Edgy Bastard

so true bestie what did you say btw i wasn't paying attention

sorry i tried to drink your blood i think you're cute

i get voted prom queen and the mean girls drop a bucket of pig’s blood on me but i swallow it all perfectly

"your password is weak" well so is my memory so plz let me keep it

me? both avoiding and craving attention? you bet

“why do you sleep so much” bro i hate it here

I JUST PUT MY SHIRT ON AND THERE WAS A SPIDER IN IT!!!!!!!!

or did you just put a shirt on that a spider was already wearing?

thats so rude

it’s fucked up that firemen are always standing around shirtless with their defined muscles coated in glistening oil. like oil’s flammable idiots

it’s called building an immunity moron

Is anyone else ever genuinely shocked when you find out you have an impact on someone’s life? A coworker can be like “I’ve missed seeing you” and I’m just like “???? you?? missed me????? My presence has an effect on your daily experience???? I affect things??? W h a t ? ? ?”

oh to be stolen away in the dead of night by a mysterious ancient entity