Not Actually A Crab

(no money voice) I have to go skiing I have to go scuba diving I have to buy and repair a vintage bicycle I have to get into makeup art I have to become a pet owner I have to get a tattoo I have to book a flight to another island I have to treat my friends to dinner I have to bet on losing dogs

In cyclops world the teens have a trend where they play "we are young" by fun and when he says "give me a second i" they put a second eye on random celebs like cyclops shane dawson

I feel like a horse with no name is probably the best song in the world. Not even my Favorite song just the best

just met a three month old pomeranian named horchata. her paw was the size of my fingertip. she looked like half a dandelion fluff

this just got a hockey rpf tag. due to the nature of this website

other hockey rpf enjoyers now expressing skepticism and disbelief at the choice of man referenced above and tagging it with their preferred and more horchataesque men. i love it here and i'll leave when i die

listen to me. this is my final message to you. when you are at your lowest a fictional guy will come to you and when that happens you must start putting them in situations. this is the meaning of life.

something something extremely sexy when magic users resort to physical violence. yeah i have the power of god and anime on my side but i also have THESE HANDS. i cast Punch You In The Face. i take my magic staff through which i channel the vast energies of the elements and the cosmos and i cast Severe Concussion And Skull Fracture. casting time for xenoglossy too long, chose the quicker route of Stab You In The Throat.

Sometimes knowing spoilers for shows is more fun cause u get to spend the show being like how the fuck does that even end up happening ..

Where's that tweet about how American chants are "let's go [team name] and some other country (Irish?) fans are "I've made up a song about the other team's drinking problem to the tune of London Bridge Is Falling Down one two three"?

STOP REBLOGGING THIS my phone is glitching an astronomical amount and I immediately knew the culprit was one of my tumblr posts gaining traction

DONT STOP ME NOW!

vampires who volunteer at nursing homes so they can meet people their own age

#vampires who volunteer at nursing homes so they can hit on senior citizens that are way too young for them

fucking hate texting dracula i'll send him a funny meme and he'll call me to be like "i need to take a SCREAMshot on my HELL phone" like oh my god we get it youre scary