tired & done, no tags, inconsistent blogging

a good day makes good sleep

starting with a lil treat gets the work done

More things to do is less overwhelming

don’t make a plan just get in there

Incredible addition

what if he developed allergies at some point, not when he was super young but maybe during puberty, because changing hormone levels can trigger new/different immune responses? i developed an allergy to melon some time in middle school or early high school, but only to honeydew and cantaloup, watermelon is totally fine. i really liked honeydew so i was super bummed about that one but i could take cantaloup or leave it so i was less upset about that one when i became allergic. i know there are other kinds of melons out there but those are the most common kinds where i live and i’m not really interested in testing it out. my face swells up, especially my eyes, my tongue and throat get itchy, and sometimes i get hives. interestingly, my grandfather had the exact same reaction to melon, too (i joke that i inherited both his autism and his melon allergy lol)

so what if little baby shane LOVED honeydew, ate it all the time, and then one day it turned on him (or his immune system turned on him) and yuna and david had to take away one of his favorite post-hockey game snacks. and he understood why, he didn’t want a repeat of that first reaction, but “it’s not fairrrrr mom! why did i have to start getting all puffy and itchy about this? why couldn’t it have been to shellfish or something, i don’t even like those?” (he saw a diagram of the internal structures of mussels in biology class and got so grossed out that he never ate them again [happened to me])

he also has several food intolerances/sensitivities that aren’t full-blown allergies, but the outcome is Very Unpleasant so he stays away from them anyway. so he can’t eat eggs on their own, he’s totally fine if they’re an ingredient in a recipe but an omelette is a Bad Idea and mayo is also not happening since it’s mostly egg but the sensory ick of it was so bad he didn’t mind, he can’t have mushrooms or eggplant or squash in general, and some stuff is hit or miss, so putting kale in his smoothies is always a gamble. like, none of those will kill him, but he’s not exactly fond of having to basically live in the bathroom for 2-3 days after he eats a few bites of quiche so it’s easier to just. not.

but given that he does have some real allergies and a bunch of sensitivities, not to mention the foods he can’t stand the sensory sensation of thanks to his autism, he will sometimes lie to people and say he’s allergic to something he just really hates because a lot of people are more accepting of an allergy than a preference and he’s just so sick of people trying to force him to eat something with peanuts in it because they think it’s funny how upset he gets about it. and he feels awful lying about it, because it feels wrong to claim to be allergic to something when he isn’t because he knows people who would actually die if they so much as breathed in the same room as some of the things he just can’t stand, but if people would just stop mocking him for not liking peanuts and trying to force him to eat them he wouldn’t have to lie about it, so really this is everyone else’s fault. and it’s one of the only things he ever lies about because he’s not very good at lying, he’s too earnest and his poker face is terrible, but technically, saying that if he eats peanuts it “won’t be pretty” isn’t a lie, it’s just that that means “i’ll probably have a meltdown over the smell and the texture” instead of “anaphylaxis and trip to the er”.

Shane who is allergic but not deathly allergic to citrus. Shane who doesn't drink much alcohol other than beer because so many mixed drinks have lemon, lime, or orange juice. Shane who takes vitamin C supplements. Shane who feels bad every time he has to ask someone to put away their orange or tangerine because it's making his throat close up. Shane having to answer the same questions over and over. Shane memorizing a list of citrus because a shocking number of people don't know which fruits are citrus. Shane telling Hayden (again) that pineapples are not a citrus. Shane as a kid wondering why his mouth felt weird eating after-practice orange slices. Shane avoiding most fruity dishes because lemon and lime juice are so often used in them.

he already knows the answer.

and ilya is used enough to allergies atp that he doesn't freak out or anything, so he's already calm, but the kid is like, "it's okay, I'm only a little allergic 🥰"

and ilya just "...y-you know you are allergic but ate them anyway??? why???"

and kiddo "🤤 they're so good 🤤"

and ilya

"new camp rule!! everyone with allergies: 🗣️STOP EATING ALLERGIES🗣️"

And Ilya days "then we won't throw eggs at the kids "

"Hey! We don't punch our opponents!" (... Though that kid totally had it coming with that comment)

A very great add on in the comments to make even more fun content, that inspires me to say:

Anyway, I think if they’re keeping their relationship secret, knowing how locker rooms are, this is absolutely a thing that happens to Ilya before a hotel room hookup but after he learns about Shane’s allergies.

oh man i see this and raise you: ilya coming into the ottawa training center one day and just hollander! 🙅 stay away!! 🙅 no kisses for you!!!

and shane just 🙄 as he continues doing his reps on the rowing machine

and everyone is ??? discord?? fighting??? marital spat?? angry enough that they can't even be near each other in the gym???

