resident corpseguy

I swear I am going to start a seminar in How to Exist in Public. We do not block our coworker from getting their food out of one microwave while waiting for our food in the other microwave. We do not walk four carts abreast through the grocery store, nor do we park our cart next to an end cap and wander off to another aisle. We do not start making a left turn we will not be able to complete, thereby bringing the entire intersection to a screeching halt. We do not stop dead in the middle of the hallway to answer a text. We live in a society.

close your eyes and imagine freshly roasted root vegetables perfectly seasoned and crispy as far as the eye can see

My understanders will Understand me

and As Such . My misinterpreters will Misinterpret me . The price for speaking my truth .

if you are a parent, or may become one, or you are otherwise likely to arrive in the situation of caring for a child while they eat, promise me this: if a child doesn't like a certain food or food group, you will ask them WHY. and specifically, you will pay attention to either confirming or ruling out "it makes my mouth itch" or "it makes my stomach hurt," both of which are medically important info that children may not provide unprompted. which i know because this PSA has been brought to you by "i spent my entire childhood and much of my early teens eating peas and lentils while wondering why everyone else liked the Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation so much, like were they a bunch of legume masochists or something, before i finally realized that Violently Itchy Mouth Sensation was in fact a sinister demon appearing only to me, and her true demonic name was: Legume Allergy"