Have a Cookie!

· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·

Steve’s funeral was held at a beautiful church, four days before the move. 

Noah was by your side the entire time, holding your hand, telling you it’s okay to cry when you began to get frustrated with yourself for it, smiling sadly but proudly when you walked up to say a few words about the man who took you in, the man who raised you as his own, the man who gave you a job and never let you give up on yourself. You never imagined having to go on through your life without him cheering you on… but you also never imagined having someone like Noah become a part of your life either. 

It was just a reminder that although life was cruel, that it had a way of taking things away when you least expected it, it also gave you things you could’ve never imagined. 

The funeral had been beautiful, absolutely devastating, but beautiful. It felt like half the town had turned up to say goodbye to him. There were mechanics Steve had worked with over the span of his life, there were old friends he’d known since he was at school, neighbours from over thirty years ago, customers that grew to love and trust him- because he made it oh so easy. 

Noah was your rock through it all. You could’ve never imagined yourself getting through a day like this without him by your side. He never let go of your hand, not while people were offering their condolences, or while you stood beside Linda, greeting people until your cheeks hurt from forcing brave little smiles. He was just reminding you that you weren’t doing this alone. 

That you’d never have to face anything alone ever again. 

At one point, after yet another person had approached you to tell you they remembered you when you were little- despite you having no clue who they were- and telling you what an incredible man Steve was, that there’d be another guy like him… you found yourself staring blankly at the floor, exhausted from the grief and the whole day itself. 

Noah wrapped an arm around your shoulder, pulling you into him as he tilted his head down a little to ask,

“Are you alright?”

You nodded your head automatically, which of course just made him raise an eyebrow. 

“You're not very convincing, y’know.” He said, earning a little smile and a weak laugh from you. 

“I know.” 

He kissed your forehead, his lips lingering there for a moment before he spoke again. 

“I’m proud of you,” he whispered, “I could see how much you’ve been holding back, but you don’t have to pretend to be okay for me. You know that, baby?” 

You sniffled, and nodded your head, not really having the energy for words right now. Because you glanced around at all the empty chairs, the people leaving, the reality of it all settling in now. The fact that Steve really wasn’t coming back. 

You took Noah’s hand again, and didn’t say a word as you led him outside. He probably guessed you wanted to get some air, so he followed behind you into the cold. The two of you found a bench near the church, Noah laid his jacket down for you since it was a little damp from the rain earlier and you both sat in silence for a moment, trying to process the day. 

“I kept expecting him to walk through the door,” you said quietly, staring up at the grey sky, “I kept thinking maybe everyone got it wrong... I know it sounds stupid-”

“It doesn’t.” Noah said softly, his hand finding your knee. 

You turned your head to look at him, and he was already looking at you with those warm, pretty brown eyes. It only made the lump in your throat worse. 

“I just…” you chuckled weakly, “I keep forgetting. I keep thinking maybe my phone's gonna ring, and I’ll see his name come up again.” 

For a second or two, Noah looked away. You watched his jaw tighten, because he’d lost people too. He’d told you about friends and people he was close to who’d lost their lives far too early and he never got a chance to say goodbye, so you knew he understood. He understood more than you could imagine. 

“If your phone rings,” he said quietly as he looked back at you, his eyes softer than ever, “I’ll answer it for you.” 

“What?” You laughed through watery eyes.

“And if it’s Steve," Noah continued, "I’ll tell him he’s an asshole for scaring everyone.” 

A broken laugh escaped you, making Noah smile. 

“You know what he’d actually say if he could see us right now?” You asked, wiping under your eyes. Noah let out a dramatic sigh, before putting on his best Steve impression. 

“Stop crying over this bullshit! You're supposed to be at work!” 

You laughed even harder. 

“Exactly,” you smiled, sniffling again, “He’d be furious I’m taking time off.” 

“I think he wouldn’t mind if he knew you were spending it with me,” he smirked, though you saw how glossy his eyes had become, “...He always thought I was good for you.” 

You teasingly glared at him. 

“I don’t think Steve knew just what you were really like back then.” You chuckled, “I don’t think he would’ve left you alone in the same room as me if he did.” 

“Hey!” Noah laughed, playfully annoyed, “I’m gonna let that one slide today because you’re grieving.” 

You smiled, and let your head rest against his shoulder. You watched across the church grounds as people left, and life continued. Then you thought about how your life would continue too, how your entire house was packed into boxes that now sat in Noah’s living room. You thought about this terrifying leap you were about to take, but it didn’t scare you as much as you thought it would. 

Because deep down, you knew Steve would be excited- not just you, but for Noah too. He’d be standing there with that stupid grin on his face that he always wore when he knew he’d been right about something all along. And he’d say about time, kid. 

…

Two days before the move, you were back in the shop, and you hadn’t expected it to feel as normal as it did. You expected to be emotional about it, especially as you’d been working here for years- ever since the summer after you turned 15- so it was safe to say you had a lot of history with this place, and memories you’d treasure for the rest of your life.

Maybe it felt normal because now this place had now been handed over to Glenn. It wasn’t Steve’s anymore. Yet you were still sitting at your desk, sorting through paperwork for what felt like the hundredth time. You were going through insurance information and customer records- things Glenn would need, and you wanted to make it as simple and easy to read as possible for him. 

You couldn’t help but notice how empty your office was looking now. You had cleared the shelves- all except the top ones, since you were saving those for someone who could reach…

There were a couple of cardboard boxes sat beside your desk. Steve's old coffee mug had been wrapped carefully in newspaper because Linda had told you she wanted to keep it. Despite everything changing around the place, it still smelled exactly the same. Like oil, coffee, dust, and- strangely- home. 

While you were in the middle of stacking invoices to staple together, the front door opened, and the familiar sound of the little bell ringing made you look up. You couldn’t help but grin as you watched Noah step inside, looking exactly the same as he did the first day he walked in- black skinny jeans, sleeveless band shirt, red beanie on his head. 

“Morning, sunshine.” He smirked, remembering how much you loved to hear him say that every morning when he clocked in for his shift. He watched the way you scoffed and rolled your eyes, “There she is. My beautiful, stubborn girlfriend.” 

You shook your head. 

“And here you are, my never-on-time boyfriend!” You shot back, trying not to grin. 

“Hey, I was picking coffee for your grumpy ass.” He said, crossing the room and leaning down to kiss your forehead, before setting your latte down on your desk. 

“Thank you.” You smiled, looking up at him…

But he wasn’t looking at you. His attention was elsewhere- more specifically, on the car sitting in the workshop. And it was almost like he never left this place, his mechanic instincts immediately kicking back in. 

“What’s wrong with that?” He asked, pointing over at it.

You took a sip of coffee before following his gaze. 

“The blue one?”

“Yeah.” 

You shrugged. 

“I think the guy said something about it making a weird noise, I’m not sure.” 

Noah frowned, then hummed… then started walking towards it, making you laugh. 

“Noah…”

“What?”

“You’re not even employed here anymore.” 

“And?”

You watched him disappear into the workshop, then you heard the clank of tools moving, then you heard him talking to himself, cursing, and then asking,

“Who the hell worked on this thing?”

You smiled to yourself. Some things never change. 

You watched him for a while, still wondering how the hell he could still look so attractive with half his body under a car… but then you got up and wandered to the front door. You glanced left and right, but there was no sign of Dan, the new mechanic. He wasn’t supposed to even get here for another couple hours… so a little smile pulled at your lips as you reached up and flipped the sign on the door. 

CLOSED 

And then you locked the door from the inside too, just to make sure. 

“Babe?” Noah called out, sounding a little confused, “You haven’t locked me in, have you?”

You chuckled. 

“Not alone.” You answered as you slowly wandered into the workshop. 

Noah had moved, he was now leaning over the car, looking down into the engine, tools in hand. You stopped for a moment to just watch him again, because this was how you’d first fallen for him. Sure the flirting and the stupid jokes and the confidence played a part, but watching him work, watching him care, watching him do something he knew so well and loved, and seeing how fucking hot he looked-

“There a reason you’re looking at me like that?” He smirked, catching you staring. 

“Maybe…” You took another step closer, your eyes dragging over him like this. “Maybe I’m thinking about how sexy you look like this,” you smirked, “How I always had to stop myself from coming in here while you worked, getting all dirty and sweaty.”

Noah straightened up, wiping his hands on the rag that was already on the car roof, then his hands found your waist, pulling your body closer to his. 

“Oh, is that right?” He chuckled, his voice low as his hands held your hips, “Well, I hate to break it to you baby… but I’m not gonna fuck you here.” 

You looked up at him through your lashes and pouted. 

“Noo… don’t gimme that face!” He frowned, before leaning down to kiss the tip of your nose. “Babe, I want our last memory of this place to be wholesome… not me bending you over some old car.” 

You couldn’t help but laugh at that. 

“Wow,” you softly shook your head, “You really have changed for me, huh?”

“What do you mean?” Noah asked, a playful glint in his eyes. 

“If I walked in here a few months ago and told you that I thought you looked hot, you’d practically be begging for it.” 

Noah huffed a laugh, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. 

“That’s because I was an idiot with no self control.” 

You gave him a look. 

“Oh yeah? What’s changed?” You teased, earning a grin from him. 

“...Now I have slightly more self control.” 

“Pfft, you liar.” You scoffed, making him shake his head. 

He’d missed this. He’d missed you like this- the playful you, teasing him back, looking up at him like he was your whole world. He told himself over and over that he’d never take this for granted if he ever got you back, and now here you were, your hands resting against his chest while his stayed comfortably on your hips… 

“We really did it, huh?” He said suddenly with a soft smile. 

“Hm?” 

“Us,” he said sincerely, making your chest ache, “I know I’ve said it before, but I seriously never thought we’d make it here. I never even thought you’d ever give me a chance.”

You smiled, your hand coming up to cup his face.

“You’re too hard on yourself sometimes, Noah.” You said, your thumb stroking his cheek, “You’re amazing. You’re kind, you’re caring, you make me laugh when I don’t want to, you always know when something’s wrong, even when I don’t say anything… you look after everyone around you, whether they deserve it or not.” 

Noah’s eyes narrowed a little. 

“Baby, are you trying to make me cry?”

“No!” You laughed. 

“Because it’s working.” He added. 

You shook your head, smiling. 

“I mean it, though.” You said, and watched as his eyes softened. 

You could see in his face how your words were slowly settling in him, how he was believing you more and more each time you reassured him. Noah had always seemed so confident on the outside, like nothing in the world could bother or upset him, but you learned pretty quickly that there were parts of him that still struggled to believe good things about himself- parts of him that still couldn’t understand why someone would choose him, after the way he’s been treated in the past. 

You wanted to change that for good. 

“You know what your problem is?” You asked, a little soft smile tugging at your lips. 

“Oh here we go.” He groaned playfully. 

“You never let yourself see yourself the way other people do.” 

Noah’s smile fell ever so slightly, but you carried on. 

“I’d do anything for you to see yourself the way I do… then maybe you’d see why I fell in love with you… despite being unbelievably annoying.”

Noah chuckled, resting his forehead against yours. For a moment you just held him like this, and let him hold you too. 

“I’m not letting you make me cry today,” he whispered, “Should we just get the office packed up then go home?”

You nodded your head, and with a kiss to your forehead, Noah pulled back. 

“Since you’re desperate to get in my pants.” He added, making you scoff. 

“Noah!” 

… 

So Noah left the car alone, and went back into the office with you. It only took a couple hours for the both of you to clear out the storage cupboard and all the top shelves. 

However, while you were emptying the cupboard, you came across a framed photo. It made you stop what you were doing completely, you held it in your hands and slowly turned around to face Noah, who was wiping the dust off of the shelves. 

“Noah… come look at this.” 

He turned his head, eyebrows raised. 

“What is it?”

“Linda took this. This was the first day I started working here…”

He stepped beside you, his shoulder brushing yours as he leaned down to get a better look. 

The photograph had faded a little over the years, which was no surprise, it was taken when you were fifteen. You were wearing a blazer that was a little too big for you, but you didn’t care, at the time you thought it made you feel very professional. Your hair was pulled back into a messy ponytail, and there was a smear of grease across your cheek that Steve had left after he pulled you into a hug. 

