welcome to the halls of the lilac king

12-2am lasts 15 minutes if you aren't careful

Fun fact. Nothing can stop you from finding the oldest art your friend has ever made on their blog and reblogging it.

Instead of going to work tomorrow why don’t we all just dig a really deep hole

I took your skull off display because my guests kept saying it looked noticeably gayer than the other skulls

Your father use to roleplay as a tape worm for my pleqsure

hope he did a good job at least. Didn't embarrass the whole family.

He strutted his shit kinda

you can't kill yourself girl i already bought us tickets to do everything ever

Tumblr is the reason why I have something I call the cashier test which is, if i told this to a random cashier at the grocery store, would they think you're crazy at best or at worst would they be warranted in leaping over the counter and beating the shit out of you. Karl Marx mpreg is crazy, but not beating the shit out of you crazy. The cashier will probably talk about you to their coworkers and it might even make their day. Telling someone they're complicit in their own oppression by working a minimum wage job at a grocery store makes them warranted in leaping over the counter to beat the shit out of you.

If you ever feel like a loser just remember there are people who are genuinely emotionally invested in the lives of the british royal family

im sorry but the idea that society "allows" women to express their feelings is ridiculous. which society do yall live in

are women encouraged to be sad? to grieve? to be angry? to be bitter? to be petty? are they encouraged to be emotional, or are they expected to be emotional and then called irrational hormonal bitches for it?

worry not my lord, allow me to unscrew that jar for you. i would not want for you to strain your hand or break a nail. alright. hmm. HMMMM. HNNNGRGHHHHHH. HNNGGHHHH HRRRRRGHHH. AAAAAARGHHHHHHH fucking. squire fetch me my grippy gloves