do it for carrie

She also apparently brought a fucking cake like how much more cartoonishly evil can you get??

no offense but can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars i could really use a wish right now

If youve ever longingly stared at the idea of being another gender chances are you arent cis. Im loading up the transgenderfication beam and aiming it at you for you to unlock your full potential, stay still.

Hate diet culture so much bitches will b like “don’t eat processed carbs they’re so bad for you” like and??? So what?? God did not give us grain and stone to grind it with for no reason. Bread is inevitable. Bread is food for the heart and the soul. U think I’m gonna give that up in pursuit of instagram fitness?? U think I’m gonna deny myself the simple pleasure of toast with jam so I can endlessly chase an ever-shifting standard of beauty that ultimately means nothing? In 20 years I will no longer be beautiful and in 60 my body will be vacant food for other, smaller creatures. But the taste of fresh bread? Of homemade donuts and still-warm pie? I will carry the taste on my tongue into whatever follows this life. So like. Stop telling me I should diet lmao. I’m not abt to martyr myself just to get a man to look at me.

Op genuinely thank you for this

episode 200 of the magnus archives drops and the entities come through into our reality and suddenly its not so funny anymore

[Image ID: A screenshot of Tumblr tags that read: "#the magnus archives is no longer a podcast". / End ID]

Listen uquiz makers I need you to know that if you give me 10 separate song lyrics I’ve never heard, all at once, without the context of the song, and without the music, none of them are going to “resonate with me” or “make me go feral”

He’s gone walkabout….

Look can cephalapods pick a later time to start evolving into land animals, we’ve got enough going on right now.

Octodad…

Cleaning with ADHD all about momentum. Its like being a shark, if you stop moving you just straight up die.

who is ready for the 10 year anniversary of party rock anthem on January 25th

a happy 10 year anniversary of party rock anthem to all

boy (affectionate)

sir (customer service voice for when my cat, tux, is trying to eat plastic)

shawty got low low low low low low low (self esteem)