He was standing beside you in the picture, one arm slung proudly around your shoulders while he held a mug of coffee in his other hand. He was grinning from ear to ear, ever so proud to have his niece working with him- and despite how awkward you thought you looked in the photo, you were smiling exactly the same. 

“Baby…” Noah’s face softened, but you shook your head, letting out a quiet laugh through your nose. 

“I hated this picture.” 

Noah’s head turned towards you. 

“Why?”

“I thought I looked awful,” you shrugged, your thumb brushing absentmindedly over the dusty frame, “I remember Linda framing it and leaving it on my desk one morning. I was so embarrassed that I waited until she left, then I hid it in here. When she came in a couple weeks later and asked about it, I told her I moved it so it didn’t get knocked off the desk.” 

Noah looked back down at the photograph. 

“You hid this?”

“I was fifteen, Noah.” You said, “I was dramatic.” 

“I think you still are.” Noah laughed, making you nudge him with your elbow.

“Shut up.” You said with a smile. 

But then Noah took the frame from you gently, holding it carefully, studying it for a few seconds. 

“You know what I see?”

“A teenager with terrible hair and acne?” You asked, folding your arms. 

“No.” He said, his smile softening even more, “I see a kid who looked happy..” then he tapped carefully against the glass where Steve stood, “And I see a man who looked unbelievably proud of you.” 

You swallowed hard. 

“He loved you.” Noah said. 

“I know.” You said, your voice a little wobbly.  

“No,” Noah looked at you, “I mean… look at him. You were his whole world.” 

You looked at the picture again, and tears began to blur your vision. Because you didn’t care about what you looked like in it now, all you could see was Steve’s big, warm smile. The way he’d been looking at the camera with such pride in his eyes. 

You had spent years looking at that photo every time you looked in the storage cupboard, and seeing every flaw you thought you had. Your hair, your face, your awkward smile- you never really looked at your uncle. Until now. 

A tear slowly rolled down your cheek, and you wiped it away before Noah saw. 

“I think this should come with us.” Noah said after a moment. 

“What?” 

“This shouldn’t stay hidden away in a cupboard anymore. It’s coming to California, and we’re going to put it up somewhere for everyone to see.” 

You laughed.

“Noah-”

“No, babe I’m serious.” He said, “It’ll be like Steve is there with us- which he will be. Looking down on you, thinking to himself… I’m so proud of her. I’m so proud she came to her senses and realised Noah’s the love of her life-”

You smacked his arm, shutting him up. 

“You always find a way to ruin it,” you chuckled, taking the photo back, “But I like that idea. Maybe we can put it up on the wall somewhere, or on a shelf?”

Noah nodded his head, wrapping his arms around you from behind. 

“I think that sounds perfect.” He said, before pressing a kiss to your cheek. 

… 

Moving day had finally come. 

Sunlight spilled through the curtains in Noah’s bedroom, though there was very little for it to fall on now. The shelves were empty, the posters and framed tattoo flash art were gone from the walls, the wardrobe doors were open with nothing hanging inside except for a single raincoat that Noah forgot to pack the night before. 

The room echoed now, and it no longer felt like the room you used to sleep in back when you and Noah were inseparable. It was completely bare, ready for someone new to move in, ready to create new memories for someone else. 

“Ready?” Noah asked suddenly, making you turn around. 

He was carrying one of the last boxes, your car keys hooked around his finger, dressed in the same pair of black skinny jeans he always wore, and black sleeveless band shirt. His hair was a little damp and messy from having only just gotten out the shower five minutes ago, it had begun to grow past his shoulders now. You kept telling him he needed a haircut, but he told you it can wait until after the move. Once the two of you were in LA, his bands first album was going to be released shortly after, so he wanted to make sure he looked good for all the interviews he was convinced he would be doing. 

But right now, he looked tired, excited and a little bit nervous. Just like you. 

“As I’ll ever be.” You finally answered. 

Noah let out a soft sigh before setting the box down by the door and walking over to you, wrapping both arms around your waist without saying anything, and you automatically reached up, resting your arms around his neck. 

You stayed like this for a couple moments, just holding each other in silence, in the empty room. 

“I can’t believe this is really happening.” You whispered, and Noah smiled against your forehead. 

“I know. I’m moving across the country with my girlfriend.” 

You chuckled. 

“I keep waiting for something to stop us.” 

“Nothing’s stopping us.” He said, his lips brushing your forehead, “We made it.” 

“Not yet,” you smirked, “We have to get there first.” 

Noah huffed a laugh, then squeezed you one last time before pulling away. 

“C’mon, these are the last boxes. Wanna help me take ‘em?” He said, motioning to one of the boxes by his wardrobe. 

You nodded your head, and reached for one of them. 

The two of you walked through the house and down to the driveway, which looked empty now- but that wasn’t the case two days ago. 

Two days ago, Jolly and Folio were giving you and Noah a hand moving your things out from your place, to take them to Noah's, and they were laughing at the amount of stuff the two of you somehow owned. 

“There’s no way the two of you are fitting this in your car.” Jolly had said as he watched Noah and Folio bring more and more things out of your house- your coffee table, the TV you were not leaving behind, the dismantled bookshelf. He then insisted he take your things to LA in his van, since there was enough room, and it felt rude to say no.

So after that, all that remained was the final handful of things- a suitcase full of clothes, a backpack full of bathroom things and a box containing some of the things neither of you trusted Jolly or Foilo to take across the country. Now those things were all sitting in the back of your car. Noah had sold his a few days ago to someone he knew in another local band, he said it made sense just to take the one to California.

And of course it had to be your car. The one he spent weeks secretly fixing up for you before Christmas. The one that you cried over when he gave you the keys. It was now the one to take you both to begin your new life together, far, far away from this town. 

But just as Noah put the last bag in the back of the car, somebody suddenly pulled up into his drive. You realised who it was immediately, and your heart sank. 

“Hey!” You barely heard a voice before arms were being thrown around you, pulling you into a tight hug. 

“Jess, we were going to stop by your place before we-”

“I don’t care, I had to come and say goodbye.” She said, squeezing you even tighter. 

You laughed into her shoulder, holding her just as tightly. When she finally let go, her eyes were already beginning to glisten. 

“No.” You pointed a finger at her, “No tears, this is a happy day.” 

“I know.” She sniffled, “I’m not crying… it’s just allergies.” 

You chuckled, and from the corner of your eye, you spotted Sam wandering over to Noah. 

“Everything worked out then, huh?”

Noah nodded his head, almost looking a little embarrassed by how happy he felt. 

“I think I’m the luckiest man alive, to be honest.” 

“Luck?” Sam’s brows raised, “I wouldn’t call it luck, bro.” 

Noah’s brows furrowed. 

“What?”

“I’ve had to hear every little detail of you two’s relationship,” he laughed, “And it sounds like you earned this, you worked for it. You didn’t win her over just because you were lucky.” 

Noah didn’t say anything to that straight away, he just slowly nodded his head. Then Sam reached out and patted his shoulder. 

“Good luck out there, man. I hope it all goes well.” He smiled, “And take care of y/n. You don’t want to know what my girlfriend would do to your ass if you do so much as make her cry.”

Noah chuckled, shaking his head. Meanwhile, Jess was holding your hands in hers, squeezing them tight. 

“I’m scared.” You whispered, looking down at your joined hands. “What if it doesn’t work out?”

“Then it doesn’t.” She said with a shrug, “You could come back- you know you’re always welcome at my place- or you figure something else out. But this is your chance, babe. For as long as I’ve known you, you’ve talked about leaving this place... and if you don’t go, you know you’ll spend the rest of your life wondering what would’ve happened if you did.” 

You swallowed hard, feeling the lump in your throat coming back. 

“I’m going to miss you so much.” You said quietly before meeting her eyes, “I promise I’ll text, I’ll call you at every chance, I’ll send you pictures of cats and the sunsets… it’ll be like we’re not even apart.” 

Jess chuckled, a tear slipping down her cheek. 

“I love you.” 

“I love you too.” You whispered before pulling her into a hug. 

“Baby, I know this is all very emotional, but it’s almost time.” Noah called out, and you carefully pulled back, nodding your head. 

“Guess this is it.” You said, wiping beneath your eyes while Jess nodded. 

“Yeah... go start the rest of your life with that asshole mechanic you said you hated so much,” she laughed through her tears, “Promise you'll come back to visit when you can, though?”

“Of course I will.” You smiled, “Goodbye, Jess.” 

“Bye.” She said, not trusting her voice to stay steady. 

You took a deep breath as you stepped away, but you didn’t get far before Sam wrapped his arms around you. 

“Gonna miss you,” he said before pulling back, “Go be somebody out there. Make a name for yourself, yeah? Make us all proud.” 

You nodded your head, and the tears were getting even more difficult to hold back. You waved to Jess and Sam as they got back in his car, then turned to Noah as they left. 

“There’s one more person I need to talk to before we leave…” 

…

“Are you sure this is a good idea?” Noah asked as he pulled up to the curb. “You don’t owe her anything, baby.” 

“I’m not doing this for her.” You said, “I’m doing this for me.” 

“...Are you trying to forgive her?”

“Hell no.” You said, reaching for the seatbelt, “There’s just some things I need to say. I’m not coming to start a fight, or to hear her side of whatever twisted story she’ll tell,” you reached for the door handle, “I just need to get a few things off my chest.” 

Noah nodded his head. 

“As long as you’re sure. Want me to wait in here?”

“Please.” You said before shutting the car door, and staring up at her front door. 

Each step up to her porch came with a memory. Countless Friday nights you spent together while Jess was on a date, the two of you sharing a cheap bottle of wine, sitting cross legged on her bed while you talked about anything and everything. The nights you cried in her arms over stupid things, nights you held her when the guy she was talking to broke her heart. 

This used to feel like your second home, but now it felt like it belonged to a stranger. 

You raised your hand knocked twice on the door, bracing yourself for what was to come. Would she be angry? Would she be upset? Would she talk to you? Would she even open the door? 

You had to remind yourself that she had no right to be angry. She was the cause of this entire mess, and-

“Y/n?”

The door opened, and Maya stood on the other side, her face pale, her hair a mess, bags under her eyes. She looked nothing like the Maya you knew… or the Maya you thought you knew. 

“Hi.” You said, though you noticed she wasn’t even looking at you. She was looking past you, at your car that was parked, then at Noah, who was still sitting behind the wheel, trying to make it look like he wasn’t watching. 

“So… you’re back together?”

“Yes. We are.” You said, noticing the confusion on her face. 

“...Can I help you?”

“I won’t keep you long, I have somewhere to be. I just wanted to talk before I left.” 

She hesitated before stepping outside, carefully pulling the door almost closed behind her. 

“I heard you were leaving town.” 

“I am.” You nodded your head. “With Noah, actually. We’re moving out to LA together.”

She nodded her head slowly, looking away for a moment .

“You got what you wanted then?”

You let out a breath of laughter, shaking your head. 

“No. Not really.” 

Maya frowned. 

“What?”

“What I wanted was my best friend.” You said calmly, almost gently, because there was no anger left in you anymore. “I wanted you by my side while I packed up my house, I wanted you by my side at Steve’s funeral, I… I wanted you to be happy for me, happy that I’m in my first relationship with a good guy, like any other best friend would be.” 

You watched as her eyes began to glisten with tears, the way her bottom lip trembled. 

“I don’t think you’ve ever realised just how much you meant to me.” You said, swallowing hard. “I thought of you as my sister. I thought you’d be my maid of honour one day, I thought our kids would grow up together, I thought we’d…” your words trailed off as you held back a sob, “Jess has always had someone else, she’s always been in and out of relationships… but us? We weren't ike that. We’ve always had each other.”

Maya’s shoulders began to shake, then she covered her mouth with her hand before she started to really sob, tears finally spilling from her eyes. 

“I’m sorry…” She said, though her words sounded broken and weak, “I’m so, so sorry.” 

You just watched her blankly. But a few months ago you would’ve wrapped your arms around her, comforted her, told her it was okay, you can fix this. But not anymore. You weren’t going to waste your time on someone that couldn’t be fixed. 

“I’ve ruined everything,” she said quietly as she wiped at her face, “I don’t why I… I’m-”

Her words trailed off to nothing as she cried openly now, not even trying to hold anything back. 

