Some stuff.

You know what it really takes to find out who runs the world? Like 5 hours of really annoying internet searches to find out who runs the private corporations which are the Republican and Democratic parties, and who gets to vote in them to decide who gets funding and what the party policies are. It's really fucking frustrating because they don't put the names all in one place, and while all the documents have to be legally available, they sure make it a pain in the ass to find them.

The last time I did this for the Democratic National Committee, it was like half an hour to figure out what document I needed, another half an hour to find the goddamn thing, about half an hour to read it and make sure I understood what the fucking saying. And at that point I had a list of 200 positions that could vote for the president of the DNC, about half a dozen of which had in connection at all to elected officials, the rest of which were appointed by other private democratic corporations. And then hunting down who those people were was a fucking hassle and a half. I didn't even look up all them I just wanted to see if I could, and yeah they're all publicly available position so you can find them, but it's a pain in the ass. It took me hours to do a few of them.

And the thing is, this is what understanding the shape of the world looks like. A bunch of really frustrating slogged through a bunch of very difficult documents. It sometimes gets a lot worse than that, there are webs of relationships and financial ties you might not be able to see with public searches. Hell if we take a less American Centric view, I knew someone who was trying to figure out what the hell the faction structure in the Chinese government looks like, and I dug up a paper for them which basically opened with, "So. The Chinese government is notoriously tight lipped about their internal factionalism and it is incredibly difficult for researchers to understand what's going on underneath the surface. But here's how we try to figure out out anyway."

Okay so it’s a given throughout the series that MOLLY is infatuated, attracted and very much in love with Sherlock. But she is an intelligent woman and soon like most of us she realises/assumes that Sherlock does not even notice her, other than her usefulness for his work. She is a strong woman and hence doesn’t keep pining for Sherlock. She attempts other relationships whether successful or unsuccessful. After the Christmas debacle, she never tries to get his attention purposely and that shows her strength of character. She has accepted the fact that he is never going to see her as anything other than Molly from the morgue, coz he never is going to right? Wrong.

My theory is that Sherlock always noticed Molly. He took her affections for granted. Maybe her super huge crush on him made him feel special even without him realising it. He notices her hair, remembers the way it’s usually parted (of course he’s Sherlock homes and he’s trying to be smooth to get his way) if she’s wearing lipstick or not, whether she has gained weight and in some way always meddling with her love life.

A noticeable change in the way sherlock looks at Molly occurs as early as the great game where Jim Moriarty poses as Molly’s boyfriend. When Molly walks alone into the lab Sherlock looks cheerful but the second Jim walks in and talks to Molly, Sherlock looks distracted. Molly looks very like she adores Jim. Now, if you watch closely it’s when Sherlock looks at Molly looking at Jim, he does a double take. He doesn’t look happy at all, looks almost jealous. And so, because of Molly, Sherlock ignores Moriarty! The great detective fails to recognise his nemesis. Why? Emotional context, obviously. When Sherlock sees Molly looking at Jim with adoration, he doesn’t like it coz that’s how she used to look at HIM. So without him actually realising it, his deductions about Jim are based on his feelings or shift in the situation between him and Molly and that’s the reason why he can see only what Jim Moriarty wants him to see, not beyond that. He’s gets his mojo back when he thinks Moriarty is gay and even thinks he is being kind to Molly when he asks her to break it off with Jim. Molly dominantes his reasoning and hence Sherlock holmes fails to see what’s right in front of his eyes.

Season 2, episode 1, ASIB. Even the dreadful Christmas scene where Sherlock is absolutely awful to Molly says something. He’s obviously not happy to see her at first. Ignores her royally up til the moment he spots the gift packed in red and deduces in his head that Molly has a new boyfriend. His interest is piqued. Why?? Why must Sherlock Holmes be so utterly interested in who Molly Hooper is dating? He is extremely curious and while continuously rambling on about his musings he picks up the gift from her bag without her permission and reads the name on the gift card. He wants to know WHO IT IS? Not just if he is correct. Well, we all know what happens after that. She gets a never seen before apology from Mr. Holmes which clearly shocks John.

Season 2, episode 3, TRF. The ‘I dont count’ scene in the lab between molly and sherlock. We learn two things here. One, Molly can see what JOHN can’t. It surprises Sherlock. It’s a huge development for the Sherlock - Molly relationship. Second, Sherlock realises for the first time how ‘Molly’ feels about their equation. When she says “I don’t count” he’s shocked (expression is priceless!!). He’s actually going to take up on her offer to eat some crips or probably have lunch with her who knows but she dismisses him doesn’t she? And he doesn’t like it one bit. His eyes follow her out of the room.

