CrystalClearMist

Seeing as I don’t think this will change any time soon, I instead propose a solution: Dick is still a tech whiz in his own right, but only for highly dated technology. You have a modern database that needs backdooring? Better ask Barbara, or Tim, if she isn’t available.

But if you, for some ungodly reason, need to access data off a punch card, or a magnetic tape, or a 5 1/4 inch floppy disk? You need to operate in UNIX? You need to write in FORTRAN, or COBOL? In this incredibly niche, one-in-a-million scenario, you call Dick.

There's no good billionaires, because good billionaires either don't become billionaires or quickly stop being billionaires.

There's useful billionaires. They do use their wealth for some good reasons. They push some good research. But they will always be somewhat ensuring they're own self interests. These are few among the already rare billionaire class.

However the drunk guys are also drinking, and eventually she can't afford to buy another pitcher for the table so she can't keep up the ever-full beer glass trick. At this point she has to resort to setting up the pool trick shot that she's never seen anyone but her boyfriend pull off, and says she'll leave with whoever manages the shot first.

"Enjoy it all while you still can. You only get one try. Don't look back one day and regret how you did it."

Badger cereal fic art for the Graveyards series

Let's give it a shot!

Danny transfers to Damian's highschool, specifically he transfers into Damian's class. Damian's immediately smitten with him, head over heels love at first sight. Maybe Danny's done some animal rights protests and fundraisers with Sam? Maybe Danny just has good vibes.

Damian has no clue what to do with this feeling. He's emotionally constipated so Danny's first day ends with him getting a note in fancy lettering that reads

"Your eyes are like sapphires."

It's only one sentence (I can't write good poetry) But there's a beautiful Drawing of him below the writing. Danny smiles and puts this in his school binder. Damian sees this as an absolute win.

If we go with the Idea that Damian has the reputation of being cold and calculated it makes this prompt cuter.

Just Damian being a fully trained assassin and part-time vigilante but the moment Danny walks in he's googling

"How do you talk to cute boys?"

"What is a crush?"

" How to romance a guy as a guy?"

Just imagine being one of Damian's classmates, oh my God they must be so confused. The kid who usually talks like a dictionary and is as cold as block of ice is suddenly leaving romantic poetry in the transfer student's locker?!? He actively participates in class activities to talk with him? What kind of witchcraft is this??

@unadulteratedsoulsweets

Yesss!!!

But Danny's hardly mysterious, he's literally just vibing! He's just happy nobody's shoving him in lockers or trying to fight him.(Damian can be very very scary sometimes)

Danny's kind of oblivious sometimes. Or if we go an angst route he just doesn't believe someone could actually like him so he brushes off obvious signs. He comes off as oblivious but actually he just doesn't have the best track record with relationships.

Whichever sibling is with Damian when he talks with Danny must be conflict. Because this behavior is strange for Damian but he's not wildly out of character. They're talking about crows and how they came to be associated with death. The conversation ends Danny leaves and Damian's blushing?? Jon was right what the hell!?

Imagine if someone recorded them.

To Danny he's just having a casual conversation with a classmate he's friends with. Everyone else sees Damian staring at Danny with pure adoration in his eyes as he lists off the names and historical facts about planets and constellations.

That damned video.

That damned video that shouldn't even exist.

Phones were strictly prohibited in class and even though several of Damian's classmates seemingly took joy in breaking that rule, less so the associated punishment, someone took a video.

A video of Damian no less. How his guard had been so low as to not notice the camera or the person behind it felt like a disgrace to his upbringing as an assassin and now detective, but it was clearly lacking. And that inattentiveness arose while merely talking with Danny, as he often did.

His siblings would not remain in his good graces, as little as they currently were, if they would bring up the video or it's contents in any simile of mockery.

13 seconds of Danny talking about stars. The Audio was strangely distorted but Damien knew what Danny had been talking about that class. Betelgeuse, meaning both the star and his dislike of the associated movie's portrayal of the undead.

13 seconds of Damien listening aptly, a look that seemed quite unlike him from the outside, but one that he always felt coming when Danny brightened the dull school day with their talks.

13 seconds of someone making a mistake that would haunt them when, not if, Damien learned who had taken it. Let alone post it with a caption of "Angry Wayne Kid and his Crush #DamianWayne #CelebRelationships #WayneFamily #GoodLuckDanny"

Never had Damien been so glad to know that another person did not use social media beyond basic communication.

Danny would like to think he and Damian were friends. While they never talked much outside school they talked enough in classes to make up for it. Damian was the type to speak his mind when someone was bothering him. He had no problem telling some guy who acted chillingly similar to Dash to piss off before he chopped their dick off and shoved it down their throat. Damian didn't say that directly of course. He had a more elegant way of putting it, like hitting someone with a silken pillow full of bricks. They all knew what it meant the second the word "Castrated" was used.

