Hey tumblr friends, in case I haven't told you lately, I have no idea what the FUCK half of you are on about and I WISH I didn't know what the rest of you are on about. Great work. Keep it up.

being online is so scary aren't you guys worried about the world wide spider

It took 36 years for someone to make this joke and by god it was worth the wait

the thing about living with mental illness for decades is that occasionally your brain will be like hey you're useless and should kill yourself and your only real reaction is cmon man right now im in the middle of something

The phrase "They don't want it perfect, they want it Friday" does wonders for my productivity.

Normal groceries like milk or bread or whatever running out is whatever. Just anotha day. But when stuff like salt or cooking oil or rice runs out it feels like You’re supposed to be here for me and you’re leaving. You’re just like everyone else

im always up at ass o clock doing god knows what

stop deactivating

i thought we all agreed we were here forever

not to be insensitive but some of the salem witch trials were so funny bitches like “i saw her at the devils sacrament!!!” girl... what were YOU doing at the devils sacrament 👀

Saddest thing ever is reading an academic paper about a threatened or declining species where you can tell the author is really trying to come up with ways the animal could hypothetically be useful to humans in a desperate attempt to get someone to care. Nobody gives a shit about the animals that “don’t affect” us and it seriously breaks my heart

This is how I learn there's a moth whose tiny caterpillars live exclusively off the old shells of dead tortoises.

because we would be calling attention to the existence of a species that is so infinitely worth knowing

god's weakest soldier is scrolling tumblr instead of being productive or participating in any of their hobbies