Not Actually A Crab

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can you imagine how good shows would be if writers thought of women as human beings

@/teaboot

This isn't even a joke it's just what we do

this is going around again and the tags are full of people talking about printing it out to put in their breakroom or cubicle or sending it to their coworkers, which fills me with great joy. vast diversity of professions represented also. zoos. labs. summer camps. restaurants. garden centers. libraries. schools. many reports from the brave warriors of assorted retail. a truth universally acknowledged: if there is a sign a customer will not read it <3 and they don't read emails either <3

you've met me at a very "yeah i'm trying to work on that" time in my life

i am always kidding but i am also always serious. do not underestimate me

*feverishly* fetch me images of the Character. Posthaste.

Its Nice Out So Today I Will Develop My Theory Of Playing Outside

i was feeling silly at the gas station today so i said to the cashier that i’ll take my gas “to go” and i could see her imagining what it would be like to jump over the counter and strangle me to death