Ilya, on the phone with a tone that's clearly clinging to politeness by his fingertips: "Yes, I went to a birthday party there earlier and there must have been some peanuts, coconut, or almonds in the food that I didn't know about, my partner had an allergic reaction when I came home-"

Rodney, Centaurs superfan knowing damn well the man on the phone must be Ilya Rozanov: Oh no I almost killed Ilya Rozanov's girlfriend with eggrolls

The next day...

Hockey commentators: "And for those who missed it online, the Metros announced Shane Hollander is out for the next three days due to an anaphylactic episode, our best wishes on his recovery."

Rodney, who's been deep cleaning his whole bar to get rid of any peanut dust after burning that damn recipe card and put the game on for background noise: "WAIT A MINUTE"

OH MY GOD I LOVE

i see this and raise you: rodney is too distraught at almost killing ilya's rozanov's mystery girlfriend that he's too busy de-allergying the bar to pay attention to the news because he is UPSET. ilya is PART OF HIS TEAM and he has LET HIM DOWN. (rod, honey, there is literally no way you could have- HE HAS FAILED THEM, TANYA.)

but TANYA is just "honey, it will be fine, but if it makes you feel better go ahead" and IS watching the news and has a moment of "ilya rozanov is calling about his mystery allergic partner (and hmmm how interesting for famous womanizer ilya rozanov to use the word partner) and then shane hollander is out of the game for mystery medical leave (i feel like they probably wouldn't announce details but hmmmmm what interesting timing)."

i feel like making this situation worse is also that's just. such a sibling thing to do even without the allergies involved lmao.

And Ilya DEFINITELY has a meltdown when he find out you can develop allergies any time!!

ilya updating the copy of shane's list he carries in his wallet after shane develops a new allergy and ilya learns for the first time that that's possible

Part One: the initial reaction. A rash on the chest, neck, and sometimes face, a swelling throat, difficulty breathing, and nausea. Sometimes the nausea leads to vomiting while your throat closes, and this is the worst feeling in the world. Also, it freaks people out.

Part Two: the epi-pen itself. You open it, jab your leg, and hold for three seconds. The relief is nearly instant, and you can breathe as soon as you take the needle out of your leg. The rash also goes away. You have to put the empty pen in a bag or sharps box, or just hand it off to your panicked friend while they call an ambulance, or, if you’re American, a taxi. If one dose isn’t enough, the second dose goes in your other leg.

Part Three: this is where you start to get side effects. Now that your airway is clear and you’re no longer vomiting, you start to feel the consequences of a massive dose of pure adrenaline. You feel very hot and very cold, all at once. You start sweating, and your skin turns red, though it’s not itchy anymore. Your hands shake and your teeth chatter, which makes speaking difficult. Your heart rate increases dramatically, and you can feel your own pulse in your ears. You may get a stuffy nose when the increased blood flow reaches your sinuses. Also, that much adrenaline makes you feel like you’e just done three haunted houses and a rollercoaster. This freaks people out because it looks like you’re reacting again even though the opposite is true. You do not need another dose, not unless you still can’t breathe. It looks much worse than it is.

Part Four: you go to the emergency room. You need five hours of monitoring to make sure the reaction doesn’t persist and the adrenaline doesn’t give you a heart attack. A nurse may give you a low dose steroid which will make the redness go away. Now you sit and wait until you stop shaking. The adrenaline crash will make you very tired. Your friend will have many questions, such as “what the fuck”. Unfortunately, you cannot answer them, because you are asleep.

Bonus: if you’re American you get charged $500 for the ER visit and then $600 for a replacement EpiPen

to the end result that it's not uncommon for shane to be like, "wait, can i eat this?" about things during team bbqs or something because he was over having fun with a ginger ale and ilya got the rundown because he wanted to know anyway.

but this also then evolves to a game of shane pointing to things that are OBVIOUSLY not safe and asking "can i eat this?" and ilya going "no. bad." purely as a bit. (like bowls of peanuts/cake with slivered almonds on it). and it's just a way of making an important part of their life also feel less heavy. like when it comes time to actually eat, the question is genuine and important, but if they're mingling and just passing by, it's just a funny inside joke.

and it's one ilya reciprocates, too. he has no allergies, but he still points at things and is like, "can i have this?" and shane just "nope. not allowed. forbidden.". and it's a joke.

to THEM.