“Y’know,” you said calmly, “I think I know why you did it.” 

She slowly lifted her red, teary eyes to look at you. 

“I don’t think you hate me.” You said confidently, “I just think somewhere along the way, you stopped liking yourself. Maybe you were jealous of me, I don’t know… but it meant that you couldn’t bear watching me be happy, because it wasn’t you.” 

Maya looked away, ashamed, because she knew deep down, that was the truth. 

“I don’t think this was ever about Noah. I think you were just lonely and insecure.” You shook your head sadly, “And instead of admitting that, or telling me anything, you decided it would hurt less if neither of us got to be happy.” 

Maya couldn't even argue, because again, she knew you were right. 

“And what breaks my heart the most about all of this,” you continued, “Is that I would’ve never thought about doing anything like this to you, ever. But y’know what, I’m glad this happened.” 

Maya suddenly looked back up at you. 

“What?”

You nodded your head. 

“Yeah. I know how it sounds. But Maya, if it ever came down to it, I would’ve picked you over Noah. I would've defended you, stood up for you, I would’ve trusted you with my life… thinking you would do the same.” You shook your head slowly. “But I know now that would've been a waste, because you never would've done the same.” You said softly, “So thank you. Thank you for showing me who you really are. For showing me the ugly, selfish bitch that you really are.” 

You let the words land for a moment, carefully thinking about how you were going to word what you wanted to say next. 

“Something I’ve learned through all of this, is that I don’t want a lot of people in my life anymore. I just want the right ones. People who love me, and people who really care.” You took a long breath before finishing with, “I hope one day you find people who make you feel like you’re enough, even with an evil, bitter heart like yours. But that won’t be me. I shouldn't even be here wasting my time on you, but I thought you'd like to know that while you keep yourself locked up in here, feeling sorry for yourself, I'm the happiest I've ever been. That's all.” 

You were about to turn around and walk back to the car when she reached for you, her fingers brushing your arm. 

“Please, I’m sorry, I know you hate me but-”

You spun back around. 

“I don’t want your apologies, Maya. I don’t hate you. I can’t, because even if I did, I’d know you hate yourself more.” You said gently, “And I’ll never forget all the good memories, okay? I’ll cherish them forever… but that’s in the past, and I don’t want you in my future.” 

You took a step back. 

“I hope you find peace with yourself one day. I hope you learn to love yourself as much as I used to. Then maybe you’ll find somebody… and when you do, I hope to god you lose them too. I hope you feel the same pain you put me through and realise just how much strength it has taken me to not to beat your ass right here.” You smiled innocently. “But other than that, I wish you the best.” You turned around properly this time as you said your final words. “Goodbye, Maya.” 

Then headed back to the car, to Noah, to the future that was waiting for you. You didn’t even look back once. Noah reached over and opened the door for you, giving you a look as if to say was everything alright? But the moment you sat down, you let out a very long breath, like a sigh or relief. 

“Got some things off your chest?” He asked as he started the engine, and you looked over at him with the softest smile. 

“Yeah… I did.”

He reached for your knee, giving it a soft squeeze. 

“You ready to leave?”

You took a deep breath, glancing over at Maya’s house once more before nodding your head. 

“Yeah.” You turned to face him, a little sad smile on your face, “Let’s put this place behind us.” 

…

During the first few hours on the road, it still hadn’t sunk in that you were leaving for good. It felt like you were on just another road trip, another business trip, another drive to a bar to watch Noah’s band. You even had to glance over at Noah every now and then to make sure this was still real, and to poke him to make sure this wasn't a dream.

He had one hand on the wheel, the other on your thigh, red beanie on his head, and music blasting through the speakers. You couldn’t help but smile at him, knowing this was the man you’d happily spend the rest of your life with, and the man you so nearly lost...

You tried not to let yourself think about that anymore though. Because you didn’t lose him. Instead, you lost a fake friend, which is the best outcome there could’ve been from that situation. 

Noah drove for miles and miles, with the occasional bathroom break or stopping to pick up snacks. After a few more hours passed, he told you he was feeling kinda hungry, so when you spotted a diner you stopped off there for a while. While you were on the diner’s free wifi, you looked for motels that you would be passing by, knowing that Noah wouldn’t want to stop tonight but you didn’t want to risk your lives before they could even begin. 

So a few more hours into the trip, you managed to persuade him to stop off somewhere for the night, so he took your bags from the car, got the keys from the front desk and made your way up to your room. 

It wasn’t much, but for tonight it was home. There was a king sized bed, an old TV that you were convinced would blow up if you switched it on, and a lamp that made the room glow yellow. Noah dropped your bags beside the door, before dramatically collapsing backwards onto the bed with a loud groan. 

“Oh…” He said before bouncing slightly on the bed, “It’s pretty comfy. Come check it out.” 

You narrowed your eyes on him suspiciously. 

“It’s not a trap… is it?”

“‘Course not, baby. C’mere.” 

With a playful sigh you wandered over, he kicked his shoes off and moved so he was lying against the pillows, and then pulled you into his arms. God, he had a way of making anywhere feel like home.

You listened to his breathing gradually slow as the tension left his body.

“You know…” He said eventually.

“Hm?”

“It won’t be long until we’re doing this in our own bed.”

Your face lit up, and the words made your stomach flutter... but then another thought occurred to you.

“…Wait.”

He glanced down.

“What?”

“…Do we actually have one?”

Noah’s expression changed just the slightest… but it was enough for you to notice.

“…Maybe.”

You sat up.

“What do you mean, maybe?”

“Well…”

“Noah!”

“What?”

“Tell me the place comes with a bed!”

“…Yeah. Yeah it’s got a bed. Yeah, there’s nothing to worry about!”

You eyed him suspiciously… but didn’t question it any further. 

Eventually you both got unready for the night. You washed your face in the tiny bathroom while Noah brushed his teeth beside you, the both of you constantly bumping elbows because there wasn’t enough room at the sink. 

“You better get used to this, babe,” Noah smirked with a mouthful of toothpaste, “Our bathroom in the apartment isn’t exactly the biggest.” 

“Great!” You rolled your eyes playfully, knowing it wouldn’t be an issue at all. 

By the time you both got into bed and climbed under the sheets, it was completely dark outside, and the room was only lit by the little flickering lamp, until Noah switched it off, and wrapped his arms around you. 

You snuggled into him, letting out a content, happy sigh as you rested your head on his chest, feeling his fingers thread through your hair. 

“Noah?” You mumbled sleepily. 

“Hm?”

“Have I ever told you how happy you make me?” 

Noah’s fingers paused for a brief moment, the question suddenly catching him off guard, before continuing to brush through your hair. 

“No. But I see it.”

“You do?” 

“Yeah.” He said softly. “I see it every time you smile at me.”

You tilted your head just enough to look up at him.

“What do you mean?”

“Well,” he began, smiling almost shyly, “When you’d be laughing with Jess, it would be big and wide. When Steve used to annoy you, you’d roll your eyes first and then you’d smile like you were trying not to.” His thumb stroked your side beneath your shirt. “When you got everything done at work, you’d get this smug little grin because you were proud of yourself.”

You couldn’t help but smile already.

“And when you look at me…” Noah continued, his voice even softer, “I see it all in your eyes. Love. Sometimes I wonder if I’m imagining it, if I’m seeing things,” he leaned down, brushing his nose against yours. “But then the corners of your mouth start lifting, and I know it's real.” He laughed quietly. “I even caught you doing it while I was driving earlier.”

Your cheeks warmed.

“You didn’t.” 

“I did,” he smirked, but then his face softened, and he looked at you with so much affection it made your chest ache. “Every single time you look at me like that…” he whispered, “I think, wow… she chose me.”

“Oh, Noah…” You whispered, “Don’t make me cry again.” 

“Sorry, babe.” He smiled, “You started it.” 

You let out a breathy chuckle, then reached up, gently brushing a strand of hair away from his forehead.

“You know what I think every time I look at you?”

He shook his head.

“I think…” You smiled softly. “That’s my person. My Noah.” 

The words hung between you in the quiet room as you ran your fingers through his hair.

“So many people spend their whole lives looking for what we have… for someone they can be completely themselves with.” You looked into his eyes. “I don’t have to pretend with you… I don’t have to be strong all the time or have everything figured out. You never make me feel like I’m too much

His throat bobbed, and you smiled through the tears gathering in your eyes.

“I still don’t think you realise what you’ve done for me.” You quietly confessed. 

“What have I done now?” He chuckled.

“...I used to be very independent- I still am- but it was different back then. I never liked relying on anybody, I used to think I could carry everything by myself… I’d never even tell my friends about things that I now tell you about. Because now, when something good happens, my first thought is I can’t wait to tell Noah about this.” 

“And when something bad happens?” He asked gently. 

“I want you.”

That answer seemed to hit him right in the heart, and he pulled you impossibly closer until there wasn’t even an inch between you.

“You have me,” he whispered into your hair. “You have me for as long as you want me.” 

“That sounds like a pretty long time.” You smiled softly. 

“Mhm... I was thinking forever.”

You tipped your head back to look at him with a little smirk. 

“You’ve always been awfully confident.”

“Yeah, well I’ve just got that feeling.”

“What kind of feeling?”

He gave you a soft, lazy, sleepy smile that completely melted your heart. 

“That I can see us growing old together. We’d be in our 80s, dumped in some retirement home because our kids were sick of our shit, and I’d still be teasing you and making you blush.” 

You stared at him, your eyes widening ever so slightly. 

“You wanna grow old with me?”

He nodded his head gently. 

“Couldn’t think of anyone else I’d rather go grey with.” He smirked.

“...So are you saying you’re gonna marry me one day?”

Noah let out a sudden sleepy laugh. 

“Jesus, you don’t waste any time, do you?”

“I was just asking.” You said, almost a little shy now. 

“Oh yeah?” He looked at you for a moment, softly, before pressing a kiss to your cheek. “Baby,” he said quietly, his voice a little more serious now, “I don’t wanna make a promise like this unless I give you something to show for it.” 

“What do you mean?” You asked, your brows drawing together. 

“I mean… if I sat here and promised I’d marry you one day,” he couldn't help but the big grin on his face, “I’d want to put something on your finger.” 

Your eyes widened again. 

“A ring?”

“Mhm… like a promise ring. I’m not talking about getting engaged tomorrow,” he chuckled, “I think everyone would think I’d completely lost my mind.” He reached down between your bodies, taking your left hand in his, his thumb brushing over your ring finger. “But I want you to know that if I’m making that kind of promise, I want you to have something you can look at every day. So whenever you start doubting me, you can look at it and remember that I mean every word. That I don’t ever want you wondering where we’re headed… because I’m serious about you, about us.” 

Your bottom lip wobbled, especially since Noah’s cheeks were now suddenly a little pink. 

“So when we’ve finally settled in LA, when we’re doing okay and maybe I’ve saved up a little… I’ll get you that promise ring. And then we’ll keep building our life together,” he gave your hand a squeeze, “Because then when the band takes off-”

“You sound very certain about that.” You laughed, cutting him off. 

“I am. We’re so fucking good, and we’ve all worked too damn hard for it to fail.” He chuckled, “But when that happens, and we’re not scraping by anymore, when we’ve got a nice big home with some big dogs running around, and we’re comfortable and I can afford to buy you the most beautiful ring I can find… I’m gonna ask you properly. I’m gonna do it properly. I’m gonna marry you, and I’m gonna give you the biggest, best, fanciest wedding you could ask for- and I know you don’t care about that, I know what you’d say, but I don’t wanna give you anything less than what you deserve, baby. Because I love you… so fucking much, I can’t even put it into words.”

You were quiet for a moment, opening your mouth to say something but it died on your tongue, because what were you supposed to say to that?

“I hate you.” You tried to laugh, to play off the weight of his words, but failed. Because instead, you let out a loud sob, which made him chuckle as he pressed a kiss to your forehead. 

“Yeah… you’ve told me that a lot.” 

…

The rest of the journey seemed to pass pretty quick, which you were quite glad about. Miles passed without you even really noticing, and the scenery outside the windows would change every so often from open roads to little towns into unfamiliar cities. You would stop every so often when either of you needed a break or Noah wanted to stretch his legs, but it was never for long. 

