The Emperor Protects

Honestly if you say or do something strange, an employee probably WILL tell all their coworkers about it all day, however they’ll basically never remember it was you specifically and instead just a faceless “customer” amalgamation of every time someone said something to them. Plus you’re giving them enrichment and something to mutually bond over. So really you’re doing an important service by being a little awkward.

Trace amounts of Monica in my life

A statistically insignificant level of Monica in my life

My life manufactured in a facility that also processes Monica

dont store a knife with the point facing down, it damages the blade. no, dont do that either. when you store it with the point facing up you might accidentally hurt yourself when you try to grab it. dont store a knife at all actually. your blade must never leave your hand, always ready, ruthless and waiting. you know deep down that ever since you learned the stench of blood you will never be able to cast it aside. or just get a sheath for it i guess.

Booty shorts slogan

i'm like a fujoshi but for dead people

I still don’t get why people try to convince me that driving is less complicated than navigating a public transit system. With public transit I’m not doing most of the work.

What if instead of relaxing and just getting off the vehicle when it beeps at the right stop you got stuck in traffic and had to concentrate constantly on what you’re doing or else you kill somebody and started screaming at other people for not using their giant death machines correctly wouldn’t that be so much better