what even is this timeline?!

Fucked up off 2 pillows and a blanket

i love the phrase "cruel and unusual." not only is what you're doing mean but it's also quite frankly fucking bizarre

scientists are trying to discover something harder than getting out of bed to go to work in the morning. and dont make a fucking penis joke ok they already checked everyone’s dick and it doesn’t even come close

Yasss who else is a kinda lame aimless adult in they mid to late 20s

body horror? uhh yeah having a body is horror

just roundhouse kicked an angels halo smoove off

once you realize you don’t actually need to sleep, you can really (stops talking abruptly and stares straight ahead for 4 minutes)

the rapture happened but they only took pjackk

the losing dogs and i are engaging in insider trading

Is thinking the knight at Medieval Times likes you equivalent to thinking the stripper actually likes you

accidentally wrote “never mill yourself” like yeah i don’t think anyone would do that unless they’re wheat or perhaps a rice