Because you were impatient, and you wanted to be in California already. 

Every night you’d stop off in a motel, you’d shower and freshen up before ending the night with his arms wrapped around you, and sometimes the two of you would just lie away and talk for hours before finally falling asleep.

On the fourth (and final) day on the road, Noah had finally let you drive. You kept telling him it was only fair to take turns, but he insisted on being the one to drive- it was only when you pretended to be offended by it, pretending you were upset that he didn’t trust your driving, that he let you take over. 

Twenty minutes later, he was fast asleep in the passenger seat anyway, his head tipped back against the seat and his mouth slightly open as the occasional snore escaped him, making your heart melt. But the closer you were getting to California, the more impossible it became to stop smiling. 

Especially when you would see the road signs, and your stomach fluttered as you read them. 

LOS ANGELES - 48 MILES.

Then it became twenty, then ten, then you couldn’t keep the excitement to yourself anymore. 

“Noah,” you said softly, but you smiled to yourself when he didn’t move, “…Noah.”

A sleepy grumble escaped him, but his eyes stayed shut.

“Babe.” You tried. 

“Mmph…”

“We’re here.”

His brow furrowed.

“Huh?”

“We’re here.”

He slowly cracked an eye open, turning to face you. 

“…We are?”

“Yes.” You laughed. 

He blinked a few times, still looking completely dazed as he slowly sat up in the passenger seat. Then he yawned as he looked out the window. The highways were busier now than anything you’d ever driven through back home. Cars surrounded you in every lane, palm trees lined the roads, and enormous billboards towered overhead.

It was real. You’d actually done it.

Noah rubbed a hand over his face before suddenly remembering something that woke him up fully.

“Oh shit.”

“What?”

“The apartment.” He reached into the pocket of his hoodie and pulled out his phone, squinting at the screen through sleepy eyes. “Okay… so we need to keep left.”

You did as he said.

“…No, wait.” He frowned at the map. “I think it’s right. We have to go right.” 

“You don’t know where we live, do you?”

“I do! Maps doesn’t!”

You shook your head with a playful sigh, but when Noah shouted out the next direction, you followed… and twenty minutes later, he was able to point the building out to you. So you followed the road, made one last turn, and finally you came to a stop. 

When you parked up and turned to look at him, he was already watching you, a grin slowly spreading across his face.

“We’re really here.” You said in disbelief. 

But Noah leaned over and pressed a slow kiss against your lips before resting his forehead against yours for a second.

“Welcome home, baby… wanna go check it out?”

You nodded your head, before getting out of the car. The Californian sunshine was warmer than it had ever been at home, and you took a deep breath, looking up at the building that would be yours.

It wasn’t huge, the paint had certainly seen better days, but this was home. You turned around, noticing Noah was grabbing some bags out of the back of the car, and you took in the scenery around you. There were similar apartment blocks for as far as you could see, and around the corner there was a taco truck that you were sure Noah would be happy about. You just couldn’t believe how many palm trees there were, it almost felt like something out of a movie.

“Oh, before I forget.” Noah suddenly said as he adjusted one of the bags on his shoulder. “Jolly and Folio got here a couple days ago with the vans.”

You looked up.

“They did? Have they already moved everything in?”

“The big stuff.” He nodded. “Or… what little big stuff we actually own.”

You laughed.

“They said they’d leave us to unpack together though, so they just took everything in and left it.” He added before leading the way into the building. 

“Where are they now?”

“They only live like a mile away.” He pointed down the road. “They came by earlier to drop the keys off, Folio said he left them under the welcome mat.”

You looked at him.

“…Seriously?”

“What?”

“That’s so unsafe! Anyone could’ve taken them!” You gasped as you followed him up the stairs. But then he bent down, lifted the faded mat outside apartment 8… and sure enough there were a set of silver keys. 

“You boys are unbelievable.” You shook your head while Noah gave you a smug look. 

“Yeah, yeah. We prefer smart, baby.”

He unlocked the front door before stepping aside and holding his arm out.

“After you, m’lady.”

You rolled your eyes, but your stomach fluttered anyway. You reached out, wrapping your fingers slowly around the handle and gently pushed the door open. 

As you stepped inside the empty apartment, the kitchen was to the left and the living room to the right. There was already an oven, fridge, couch- and one of the guys must’ve put your coffee table out already. 

Boxes were stacked in the big empty space between the open plan kitchen/living room. Sunlight spilled through the window, making the apartment already feel warm as it shone down onto the worn wooden floor.  

On the other side of the room there were two doors, which you assumed were the bedroom and bathroom. 

The place sure wasn’t luxurious, modern, or very impressive. Most of the kitchen cupboards were chipped, every footstep echoed, the ceiling fan above the living room looked older than the two of you combined… 

“I love it.” You said with a big grin as you turned back to Noah, who looked like he had been bracing himself. 

He looked a little confused, his brows drawing together. 

“…Really?”

“Yes!” You laughed, wandering back over to him. 

“I know it’s… not exactly the best. And I know you deserve so, so much better, baby-“

“But everyone has to start somewhere.” You said, smiling softly. 

“But it’s-“

You shut him up by gently placing a finger against his lips. 

“This…” you looked around the little apartment again, “…is the first place that’s ever been ours, Noah. I don’t care if the cupboards don’t match, or that it’s small. It’s ours.”

You watched his throat bob as he swallowed, before he shook his head. 

“C’mon. We’ve not even seen the whole place yet.” He said before taking your hand with a smirk. “I wanna see our bedroom. Wanna see where the magic’s gonna happen-”

“Noah!” You giggled as he led you through the apartment, up to the bedroom door. 

Slowly, he reached out and pushed it open and let you step in first. Compared to the rest of the apartment, it was surprisingly big. There was a rather large window that overlooked the street below, and the warm California sun shone in brightly through it. 

Against one wall stood a rather big white wardrobe, and across from it sat a dresser that looked like it had barely survived its last three owners. Still, you smiled as you wandered over to the window, taking in the sight of the street below, your street. 

But then you turned back around all of a sudden... and you looked again, suspiciously.

There was a wardrobe. There was a dresser. There was a big window. 

“...Noah?”

“Yeah baby?”

“...Where’s the bed?”

You turned your head to look at him, and he was standing very still. Almost like a dog who knew he was about to be scolded for peeing on the floor. 

“Noah..? You told me this place came with a bed.”

“So… about that…” 

“I’m listening.” You said, folding your arms. 

He looked so embarrassed that you almost felt bad. 

“...When this place said it came already furnished, you’d expect a bed too, right?”

“That’s what it said?”

“Yeah!” He nodded his head, “The landlord told me it was already partly furnished so I thought that meant-”

“Partly, Noah.” You laughed, “Partly! You should've asked!”

“I know!” He groaned, tipping his head back before dragging a hand down his face. “But look, I’ll get it fixed, okay? I’ll quickly go out, if you wanna start unpacking and-”

“How do you plan on fixing this?” You asked with a little smirk, your arms still crossed. 

“...I’m gonna buy an air bed.” He said, almost shyly, “I know it’s not the best, it’ll only be temporary-”

“You promise?”

“Yes!” 

“So eventually we will have an actual bed?”

“The nicest one I can afford.” He nodded, leaning down to kiss your forehead. 

…

By the time the sun had begun to set, the apartment looked a little more lived in. Sure there were still boxes everywhere, but they were no longer stacked in between the kitchen and living room. Half of them had been opened, their contents scattered across the kitchen counters, the coffee table, the sofa and every available bit of floor space. 

Noah had returned from the store proudly carrying a boxed-up air mattress over one shoulder, and dropped it down onto the bedroom floor with a big grin. 

“I have saved the day.” He announced proudly.

“You fixed the problem you created.”

“Hey, it wasn’t even my fault!”

“But you could’ve asked!” 

But now the air bed sat in the middle of the bedroom, fully inflated after Noah had spent five minutes trying to figure out how the pump worked, then complained the entire time it took to inflate.

You laughed to yourself, typical Noah.

Then you continued unpacking one of the boxes for the bedroom, slowly decorating it with things that made it feel like home. You had stacked some books on the dresser, keeping them upright between a fancy candle Jess bought you for your birthday and a vase Linda handed down to you when a customer came in with flowers for you on your twentieth birthday. 

Then you opened up the next box, and right on the top of everything was that framed photo of you and Steve from the garage, the one Linda took, the one Noah insisted you bring. He must’ve packed this without telling you. 

A small smile tugged at your lips as you carefully carried the frame over to the dresser, blowing away some of the dust on it before setting it down and taking a step back to look at it. 

Perfect, you thought. 

Behind you came the unmistakable sound of Noah’s heavy footsteps walking into the room carrying another box.

“Noah?” 

“Hm?”

“What do you think?”

He set the box down before following your gaze.

“Oh…” His smile softened, “That’s lovely…”

He walked over beside you, slipping an arm around your waist while the two of you looked at it together.

“He looked really proud of you.”

“He always was.”

Noah kissed your temple.

“I know.”

A comfortable silence settled between you, but then of course Noah had to ruin it. 

“…Babe?”

“Yeah?” You looked up at him. 

“…Do you really think that should go there?”

You frowned.

“What do you mean?”

He rubbed the back of his neck, trying not to say it so explicitly.

“I mean… I love the picture, and I think we should absolutely have it on display.”

You folded your arms.

“So what’s the problem?”

He hesitated for a second, clearly trying to work out how to word it.

“…It’s just… it’s facing the bed.”

“Yeah?”

Then Noah cleared his throat.

“I just…” He pointed awkwardly between the photograph and the bed, “…I don’t really want your uncle watching us when we’re… y’know…” He made a gesture with both hands that you wished you hadn’t seen, “I don’t want to feel like he’s watching us fuck.” 

Your jaw dropped.

“Noah!” You gasped.

“What? I’m serious!”

You burst into laughter.

“He is not gonna be watching us!”

“He is, and he’s got the perfect view!”

“Ew!” You shoved his arm. 

“I’m just saying!” Noah laughed, “I loved Steve, I’d just rather not be making eye contact with him while I’m balls deep in his-”

“Okay, fine!!” You raised your voice, trying to stop him from saying anything that could possibly make this any worse than it already was, “I’ll move him if it shuts you up.” 

You picked up the frame and wandered into the living room, setting him down on the TV stand. 

“There.”

Noah followed behind you and studied it for a moment, folding his arms over his chest.

“That’s better.” He nodded, “But we’ll get some shelves put up soon, baby. We’ll make this place feel like home, I promise.”

You smiled softly, stepping closer to Noah and slipping your arms around his neck.

“It already does.” You said quietly before standing on your tiptoes to give him a little kiss. 

…

By the time you admitted defeat, it was almost midnight. You had spent pretty much all day unpacking, yet there were still boxes stacked in every room, the kitchen cupboards were only half full, the bathroom still looked like a hotel, with toothbrushes balanced on the edge of the sink because neither of you had found the little holder yet. The wardrobe was half full of your clothes on the side you claimed as yours, and Noah had hung up a couple hoodies and a few t-shirts before getting distracted by something else.

It wasn’t finished yet, but neither of you expected to get everything done today. So after balling up a few pairs of boxers and shoving them messily into his drawer of the dresser, Noah dropped down onto the air mattress with a very exaggerated groan. 

“I’m calling it.” He announced, “I can’t unpack another box tonight. The rest can wait 'til tomorrow.”

You smiled from the bedroom doorway, carrying two mugs of hot chocolate you managed to make despite everything still being all over the place.

“You said that an hour ago.”

“I know, babe, but I mean it this time.”

You laughed, handing out a mug to him. He took it, and took a careful sip before immediately pulling a face.

“You make this with water?”

You looked down into your mug.

“Well, yeah? We don’t have any milk.”

“Oh shit, yeah…”

You laughed.

“We can go shopping tomorrow,” you smiled, sitting down beside him, “I don’t want to do anything else tonight.” 

“Mm, me neither.” Noah hummed, taking another sip of his drink. “Just wanna sleep.”

“Same.” You said through a yawn, making Noah smile. 

So the two of you sat in bed, finally relaxing in peace after the hectic day you had, drinking your watery hot chocolates. Your overnight bags you took into the motels were open on the floor, one lamp filled the room with a warm yellow glow that you were sure you’d get used to in time, and outside, you could hear distant traffic and the occasional siren somewhere across the city.

