༝ ⠀ ❦ 𝐠𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐞 !

did not eat

new hyperfixation and no time for it

have not done a creative in 24 hrs

Bad Sounds

clothes are touching my body

cold

people

one (1) comment is stuck in my brain like a popcorn kernel

last time I drank water was ??????

nervous nervous nervous nervous

got a Slightly Worse grade than expected

last hug was ??????

slept a full 45 minutes

lonely ............

guts are shredding (again)

have not seen sunlight in 24 hrs

stuck inside

too much screen time

Yay Overwhelm

room is disaster area

have not talked to Person in a while

bored

imposter phenomenon (again)

no current routine

how long have I been working???

Too Much Socialization

and then. and THEN. I may consider:

did not eat

go eat something, if no energy/executive ability/else eat ingredients. no need to make a full meal, any food is good

new hyperfixation and no time for it

rotate concepts/blorbos in head. prime yourself for excitement once you're able to engage with hyperfixation

have not done a creative in 24 hrs

go do a creative. any kind, no matter how small or unrefined, is gonna feel wonderful

Bad Sounds

headphones, find somewhere quiet or replace with good sounds (I play brown noise in supermarkets to not get overwhelmed)

clothes are touching my body

if at home - change into sensorily safe clothes, if outside with no means of change - try to find a different sensory element to focus on. I stim with my neckless to distract my brain with a fun sound and well known texture. alternatively: find a not busy toilet stall and just take off an article of clothing for a few minutes.

cold

safety blanket, hoodies, tea with spices, hot shower, hot water bottle/compress

people

find a quiet place. if an excuse is necessary, say you have a very important phone call (i generally say a medical appointment), it should buy you 10 mins of relative peace.

one (1) comment is stuck in my brain like a popcorn kernel

people often lash out due to insecurity, misplaced emotions, and no coping skills. they can also be callous and unfair without realising it. none of those reasons involve you, therefore, shouldn't matter much. try and pick that kernel out with positive feedback and constructive criticism that can help you grow.

last time I drank water was ??????

go drink water, but if you can't, any beverage other than alcohol and seawater will do. all drinks have water in them and will help hydrate you.

nervous nervous nervous nervous

tense your whole body as much as you can for a bit and then relax. this tip very much works, i use it whenever i find myself chased by the very slow tigers.

got a Slightly Worse grade than expected

is this grade gonna have a permanent impact on your life? 99/100 no. Sometimes we mess up and that's alright. your worth as a person isn't based on your gpa.

last hug was ??????

go hug someone. if there's no one available to hug, hug yourself. pet your own head, draw patterns on your arms, put your hands on the opposite sides of your face. the feeling is close enough to help you in the moment.

slept a full 45 minutes

sleep. its the most important of step of actually feeling better. if you can't sleep, even laying with eyes closed with reduced stimulation is very beneficial to your brain.

lonely ............

talk to people. best in real life but if that's not doable in the moment, text people. if thats also not an option, i genuinely suggest getting on voice chats on discord.

guts are shredding (again)

meds as advised by a medical practitioner, make sure you drank enough water and that you ate enough food. Chicken soup is easy to make and a polish grandma's classic for an upset stomach.

have not seen sunlight in 24 hrs

go outside for a short walk. try and find a cool leaf/rock/trinket. sit on an outside bench and play a game on your phone. if too little energy for that, sit in the sunniest place in your home, or sit just outside your home.

stuck inside

sadly I can't help much with that. focus on the thought that you'll be out at some point.

too much screen time

try to read a book, try some arts and crafts, put on music and look for a non-virtual activity. write down a recipe on paper and cook something for later.

Yay Overwhelm

stim stim stim stim. channel the energy to settle it down

room is disaster area

start with the bed. have it be your safe break spot. then deal with dirty dishes. then take out any waste. then put the laundry in a place you designated for it. just by giving yourself a safe sleeping environment and getting rid of any bio hazards, you improved your situation by a mile. take as many breaks as you feel like, while in the moment the task may seem completely overwhelming, you are completely capable of doing this. break down your tasks to the smallest steps and you'll be fine.

have not talked to Person in a while

talk to Person. they probably want to talk to you too

bored

go on a wikipedia deep dive. watch a documentary about a subject you're unfamiliar with. when was the last time you tried writing a limerick? all brains require adequate stimulation, especially adhd brains. approach a new subject with trained curiosity.

imposter phenomenon (again)

while it may feel like sometimes we're not skilled enough to be in a certain space, other people are not that dumb. if you weren't supposed to be there, you wouldn't be. if you're the least skilled in a field, then you're surrounded by people from whom you can learn. if thoughts are too stubborn for that strategy, switch it over into glee that you managed to trick everyone even though youre unqualified. check you out, you mastermind of social engineering! if that also doesn't work, think about how often people get into a position that they very much aren't qualified for. one more person isn't going to collapse society.

no current routine

create a micro routine! go somewhere at regular times. designate a time for meeting people/hobbies/activities. go through motions as if you had a typical routine.

how long have I been working???

stand up, go get some water and a snack, stretch: back, neck, wrists. look at something far away for a minute to reduce eye strain. if after bedtime - work can wait. i know it can be tempting to keep working while the motivation is there but by exhausting yourself you're gonna make your executive dysfunction worse. most of the time its a marathon, not a sprint.

