Massive Nerd Alert

To do this you need:

quilting cotton fabric, any pattern you like. Nothing too heavyweight!

heat and bond iron-on interfacing (link is amazon; your local fabric retailers should have it. Buy local if you can!)

an iron and ironing board

a computer, with access to www.photopea.com or an image editor of your choosing.

a cricut or other cutting machine that works with sticky mats to feed material.

A roll of vinyl transfer tape--you can do this project without it, but it will be easier with.

To begin, make your design in your image editor. You want large, single color, relatively simple shapes on a transparent background. I have a 12x24 cutting mat, so I made my image 11.5x23.5. Export it as a PNG, and then upload it into design space or whatever application runs your cricut or cutting machine.

Prepare your fabric by cutting it to the size of your mat. For me, that's rectangles of 12x24 material. Also cut the same size out of heat-and-bond. DO NOT REMOVE THE BACKING PAPER FROM THE HEAT AND BOND. Once you've got rectangles of fabric and rectangles of heat and bond, attach the heat and bond to the fabric with an iron.

Prepare your sticky mat by attaching a layer of vinyl transfer tape face-down, so the sticky side is up when you remove the backing paper. This will prevent the fabric from leaving lint all over the mat, and the backing paper for heat and bond is very prone to tearing--without the transfer paper, you'll be cleaning your mats a lot between every cutting.

Stick the heat and bonded fabric face-up on the mat, so the paper backing of the heat and bond is adhered to the transfer tape. Smooth out to remove bubbles. And then load the mat into your cricut! I've got an explore air 2 (several years old now) and I used my normal blade at its deepest cut settings, and fire away. (Designs do not need to be mirrored.) Before removing your finished cut from the sheet, double check that the blade has gone all the way through and you will not need a second pass-I never did, but check just in case!

Peel everything off the mat, discarding the paper backing/transfer paper layers, then iron your fabric designs onto your bunting! If you want things to be really durable, you can sew the edges down like a normal applique, but for bunting, I didn't feel it was necessary.

the strangest fandom hobby is plotty fanfiction, the kind that requires research, because engaging in this hobby makes no goddamned sense.

it doesn’t even give anybody masturbation material, which is at least a logical and admirable goal that contributes to the betterment of society, or at least society’s solitary orgasms.

Highlights include:

For your first two years (when you were small) you lived in a foster home with people who raised you into a very polite young man. Two is like you plus me, that's what two is.

Some people adopted you before me and they called you Timmy (which is a stupid name) and they returned your ass almost immediately because you were so annoying at that age.

Like think about how annoying you are right now at seven years old, but way worse.

I'm better than them though, I don't call you Timmy and I wore earplugs to bed for three years because you love to scream at bedtime. Earplugs are like when I roll over and go back to sleep even when you are yelling so so so loud.

I got you at a time in my life when I was really sick (being sick is like when I'm up late because I'm throwing up and you are a very handsome good boy who sits with me) and they had to put me asleep for a procedure. A procedure is like what happened to you when they put you asleep and took your balls away.

Les ancêtres de Maigriou. Scrawny's ancestors. Théophile Alexandre Steinlen. 1884.