Okie

So much better.  Don’t you agree?  Bet it’s hard to say anything other than yes.  Just nod your head, let me guide your head, nod for me, that’s a good boy.  This is your new haircut.  Look how cleaned-up you are.  No more shaggy beard or unkempt hair.  Nice and kept.  What’s that?  Yes, I knew you’d like the vest eventually.  And the shirt.  And the starched collar.  And the tie – and its four-in-hand knot… Just keep staring into the mirror.  You’re new, now.  And doesn’t it feel good?  Like it ought to?  Don’t you feel like you’ve come home?  For the first time, comfortable in your skin, in your clothes.  Confident, and able to admit that you are a preppy boy now.  It sounds weird, huh.  Preppy boy.  Weird but good … right?  Preppy boy.  Maybe even a bit of a hipster, you think people say that about you?  He’s a bit of a hipster.  It’ll be so important to you to make it to these appointments.  Every other week.  Styled and shaved.  Cleaned up.  Just like you get dirty, you get cleaned up.  Styled and shaved.  Nod your head slowly if you agree with me, and it’s so hard to do anything but agree with me.  Say yes.  Just nod your head, let me guide your head, nod for me. 

There is a pure, uncomplicated joy in watching a "boing" happen. It is the ultimate celebration of elasticity—a sudden release of tension that transforms potential energy into kinetic fun. Boing. Boing.