fool, just another

fuck therapy i’m becoming a knight

She took my fucking mind palace, I'm thinking out of my mind car now.

I think the key to a happy life as an adult woman is to channel your inner weird little girl and make her happy

isn't it fucked up that milfic means military fiction and not "possessing the traits of a milf"

we all need to take better care of our selfs or we might Pass away

Girl whose most frequent mistake is inaction voice: wow I keep making mistakes I better not do anything

wow dude jts so awesome that your car is loud as fuck and smells worse when it drives past. thags fucking epic man. i really like how it hurts to listen to you drive past and it scares people. thats awesome man. i really like your car that makes a loud as fuck fart sound. fucking epic dude

Strange racists and homophobes on the internet seem to have access to an alternate way cooler version of TV than me. "every white character on TV is in an interracial relationship" "every show has a gay couple in it" "main characters keep having to secretly be bisexual and nonbinary" "every show has gratuitous full frontal nudity" like damn promise?? What channel???

Is thinking the knight at Medieval Times likes you equivalent to thinking the stripper actually likes you

the losing dogs and i are engaging in insider trading

the rapture happened but they only took pjackk

once you realize you don’t actually need to sleep, you can really (stops talking abruptly and stares straight ahead for 4 minutes)

just roundhouse kicked an angels halo smoove off

body horror? uhh yeah having a body is horror