你好 你好 bitches

oh my goodness, one of dian fossey’s first close up observations with gorillas happened when she was trying to climb a tree to see them better, but so badly that by the time she’d gotten up the entire group had come out of hiding to look at her: “Nearly all members of the group had totally exposed themselves, forgetting about hiding coyly behind foliage screens because it was obvious to them that the observer had been distracted by tree-climbing problems, an activity they could understand.”

hello, fellow apes

[Image transcript: porch. The group had been day-nesting and sunbathing when I contacted them, but upon my approach they nervously retreated to obscure themselves behind thick foliage. Frustrated but determined to see them better, I decided to climb a tree, not one of my better talents. The tree was particularly slithery and, try as I might, no amount of puffing, pulling, gripping, or clawing succeeded in getting me more than a few feet aboveground. Disgustedly, I was about to give up when Sanwekwe came to my aid by giving one mighty boost to my protruding rump; tears were running from his eyes as he was convulsed in silent laughter. I felt as inept as a baby taking its first step. Finally able to grab on to a conveniently placed branch, I hauled myself up into a respectful semislouch position in the tree about twenty feet from the ground. By this time I naturally assumed that the combined noises of panting, cursing, and branch-breaking made during the initial climbing attempts must have frightened the group on to the next mountain. I was amazed to look around and find that the entire group had returned and were sitting like front row spectators at a sideshow. All that was needed to make the image complete were a few gorilla-sized bags of popcorn and some cotton candy! This was the first live audience I had ever had in my life and certainly the least expected.]

imagine some freakish not-a-human alien THING has shown up out of nowhere and is trying to get into your office building to study you. but it has no idea how to get past a revolving door. it tries for three hours. by the time it finally understands the concept of a revolving door and squeeze into the building everyone in the office is crowded into the lobby to watch and call helpful suggestions. it’s conclusively determined that the alien is definitely not a threat, except maybe to itself.

being a student right now is so fucking terrible is anyone coping

now all the things you guys have told me about american high schools are starting to make sense

Last time this came around I showed my three year old and he said "He's little like me!" and stared for a whole minute (v. Long in toddler time).

Your toddler was the Little Art Connoiseur

Listen, I completely understand why it was an issue for some people, but I still think that naming the original release of Deltarune “SURVEY_PROGRAM.exe” was really really funny

also when you opened it you had to agree to the end user license agreement, which just said "YOU WILL ACCEPT EVERYTHING THAT HAPPENS FROM NOW ON." and when people on twitter told him their antivirus was flagging it as a threat, he posted a "fix" that was just a screenshot of the windows defender popup with the "run anyway" button circled

#it's like taking candy from an unmarked white van#and the candy is wrapped in tinfoil and printer paper and the ingredients list just says ''dude trust me''#but you know that guy is a chocolatier and made the best damn truffles you ever tasted so you take the free van candy anyway#and it turns out that it is pretty good candy that this guy was just giving out for free (from yardsards)

yeah pretty much