It sounded nothing like home- not your old home, anyway. 

“I’m gonna brush my teeth before I end up falling asleep sitting up.” Noah said after finishing his drink.

“You say that like you’re eighty.” You laughed.

“My back feels eighty after four days stuck in your car.”

“You are very tall.”

“Bebae, I know.” He chuckled before he leaned down and kissed the top of your head, then disappeared into the bathroom. You smiled to yourself, and a few minutes later, you followed him. 

The two of you stood shoulder to shoulder at the tiny sink, brushing your teeth in a comfortable silence. There wasn’t enough room for both of you, just like Noah said it'd be, and every few seconds one of you bumped the other with an elbow, making you laugh around your toothbrush.

When you were both finished, Noah switched the bathroom light off and let out a long sigh.

“Bedtime, finally!” He reached for your hand. “And you’re coming with me.”

You let him pull you back into the bedroom, giggling as he sat down on the air bed and pulled you down with him. The mattress had dipped beneath his weight, making you roll towards him without even trying.

He smiled as he looked down at you, already by his side. 

“Oh, hi. You’re clingy tonight.” He teased. 

“I’m not even trying!” You laughed as you pushed yourself up, making him chuckle. 

“I know.” His arm slid around your waist anyway, pulling you back into his side again. “You’ll never escape me.”

“I don’t think I want to.” You said with a soft smile. 

The smile that spread across his face was small, but real. He reached out, brushing a strand of hair away from your face before leaning in to kiss you, slow and gently. Like after the busy day you two have had, he was trying to bring you both back down to reality. 

“…You okay?” He asked when he pulled away, resting his forehead against yours.

“Of course,” you whispered softly, “We really made it, Noah.” 

He nodded his head, and without saying another word, he pulled you impossibly closer until there wasn’t even an inch of space left between you.

“I love you so much.” His voice was barely above a whisper. “And I’m so happy you’re here with me, baby. I don’t know how I would’ve ever done this alone.” 

“I know, but you don’t have to think about that… I love you too, more than you'd ever know.” You smiled. “Even when I hate you.”

Noah chuckled, pressing one last kiss to your forehead before reaching over and switching the little lamp off. 

Outside, Los Angeles was still wide awake, and carried on without you. Cars drove by, people shouted and laughed, and somewhere in the distance there was music playing. But inside your little apartment, everything was calm and still. 

You closed your eyes as you laid in his arms, knowing this should feel scary. You had moved out here with no job, not much money, no real plan… but you weren’t scared at all. If anything, you were excited, knowing that you had everything you ever needed, and he was holding you tight.  

When you first met Noah, when he first stepped into your office that morning, you had no idea just how much he would come to mean to you. You had no idea just what he was like beneath the facade he wore to protect himself, or that the man you swore you wouldn’t fall for would become the person you couldn’t imagine living without. If someone told you then that one day you’d leave everything you’d ever known behind for him, you would’ve laughed in their face. 

But something you’ve come to learn recently was that life has a funny way of changing your plans. You never imagined falling in love before, but now you were laying in the arms of a man who had made a promise just a few nights ago that he was going to give you the world and nothing less… 

And you truly believed him. 

· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·

Somehow, four entire years had passed since you and Noah had packed everything you owned and moved across the country with absolutely no idea what the future held. 

The little apartment that once felt so empty didn’t take long to feel like home. The air mattress had long been replaced with a proper bed- which already feels a little broken thanks to the shenanigans that take place on it every other night. The kitchen cupboards were now full and properly organised, although Noah still somehow manages to put things away in the wrong place when it’s his turn to do the dishes. 

You still keep in contact with Linda and Jess, every few days you’d call and tell them both what you’d been up to, sharing stories of random famous faces you ran into at the grocery store, or telling them where Noah was off to next. 

Because the first Bad Omens album did better than any of you had expected- except Noah, who was so confident and always insisted it’d take off. So the band began to work harder, building it into something real. Tours became longer, they stopped playing in shitty bars and moved into actual venues, and fans had even started to recognise them in the street. 

Then, last summer, their second album was released. It felt like everything was finally falling into place, and nothing could possibly go wrong. 

You become part of the crew too, so you could quit your shitting waitressing job at the restaurant a few blocks away. Officially, your job title was merch manager and social media manager- but unofficially, you did a bit of everything. You sold shirts before shows, then packed all the merch up after them to throw back into the tour van- which had been upgraded now. You reminded everyone where they were supposed to be, you made sure Noah knew when and where he had interviews to do. It was all so hectic, but you loved it. You wouldn’t change it for the world. 

You loved watching people in the crowd sing Noah and Jolly’s words back to them every night, you loved seeing these guys live the dream they always wanted. You were so, so proud of them all. 

And when the band wasn’t touring, life would slow down again. Noah began streaming on twitch a couple years ago in the evenings, partly because he genuinely loved playing games with his friends and talking to the little community online… but also because every extra dollar helped when he wasn't on the road.

Sometimes you’d wander into the room halfway through the stream carrying dinner, only for the chat to explode because they noticed you were wearing one of Noah’s tshirts! Other times, you’d sit just out of frame reading a book while listening to him talk to his friends, to his chat, and laugh over something stupid that someone said. 

You weren’t living a glamorous life whatsoever, but you were proud of what the two of you built together here. And you sure as hell wouldn’t change it for the world. 

And you never thought you’d have to. 

Not until the news started talking about a virus.

At first, nobody paid much attention. “It's not that serious, they're exaggerating”, Noah had told you one night when you were laying in bed, unable to sleep because you were worried about what may come of it. 

But everyday, there were more headlines. More countries reported more cases of it, more events were cancelled and people were being told to keep their distance from others. They began using words like coronavirus, pandemic, quarantine, lockdown, and you tried not to let it get to you. But you couldn’t help it. 

You began to not feel so good. It was probably nothing, you put it down to exhaustion and stress, maybe you’d worked too hard. But still, it was enough for you to decide not to join the guys on their next leg of the tour. It felt wrong, you’d barely spent any time apart over the last four years, but the night that he left, Noah kissed your forehead and promised he’d be home before you knew it. He’d call every day, he’d text at any moment he could… and as a parting gift, he had given you a ring. 

It wasn’t an engagement ring, but it seemed close enough. It was the one he promised to get for you once he’d saved up a little and you were living comfortably out here. It was a reminder of how much he loves you, and how one day he’ll replace it with a bigger and fancier one- not that you really for that thought. 

So he kissed you one last time, then left. That’d had been one week ago… and now, you were sat curled up on the sofa in one of his hoodies, the TV playing quietly in the background with another news report. You weren’t listening to it though, you were too busy reading a book that one of Noah’s friends, Jesse, had let you borrow. 

But then your phone started ringing, which was strange. Nobody told you they’d call, and Noah was supposed to be on stage. And the moment you saw the name on the screen, you feared for the worst. 

Noah❤️

You quickly answered it. 

“Hey, is everything okay?” You asked, only to be met with silence for a moment. “Noah?”

“Hey, baby. I thought I should let you know I'm coming home…” God, you could hear the disappointment in his voice, then he let out a slow sigh, “They cancelled it.” 

“What?” You asked suddenly, feeling your stomach drop. “The tour?”

“Yeah.” He sighed, and in the background you could hear voices, people shouting, things being dragged across the floor. “They’re sending everyone home,” Noah explained, and he sounded so exhausted- not physically, but emotionally, “I’ve never seen anything like this.” 

You swallowed hard. 

“When are you coming back?” You asked. 

“As soon as I can,” he sighed again, “I just… I don’t know what happens now.” 

“Noah…” You frowned.

“I don’t know when we’re gonna tour again,” he laughed quietly, but there wasn’t any humour in it, “I don’t even know if there’ll be venues left by the time this is over.” 

Your heart broke hearing the fear in his voice, the fear of losing everything he’d worked so hard to build. 

“I’m just fucking terrified that this is it.” He said.

“No it’s not.” You didn’t hesitate to answer, “You hear me? This isn’t the end, Noah. We’ve figured shit out before, and built things up from nothing. So whatever comes next… we’ve got this, okay? We're in this together.”

On the other end of the line, Noah let out a small breath. 

“…I can’t wait to come home.” 

Neither could you.

You just had no idea how long the world was about to stand still. And you had no idea how long you were about to be stuck inside a house with your boyfriend.

· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·

i know i said hedonist is over, which it is!! but i'm writing a mini sequel! it'll be set in 2020, noah's gonna be a streamer and it'll be all about what they get up to during that time!! <3 i haven't written anything for it yet, but i will soon! i've got a few ideas already but if there's anything you want to see in it, like a specific scenario or anything then just let me know :)

・┈・୨୧・┈・

“So… have you had a good time?” Noah asked as you walked hand in hand back to the hotel. You’d be leaving Paris early tomorrow morning, so you two decided to go out for one last fancy dinner, watch the tower sparkle, then make your way back to the hotel. 

“It’s been amazing,” you said, nodding your head, “Thank you, Noah. I really mean it… I’ve needed this.” 

He chuckled, looking down at the ground for a moment before glancing back at you again. 

“What have I told you about thanking me, hm?”

You felt your cheeks suddenly warm, and you gave him a little smile. 

“So…” you said, looking up at the dark night sky, “What’s happening when we get home?”

“What do you mean?” Noah asked. 

You immediately felt shy, which you felt stupid for, since you’ve spent the last four days together. 

“I don’t know,” you said quietly, followed by a shrug, “I guess I’m gonna miss you.”

Noah stopped in his tracks, giving your hand a quick squeeze as you stopped beside him. 

“Baby,” he said with a quiet chuckle, “Just because we’re home doesn't mean we can’t spend time together. You know we live twenty minutes apart, right?”

That earned a reluctant smile from you. 

“That’s not the point.”

“Then what is the point?”

You hesitated for a moment as you wondered that yourself.

The point was that this trip had felt like you were in your own bubble, a perfect little world where neither of you had responsibilities or stress- besides the phone calls Noah had to take every now and then. But it felt like now it was coming to an end, the bubble was inevitably going to pop, and you weren’t sure what was going to happen after it did. 

Noah’s face softened, he had learned to read you over these days, and so he knew right now that you were overthinking. 

“You think this ends when we get home?” 

You didn’t answer that, which answered for you. Noah held his arms open, an invitation for you to step into them. 

“Come here.” He said, and so you did. 

He wrapped his arms around you, the two of you standing in the middle of the street, before pulling back to look you in the eyes. 

“Listen to me.” You did. “When we get home, I’ll still call you.” You smiled, “I’ll still annoy you, I’ll still take you to dinner, I’ll still spend time with you.” 

Your chest felt a little lighter, your heart fluttering at how simply he’d said it, like he didn’t even have to think twice. Then Noah tilted his head slightly as you pulled back.

“And if I remember correctly, you’ve got about fifty shopping bags full of things you need to show off- and I plan on letting you.” 

You chuckled, before taking his hand again as you continued walking back to the hotel. 

“So, what kinda things do you want to do when we’re back home?” Noah asked, and you shrugged. 

“I don’t know. I thought you were the one who comes up with the plans.” 

“Well maybe I want you to take the lead,” he smirked, “C’mon, is there anywhere you wanna visit? Bars or restaurants you want to try? A concert you want to go to?”

You were quiet for a moment, thinking about it. Because there was something… 

“Actually…” You said, earning a grin from him. 

“What is it?”

“There’s a band I've always wanted to see, and they’re playing in our city in a few weeks.”

“Who?” He asked, and you looked up to meet his eyes. 

“Bring Me The Horizon.” 

Noah casually nodded his head, like you’d told him you wanted to go to the grocery store or something. 

“I can get us in.” 

You laughed. 

“No you can’t, all the tickets sold out in like 10 minutes. And I am not letting you give your money to scalpers for overpriced resale tickets.” 

“Oh, I won’t need to, baby.” He said smugly, making you stop in your tracks. 

“So how exactly do you plan on getting us in?” 

Noah just shrugged. 

“Oli owes me a favour.” 

“Oli… Oliver Sykes?” You scoffed, and it was clear Noah was trying not to laugh. 

“Yes.” 

