I’ve said it before and I will say it again because god this episode, but Armand is SO FUCKING AUTISTIC. The fact he goes to AA even tho he is not currently struggling with alcoholism like at all, specifically so that he can utilize the twelve steps of recovery, a very formulaic (and VERY religiously oriented) structuralist approach to healing the wrong he’s done and becoming a better person… he literally can’t think to attempt to mend his relationships in any way that isn’t a literal list with numbered steps. Even though the system isn’t in any way built for his very very unique situation, he literally NEEDS a System and a Rule Based Formula to revolve himself around when it’s something as incredibly nuanced as fucking Healing and Having Conversations with people he loves.
And A big part of The Steps (disclaimer: can be reinterpreted and used atheistically but were invented from a religious perspective) is giving yourself over to God and making peace with the idea that you don’t have power over your life, God does, and God will purify your soul and forgive your sins when you follow this Addiction Rulebook yada yada.
It’s a trauma thing and it’s an Armand-ism, the way that he is perpetually unable to just Exist and Figure it out As He Goes. He NEEDS this structure that can tell him what to do and how to live and keep him stuck together with glue so that he doesn’t fall apart. But it’s also very very autistic, this inability to navigate nuanced, deeply social, deeply human conflicts and situations outside of a routine, or a structure, or a This is How You Do This Step by Step pamphlet.
And god, Armand is so heartbreaking in this episode you just feel for him so much 😭. He’s fumbling around stuttering like a child and of course it’s not working. Of course the formulaic neat-little-bow 12 steps approach is not vast enough to amend the kind of shit Armand’s done and the history he has with these people. But the heartbreaking part is he really genuinely is being sincere. He really is trying to be good, he’s just so so unable to connect with people in the fundamental common ways that social interaction is built on.
His apology notes are written like ChatGPT or some weird overly formal archaic textbook summary of his history, and he reads his own words from the “deepest regions of his soul” sounding like a phone operator unconfidently rehearsing the side effects of a bowel softener. He’s staring at the page with his hand shaking without a whiff of earnestness on his flat placid face, and I can’t blame lestat or Daniel at all for laughing in his face and calling bullshit. But I understand him I really do and god it’s sad.
Here is the polished version. I broke up the massive run-on sentences so your point actually lands, fixed the typos, and kept the frustrated, rambling, internet-brain tone completely intact.
I feel like such a big part of the disconnect with that part of the fandom that theorizes every single thing Armand does and says, regardless of logic or characterization or plot, is some sort of deeply contrived elaborate evil lie or scheme is because they fail to understand that Armand is just very legitimately awkward 💀. Like yes he is dangerous, yes he is powerful, yes he is very old, but this does not somehow contradict the idea that he is genuinely just awkward and not that clever and not great at communicating like a person.
He’s emotionally stunted. He’s very unusually immature in a lot of ways. And no, that doesn’t mean he’s not cruel and capable of crazy violence or brutality. But the truth of the matter is that in real life, the people who do the craziest violent shit are often times not especially masterminded, and not especially developed in the way that people should be at a certain point.