Too Much Socialization

take time to decompress. change plans if necessary. Too Much Socialization is an issue even neurotypicals experience. its perfectly normal.

- haven’t taken a shower in a while/ feel yucky and gross in general

Take a shower. Doesn’t have to be a long, fancy, or intense shower; it can be as simple and quick as you need it to be.

Ask yourself what is the bare minimum you have to do to feel clean?

Whatever your answer is – do that.

Usually (at least for myself) I end up doing my regular routine in the shower because once I’m in the shower it’s harder not to go through the majority of my cleaning routine. 

If a full shower is just too much for you - washing your face can also help (soap and water will be perfectly fine, serious soap and water won’t hurt you face) or wiping down your body and face with wipes or a damp towel.

Using dry shampoo (if that works for you hair type) and brushing your hair can also help in feeling cleaner.

Put on a clean change of clothes after washing yourself up. 

Also brushing your teeth can be a huge help in feeling less yucky.

I have regular toothpaste but I personally find Bite Toothpaste (which has a less minty flavor than my regular toothpaste) to be very helpful in this case. For me, it feels like less of a commitment or as big of a task when I use it. It just feels like the easier or “lazier” way to do, which allows me to do it. 

Also I can eat and drink something afterwards without that gross minty flavor, which again feels like less of a commitment to me - as I don’t have to plan to not eat or drink 30 min to 1 hour after brushing my teeth. 

Or just wet a toothbrush and brush your teeth like that.

- Haven’t been productive and feel bad about it

I would suggest setting up a small, simple physical task that you can easily do; like picking something off the ground and throwing it out, rearranging something, moving something back to its proper place, cleaning off a physical “counter” space or sweeping/dust busting a specific area in your room.

These are just suggestions, as you know yourself far better than I know you. 

The main point is setting a small and easy task that you CAN finish and than doing that. Big goals and ambitions are not important here and in fact more likely to be counterproductive.

The point is to make yourself feel better; completely a task will accomplish that and not finishing a task or being overwhelmed by a big goal, won’t make you feel better.

In fact, it’ll likely make you feel worse and then you’ll be even less motivated.

Start out easy and if that’s all you did – GREAT!! You did it!

If you end up doing more - GREAT!!! You should feel super proud of yourself!

Usually, at least in my personal experience, it’s easier to keep going once you start, especially in comparison to finding the motivation to start in the first place. 

Also, it doesn’t have to be a physical task – I just find a physical task makes me feel the most accomplished; but do whatever works for you.

You can set a goal of reading for 5 min/pages or writing for 5 min or whatever else you can think of.

Unreachable Interior #573937

❝  don’t be ridiculous,  there’s enough room on this bed for both of us. ❞ 

❝  please stay.  i don’t think i can be alone tonight.  ❞

❝  i’m staying,  okay?  you don’t have to be alone tonight. ❞

❝  you shouldn’t be alone right now.  i’ll take the couch,  it’ll be fine.  ❞

❝  will you sleep with me?  i know how that sounds i just mean—  i feel safe when you’re there.  ❞

❝  i’ll be here the whole night okay?  nothing will get to you while i’m here.  ❞

❝  wait— have you been here all night?  ❞

❝  i thought you went home after i went to bed.  you didn’t have to do that— you could’ve at least joined me in bed that couch is shit for sleeping on.  ❞

❝  can i stay with you tonight?  i don’t wanna go home yet.  ❞

❝  it’s late,  you might as well just stay here.  ❞

❝  can you just…stay here?  and hold me.  ❞

❝  i know this might sound weird but,  do you wanna stay over?  i guess ‘sleepover’ sounds kind of childish but.  i think it’d be nice.  ❞

❝  i’m not expecting anything,  i just,  thought it’d be nice to keep you company tonight. ❞

❝  i don’t have nightmares when you’re there.  ❞

❝  i get you’re doing the whole protective thing— and i appreciate it.  i do,  but there’s no reason for you to stay awake all night.  might as well come to bed.  ❞

❝  thank you for staying.  it just gets so lonely at night sometimes.  ❞

❝  i don’t want you to be alone tonight and honestly,  i don’t really wanna be alone either.  ❞

❝  do you wanna stay with me tonight?  ❞

❝  stay,  please.  ❞

❝  i’ll stay.  ❞

❝  i’m staying.  ❞

❝  i’m staying.  end of discussion.  you gotta learn to let people take care of you.  ❞

❝  i’m not ready to say goodbye yet.  ❞

❝  i don’t wanna have to say goodnight.  ❞

❝  honestly i can’t sleep,  so if you wanna stay up with me?  ❞

❝  i don’t sleep a lot either these days.  we can be insomniacs together.  ❞

❝  well,  i can think of some ways to wear you out.  ❞

❝  if you can’t sleep,  there are other things we could do.  ❞

❝  i’d rather fuck than stare at the ceiling counting sheep to be honest.  ❞

❝  it doesn’t have to mean anything,  i just don’t wanna feel lonely tonight.  and i want to feel good for once.  ❞

