I Do Be Hating It Here Tho

“paimon will help you find her, and we’ll spend the next lantern rite together!”

The lesson to be learned from this particular legend is: If you’re gender non-binary, you’re magic, Ishtar loves you, and even the queen of hell think’s you’re hot.

See: every myth where Zeus can’t keep it in his pants. Also known as “every myth.”

“Let’s see. Thought, Memory… huh, looks like I don’t have a raven for Impulse Control! How about that.”

This is a time-honored policeman’s strategy known as Good Cop, Crazy Perp.

And by the way, when you do put your queen in the laundry, it’s machine wash cold and then tumble dry low. There’s not a tag, so it’s hard to figure out sometimes.

Because guess what: Nazis are dicks! Who knew?

Yeah, it’s an actual love triangle for once, rather than one of those stupid “love bent lines” that all the books keep trying to pass off as a love triangle.

Yeah, I’m afraid outside the world of young adult fiction, being a demigod only earns you the lamest of your deific parent’s abilities.