Sam wants to princess carry Kaladin

Kaladin with puppy requested by anon. :)

No puppies will be even (imaginarily) harmed in the making of this post! Anyway, let's think about key moments in the Stormlight Archive and how the would have been different with Kaladin had a puppy during them.

1. Kaladin forcing the Bridgemen to wake up

Kaladin has decided to take control and make sure the bridgemen survive. But they don't respect him. They don't listen to him. He decides he's going to wake them up at the crack of dawn to train....and he decides to pick the meanest bridgeman to make an example of.

Moash: WHAT THE HELL IS LICKING MY FACE The puppy: ! ! ! ! ! ! Kaladin: And if the rest of you don't want to be woken by slobbery kisses, you'd better get up! Rock: ....Sounds kinda nice, actually. Moash: IT IS NOT NICE

2. The Disadvantaged Duel

Adolin and Renarin are in the arena. It's the disadvantaged duel. Dalinar is frantically asking someone, anyone to help them--where is their honor??

Kaladin: Honor will not be with me. But I'll see what I can do. Kaladin: [hands Dalinar a fat, fluffy puppy and then jumps into the arena] Dalinar: [staring down at the glyph on the puppy's collar] This creature's name is Honor...?

3. Prison

Kaladin has been thrown into prison due to him daring to challenge Amaram.

Kaladin: I'm so sorry, Honor. Kaladin: This prison.... We can't see the sun. We can't leave. It's like being trapped in the darkness. The puppy: [is making little puppy snoring sounds in its sleep] Kaladin: ... Kaladin: Maybe it's not quite so bad with you here.

4. Kaladin and Shallan in the chasms

It's the next morning. Shallan has barely slept. She is bedraggled. Exhausted. Irritated.

Kaladin (cheerfully): It's morning! Let's get walking! The puppy (equally cheerfully): Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Bark! Shallan: ... Shallan: They're both storming morning people?!

5. Kaladin rescuing Dalinar from Szeth

Szeth sent Dalinar up into the sky to die. But! He just floated back down, safe and sound! And who is that coming down from the sky, glowing and heroic?

Kaladin (he has a puppy in his arms): You (bark!) sent him (bark!) to the sky (bark!) to (bark!) die, assassin. (bark!) But (bark) the skies (bark!) are mine (bark!).... Kaladin: ... Kaladin: Um, Honor, do you mind? I'm trying be dramatic here.

6. Returning to Hearthstone

Kaladin's return to Hearthstone was very dramatic in canon, what with him being a Radiant 'n' all. But in this version, he also has a puppy.

That guard, stubbornly: He's dangerous. He has a shash brand. Hesina: He is currently playing with an adorable puppy! The guard: It's probably a...dangerous puppy? Hesina: Do you have eyes???

7. Fighting Lezian

Kaladin is being constantly pursued by a horrible Fused who can discard his body and zip into a new one to avoid death!

The puppy: [happily chasing Lezian's discarded husks like it's a game of fetch] Lezian: Um, can he stop doing that? I feel like it's bad for my dignity. Kaladin: You have dignity?

8. The dog and the dragon

Kaladin is in a coma. His soul has been taken to Braize. It is horrible. But! Hoid has come. And he's telling Kaladin a story.

Hoid: "The dog slunk away, feeling foolish and hurt. He had failed in his first task, to have scales like a dragon." Kaladin (holding a dream version of his puppy protectively in his arms): He did NOT fail! Kaladin: That dog did NOTHING wrong!

9. The puppy and Syl

I just want to state for the record that no matter where we are in Stormlight, Syl absolutely LOVES the puppy.

Kaladin: !! Kaladin: Syl...did you just pet Honor? Syl: I'm learning to be more solid! Syl: Specifically so I can scratch a very good good boy under his super soft and fluffy ears! The puppy: Bark! Bark! Bark! Syl: I love you too!!

10. The puppy and Kaladin's depression

Having a puppy would not in any way cure Kaladin's depression, of course. But depression + puppy > than depression and no puppy, am I right?