You stared at him, like you were trying to figure out whether to believe him or not. 

“...You know Oli Sykes?”

Noah laughed. 

“Of course I do. My band opened for them a couple years ago. Y'know, I even sung Antivist on stage with him a few times.” 

You shook your head in disbelief. 

“How have you never told me this?”

“You never asked!” 

“Because I didn’t know I needed to ask!” You scoffed in disbelief.

Noah laughed again, and you were still staring up at him, trying to process all this information. You knew his band must’ve been doing well for him to have the money he has, but you didn’t quite realise who Noah was… 

“So you’re telling me… you’re friends with Oli?”

“We’ve worked together and we get along… I don’t know if he’d count me as a friend.” Noah chuckled, suddenly seeming a little shy.

“But you have his number right?” You asked, and Noah nodded his head. “Oh my god, text him!” 

“I can’t text him.” Noah laughed. 

“Please?”

“No.” 

“Pretty please?”

“No,” he chuckled, “He’s probably spending time with his kids or in rehearsals or something.”

You pouted. 

“Just one text? Just check in on him…?”

“I am not texting Oli at nearly midnight because the pretty girl I took to Paris told me to.” 

You let out a long sigh, shaking your head in defeat. 

“Baby,” he said, cupping your cheek in his hand, “I’ll make sure you get to see them, okay?”

“You will?” You smiled, your heart skipping a beat. 

“Of course I will.” He said, pressing a kiss to your forehead. And the excitement on your face must’ve been obvious because when he pulled away, his smile softened. “You got something to look forward to now, huh?”

You nodded as you wrapped your arms around Noah’s neck slowly, pulling him down into a kiss. 

“You better get us a good view.” You whispered against his lips, and he smiled.

“Only the best for you, sweetheart.”

… 

The trip home was too simple, too easy, you were waiting the entire time for something bad to happen- you flight to be delayed, bags to be lost- but no. It went perfectly. 

You slept most of the flight back, your head on Noah’s shoulder, his arm around you as he read his book. You didn’t have to wait too long to collect your luggage either, and before you knew it, you were sitting in the back of a car, on your way back to your apartment. 

However, this was where it would all change. 

Noah, as usual, refused to let you carry anything. You stepped out of the car and he was already lifting suitcases and grabbing bags. He had parked his car at your place before leaving, so he took his things first, throwing them into the back, before picking your bags back up and making his way up to your apartment. 

“How are you not struggling?” You laughed as he juggled everything. 

“I don’t lift weights for nothing, y'know.” He smirked as you dug through one of your bags for your keys. 

You unlocked the door, and the moment you pushed it open… Noah frowned. You were too busy shrugging off and hanging up your jacket to notice, but the further he walked in…

“Does it usually smell damp in here?” Noah asked, his brows slightly furrowed. 

Immediately, your stomach dropped. Because now he said it, you could smell it too- a stale, damp smell lingering in the air. Like the time your washing machine broke and started leaking while you were at work. 

“No… it shouldn’t.” You said quietly, suddenly panicked. 

Carefully, Noah set your bags down by the wall. 

“Stay there a second.” He said, before walking further into your apartment. 

The living room looked fine, but as he walked into the kitchen, his heart stopped. He called your name, and you followed him down the hallway, the smell getting stronger with each step. 

“What is it?” You asked, but when you spotted him, he was staring up at the ceiling in silence. 

Your heart started racing. The ceiling was stained brown, the paint bubbling in some spots, and in the corner by the wall it was slightly sagging. There were water marks running down the wall, water soaking the counters- 

“What the fuck…” You said in disbelief, taking a step forward. 

“Careful.” Noah reached out, catching your arm. 

Then you looked down. The floor was soaked. 

This had happened here once before, but not to this extreme. Your upstairs neighbour has had quite a few plumbing problems in the time you’ve been here. Thankfully last time you caught it in time before it could get any worse, but you remembered they were currently on vacation in Spain, and you had been gone for four days. There had been nobody to catch it this time. 

“Is that your bathroom?” Noah asked, nodding towards the door. 

“Yeah.” You said as you followed him towards it… 

It was even worse than you could’ve imagined. Paint was peeling, part of the ceiling had bowed downwards, water dripping onto the closed toilet lid. 

You wrapped your arms around yourself, suddenly feeling cold and stressed and overwhelmed. This was your safe space, your little apartment, the place you’d been looking forward to returning to after your trip. But it didn’t feel like yours like this. 

“Should we check the bedroom?” Noah asked carefully. 

You didn’t want to. You wanted to leave that door shut and pretend it couldn’t possibly be any worse… but you knew it was going to be bad. So you followed him again, and slowly pushed the door open. 

“Oh...” You said quietly, your heart sinking.

This room was the worst. Part of the ceiling above one side of your bed had collapsed, plaster and insulation all over your floor and bed. The wall closest to the bathroom was soaked, wallpaper peeling away from the wall, and your bedside table was ruined. The lamp sitting on it was tilted awkwardly beneath the fallen debris. 

What the hell had happened upstairs to cause this?

You just stood there, staring at it. Trying to process it. It was like all the excitement of Paris, the shopping, the laughter, the dinners, the joy you had felt, it had all been left on the other side of the ocean. 

Noah took a careful step closer, and after a moment, you felt his hand slide into yours. Your fingers wrapped around his, and then you looked down at them… then back up at him. Your vision started to blur, not because of your home, but because everything had been so perfect… it seemed the universe always hated you having nice things. 

“We'll sort this.” Noah said, his voice calm and firm, the tone he used all weekend whenever your mind started to run away with itself.

“But-”

Noah shook his head, cutting you off. 

“Call your landlord.” He said, and you nodded your head, “I’ll get some photos of it for you.” 

You nodded your head, swallowing hard as you reached into your pocket for your phone. 

“Then you come home with me.” 

Your head shot up.

“Noah, you've just spent all weekend with me!” You laughed in disbelief. 

But his expression didn’t change. 

“And…?”

You folded your arms, staring at him. 

“I dunno. You’ve probably had enough of me.” 

Yeah, that earned you a look. One that told you he’d found what you said ridiculous. 

“So where else are you gonna stay?” He asked, folding his own arms. 

“...I’ll figure something out. I’ll stay with Tom.” 

“Yeah?”

You paused for a moment, remembering what he had told you last week. 

“...Or I would. If his sister wasn’t there.”

Noah let out a chuckle as you dropped your head into your hands. He reached out, sliding an arm around your shoulder and pulling you into him. 

“Grab some more clothes or whatever you need, I’ll get some photos of the damage to send to your landlord.” He pulled back to look at your face, “Then I’m taking you home. No arguments.” 

You let out a long sigh. You didn’t want him to feel obliged, like he had to take you in out of guilt or politeness. But a part of you knew it wasn’t that way. He just wanted to make sure you’re okay, to look after you and make things easier. 

“I know what you’re thinking. Stop worrying about being a burden.” He said quietly as he tucked a loose strand of hair behind your ear, “I want you to come home with me.”

"Okay." You said finally, earning a smile from him.

…

You spent the next hour frantically packing and waiting for your landlord to pick up the phone. Noah took photos of everything for you- the kitchen, the bathroom, the bedroom, the ceilings and the water damage creeping down the walls. Every time you thought he’d finished, he’d find something else that needed documenting.

Your landlord sounded horrified when he finally picked up. Apparently your upstairs neighbour had been impossible to contact for the last few days, and there had been concerns about a leak for a while now, after several complaints were made about a damp smell coming from their floor. But nobody had realised quite how bad it was. 

By the time the call ended, you were told someone would be coming out tomorrow to inspect it, insurance would be involved, and nobody could tell you how long repairs would take. Days, weeks, possibly even longer. You didn’t really hear much after that, you just knew you couldn’t stay here. So you packed some more. 

You packed things that were valuable, things that felt important. You were sure you’d be given the chance to come back and get the rest, but even Noah was telling you to take as much as you could today. He told you he had the room to store things for you if you needed. 

Though every time you added something to your bag, a voice in the back of your mind kept whispering the same thing.

You’re imposing. You’re going to outstay your welcome. You’re going to become a burden. He’s just too kind to say it to your face. 

Noah seemed to sense every single one of those thoughts without you saying a word, because when he found you standing in your bedroom staring blankly at a pile of clothes, he took the bag from your hands and started folding things himself. When you’d tried to carry your own bags back downstairs, he’d taken them too. When you’d apologised for the fifth time, he just looked at you… and that was enough to stop you mid apology. 

Now, thirty minutes later, you were pulling into Noah’s driveway. You were still blown away every time you looked at his house, it was so nice, the garden was so tidy, it was all just so perfect- and this was just the outside. 

“You okay?” Noah asked as he parked the car. 

“Mhm.” You hummed, before getting out. 

This time you insisted on helping him bring things in, since he didn’t only have your things in the car but his own too. So you grabbed his suitcase and poked your tongue out as if to say you can’t stop me and dragged it up the path. 

The moment you stepped inside, you were greeted with the homely scent of laundry detergent and whatever fancy air freshener he had plugged into the wall. You let out a long sigh as you set his bag down, because despite already going back to your place, you finally felt like you were at home. 

However, Noah wasn’t wasting any time. He carefully passed you, and headed up the stairs, carrying all the bags so easily. 

“Show off.” You chuckled under your breath. 

“I heard that.” He laughed from upstairs. 

A smile crept up on your face, and you followed him up the stairs… he had stopped just outside one of the rooms, set your bags down, and turned to look at you with a smile. 

“Right…” 

You immediately became suspicious.

“What?”

He shoved his hands into his pockets.

“Important question, would you rather stay in the guest room…” He gestured towards the door at the end of the hallway, “…or stay in here with me?”

The question caught you off guard, you didn't realise you were going to have to choose. You looked away for a moment, towards the bags, towards the floor- anywhere but him. Because the answer was embarrassingly obvious. 

You didn’t really want the guest room. Not after Paris. Not after falling asleep wrapped up in his arms. Not after waking up to sleepy kisses and coffee and his hand reaching for yours before either of you were fully awake.

The idea of sleeping alone suddenly felt strangely disappointing, and lonely… but at the same time, you didn’t want to feel like you were taking over his place suddenly. 

When you finally looked back at him, Noah’s expression softened, and he could tell what you were thinking through your hesitation.

“Why don’t we at least put your things in the guest room,” he said as he reached for your bags again, “So you’ve got your own space if you need it.” 

The words made your chest ache and feel soft both at the same time, god he was so considerate. He wasn’t pushing you one way or another, he was giving you the option, giving you a space that felt like yours, somewhere you could shut the door and sit by yourself and just breathe if you needed to. 

He pushed the door open and set the bags down by the bottom of the bed. 

“Feel free to unpack, take over the wardrobe and drawers, make it feel like home- you can even redecorate the place if you want.” He chuckled. 

“I’m not redecorating your guest room.” You smiled, “It’s lovely.” 

The room wasn’t huge, but it felt cozy. There was a big bed with fresh white sheets, a rather big dresser, and a window that overlooked the garden. It felt more like a hotel room than a spare bedroom- of course it did, everything Noah owned was unnecessarily nice. 

Noah brought the last of your bags up as you looked around, and despite yourself, you started feeling a little bit better. Sure, it wasn’t home, but you felt comfortable here already. 

“There,” Noah said as he set the last couple bags down, “And if you decide later that you want to crawl into bed with me… I won’t complain.” Noah smirked. 

You rolled your eyes. 

“Who said I want to spend another night with you?” You teased. 

“Hey, you were the one who didn’t want to come home from Paris because you’d miss me too much.”

“I never said that!” 

“Mm, you implied it, baby.” He said, his grin only widening. 

But then, before you could continue the argument, he reached out and gently squeezed your shoulder, the teasing fading a little.

“Everything’s gonna be okay, y’know.” He said, his voice a little softer. “Go unpack, take a shower- use the one in my room if you want, it’s less claustrophobic- and just make yourself at home, okay?” 

You nodded your head. 

“And what are you doing?”

“I’ll be downstairs, either in the studio or the kitchen. Just come find me when you’re done… if you want. Or take a nap, I noticed you were yawning in the car. Do whatever you want, okay baby?” He said with a kiss to your forehead before turning around and softly shutting the door behind him, leaving you standing alone in the guest room.

