GREMLIN

the "we need this version of [x]" memes always have me in hysterics for some reason

"here's my original character, Man Who Sucks But Loves His Daughter Very Much" and it's a guy who worships at the altar of patriarchal violence and the woman he uses as an excuse and an effigy to absolve him

well i think his daughter should tell him to kill himself

now i got 32 flavors of that dookie licious cummie cum

delete this

immediately

Raspberry, pop ha cherry Imma eat her bootycrumbs!

my overall opinion of the whole "i became a white nationalist because people called me racist for no reason" talking point is that while I do think spurious accusations of bigotry are a problem, if your immediate reaction to being called racist is to become an actual white nationalist then it sounds like they were right about you being racist. like I don't think that accusation was spurious.

being obsessed with captain america: the winter soldier in 2014 is something that will always be inside of you

do it grieving

"Isn't it weird that [thing humans commonly eat] is poisonous to literally every domesticated animal" I mean, there's a pretty good chance that [thing humans commonly eat] is at least mildly poisonous to humans, too. One of our quirks as a species is that we think our food is bland if it doesn't have enough poison in it.

I mean, joke's on us: because all those plants produce a poison that we like, we cultivated them in unimaginable numbers and spread them around the world. Maybe the meta-strat is 'the ones with opposable thumbs like poison so much that if we make them a new kind, we're set for life'