cosmosOgler

And it's that thing where you mentally place yourself as the second, auxiliary party to someone else that you consider to be "In Charge" of whatever space or occupation or responsibility you are assigned to

And when you are IN that mindset, it *feels* like you're being responsible. It *feels* like you're being respectful, and helpful, and contributing to the load.

But what you don't SEE- because it *feels* like deference- is that the other person who you're seeing as The Authority you report to- by being assigned that role, has also been assigned the invisible load of BEING YOUR MANAGER.

This is by FAR most commonly seen in husband-and-wife relationships, where the man says, "just tell me what I can do to HELP- you don't have to do it all by yourself, but it's like you won't even tell me when you NEED help. You just do everything and then get mad at me for not doing it first. I can help clean. I can help with the kids. I can help"

But I also see it- and am guilty myself of doing it- at work, at school, in public- that mental, "this is THEIR space, and i will be respectful and helpful to THEM"- without realizing that subservience in this manner isn't actually a good thing. That it actually shifts the burden of responsibility to the other person. That aspect was totally invisible to me.

I didn't understand that when I was told, "if you see something that needs to be done, just DO it", or, "take the initiative", what they ACTUALLY meant was, "I am not above you", or "you have equal say in what kind of environment you want to live or work in", or "I do not want full control over what happens here, I do not want to order you around, I do not want to be in charge, what I WANT is to co-command WITH you"

Being in The Assigned Authority position NOW, that is all so much clearer.

I am the senior member of my team at work, and now, every time I train a newbie, every time I finish catching them up to speed and giving them a list of everything that needs to be done, my next big hurdle seems to always be, "now take pride in the space when I'm not around". "Now don't assume I'll tell you when something is due or what orders to plan things in".

Now, having been on both sides of the struggle, I can appreciate the sticking points here

TO THE PERSON "IN CHARGE": The person deferring to you doesn't understand the invisible labor you're doing. They genuinely believe you know more, you WANT more, you see things they don't, and that they are being respectful and good by staying out of your way and waiting on your orders. THAT is the bit that's not clicking.

TO THE PERSON "WANTING TO HELP": "Help" implies that you are providing assistance to a problem that belongs to somebody else. Stop thinking like that. Understand that the problem belongs to BOTH of you equally, and consider what kind of shared space you BOTH want. What is your SHARED GOAL? Not THEIR goal, but a goal that belongs to you too. Own your space.

This is not a Commander-Lieutenant problem. This is a Partnership problem.

A couple of silly frogs

say nice shit about their art. fangirl about it, compliment the art fundamentals or the vibe or the color whatever. share their posts online

it used to be so easy to create an art community online in the past and now it's hellish. fight the algorithms. spam your friends art. they will either rlly appreciate the attention or straight up need it.

theres something slightly heartbreaking about the thought that the people around you don't care about your creations. by all means, you should create art for yourself but also, sometimes that art is a direct window into your inner world and when friends and loved ones ignore that it can sting pretty bad

"Just tell them we're Animorphs." "Tell them we're what?" "Idiot teenagers with a death wish."

THE ANIMORPHS30 ZINE IS HERE!!!

(And thanks to @gros-chat-fait for this beautiful cover art!!)

To celebrate the 30th anniversary of the series, creators of the fanbase have come together to bring you a zine of nearly 200+ pages (at which point I'm not even sure we can call it a zine anymore! The correct term at this point would be anthology!), filled with art and writing.

You can download it as a PDF here, or if you just want to view it without downloading, it's available on Canva here.

Currently I'm still working on options for getting a printed release, but self-printing is still an option! Stay tuned—there should be a self-print mirror available shortly (I'll just need to change some links to QR codes, among other things).

Outer Wilds OC Orchestra - An ensemble emerges

"This song is new to me, but I am honored to be a part of it."

Closing Notes & Event Museum

Shout out to everyone who participated in the Resonant Echoes Remix this summer! And to everyone else, thanks for tuning in. We hope you had as much fun as we did with this event! The Mod Team loved all the creative ideas you started us off with as well as your super creative takes on each others original works!

We had 27 participants for this event resulting in 54 total works!

Links to each work can be found below the cut.

Stay tuned for more information on our next event later in the fall! We're once again, trying something new. If you're having as much fun as we are be sure to encourage your friends to tune in next time too!