honey rat

I’m sorry, but the confusion of why your bathroom doesn’t have a door far outweighs any feelings of horror this might evoke.

can’t afford door.. the horror here is the realities of life

So what fuck was your wife knocking on

this dick

It’s not even 4 words???

Does anyone else remember the story about that poor lesbian who came out to her mother and her mother cried and said “it’s all that damn Keira Knightley’s fault, I knew I shouldn’t have let you watch pride and prejudice as a child” because I’m really feeling that now

this post is everything i need in life

This was so ridiculously drawn out and the conclusion was so obvious yet still I couldn’t tell where this was going

They did it while we were sleeping.

when tumblr closes find me on omegle in the bon appetit interest filter

snitch flag

my cat does this before he pukes

chimpanzees are terrifying but if we teach them language they can be even scarier!

I’m BI I’m HOMELESS I have RADIATION POISONING and I’m NEW IN TOWN

sickly scientists who like to play god are the twinks of the horror world

how come humans don’t lick to show affection

lesbians do! 

I spat out my drink