And so we get the cutest scene ever. ‘Your wrong. You do count. You’ve always counted and I’ve always trusted you’. God! It’s the first time we’ve seen Sherlock confess so much of what he’s feeling to anyone. He’s not just confessing to Molly that he actually cares about her in so many words but he also admits to her that her earlier deduction about him, that he’s not okay, was absolutely right. The unemotional Sherlock gets all the right words suddenly to say he cares, the arrogant Sherlock admits to someone else having read him better and if this was not enough he is worried about her opinion of him. “Even if you thought I’m not the man I was…. …. would you still help me?” And then … “What do you need?” He answers “you”(swoon) This was shot most definitely like a romantic scene. No smooth talking, no flirting with her to get her to do what he wants. Nothing. This was heart to heart communication. I care about you, I trust you, I need you. He said it all, didn’t he?

Season 3, TEH. Why does the only kiss that Sherlock shares with someone in the entire series have to be with Molly even if it was a dream sequence? Hmm mm I wonder.

Anyway, in Sherlock’s scheme of things it looks like after after John the one he turns to is Molly. Why does he ask Molly ‘to solve crimes’ with him? With a bit of awkwardness that too. I guess he’s basically asking her to hang out with him. He also asks her out in a sense when he asks her ‘Fancy some chips?’ Wait! Isn’t that what Molly suggested in the first place? (Have dinner?)By the way, I’m pretty sure Sherlock noticed the engagement ring way back, C'mon he’s Sherlock Holmes! But he asks her anyway.

“What was today about?” Molly asks. “Saying Thank you” Sherlock replies. Molly did what she did for Sherlock without expecting anything in return and Sherlock knows that. However what’s important to note is how easily he’s again able to tell her that ‘Moriarty slipped up. Because the one person he thought didn’t matter to me at all, was the person who mattered the most.“ He’s able to express his emotions to her, it just comes tumbling out. Somehow with her, its easier for him talk about his feelings. He truly believes that she deserves to be happy. And when he sees that she has probably got that in life, he steps back, doesn’t make his deductions even when he meets Tom. Best not to say anything! He doesn’t even insult him after the meat dagger comment, for Molly’s sake. How unlike Sherlock!

Season 3, the sign of three. I love how he goes to Molly again for drinking advice and I love how she’s able to complete his thoughts for him. Every street where you found a corpse together. Shows how well she understands him. She also the only one who understands how difficult it’s going to be for him to make the best man’s speech and anticipates the situation with the telegrams. She truly understands him and cares about him. It is so sweet! She sees him leaving early, she comprehends his state of mind. Well, she’s clearly in love with him isn’t she?

Season 3, episode 3. Molly slaps Sherlock! What a scene that was!! This was really an impressive development in her character. She’s not trying to be in his good books anymore. She cares about him deeply and is unafraid to stand up to him. It also talks a lot about their relationship. They’ve definitely become more comfortable with each other. (He uses her bedroom as a bolt hole for crying out loud! Okay more about the bolt holes later.) There’s a sense of familiarity when she slaps him, which takes every one by surprise, other than the fact that Molly Hooper just slapped Sherlock Holmes, not once but thrice.

It’s interesting to note Sherlock’s reaction though. He doesn’t stop her from slapping him, doesn’t even get angry. And though him telling her ‘I’m sorry your engagement broke though I’m fairly grateful for the lack of a ring’ seems like he’s lashing out at her, I don’t believe it. Why would Sherlock be grateful for the lack of a ring on Molly’s finger? One, Maybe he thought Tom was not good for her. So he’s happy that they are not together. Or Second he’s just happy that Tom is out of the picture now which means Molly is not in a serious relationship anymore which further means him and Molly can go back to having their previous equation, whatever that was in his complicated mind. Moral, he is ‘grateful’ that she is single again. Hmm mm

It’s important to note that in the few seconds that he thinks he’s going to die, Molly dominates his mind palace. He sees almost everything from her eyes (maybe conversations, discussions they’ve had in the past). She guides him to safety, which saves his life. He thinks of her in a life and death situation. I think it speaks volumes.

Okay so the thing with the bolt holes now. As I can remember Parliament Hill, Camden locks, Dagmar court, Blind Greenhouse at Kew gardens, leaning tomb at hamstead cemetery, behind Big Ben’s clock face, Linester gardens and MOLLY’S bedroom. What?? All his other bolt holes are places where he can be alone or where he is surrounded by unfamiliar people except Molly’s bedroom. One usually assumes that a you go to a bolt hole when you are agitated, not in your sphere. Which means Sherlock doesn’t mind being around Molly when he is in that state of mind. Maybe it even makes him feel better. And she is the only person amongst all his friends whose house he uses as a bolt hole. He takes liberties with her, uses her bedroom. A bedroom is someone’s personal space. It is filled with items that belong to someone. It’s private. Sherlock invades Molly’s personal space and privacy by using her bedroom as his bolt hole and is comfortable not just being there but apparently has no qualms having her around. He was fairly grateful for the lack of a ring, wasn’t he? He can now use her house as his bolt hole again.

Season 4: Épisode one. It’s cute how she tells him off at the christening and he at least pretends to listen to her. They are both God parents to Rosie along with Mrs H. In the lying detective, there’s this conversation between John and Sherlock.

SHERLOCK: Well, you’re a doctor. Examine me.

JOHN: No, I need a second opinion.

