Essays of a Thinker

"I know not with what weapons Overwatch 3 will be fought, but Overwatch 4 will be fought with sticks and stones." - Winston

Hey man. We don't usually do this, but your text to your girlfriend about the Arby's employees at the airport talking to each other like Abe's Odyssey npcs gave all of us here a good chuckle. Keep it up! -Tyler, your NSA agent

one time i was making potato soup and i needed broth for it but i was out of broth. but in my dog food cabinet there was a carton of chicken broth that i had bought for my dog. now the box did say HUMAN GRADE and the ingredients were just bog standard chicken broth. it did say something about joint health for dogs on there. but the ingredients were normal. i even compared the ingredients list to some normal person broth and they were the same. so i did put dog broth in that soup and it did taste completely normal. but i did use the dog broth.

If you hit a certain number of typos in a row they should you leave work early

I just can’t believe some of u are soooo young u didn’t experience the early 2000s at all like even briefly . U were born and ur mother door dashed you home from the hospital

actually i was in the NICU for a couple weeks after being pieced together by surgeons but whatever lmao

That’s because she used klarna. To pay through 4 easy installments with no interest

he stole 1 penny from her hot dog cart and she chased him across the world and her hot dog cart sat there and nobody touched it out of respect

the hot dog stand was there for 100 years and nobody touched it out of respect and the rain didnt rain on it and the wind didnt blow it and time didnt decay it and 100 years later when she got her penny back the hot dog stand started coughing and the neighborhoods kids said whats wrong and it started coughing and said i dont have much time left and they said no and the hot dogs started smelling bad and the kids cried and the kids started smelling bad and the candles started smelling gioood

Tumblr used to be so fucking funny before nsfw ban. I remember a dude said something crazy on a joke post of mine and i went to his blog and his first post was a video of him shitting into his underwear up close. We used to have it all