Hidden Truths & Emotions

I really want a baby really bad, to the point when i see a baby that has been born or a pregnany accouncement, i get jealous, and not in a bad way. I dont mean any ill will, the babies are just so cute and cuddly and i want one to myself. I do understand that having a baby isnt just about it being cute, i know it means 1) labor that is probably the worst pain on earth, 2) sleepless nights, 3) huuuuge responsibility, 4) no longer being selfish, 5) i wont be able to just get up and go buuuut i know its worth it when i have created life and this little person is mine to take care of and love forever. Oooooh and that unconditional love thats mutual and that i would die for, something thats beyond my understanding, thats what i crave. A mother’s love ❤️ like whats more powerful than that.

The other day i was thinking and remembered that in middle school i had a huuuuuuge crush on this kid but he didnt like me at all, like AT ALL but i mean we were friends ( he didnt care if we were lol) anyways he liked this girl and she was my friend too right, we were cool cuz we had done a group project together. So yea i saw them one hugging after school, my 12 yo self was not having it, so one day at lunch she started telling me and my group of friends that he liked her and she didnt know if she wanted to go out with him or not. Of course i saw my chance and i took it, i told her that he was ugly and how was she going to go out with him cuz he was ugly and very afemininated. Lmaoooo and she didnt go out with him!!! Guessed she liked someone else better🤷🏻‍♀️ i just think its really funny! I was an ass for that but in my mind he was mine and we were gonna get married. Lol (that was never gonna happen) but yea i kinda feel bad sometimes but then again everything is fair in love and war.