❝  please don’t go—  i need.  i need someone—  i need you.  ❞

❝  the night doesn’t have to end here,  you know.  ❞

❝  i like it when you’re here.  so stay.  please?  ❞

❝  you’re just as lonely as i am.  might as well be lonely together.  ❞

❝  you can stay but i’m not letting you sleep on that couch.  ❞

❝  chivalry is overrated,  get in my bed.  ❞

❝  you’re clearly exhausted.  you can go in the morning.  ❞

❝  you don’t have to pretend to be fine,  if you need me to stay i will.  ❞

❝  when i said i wanted everyone to leave me alone i didn’t mean you.  i can’t handle everyone else right now but you…you’re different.  ❞

❝  you need someone right now.  and i’m the one that’s here.  let me be what you need.  ❞

SCENARIOS

[ GUARDED ]  sender insists on staying the night to keep watch over receiver who has been in some kind of danger. 

[ GUARDING ]  receiver insists on staying the night to keep watch over sender who has been in some kind of danger. 

[ UNEXPECTED ]  one muse stays the night to keep an eye on the other after something traumatic and they end up having comfort sex.

[ CONSOLE ]  sender asks receiver to stay the night because they don’t want to be alone and they end up cuddling.  

[ CONSOLED ]  receiver asks sender to stay the night because they don’t want to be alone and they end up cuddling. 

[ ACCIDENT ]  sender winds up staying at receiver’s house all night because receiver fell asleep against them/in their lap and they didn’t have the heart to wake them. 

[ UNPLANNED ]  receiver winds up staying at sender’s house all night because sender fell asleep against them/in their lap and they didn’t have the heart to wake them. 

[ STAY ]  sender is carrying receiver to bed because they fell asleep somewhere else but when they start to walk away,  receiver grabs their hand so sender joins them in bed. 

[ STAYING ]  receiver is carrying sender to bed because they fell asleep somewhere else but when they start to walk away,  sender grabs their hand so receiver joins them in bed. 

[ APPROACHED ]  sender is staying with receiver for safety and asks if they can sleep in their bed with them. 

[ APPROACH ]  receiver is staying with sender for safety and asks if they can sleep in their bed with them. 

[ SHARE ]  sender is unexpectedly staying with receiver overnight,  receiver insisted sender sleep on the bed while they take the floor but sender winds up insisting they join them in bed. 

[ SHARED ]  receiver is unexpectedly staying with sender overnight,  sender insisted receiver sleep on the bed while they take the floor but receiver winds up insisting they join them in bed. 

[ FOUND ]  sender is staying with receiver who had them take the bed while receiver takes the couch.  in the middle of the night,  sender goes out to join receiver on the couch because they don’t want to sleep alone. 

[ FIND ]  receiver is staying with sender who had them take the bed while sender takes the couch.  in the middle of the night,  receiver goes out to join sender on the couch because they don’t want to sleep alone. 

[ DISCOVERED ]  receiver wakes up in the morning to find sender asleep on their couch because sender was watching over them. 

[ HAVEN ]  receiver wakes up in the morning to find sender asleep on their couch because sender felt safer with them. 

[ WEARY ]  sender cries themselves to sleep in receiver’s arms. 

[ TIRED ]  receiver cries themselves to sleep in sender’s arms. 

[ PROPOSITION ]  one or both muse(s) are having trouble sleeping so they have sex to pass the time. 

[ PURPOSE ]  one muse can’t sleep so the other initiates sex to wear them out. 

[ TRAPPED ]  one muse ends up staying the night with the other due to a storm. 

I’ve been seeing lots of edits and more importantly gifs floating around recently that aren’t ‘correctly’ sized, and I’m not doing this to be all ACKCHYUALLY!!! but because I think that some people might just not know.

Tumblr automatically resizes edits/gifs if they don’t have the proper width that tumblr displays them as (height doesn’t matter, go wild), meaning it stretches or shrinks them, resulting in quality loss unless you actually click on them. I know how much work editing can be and how much time it takes, and I think it’s a shame to lose the end result somewhat due to an easily fixable mistake, so here you go:

Please note that for gifsets that have two or three gifs next to each other, those gifs must have the exact same dimensions;

i.e. for two gifs next to each other, you make your gif 268px (width) x 300px (height), then the one you put right next to it in your set also has to be 268px x 300px

or for three gifs next to each other 177px (width) x 200px (height) 178px x 200px (this is the gif in the middle) 177px x 200px

(height for these are just examples, remember that only width matters in terms of how tumblr displays something)

i don’t support that at all.

so basically, if you don’t mind that your partner may drop threads or not reply/maybe forget to reply to a starter, please reblog this? its so unhealthy for someone like myself who gets afraid to drop threads on the chance that my partners may think i don’t want to write with them, or worse BECAUSE i dropped it they won’t want to write with me.