SHERLOCK (exasperated): Oh, John, calm down. When have you ever managed two opinions? You’d fall over.

JOHN: I need the one person who – unlike me – learned to see through your bullshit long ago.

SHERLOCK: Who’s that, then? I’m sure I would have noticed.

JOHN: The last person you’d think of. (Sherlock looks up at him silently.)

JOHN: I want you to be examined by Molly Hooper. (Sherlock looks down, biting his lip.)

JOHN: D’you hear me? I said Molly Hooper.

SHERLOCK (cringing a little): You’re really not gonna like this.

And Molly rings the doorbell. So Molly’s not the last person Sherlock thinks of is she! She may have been the first. Even though Mrs. H doesn’t feel Molly is the right person to test Sherlock, Sherlock trusts her doesn’t he? And John’s admission:

I need the one person who – unlike me – learned to see through your bullshit long ago.

That Molly understood Sherlock better than John did too. And John’s Sherlock’s best friend.

SHERLOCK: Who’s that, then? I’m sure I would have noticed.

Even now Sherlock doesn’t fully understand his feelings for Molly. Not until the final problem.

Season 4: The final problem. Well what do I say about the I love you scene. We have reached the grand finale. This scene is not about Molly saying those three words. What would be the point of that? We all know she’s in love with him. The whole point of this scene, in my opinion, was Sherlock telling Molly that he loves her and realising that IT’S TRUE. IT’S ALWAYS BEEN TRUE. Like MYCROFT says This is all about you. Everything here.

EURUS: Coffin. Problem: someone is about to die. It will be – as I understand it – a tragedy.

A tragedy! Obviously for Sherlock. The death of Molly Hooper will break him, which he most definitely is yet to realise.

EURUS: So many days not lived, so many words unsaid.

I think this is a very important statement that EURUS makes. She’s not talking about Molly. She’s talking about Sherlock. What he has not fully realised and hence obviously never said.

SHERLOCK: A child’s coffin would be more expensive. This is in the lower price range, although still best available in that bracket.

Maybe I’m wrong about this one. But I feel the above is more a description of Molly than the coffin. She is not in the beautiful, seductively sexy category. She’s different but she’s the best, in her own way.

SHERLOCK: What’s she doing? MYCROFT: She’s making tea. SHERLOCK: Yes, but why isn’t she answering her phone? JOHN : You never answer your phone. SHERLOCK (looking at the screen again): Yes, but it’s ME calling.

You know for me this was as important as the scene in which he actually says I love you. The above conversation shows us why Sherlock never realised the true depth of his feelings for Molly. In his relationship with Molly, HE was always the focul point. She’s always there for him, whenever he needs her. She cares for him, looks out for him even, places his feelings and needs above her own. Sherlock naturally assumes this unsaid right over her hence doesn’t understand how much he has come to truly rely upon her, how much he depends on her. He doesn’t really see or understand the depth of his feelings for her, not until he thinks that he is about to lose her for good.

He does everything we’ve never seen him do. He is desperate, panicked, unbalanced, uncontrolled, begs (not twice, many times), pleads, looks like he is praying. The amount on relief on Sherlock’s face when Molly says I love you is far more in comparison to John’s (Molly is John’s friend too. She’s his daughter’s godmother. Molly is literally helping him raise Rosie.)

When Sherlock says I love you the second time, it’s because he realises it’s true. There are many arguments which say that he loves her but not romantically. I disagree. He’s always known that he loves her as a friend. He says as much, across so many seasons. No, He loves her as a man loves a woman. He looks like he has just solved a great puzzle that he has always loved her. Only he sees it now. And that’s why HE LOST.

EURUS: Look what you did to her. Look what you did to yourself.

He realised his love for Molly and it destroyed him. That’s what he did to himself.

SHERLOCK: No. No.

Then he goes on his coffin destroying rampage. No. No. It can’t be true. But it is. IT’S ALWAYS BEEN TRUE.

And EURUS, intelligent, cunning, EURUS knew what Sherlock didn’t. That’s why she chose Molly and not Irene Adler. Sherlock was attracted to Irene, physically yes, mentally yes, she was the woman who beat him at his game. He is facinated even by her. But beyond that she doesn’t add any value to his life as far as I can see. She’s not his confidant but Molly Hooper is, she’s not his friend but Molly is, she doesn’t know him very well like Molly does, she’s never there for him like Molly is, sherlock doesn’t trust her like he trusts Molly. Molly he trusts, with his life. She’s the one who matters. EURUS knows this and therefore chooses her. What’s also amazing is she doesn’t finish Molly off! She wants to break all his walls, wants him to embrace his true feelings, so that he could remember who he was, who she was and save her.

It’s been there, right from the start. Little hints, clues beautifully woven into the script. Molly, the girl he never noticed, the girl whom he took for granted, the girl who became his friend, the girl he trusted, the girl who mattered the most, the girl he admired and respected and finally the girl he loved. Slow burn, at its best, subtlest. The I love you scene in the final problem was not about Molly confessing her love for Sherlock. It was infact about Sherlock confronting his love for Molly!!