i enjoy that every single human’s reaction to penguin is unrestrained delight

And penguins lack large terrestrial predators, so their reaction to humans tends to be, “HELLO STRANGE GIANT PENGUINS, WHAT ARE YOU DOING? DO YOU HAVE ANY FISH?”

I will reblog this on my deathbed.

Please let him science 🐧

i think at least half of the million reblabs on this are from me

There is an international treaty that says we’re supposed to stay 6m away from penguins, and it’s really difficult because no one told the penguins, and they all desperately want to wander up and say hi.

@official-penis-posts

In front of my salad??

World Heritage Post

here at the sandwich shop, we’ve started to notice some people who are new to sandwiches aren’t used to meat and cheese between two slices of bread. they find this practice strange and confusing. that’s why we’ve decided to cut the bread out all together. from now on, we’ll just serve slices of meat and cheese on a plate.

we know that many of our loyal sandwich shop customers have been coming here for years to buy our delicious sandwiches. but some people don’t “get” sandwiches, and we need to try and appeal to them with an easier-to-understand meal format. we will no longer be serving sandwiches. all of our food will just be cold cuts on a paper plate. we love our customers and appreciate your understanding <3

Yes we know Craig's Cold Cuts down the street does cold cuts better than we do and has millions of customers. That's why we need to switch to cold cuts, to get their customers. We hope that our long-time sandwich loving customer base will be patient in this transition to cold cuts and welcome the certain influx of Craig's Cold Cut customers who will surely come here to enjoy our worse cold cuts with you, our sandwich-deprived customer base, whom we value so much.

I love how this goes around again every time the tumblr staff does something fucking stupid.

so my sister's dog is named communist gun, but we call him red. right? and every once in a while when she wants him to jump on someone she goes "red scare!" and recently ive been trying to get him to jump on people when i go "mccarthyism!" but it's not working yet

oh this is absolutely the wrong blog. please ignore

i literally couldn't ignore this if i tried

World Heritage Post

This is a really fantastic return to form for this genre of post. In recent years there's been less and less effort put into this vital aspect of internet culture, it's nice to see a return to the truly artisanal work of the late 00s.

Now THIS is what the internet exists for. I was LOCKED IN the whole time.

imagine netflix says 'Alright fuckers, you win. Here's your secret ninth episode of Stranger Things' and you click on it and it's the secret good episode of Sherlock

Never forget how far you’ve come, despite how far you still have to go

my partner and i have become fixated on this stupid comment left by a conspiracy theorist on instagram and we can't stop saying it and i just know i'm gonna slip up and say it to a normal person

Imagine being Jonathan Byers, you're quarantined in the town that hates you, sleeping on a couch in your estranged girlfriend's family basement, every day you wake up and Steve Harrington decides to have a competition for your girlfriend's attention, your mom is solely focused on your brother, your brother is mad you didn't set the alarm even though he's 15, the only adult giving you advice is the middle aged conspiracy theorist who owns the bunker you lost your virginity in, and also it's the apocalypse.

remembering to bring back this banger from 2018