Should Cosmere Characters be Preschool Teachers?
Cosmere characters as preschool teachers requested by @cosmereplay :)
Are you considering hiring a Cosmere character as a preschool teacher at your school? The question is: should you? Would they make good preschool teachers?
1. Kaladin
No!
Kaladin: These kids are rowdy. They don't listen to me. Kaladin: But...if I identify the biggest and meanest toddler and then defeat them in battle... Syl: Kaladin, no!
But also yes...
Third grade teacher: Um, Kaladin? At recess today a large and weirdly organized group of preschoolers surrounded and beat up a third grader who was bullying someone. Kaladin: Nice. Third grade teacher: ... Kaladin: I mean...I'll talk to them.
2. Shallan
Yes!
Shallan: It's art time, kids! Everyone, draw your favorite animal! Kids: [cheering]
But also no...
Shallan: Ah, that big yellow circle in the sky that you drew---is that your mother's deceased soul? Kid: T-The sun?? Shallan: .... Shallan: Oh yeah. That makes more sense.
3. Tress
No!
Tress: Class, it's science time! Class: [cheering] Tress: Now, many say that these chemicals are too dangerous for children, but...
But also yes...
Tress: Every year I notice that some kids don't seem to have school supplies or warm clothing. Tress: So I hold these "raffles," but I make sure that certain kids win. Tress: They get what they need, but with no guilt or shame! Tress: It's so fun to give gifts--no dragon needed!
4. Vin
Yes!
Vin: Class, today I brought in my large, fluffy, magically hypoallergenic dog! Class [cheering]
But also no...
Child: Miss Vin, where did you get your dog? Vin: Funny story, actually! I... TenSoon: [barking loudly to interrupt]
5. Wayne
No!
Wayne: Now, remember kids, it's not stealing as long as you leave something in its place!
But also yes...
Child: Knock! Knock! Wayne: Who's there? Child: Farts! Wayne (already giggling): Farts who? Child: FARTS FARTS Wayne: [roaring with laughter] That's such a good one!! Child: :-D
7. Malata
Yes!
Malata: Well, kids, we built up this magnificent city of blocks. Malata: AND NOW WE DESTROY IT!!!! Kids: [cheering]
But also no...
Malata: I saw that Henry wouldn't share with you. Malata: I have a five-step plan to help you destroy him. Child: I'm five! Malata: ... Malata: I have two-step plan.
7. Breeze
No!
Breeze: My cup? Oh, it's, um, grape juice, Breeze: (Technically true!)
But also yes...
All the kids are snoozing happily. Breeze: For a Soother, naptime is a breeze!
8. Raoden
Yes!
Raoden: Hmmm... I asked the school to buy the kids new art supplies, and the gave me a box of dry markers, recycled magazines, and a single glue stick. Raoden: ... Raoden: I can make this work.
But also no...
Child: [scream-crying because they skinned their knee] Raoden: [also screaming] Raoden: Wait. Raoden: I forgot that that's literally fine.