For a moment, you just stood there, letting the day sink in. Only this morning you were waking up in his arms in Paris, and although you didn’t really want to come home, you didn’t consider that you may not even have your own home to come back to. 

So you unpacked a few things until you found the bag of toiletries you took to Paris, then you grabbed a clean pair of pyjamas and stepped out of the room. Then your eyes drifted down the hallway, towards his bedroom. 

He told you to use his shower, though it felt a little weird… either way, curiosity for the better of you, and you pushed the door open. 

Immediately, you noticed his room felt very Noah. Not because it was particularly extravagant, but actually the opposite. It was clean and tidy without feeling sterile, comfortable without feeling messy. There were black curtains and dark wood furniture, a large bed with navy sheets that looked almost too inviting. In the corner of the room there was a bookshelf filled with books and little figures that you guessed were from a TV show he liked. 

A guitar rested against one wall, and on his dresser there were a couple framed photographs of what you guessed were him and his friends… except when you looked closer at the picture, you realised one of the guys in it had his face, but his hair was almost at his waist. Was that Noah? 

You just took in the room around you, and suddenly you were thinking about how this was the room he’d slept in every night while you were at home. The room he’d disappeared into after stressful days. The room he’d probably spent countless hours lying awake in, overthinking the same way you did.

For some reason, that thought made your heart feel strangely warm.

Then your attention drifted toward his bathroom.

Oh wow…

The shower alone was probably bigger than your entire bathroom at home. You shook your head and laughed quietly to yourself before stepping inside. 

You shut the door behind you, and started to undress. Then you turned the water on and waited a moment for it to warm up, and when you finally stood under it, it felt incredible. 

You definitely stayed in there longer than you meant to, letting the water wash away the unexpected stress of the day. For a little while, you managed not to think about any of it, you just stood there, feeling the hot water wash over you, letting out a long sigh. 

When you finally stepped out, you felt a lot better. You dried your hair, dried yourself and pulled on your tank top and sleep shorts, then glanced at yourself in the mirror. 

You could get used to this… 

Then you took a breath, put your things back in the guest room, and headed downstairs. The house was quiet, and you weren’t sure where to find Noah… but you could hear music coming quietly from somewhere. 

You followed the sound until you reached an open door near the back of the house. This must’ve been the studio. You knocked gently, then you heard him call out, come in. 

You pushed it open, and Noah was sitting at a large desk surrounded by screens, speakers, notebooks and so much equipment that you didn’t even know what half of it was or what it did. As you shut the door behind you, he looked over at you, and a smile crept up on his lips. 

“Hi, baby.”

Fuck, the way he’s been speaking to you lately had been making you feel a little weak in the knees. 

“What are you working on?” You asked as you stepped closer to him. 

“I’ve been trying to get the pitch right on a certain part, I got an idea for it yesterday that I wanted to try, so I told myself I’d try it out as soon as I got back… but it’s still not working.”

You gave a sympathetic smile, and then you noticed his eyes slowly travelling over you, taking you in. 

“Feeling better?” He asked. 

“A little.” You nodded. 

“Good.” Then he held one arm out toward you. “Come here.”

You smiled.

“What?”

“Come here.”

You closed the space, and before you could even ask what he wanted, Noah gently caught your hand and guided you toward him. Then patted his thigh, and your cheeks suddenly warmed. 

“You have chairs.” You pointed out. 

“I know.” 

You tried not to smile, but completely failed. You didn’t even attempt to argue, because quite frankly his lap looked rather inviting. So you carefully settled onto his lap, your legs either side of him, and you felt Noah wrap an arm around your waist. You moved about slightly until you were comfortable, then buried your face in his neck, breathing him in.

Noah and you both let out a content little sound.

“There.” He said quietly, his chin resting gently on the top of your shoulder, one hand holding you tightly, the other navigating whatever project was open on his screen. 

Neither of you said much for a while, you just sat there, letting your eyes fall shut, feeling more at peace than ever before, listening to the music softly playing through the studio speakers, feeling the steady rise and fall of his breathing beneath your chest. After everything that had happened today, this was just what you needed.

Eventually though, Noah glanced at you.

“Comfortable?”

You nodded against his shoulder.

“Mhm.” You hummed, not even bothering to open your eyes. 

A small smile appeared on his face.

“Good.”

And as his arm tightened around your waist, you realised you hadn’t thought about your apartment in at least ten minutes. Which, considering the day you’d had, was probably Noah’s goal all along.

Every now and then, he’d reach for the mouse, or his hand would leave you so he could type something on the keyboard- but other than that, he barely moved. It felt so comfortable, so safe, so nice.

But after a while, your mouth started feeling a little dry. You remembered you’d barely drank anything all day, so you softly wriggled a little and lifted your head from his shoulder. 

“Noah?”

“Mm?”

“Can I get a drink?”

You were more than prepared to get up yourself, expecting him to point you towards the kitchen and tell you where the glasses were, maybe explain where he kept things. But instead, he lifted his brows and gently moved you from his lap to the sofa beside him. 

“‘Course, what do you want, baby?”

A smile tugged at your lips, because of course he wouldn’t let you get up to get it yourself. You were starting to learn these things about him. 

“Just water, please.” You said, looking up at him through your lashes. 

He nodded his head, then leaned down to press a quick kiss to your forehead. 

“Good girl,” he said, casually and quietly, “Such good manners.”

The words had left his mouth so easily that for a moment you weren’t entirely sure you had heard him right… especially since Noah seemed so oblivious to what he had just done, to the effect his words had on you as he disappeared off into the kitchen. 

Meanwhile you were left there in the studio, your brain unable to function properly. It wasn’t even that nobody had ever complimented you before, that was a total lie, but this just felt different. The approval in his voice almost made your head spin, you felt all warm and fuzzy inside in a way you couldn’t quite explain. But there was one thing you knew for certain. 

You liked it. A lot. 

A few minutes later, Noah returned carrying a glass of water, and the moment he walked back into the room, he noticed the look on your face.

“You alright there?” He smirked. 

You blinked.

“Hm?”

“Exactly.” A laugh escaped him as he handed you the glass. “You look like you’ve just seen a ghost.”

You quickly took the water, ignoring his comment. 

“Thank you.”

“And there they are again.”

You looked up.

“What?”

“Your manners.” A grin spread across his face. “I like them.”

Your cheeks immediately felt warmer, and you swallowed hard before saying,

“Most people have manners.” 

“True.” He settled back into his chair. “But yours are particularly cute.”

You nearly choked on your water, and Noah’s eyes widened as he spun his chair around to face you. 

“Hey.” He immediately reached over to pat your back. “You okay?”

You nodded too quickly.

“Mhm.”

“You sure?”

“Yep.” You said, popping the p, trying to act casual.

The concern slowly faded from his face, and to make things even worse, it was replaced by amusement. 

“You’re acting weird.”

“No I’m not.”

“Yes you are.”

You deliberately focused on taking another sip of water, and Noah just watched you for a moment… then he slowly narrowed his eyes.

“Oh…”

Your stomach dropped.

“What?”

A smirk started forming on his lips. 

“What?” You repeated, but his smile only widened.

“You’ve gone shy.” 

“I’ve not.”

“You have.”

“Noah-”

“Baby.” The grin was fully there now. “Wanna tell me what’s got you so flustered?”

You didn’t answer that, but you didn’t need to. You knew he already knew. 

“Wanna be a good girl and tell me why you’re blushing?”

“I’m-” You went to speak but immediately stumbled on your words, making you feel even more shy, and making his grin even more smug. 

Oh yeah. The bastard knew exactly what he was doing. 

…

At some point later in the evening, you’d ended up back in Noah’s lap again. Neither of you said anything about it, you’d just gotten cold and didn’t want to go upstairs to grab a hoodie. 

You quickly learned that Noah liked to keep his house at a temperature that felt so low it should be a health hazard, and after shivering through half an hour on the sofa, you’d eventually climbed back onto his lap with a quiet complaint about freezing to death.

His response had been to laugh and wrap an arm around your waist and pull you closer, so now you were curled up against him again while he worked, listening to the soft click of his mouse and the occasional tap of his keyboard.

It was comfortable- he was comfortable, so much that you felt yourself relax in his arms. So comfortable that a yawn escaped you… 

Followed shortly by another, which made Noah glance at you with a small smile. 

“Tired?”

You shook your head.

“Nuh-uh.”

Noah chuckled, knowing that was clearly a lie, and went back to working. But ten minutes later another yawn escaped, a longer one this time. Noah looked at you again, at some point his hand had slid up your top, and his thumb rubbed back and forth against your skin. 

“You wanna go to bed, baby?” He asked. 

The question was casual and gentle, like he was asking you whether you wanted another glass of water… but you didn’t think of it like that. Your stomach sank, because your brain always worked against you, and it was now telling you this was his way of telling you he wanted his space. You’ve been practically attached to him all evening, this was just him being polite. 

However, the logical part of you knew that was ridiculous, Noah had been nothing but kind to you all day. But it was easier to believe you’d overstayed your welcome than believe somebody genuinely wanted you around all the time…

“Yeah, probably.” You said, followed by another yawn. 

He smiled softly.

“Okay.” He said, but then returned his attention to the screen.

Which told you this wasn’t a big deal to him, he was thinking about it half as much as you were. You’d somehow convinced yourself he’d finally had enough of holding you in his lap all day like a clingy little koala, when all he was doing was waiting for whatever he was working on to save before shutting down his computer. 

But still, you carefully climbed off his lap, and you immediately felt how cold the room really was again.

“Night.” You said softly.

Noah looked up.

“Night?”

You nodded before picking up your water, leaving the room, and heading upstairs. 

You were trying not to feel disappointed, not to feel silly, because you had your own room here- a lovely, comfortable, cozy room- which if it wasn’t for him you could’ve been spending the night on Tom’s couch. 

So there was absolutely no reason for your chest to ache as you walked in, no reason for you to miss him while you brushed your teeth, no reason to stare at the empty side of the bed after climbing in. 

And yet, you did. 

With a sigh, you rolled onto your side and pulled the covers up to your chin. You’d spent pretty much every waking moment together for the last few days, of course he’d want some time to himself. 

For a while you laid there in the silence, staring at the wall, until you heard footsteps on the stairs. You couldn’t help but listen, he must’ve wandered into his room and- stop listening, you told yourself.

You buried your face into the pillow, trying not to think about any of it. Trying not to think about the way you’ve gotten so used to falling asleep with your head on his chest, his arm around you, the sound of his heart beating beneath your ear. 

It had gone quiet again for a while, you assumed he must’ve just gone to bed. You assumed he’d be asleep within ten minutes because you had both been up for quite a while now. 

But then you heard footsteps again. Then there was a gentle knock on your door. 

“Are you still awake?”

“...Maybe?”

“Can I come in.”

“Yeah.” 

The handle turned, and there stood Noah- fresh from the shower, dark hair still damp, grey sweatpants hanging low on his hips and a black tshirt that fit like it was made just for him. For a moment, he just looked at you lying there in bed, then the corner of his mouth lifted. 

“I was wondering where you’d disappeared to.” 

Your tummy did a stupid flip at that. 

“What?”

“It’s fine if you want your own bed, baby.” He said, his voice as gentle and easy as ever, “But you do know mine’s comfier, right?”

“Oh yeah?”

“Mmhm.” Noah nodded, “Wanna test it for yourself if you don’t believe me?”

You couldn’t help but scoff. Of course he’d find a way to make you feel better in less than thirty seconds. 

But then your smile slightly faded, and you looked down at the bed again. 

“Are you okay?” He asked, sensing the shift. 

“I thought you wanted some space. I’ve been clung to you all evening.” You admitted quietly, and for a moment Noah was silent. Until he let out a soft sigh. 

“Baby,” he said, making you look up at him again, “If I want space, I’ll tell you, okay? I promise. You don’t ever have to assume, or guess what I’m thinking.” 

It was your turn to sigh now, because the truth was, you spent so much of your life trying to anticipate what people wanted from you before they had to ask. Having to guess what people were feeling, trying to read body language and trying to sense what they were thinking through their tone of voice. 

Noah seemed to understand that without you ever having to explain it.

“Look at me.” 

You met his eyes again. 

“What did I actually say when we were in the studio?”