Damian hadn't told him to piss off yet. He listened to his rambles about space and debated with him on the characteristics flora and fauna would have if certain planets ever grew life. He didn't seem to grow tired of all the space facts thrown at him with every conversation and never got angry with Danny's obsession with the stars. The feeling was mutual; Danny could never grow weary of Damian's love of animals. He'd learned more about cows and reptiles in the few weeks he'd known Damian than he'd ever learn from any book.

Point was, Damian was someone he cared about deeply. That's why the camera's being shoved in his face and the rapid fire questions from people he vaguely recognized from TV was so alarming.

"What do you have to say about the recent exposure of your relationship with Damian Wayne?" A reporter with sleek black hair questioned shoving a microphone way too close to his face. Danny considered taking a bite out of it just for shock value.

"Um... I don't know? He's a cool guy to be friends with," The reporter gave a pained hiss at his words before turning to look at the camera.

"ohhh~ Sounds like a tough rejection for Damian awaits," Before Danny has the time to process what was said another reporter is shoving yet another microphone is his face backing him into a wall.

"Why don't you like him?"

"What don't you like about him,"

"Did he hit you? Is that where you got that bruise on your cheek?"

Danny brushed his hand against his cheek and sure enough there's a bruise. A token of walking home alone as a vulnerable looking tourist. Stealing his money was low but the pistol whipping was just uncalled for.

"no, I got mugged," Why would Damian ever hit him?

"What do you think of Gotham so far," he felt like that question redundant considering his previous response. It was also completely unrelated to the apparent obsession they had with Damian.

" 6/10 not enough gargoyles on the rooftops, the vigilantes are cool though," He laughed, glancing around for any kind of escape from this situation. This is why he never watched or read anything news related here the reporters were like starving vultures.

It was like playing twenty questions with a group of people who never let you have a turn to ask.

"Are you dating anyone?"

" I'm flattered you think I have game but no" He hasn't landed a date since Valerie broke up with him.

"What is your relationship with the current Robin?"

"Never met him next question."

"Is it true you're being stalked?"

"Does you guys following me count?"

Danny was tired he didn't even want to get lunch anymore. He just wanted to go home and spend the rest of his Saturday playing Doomed. Instead he was standing on a street corner being interrogated. Maybe if he threw himself into traffic they'd leave him alone?

"Danyal!"

Bless the ancient's he's saved! The savior the holy Blah Blah foretold would rescue him from the flock of blood thirsty reporters has finally arrived; just in time!! He was definitely being dramatic but the sight of his knight in shining cardigan running towards him was enough to bring tears to his eyes.

Danny: Thank you! I have no idea why they decided to bother me. I think they found out we are friends? But they kept asking if I was dating anyone? I don't know why though?

Damian had never felt thankful for how oblivious Danny could be. And having Danny at his side, leaning into his side to be protected made him feel incredibly good. Hmm.. He may have to research that. Never mind.

Damian: Yes. Someone posted a video on social media of us talking. I am known to be. Reclusive. You know I do not suffer fools well.

Danny laughed and nodded. That was indeed, very very true.

Danny: I mean. It's understandable. Your Dad is Bruce Wayne. Most of the idiots at school want to be your friend for money reasons. It's so shallow...

Damian: Yes, and then there is you. On a scholarship and you refuse to let me buy you anything.

Danny: I have pride thank you! Also!! I make money! Not loads! But! I have the patent for the thing! And the uh, other ones. I might not make loads, but I make enough to pay my own way! Speaking of! As a thank you to my most valiant knight. Let me buy you lunch? There is a new cat cafe. And, it has vegan options!

Damian: Well, how could I say no to such an offer. It would be good to see how they treat the cats. If they are not up to standards I can ask Father to help them.

Danny smiled softly at Damian. He might be harsh with his words. A wee bit violent at times when pushed. But he hid a caring side. Ah!

Danny: Oh! They asked if you hit me! Which, rude! So you might want to get people on that! You only hit people when they piss you off. Generally after warning them you will if they continue. I don't understand why people don't get that!

Damian:... I will talk to my Father. What did happen?

Danny: Oh! Someone tried to mug me on my way home last night. It's fine though. I am preeetty sure I broke their arm when I got away.

Damian: You worry me at times Danyal.

And then, when someone eventually catches a picture of Robin swooping in to save Danny, they're absolutely gonna push some kind of love triangle story where Damian is somehow competing with himself to woo Danny. It's gonna be full on Team Edward/Team Jacob in Gotham. With the bonus angle of the love interest being either unrequiting or endearingly oblivious. (Again, as an story for the tabloids to sell. We know that Danny is just clueless. The paps have to theorize.)

The teasing in the batchat is gonna be merciless for months.

