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2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year

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@cptsparklefists

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psychaitrist prescribed me 2x spam musubi to treat my woes
you must
HAVE
enough
fuel units.
you must
HAVE
enough
lamborghinis.
you must
CONSTRUCT ADDITIONAL PYLONS.
for the uninitiated
*clears throat* Hey my friends, I attended a bee wedding this past weekend. I bet you would like to know how was it.
How was it?
You had two bee there
Everyone loves me for my repetitive speech, my odd noises, my constant forgetfulness, and my repetitive speech

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wheres seasons greasons
its that time of year again
It doesn’t have to be
its not optional
"kill them with kindness" FALSE! task manager🧮
there's a fascinating type of post on this site which boils down to "what if, instead of being cliché, such-and-such work of fiction instead dodged all genre tropes in a way that instead made it really boring"
"imagine an indiana jones or lara croft type who repatriates artifacts instead of taking them abroad" - kind of hamhanded and potentially white savior-y, but it is at least An Idea that meaningfully engages with the genre
"what if indiana jones was like a real archeologist and spent all his time filling out grant applications and carefully dusting off pottery sherds" - yeah I dunno man. what if he was like that. you could maybe get a five-minute SNL sketch out of it. good luck making it an interesting movie or video game though lol
I think a lot about that one post where it's like "why would a monster that subsists on fear / suffering inflict it when it could instead eat people's existing anguish, thus making them feel better"
and it's like. idk maybe because that isn't fucking scary or angsty or a particularly good allegory. and the monster is a Character or Plot Device, not a real fucking guy.
people are likening the last one to the plot of Monsters Inc. so I feel obligated to point some things out:
the "fear vs laughter" premise of monsters inc is part of a broader allegory about corporate greed at the expense of the health and well-being of the world at large. in particular, it's roughly analogous to the world's continued reliance on fossil fuels, which is due in part to fearmongering about nuclear power and wind farms.
a key element of the plot is that it's not just a matter of "the main characters don't want to subsist on fear, they want to be Niceys." the plot and characterization rely on sully and ESPECIALLY mike buying into the corporate line on human children, and thus going from "terrified" to "confused and intrigued" when it becomes apparent that human children are not actually dangerous
the result of all this is that "laugh power is just as feasible, and in fact more efficient" develops the themes and characters rather than shutting them down. if the premise of the movie were simply that sully and mike are Niceys to begin with, you lose the allegory, you have to rewrite the plot from scratch, and the characters - imo - become considerably less interesting, because you're robbing them of the tension between "maybe what I'm doing is wrong" and "I would like to have Money to Eat, not cause a mass panic, and not get thrown in jail or killed or written off as a crank"
attitude is a major element here. monsters inc isn't out here implying that the concept of monsters engendering fear/pain in order to harvest it is stupid. undertale isn't a game where "you're in a dungeon but everyone is friendly;" a pacifist run is a conscious decision that you make with people firing bullets at you. this one's a Twitter example, but - something like lovely lady rpg or clam man 2 isn't starting from the absurd premise that harry dubois and the setting he's in are Generic and therefore Uninteresting, only to tear them out and replace them with nothing of substance.
lastly, and imo this is key:
a short tumblr post is ill-suited for exploring ideas in any real detail, which tends to make it more annoying, not less.
more specifically: these posts rarely dive into the actual narrative implications of anything they're proposing, instead favoring vague gestures at pithy but underdeveloped ideas. there's a difference between saying "what if Indiana Jones didn't go on adventures lol" and "what if a normal, realistic archaeologist still got drawn into a pulp adventure and had to get by in spite of being terrified and under-equipped to deal with the situation." the latter would be A Story that engages with the genre, not just a cheap gag.
in conclusion:

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people don't even celebrate frabjous days anymore. due to jabberwoke
daddydom ASMR but 5 seconds in he gets attacked by a cackling witch
i’m sorry but what the actual fuck
a cackling witch
"Funny you should say that, Mr. Frog, but those coffee grounds we found at the murder... Well, they were Wilkins Coffee. Now see, the thing that bothers me, is that the victim... Well, he didn't drink Wilkins."
[赤井さしみ]

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having chronic pain is just like. ur sitting perfectly still doing nothing meanwhile the space above your head keeps flashing -1hp -1hp -1hp -1hp -1hp -1hp -1hp -1hp -1hp -1hp
My friend called me to invite me to a movie. It sounded fun so they said "Meet me at the theater in two and a half hours" but I misheard it as "tuna half hours" so imagine my surprise when I get there 3 minutes later (half an hour in tuna years) and my friend doesn't show. Obviously we aren't friends anymore because you should always assume the worst in the event of a miscommunication, as cartoons have routinely taught me.