oatman

All slapstick is horror because people get hurt and that’s scary

so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god

i need all the help i can get for finals

My life is pretty good but definitely sharing this out for all my folks who might need it!

tumblr banning the #girl and #weed... huge loss for the three weed smoking girlfriends industry

I’m so mad to the point I’m nauseous 

Wake up babe new copypasta dropped

Orpheus turned around cause lil nas x slid down the pole right behind him

my family fucked up my life by using spoonerisms interchangeably with their true phrase counterparts since before i was born and now i can’t escape from instinctively saying shit like “im gonna shake a tower”

the……. ghasts…. I think they were……. no, it couldn’t be….

i’m 12 years old i’m 64 i’m over caffeinated im day drinking i’m taking two ibuprofen i’m on the brink of tears i’m staring into space i’m having a breakdown i’m mentally ill im doing pretty well actually! i’m the main character i’m a vermeer painting i’m a haunted doll

just learned that the covid vaccines don’t actually have autism in them. think I’m gonna puke.

im going to play electric feel. by mgmt and this time i swear i won’t go crazyybbdhbhabghjgffkd3275689450′432 

“i could fix him” okay well i could trans his gender. so.

↖ bearer of the curse (ADHD)

my ideal job would be working in an ice cream shop and scooping ice cream out of big tubs but never having to talk to anyone

in my fantasy you can walk into my store where there is a selection of blindfolds for you to choose and put on and then railing for you to follow where you will stand and wait while i inspect you. this involves sniffing for Bad Scent, general mood tracker and aura color. if i seen you worthy i pat you on the shoulder and you continue forwards to the counter. there’s a platform there for you to indicate when to stop. i am behind the counter where i dip my ice cream scoop into hot water and shake the excess off. i gaze over the selection of ice cream and scoop out the flavours i have already predetermined for you. the decision is mine alone. i craft you an ice cream. i lay it all out in my head.. waffle cone.. chocolate base.. vanilla on top.. the blue ice cream i’ve never tested and i don’t know what flavour it is.. strawberry.. i take the ice cream and i tip it upside down into the chocolate and dip it swiftly, then rotate it for an even coat. there is a little nub at the top of the ice cream from the drip. i smile. before it dries too much i coat the top half of the ice cream in nuts and apply a single fake cherry. you won’t enjoy the cherry. i close my eyes and inspect the blueprint in my mind before reopening them and comparing it to the ice cream before me. my body heat is starting to effect it and the chocolate has slightly melted inside. this was all to plan. i now turn towards you and take your hand. i place it upon mine. we have a moment of silence. i place the ice cream into your hand. i hold it for a second. i indicate through shaking on the platform that your order is complete. you exit to your right. you may now remove your blindfold and pay at the exit. you pay afterwards, it’s a flat price of 9.57$. the ice cream is perfect, yet confusing. the cherry is disgusting and you drop it on the ground as you aren’t a very kind person. i am already serving the next customer. this is my design

This is the content you can't get on twitter

you can i post much more extensively about my wonderful world on twitter actually