The Emperor Protects

the tension between the genuine cleverness of the joke and the incompetence implied by putting it on two-sentence horror is what makes this for me

not many people know this but when talking about your multiple pronoun-using friend you build up a combo meter for every subsequent unique pronoun you use

when you get crazy enough about The Character you'd think the situations you imagine them in would get more elaborate and lore intensive. but no. imagining my wizard pacing around huffily being slightly peeved at a mild inconvenience. I don’t even know what the inconvenience IS. and it's giving me enough joy to power a city for a month

you’re allowed to be a boy btw. You’re allowed to be a girl. You’re allowed to be both or neither or something else entirely. You’re allowed.

Remember in 2010 when Taio Cruz said "I throw my hands up in the air sometimes"? I appreciated his restraint. You can't just throw your hands up in the air whenever. There's a time and a place, and that time was 2010, and the place was the club.

We’re gonna have an orgasm denial party and no, you can’t come.