The Emperor Protects @coyote-prophet - Tumblr Blog

Defensejob from a girl with tiny garrisons

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strangestcase

This is UNTRUE!!!! If you’re new to Catholicism you HAVE to listen to MEEEEEEEEE. Here’s my advice:

Leave

chaumas-deactivated20240115

my lord, come hither, for I have information for you…

my network of child urchin spies has informed me that there was a big blue bird and it could talk and it was a princess and it came and took one hundred bread loaves up to its crystal house made of pink and blue crystals and when the baker tried to arrest it it ate him and then it started raining and the dog with three legs bit a guy and when he screamed he farted.

I just thought you should know.

chaumas-deactivated20240115

my lord, whispers of insurrection have reached me via my network of child urchin spies… they say that little timmy the butcher’s boy was heard singing a mean song about you to his friends… rhyming your name with several rude words I’m told he only learned recently. worry not, my lord; I’ve already had him and his conspirators ‘disappeared’ and have interrogated them personally. little timmy says he knows at least six other words that rhyme with your name that he was planning to incorporate into further stanzas.

veltroxx

sometimes the weight of the world feels too much to carry alone

chaumas-deactivated20240115

yes my lord… it must be terribly lonely… to be so singular in your radiance and power… to be isolated by your own magnificence… no one but your enormous retinue of lowly servants at your eternal beck and call to turn to…

but perhaps I have some news that will interest you. my whisper network of urchin child spies reports rumors of a lovely young princess, so beautiful that it’s a curse, with purple eyes and long black hair down to her knees with natural purple streaks in it… they say she can talk to wolves and even turn into a mermaid… a worthy bride such a one would make! with a queen like that at your side, you would be a living legend.

shall I send your fastest horsemen to seek her out?

akindaboringp3rson

Why did I read this in the tone of Grima Wormtongue?

chaumas-deactivated20240115

I can think of no reason, my lord…

oneheadtoanother

night-the-starfish

Hunter and prey, markers on paper.

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sandmandaddy69

rubyvroom

Yeah, it's time to get this post out again

desinteresse

My boss was like “Do you have any idea how much money we’re losing” like who cares, it’s not like they would give it to me otherwise

desinteresse

Have our investors tried making coffee at home and not eating out so much?

isuggestforcemasc

I will continue posting in favour of there being fewer people like that

godfrey-the-chaos-duck

god my heart is fucking breaking for all these people THERE IS STILL TIME DO YOU HEAR ME

IT ISN'T TOO LATE AS LONG AS YOU'RE ALIVE

boyslit

hi everybody i started HRT at 35 so like don't even despair

being in ur twenties makes u feel like 30 is a brick wall u either fly over or crash into but i promise u it's a door and it opens up into the rest of ur life like getting past the prologue of an open world game

boyslit

very important addition from @thatsladyfaggottoyou ty <3

doberbutts

I started HRT at approximately 30 and top surgery at 32 just 4.5 months prior to this photo. It's never too late.

esoanem

fuckyeahchinesefashion

OP: How to create floating Chinese shufa/calligraphy (cr夏末）

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meangirlnurse

someone on reddit was like “my dog rescue gets desirable purebred dogs in all the time! yorkies, dachshunds, french bulldogs, you name it!”

and i was like. did you rescue them or did you buy them from puppy mills

unpopular comment. downvoted immediately.

person came back and was like “we don’t buy them from puppy mills, we just get funds together to buy them from the Amish at auctions”

🌝

darkwingatlarge

Holy shit. I had no idea rescues did this. They just make more on adoption fees than it costs to buy and feed the dogs??

meangirlnurse

https://www.washingtonpost.com/graphics/2018/investigations/dog-auction-rescue-groups-donations/

iirc this was a good writeup on it. similar situation with "asian meat market rescues" (though that one comes with a side of racism, too)

demilypyro

what did he mean by this

What’s not clicking.

fibsh

He works at greggs

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pomgore

i love learning about animals ive literally never seen or heard of before. what amazing diversity of life on this planet earth. what the hell is a japanese serow

pomgore

goat dog

iravaid

"You're three for three, now, yes? A shame."

1982: Diomid Khanzhonkov goading Prince Odette into frenzy with knowledge of the three loved ones she'd failed

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