That love triangle

Danny thinks it’s hysterical

Yeah, sure, the vigilante he saw a grand total of once and who happened to get caught in a pic pulling him away from a cloud of fear gas? Totally in love with him. For sure

So he definitely plays up that side

Goes full sarcastic “baby’s first crush uwu” with the press whenever they catch him

Laughs about it with his best friend in the whole world… Damian

Who is alternately just

- jealous as fuck of himself when he sees Danny swooning over Robin in post-rogue-attack footage,

- fucking furious that Danny thinks so little of himself when Danny jokes that no one could possibly find him attractive so of course Robin’s not interested,

- biting his lips to keep his own mouth shut when Danny talks wistfully about maybe finding someone one day

- deeply concerned by Danny’s jokes that “well it would take a vigilante to keep me in one piece” and “not that falling off a roof hurt me the last time I did it but the catch was nice”

And…. Well.

It’s Gotham. There’s a lot of rogue attacks.

Vicki Fucking Vale gets a picture of Danny being pulled from rubble by Red Robin one day and the tabloids LOSE THEIR GODDAMN MINDS

Tim thinks it’s just funny until Damian gets his old grapple-cutting scowl back on his face and sabotages Tim’s Red Robin suit by filling three hidden pockets with pure vanilla extract - annoying rather than dangerous, which is a nice change, but still a warning

Danny thinks this is all Even Funnier and begins publicly swooning over vigilantes as chosen by a little spinner he makes himself

Damian, who is Totally Just Making Sure His Friend Is Alright, begins semi-stalking Danny on patrol to make sure ROBIN is always on hand to save him

Not Red Fucking Robin

Not Red Fucking Hood

Not Batwing or Batgirl or Batwoman or Spoiler or Signal or Orphan or Bluebird or Nightwing or Batman or Superboy fuck you Jon Damian invited you over for video games not stealing his man

Danny is Only Encouraged

Begins joking with Damian that “maybe Robin does like me after all”

Damian is going to burst a blood vessel clenching his butt cheeks too tightly to try and contain his Emotions and provide civilian appropriate responses but at least it’s better than the time Danny unknowingly rated his siblings by butt pics

(Dick won it’s a legal necessity and Danny refuses to judge either Robin until they stop wearing ass covering capes)

And then… and then one day Danny stops joking about heroes (it was relevant the school was attacked Yet Again and they got the rest of the day off) and just softly says that maybe there was someone else he wishes was actually interested in him

Damian internally swears on his entire family’s honour (the assassin side of the family) that he will kill this person for getting Danny’s attention which they surely do not deserve, Danny is perfection

In my outlines the whole robinxDannyxDamian love triangle does happen so this is something that’s going into the fic. I’ve got fake ship names ready and am frothing at the mouth at the thought of Damian beefing with himself on social media. I imagine it’s fucking hilarious to the Batfam because they know Damian is lowkey jealous of himself.

For plot reasons Danny doesn’t use social media often in this fic (He saw a fanfiction simping for Vlad and it traumatized him forever) But imagine being a gothamite and opening social media to find fucking Damian Wayne talking shit about Robin because his crush has a crush on the vigilante and the other vigilantes are just like.

“Lmao”

“Would you rather him have just let him die?”

“This is so fucking dumb omg”

“@bruciewayne come get your kid”

“ Istg someone is going to get kidnapped because of this post,”

We can recreate Dickwing

Damian beefs with Robin so hard he accidentally makes some sort of insinuation that Robin doesn’t know how to please a man, the tabloids LOSE THEIR SHIT that Damian Wayne knows what Robin is like in relationships

(Dick has to explain what the fuck happened to Damian, who is furious right up until Danny fucking kisses him on the forehead for being the funniest guy he knows and playing into their “love triangle”

From that moment on it was completely intentional, Dick borrows the Robin twitter login so they can have an in real time scripted fucking SHOWDOWN, Danny and Damian brainstorm ideas and Damian, again, is Conflicted)

Danny makes a social media account for one reason and one reason only:

(He only has this one because it’s too easy for Vlad to stalk him and ruin things on social media)

Danny Fenton follows a different Gotham vigilante once a month til he runs out, posts a pic of himself at a rogue attack site (usually not active but sometimes it is and people freak), and tags a random vigilante with #ComeSaveMe

He never follows anyone else, never replies to messages or even checks his notifications, it is only For The Bit (and a little bit to fuck with Vlad)

The only exception to this rule is when he tags Batman and changes his tag to #ComeSaveMeBatDaddy

Jason prints that post out and frames it for the cave

Meanwhile the bats are relentlessly teasing Damian for finally getting a date. Planning to stalk it in costume, for the drama. Danny? Finds this hilarious down the line when he knows. As soon as Danny finds out they are the batclan? He is going to laugh himself sick.