about 90% of fanfiction takes place in a utopia where men are thoughtful and unsure of their place in the world
@skulandcrossbones this might be the greatest tag on a reblog I’ve ever seen.
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@the-reading-lemon
about 90% of fanfiction takes place in a utopia where men are thoughtful and unsure of their place in the world
@skulandcrossbones this might be the greatest tag on a reblog I’ve ever seen.

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The long-lost remains of King Alfred the Great have been found buried under a car park, investigators claim.
Alfred died in 899, and his bones were repeatedly moved. He was buried in Winchester Cathedral until 1110, when his remains were moved to Winchester's Hyde Abbey, where they were interred before the high altar between the bodies of his wife and son. The abbey was demolished after the dissolution of the monasteries in 1539, and the place was left in ruins. In 1866, during construction of a workhouse on the site, the English antiquarian John Mellor excavated the area, found what he thought were Alfred's bones and had them reburied at nearby St. Bartholemew’s Church. But in 2013, when archaeologists exhumed and carbon-dated the bones from St. Bartholomew’s churchyard, they proved to date from over 200 years after Alfred’s death - sparking Graham's interest and search. He said: "Whoever’s bones they were, they weren’t Alfred’s. So, I decided to discover what happened to them. "The quest has taken me 13 years.”
shut up they did not find another goddamn king under another goddamn car park
what the hell is going on
i believe in you Binface. you can do it. this could be your moment.
Please god it would be so funny
there is no downside to voting for Count Binface. its not taking away from other candidates bcos they aren't any and the more votes he gets the stupider Farage looks.
for people out of the loop:
Nigel Farage is the leader of Reform UK, a far right party who are currently in the process of a serious bid to become the UK government. they are just straight up evil.
Count Binface is an intergalactic space warrior with a bin on his head. he likes to run as a novelty candidate in general and mayoral elections. a big thing he likes to do is run as a candidate against the incumbent prime minister:
(Also pictured: Boris Johnson, Elmo)
Anyway, in brief:
Nigel Farage is currently in the midst of a big scandal about his finances
He has decided to deal with this by 1) making a show of nobly resigning from parliament and then 2) immediately running in the resulting by-election
He has stated that he is letting 'the people' judge his actions and implied that if he wins that will prove that he has been exonerated in the court of public opinion
His goal was presumably to get a big resounding win over the other parties, proving that The People still love him.
the other parties have thus far decided that this is a 'vanity election' and, well, there is one very easy way to ensure that he will not beat any of them, and that is simply not to play.
and as a result the only person who has so far confirmed they are running against him is Count Binface. no matter the outcome this makes Nigel Farage look like, u know, a fucking clown.
So what happens if Count Binface actually wins? Does he join Parliament? Does he have to take the bin off his face?
I've seen some people saying he would have to give up his title but it would seem that is no longer the case as of 1999; so, no, he can keep his ceremonial bin if he wishes.
Important to note also that Count Binface is the alter ego of comedian & political satirist Jon Harvey who seems to be an intelligent individual with reasonable politics. As I said no real downside.
The no hats rule clearly does not apply to him. He is not wearing a hat. It's a bin.
My favourite part of this so far is that, owing to the BBC's charter of neutrality, they have to interview Count Binface and his representatives (he has none) on equal terms to Farage. So he has appeared on a very serious, very straight laced British News Show.
The two 'earthlings' in this video, Justin Webb and Nick Robinson, are known for being impeccably well read and well researched, for giving politicians really harsh, uncomprimising interviews, for reporting unflinchingly on massacres of civillians in Gaza, Sudan, and Iran, for speaking truth to power. And today they interviewed Count Binface. There are two possible outcomes here: 1) Farage wins and his investigation by the commons standards comission gets immediately reopened (and there's a motion in parliament at the moment to continue the investigation while Farage isn't an MP, and of course he didn't turn up to argue his point), and we're back where we started, or 2) Farage loses to a fecking bin. And I'm honestly not sure which is funnier
So, I lurk in some writer subreddits, and a frequent topic of discussion is prose: what constitutes good prose, how do you write it, how do you improve it, etc. And yesterday I stumbled across one topic about the difference between good descriptive prose, and purple prose. OP asks people to share some of their favourite authors who they think write beautiful prose without tipping into purple. No problem; people are happy to oblige.
One person says that Steinbeck is one of their favourite authors for prose, and then they share an example of what they would consider purple prose. It is so violetly awful that I think the poster must have written it themselves as a kind of parody of purple prose. Other people assumed the same.
But as it turns out, they are quoting from a book written by a YouTuber whose channel ia dedicated to talking about writing (namely, their own writing, which is genius, but often not comprehensible to the drooling plebs).
Naturally, I read the free sample of their book in awe and horror, and I'd like to share some screenshots with you. If you also have trouble defining or understanding what purple prose is, it's this.
Yes, every single fucking page is written like this.
Reading some more of the preview for this book, and I realise this is by far not the biggest problem, but I'm begging this guy to just use 'shadow' instead of 'umbra'. I promise I will not accuse you of being a philistine.
'Noctilucent orbs'. Even fanfic written by a 14-year-old wouldn't dare.
The author is a man in his 30s, btw.
*throws this in the face of everyone who has ever accused me of writing purple prose*
I thought the Amelia Peabody series was purple. I owe the author an apology. Uffda
I lost it at the pulsating nose, then again at the contracting cheekbones
I am down with a migraine. Very dizzy. Expressed a desire for potato chips because I thought the salt might help.
Holly Mop who was beside me in bed got up and trotted into my office. Came back into the bedroom and very daintily spat out a single potato chip.
Which has revealed two things:
A) that she does understand more of what I’m saying, and in true Shih Tzu fashion,chooses not to listen and
B) there’s a stash of stale potato chips somewhere in my office I’ll need to find tomorrow.
Emphasis on tomorrow
I’ve got a Dogtor to cuddle today.

