Total Randomness

if anybody has beef with me, it’s one-sided. i do not care. i do not have the energy. i am tired.

They saw their chance and by George they took it

when the interviewer asks you about your skills

Kindness is not flirting.

Attention is not love.

Silence is not anger.

digiorno is not delivery.

Alright I’m out of the loop, what’d she do wrong that y’all want her dead

She herself had no part in that tho. What’d she do personally is what I’m asking.

To quote James Connolly: “We will not blame [her] for the crimes of [her] ancestors if [she] relents the royal rights of [her] ancestors; but as long as [she] claims their rights, by virtue of descent, then, by virtue of descent, [she] must shoulder the responsibility for their crimes.”

Didn’t watch the Oprah interview but every time people start asking if the Queen is problematic I come back to this post

These news programs think they’re slick all the time writing the number out long form rather than like 22.2 billion to make it seem like this impossible inconceivable number at first glance but then you realize we spend 22 billion every couple weeks on things that kill people.

They traded all the guns in the final climactic showdown for Bea Arthur’s face. Worth it.

Reynolds paid it himself, out of pocket. It didn’t come from the budget. He talked with Bea’s sons and they agreed to it for a donation to Bea’s favorite charity. ☺️

I did not know that. That’s so much better than I could have imagined.

It’s important to note that the aforementioned charity is a charity that offers housing to homeless LGBTQ youth

during one of his portland shows, he noticed this like 7 year old girl in the front row and asked her (and her parents) if she ‘is aware that she is physically here right now’ or if she was just brought along. turns out her favorite john mulaney bit is the “and I’m new in town” bit and that she’s seen all his stuff. He was so shocked and discomforted by the fact a SEVEN YEAR OLD has seen his shows, that he couldn’t get through a bit about donating to charity without interrupting himself at least three times to import good life lessons on this small child, as if that makes up for all the horrible things he’s said that she heard

ah so john mulaney is a chaotic neutral cryptid

i saw him last night and there was a good ten minute interlude where a woman told him everything she found wrong with his suit, including that his pants were too high waisted to which he replied “that’s where my hips are” and someone in the back shouted “look at that high waisted man he’s got feminine hips!” and he yelled back “that’s my joke! i’m offended!!”

I saw him live at my college. During his show he shouted something, which spooked a service dog in training that someone had brought with them (the dogs are common on campus, cause they are learning how to socialize and be in large crowds without reacting). Seeing the dog had been scared he apologized and asked the dog’s name. Upon hearing the dogs name was “Blanket” he about lost his god damn mind he was so happy. throughout the show he kept checking on Blanket. It was adorable.

This is my favorite version of this thread now

Remember when Ursula K. Le Guin called JK Rowling a nasty basic bitch back in like, 2004? We should have listened

“This last is the situation, as I see it, between my A Wizard of Earthsea and J.K.Rowling’s Harry Potter. I didn’t originate the idea of a school for wizards — if anybody did it was T.H.White, though he did it in single throwaway line and didn’t develop it. I was the first to do that. Years later, Rowling took the idea and developed it along other lines. She didn’t plagiarize. She didn’t copy anything. Her book, in fact, could hardly be more different from mine, in style, spirit, everything. The only thing that rankles me is her apparent reluctance to admit that she ever learned anything from other writers. When ignorant critics praised her wonderful originality in inventing the idea of a wizards’ school, and some of them even seemed to believe that she had invented fantasy, she let them do so. This, I think, was ungenerous, and in the long run unwise.“

Remember when Tumblr just invented a Greek god

That’s one of the most greek god mythology things I’ve ever heard and based on that she’s to be treated as new to the roster.

Hades: I’ve only had Mesperyian for a year and a half but if anything happened to her I’d kill everyone on Earth and then myself

Oh the power of lack of fact checking

The lack of fact checking was how we got Greek mythology in the first place.

SHE IS THE GOD OF THE INTERNET

And yet they still manage to be existentially terrified and angry at all times nonetheless.