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god's weakest soldier is scrolling tumblr instead of being productive or participating in any of their hobbies

*me, literally sick with want* whatever

He was blessed with the gift of curiosity

I'm like if a missing person was literally right there

"time heals all wounds" WRONG. time is chasing me with a knife

fun fact one of the world champions in pepper-eating contests is a trans woman and she actually faced significant backlash because people somehow thought she had a biological advantage. to eating spicy pepper

update bc i went back and checked: her name is brianna “the chilli queen” skinner and she set a record in 2017 by slamming back 23 carolina reapers consecutively. she only stopped when told to by the referees, and the next year she stepped down out of boredom. queen

The championship, it should be noted, is unisex. Apparently being a trans woman gives you an innate biological advantage over both cis men and cis women.

The innate biological advantage of being cool as fuck

(girl who has never told anyone anything) i must just be doing it for attention

gonna show people my authentic self soon. just as soon as I get it perfect. soon. any day now I'll be good enough to open up to others

Seasonal Affective Disorder is just emotional scurvy, all my core wounds are reopening and they won't be fixed until the big lemon in the sky comes back

it's fucked man she's wearing a tardigrade skin coat dude. this is like 1,000,000,001 dalmatians dude

hello child born between the end of the 1990s and beggining of the 2000s, welcome to my saw trap. in front of you is a computer, you can learn to code and guarantee yourself the only career that will be available in a couple of decades, or you can play around on ms paint and develop a beautiful creative mind that will starve to death forever, you have a few years to choose but by the time you do it'll be too late

no sorry i dont really use instagram, i can contact you via ouija board, spirit box, fluctuations in temperature, flickering lights, and certain rituals. i am also on tumblr.