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How long have you been on Tumblr?
Over 16 years (before 2010) (toddlers in the dawn of the ant colony)
16 to 14 years (2010-2012) (livejournal and Myspace refugees)
13 to 11 years (2013-2015) (you used to follow thebootydiaries)
10 to 8 years (2016-2018) (era of Russian bot conspiracy)
7 to 3.5 years (2019-2022) (post sex ban to Goncharov)
3.5 years or less (2023–2026) (Twitter refugee)
Rebagel for science pls.
LIKES TO CHARGE REBLOGS TO CAST
you people aren't CASTING
and make it permanent
digging into the old discworld content rabbit hole led me to these photo production stills by the same studio that gave us the Troll Bridge film….. Troy Larkin as Rincewind…
I don't know if you've seen the short film these are from, but if not, enjoy.

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digging into the old discworld content rabbit hole led me to these photo production stills by the same studio that gave us the Troll Bridge film….. Troy Larkin as Rincewind…
Thank you so much for this!
I never knew about the Troll Bridge film and watched it as soon as you mentioned it.
Here is the link for everyone who is also interested.
genuinely curious pls respond
people always say that internet spaces are americanised because the users are majority americans.
and i do always wonder how much of that is "there are actually a majority of usamericans" and how much is "usamerican cultural markers are a default for many online spaces, and non usamericans are often indistinguishable from usamericans unless you're actively looking".
so here's an incredibly unscientific poll reblog for reach or whatever
where do you live?
in the usa
anywhere that is not the usa
no nuance. if you live in a usa territory/colony like puerto rico or guam or american samoa, go with your heart.
additional poll, what the hell:
is english your first/native language?
yes, english is the main language i grew up speaking
yes, but i also grew up speaking another language(s)/i'm bilingual
no, i learned english as a second or additional language
My work for the @very-sincerely-yours-zine !
What an incredible honor to be surrounded by such talented creatives in a celebration of queer life, love, and perseverance 🩵🩵🩵
One million pounds to the writer of this caption in the Guardian please

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i confess i don't really understand what people mean when they say they cannot find good books to read anymore. like. go to the shop or library and choose a book??
the problem generally seems to be something along the lines of 'everyone on tiktok is telling me to read books i think sounds bad' and its like ok i do not think those people have your best interests at heart
My "trick" is to go to the nearest physical place where you can get books. Bookstore, library, charity shop, whatever suits you.
Once there, scan the shelves and physically pick up the first book that sparks even the slightest interest in you. No nuance, no further thoughts, just grab it.
This book is now your baseline.
From here, you can keep browsing and compare every next book you see to the one you've got in your hand.
If something else seems more interesting, swap it out! If another choice would be more practical, e.g. a little paperback instead of a thick hardcover tome whilst on vacation, swap it out! And so on and so forth, for as long as you fancy and/or have other books available.
Having a real book in hand to start with allows you to compare and contrast, which is a lot easier on the brain than hunting for the nebulous idea of a "perfect choice".
^^ yeah i know its not a great option for everyone but there's something about being able to physically browse books. online shopping is great for finding specific stuff but u cannot beat being able to pick up and handle books if you don't know what you're looking for
It appears that all parties with the exception of Restore are not going to entertain Farage’s media circus.
Count Binface - it is your time. People of Clacton, please do the funniest fucking thing that’s happened in UK politics for a while.
Shitposting at its finest.