get ur inspo here

my brother recently died due to driving into a pond during a medical emergency. the path his car took veering off an access road and into that park was a one in a million shot. somehow his car missed all obstacles and ended up in that damn pond. my sister and i went to see it a few days after and it was oddly peaceful. a beautiful park full of ducks trailed by their ducklings, green trees and laughing children, lovers spread out on picnic blankets sharing wine and crackers and surrounded by all the scents that summer brings. it was a normal park on a normal day. i took several pictures and painted the piece above. the thing is there is nothing creepy or haunting about that pond. i put the grief my shocked and dissociated brain won't allow me to feel into that image. i visualized what no one will ever see when they go to take their family for a walk around their local pond. that's kinda how grief works though isn't it? the world keeps spinning, the broken fence will be mended, the tire tracks will fade, ducks will keep mating and lovers will keep picnicking and the ghost of the dead will more likely be following the family they had to leave behind, watching over them, guiding them from the other side, rather than haunting a place that will only ever just be a normal place. a normal park on a normal day.

im sure if i move far away from home to somewhere no one knows me my whole personality will suddenly change and everyone will love me and everything will be better im sure im sure im sure