what even is this timeline?!

mozzarella and parmesan is kind of like the age gap yuri of cheese

no one says big mood anymore. no one even says mood. no one says anything. all thats left is a dry wind, that scours my face until i bleed

i know the way people talk about their pets now is probably how we’ve been doing it for all of history. a cat owner in ancient rome saw their cat lounging on the dining pillows and commented “he thinks himself to be the senator claudius 🤣”

Another reason why trains would be good is that most people are not good at driving

It's actually super unethical to keep a peeve as a pet

explosion at health potion factory 0 dead 0 injured

got my first ever official customer complaint because when i was going over the terms of their life insurance they were like "well i don't plan to die" and i was like "well you're going to"