“You asked if I wanted to go to bed.” 

“Right. And did I say I wanted you to leave? Did I say you were being too much?”

“...No.” 

“Then don’t put words in my mouth, baby. If something is ever a problem, I will tell you.” He said with a soft smile, before holding his hand out to you. “Come on.” 

You looked at his hand, then at him. Then you sat up. 

“You really want me in your bed?”

Noah laughed.

“Sweetheart.” The way he said it made your stomach flutter. “I wouldn’t be in here trying to persuade you if I didn’t.”

You couldn’t really argue with that.

A smile tugged at your lips as you took his hand, and the moment your fingers slipped into his, he gently helped you out of bed. His thumb brushed across your knuckles once before he started leading you towards the door, then down the hallway to his bedroom. 

As he pushed the door open and led you in, you were a little taken back by how cozy it suddenly felt. The curtains were closed, the lamp by the side of his bed made the room glow golden and the smell of his shower gel lingered from the bathroom. 

Noah got into bed first, and pulled the covers back for you, patting the mattress. You chuckled and got in too, and right away you realised he’d been right. The mattress was like a cloud, and the pillows were even nicer than the ones in the hotel in Paris. It put your bed to shame, that was for sure. 

Noah opened an arm, and you rolled towards him, tucking yourself into his chest. Noah made a little pleased sound before wrapping both his arms around you and kissing the top of your head. 

“And I thought I was being the clingy one.” You teased softly, and Noah chuckled. 

“Mm, no.” He said, pressing another kiss on your forehead this time and holding you tighter. 

Then your temple, then your cheek. You tilted your head up, looking at him with sleepy eyes as you let out a little giggle. 

“Noah!” 

“What?”

“You’re proving my point.” 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” He said with a small smirk before kissing you again, before finally stopping, and just holding you there like that. “Wanna watch a movie or something? Or d’ya wanna just go to sleep? It’s been a long day.” 

You hummed in thought, just listening to the sound of his heartbeat for a moment before looking up at him again with wide, almost frightened eyes.

“Shit... I forgot I’ve got work tomorrow.” 

“Oh yeah?”

You groaned and buried your face back into his chest. 

“You know, you can always-”

“No. I’m not quitting my job, Noah. It’d drive me insane.” 

You felt his chest vibrate as he let out a quiet laugh. But then he was quiet for a moment, his fingers gently running through your hair. 

“Want me to take you?”

You looked up at him again. 

“You don’t have to.” 

“I know.” 

“You’ll have to get up early.” 

“I know. And I don’t care. What time do you need to get there?”

“...Eight.” 

“And what time do you need picking up after?”

“Noah, you don’t have to-” 

“What time, baby?”

You sighed. 

“We shut at six tomorrow.” 

Noah nodded his head, then kissed your forehead again. 

“Okay.” 

“...Are you sure that’s okay.” 

Noah let out a sigh, then before you knew it, he was taking your face in both his hands. He wasn’t rough, but he was firm, making sure you couldn’t immediately look away. 

“Sweetheart…” His thumbs brushed softly across your cheeks.

“What?”

“What were we talking about five minutes ago?”

You groaned, trying to look away, but he stopped you.

“No,” he said softly, “What did I say?”

“You said if something was a problem then you’d tell me.” 

“Good girl.” He said simply, a smile tugging on his lips, completely oblivious to the way those two little words make your head spin. 

Or maybe he did realise?

He leaned forward just a little, his nose bumping yours, his lips just brushing yours without kissing you. 

“Are you done worrying for tonight?”

You smiled against his lips despite yourself, and gently nodded your head. 

“Yes sir.” You whispered teasingly. 

You felt Noah smile back, before pressing a slow kiss to your lips. Then he pulled back, and pulled the covers a little higher over the both of you before reaching over to turn the lamp off. 

You made yourself comfy on his chest, and he held you close, letting out a soft sigh of relief as his free hand rested behind his head. 

“Goodnight, Noah.” You whispered as you let your eyes finally shut. 

“Sweet dreams, princess.” 

・┈・୨୧・┈・

i desperately need you guys's opinions on something real quick, i feel like i've been soft launching a dom/sub relationship for these two and i want to know if that's something you want to see in this story or not 🤭 i'd love to write it, but it's not something you're interested in then i won't! i know the majority will say yes, but i'm literally velvet!reader i need reassurance that this is a good idea lmao 😭

taglist: @lowergroundfloor @mrslumi @mapsychoticimagination @meddleabout2 @astronoids @pipidoll @bartxnhood @dominuslunae @stardustsirenmelody @haileebluee @curse-bearing-hips @vintagemisery---blog @noahsstrawberry @shuiguans @fadingintothegrey @mushrumink @hayleylatour @death-ofpeace-ofmind @r3prise @novainpolaroids @eclipseeetop @leosunshine @miss570 @ami-gami @sleepycactus-omens @innerconnoisseurhologram @theservantbones @my-perfect-weapon @bassvivz @sullyselena @iamnotyourstoperceive @givemesomethingbeautiful @itsfarbettertolearn @enbytarin @overmydeadbodysblog @yabagoobieberg @museonfilm @wormm-mom @bridemassacre @lifeirreverent @montgomery-929496 @dead-astrid @gayfiretruck @death-core-fairy @icybansheesoul @acatatonicpeace

You glared at him, but he stared back just as stubbornly, and after the longest five seconds of your life passed you let out a huff and finally got up. You got in his car and slammed the door shut hard enough to earn a look from Noah as he got back in. 

“You wanna tell me why I had to leave my place at 1:30 in the morning to come pick you up? Why I got a call saying you’ve been kicked out of a party?” 

“Some girl was talking shit.” You huffed, looking out the window. 

“About you?” He asked, sounding almost amused as he watched the road in front of him.

“About you.” 

That made him glance over, now intrigued. He had been told you got into a fight with a girl, but he hadn’t been told what it was about. 

“I overheard her talking about you. She was saying if she didn’t find anyone at the party to take home, she’d call you. Because apparently you’re the community dick, and every girl at the party has had a turn on you. Called you the town bicycle.” 

Noah couldn’t hold back his laugh, one hand on the wheel, the other now resting on your thigh. 

“Community dick, huh?” He smirked, “That’s a new one. I like it.” 

You shot him a glare. 

“You think it’s funny?”

“Oh, babe, I think it’s hilarious,” he said, still smirking, “Especially since you got in a fight over it. Sounds like you got jealous.” 

“I wasn’t jealous.” You snapped, “I was just pissed off. She was talking like you’re some kind of free use whore for the whole city. It wouldn’t have annoyed me so much if she wasn’t making fun of you for it.” 

Noah’s smirk only grew wider as he gave your thigh a squeeze, before sliding his hand up a little higher under your dress. 

“Mm, it’s whatever,” he said, “I just think it’s so cute you were out there defending my honour.” 

You smacked his hand away, but he just put it right back. 

“You’re such an asshole.” You hissed. 

“Yeah?” He glanced sideways at you, “But I’m your asshole now, aren’t I?” 

You rolled your eyes, but as Noah’s hand slid a little higher you couldn’t help but press your thighs together out of instinct. 

“Aw, don’t get shy now, baby,” he teased, his voice dripping with arrogance, “You went and got in a fight with a girl because she thought she could have me whenever she wanted… when we both know this dick only belongs to one girl these days...” 

His fingers brushed over your panties, teasing you through the thin fabric, rubbing slow circles over your clit. You tried not to react, you tried to stay still, but you couldn’t help but rock your hips slightly into his touch. 

“Noah… we can’t, stop.” You breathed, your voice so quiet he almost didn’t hear you. 

Noah smirked, his eyes still on the road. 

“Make me.” 

You hated how quickly your body gave in, and your legs parted a little for him. His fingers then slid under the edge of your panties, finding you soaked already.

He let out a cocky chuckle. 

“Shit, all that fighting over my dick got you this wet?”

“Shut the fuck up.” You hissed, but your voice broke into a small whimper as he easily slid one finger inside you without warning. Noah groaned softly, curling his finger as he drove. 

“Always so fucking tight, baby… so wet for someone who claims to hate me.” 

A second finger joined his first, stretching you open while his thumb rubbed your clit. You reached over, palming his cock over his sweatpants. He was half hard already, and you gave him a squeeze before stroking him through the fabric, trying to regain some control. 

Noah’s breath suddenly hitched, but he kept driving, and kept pumping his fingers slowly in and out of your pussy. 

“Careful baby, I’m driving,” he warned, though his voice was still smug. “You really wanna make me crash just because you’re horny?”

You kept stroking him anyway, and the car was now filled with the wet sounds of his fingers fucking you and your shaky breathing as you tried not to show just what he was doing to you. 

“Fuck-” You moaned quietly, your hips rolling against his hand as you gave his cock another squeeze. 

Noah glanced around, there were no cars or people anywhere, so he pulled onto the side of the road and slammed the brakes on. 

“Backseat. Now.” 

You didn’t argue. 

You both got out and climbed into the back, and the second the doors shut, Noah grabbed you roughly, pulling you onto his lap. He pushed your dress up to your waist and tugged your panties to the side roughly. 

“C’mon, baby,” he said as he pushed his own pants down, his dick springing out hard and flushed, “Ride it. Show me why you own this dick.” 

You glared at him even as you reached between you, wrapping your fingers around his thick cock and slowly sank down on him in one go, taking every inch until your ass met his thighs. 

A soft moan left your lips as you felt him twitch inside you, and Noah groaned, his hands gripping your ass hard. You started moving, fucking yourself on him in agressive bounces- and Noah smirked up at you, clearly loving it. 

“Uh huh… just like that. Show me how much you hate the idea of anyone else getting this cock.” He said with a hard slap on your ass.

You let out a surprised noise at that, and changed your pace, grinding slow and hard, your lips finding his neck as you his hands reached for the zip on the back of your dress, slowly tugging it down.

You pulled away slightly when you felt his calloused fingertips slide the straps slowly down your shoulders and pulling the dress down, leaving your tits exposed. He let out a groan, immediately reaching for your breasts before leaning in and sucking one of your nipples into his mouth, biting down lightly, just enough to make you whimper and grab at his hair.

・┈・୨୧・┈・

When you woke up, the room was still dark. You could tell the sun would soon be rising, the way the sky was beginning to get lighter, the light peeking through the edge of the curtains.

For a few moments you stayed exactly where you were, warm beneath the covers, Noah’s arm still draped around you from where he’d fallen asleep holding you. You smiled to yourself as you replayed last night- and the entirety of yesterday- over in your head. 

But then the smile slowly started to fade, because the second your mind caught up properly, you really remembered last night. Not just the way he touched you, or the bath afterwards, or how soft he became later when he held you against his chest like he didn’t want to let go…

But the things he’d said. The way his voice had dropped lower as he whispered filth into your ear, it was hot and teasing at first… until it became something almost colder. 

This is what I’m paying for.

At the time you were caught up in him and the heat of everything, but now in the quiet of the morning it replayed differently in your head. And the more you thought about it, the more it twisted… because you didn’t know if he meant it, if that was all this was to him.

He could’ve lied all along about having no expectations to get you right where he wanted you- and you were so stupid for falling for it. You were just a pretty girl he flew to Paris and spoiled for the weekend in return for sex.

You felt sick at the thought of it. 

Carefully, trying not to wake him, you turned onto your other side until your back faced him instead, pulling the blankets a little higher around yourself.

You stared at the wall silently, overthinking every little thing. The kisses, the teasing, the softness afterward. Whether any of it had actually meant something.

Behind you, Noah stirred in his sleep, his arm tightening around your waist for a second before relaxing again.

Your eyes shut for a moment and you told yourself to go back to sleep… but it was impossible. Because no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t shut your brain off. 

A little while later, you felt movement behind you again. The mattress dipped slightly as Noah leaned closer, still warm and sleepy, and then you felt his lips brush softly against your bare shoulder with a lazy, absentminded kiss. Like he assumed you were still asleep.

Your heart ached.

He stayed there for another second before pulling away, and you listened as he climbed out of bed with a small groan and then disappeared into the bathroom. 

The sound of the shower started not long after, and you stayed exactly where you were. And by the time the water shut off, your stomach was tied in knots. You heard drawers opening, the soft rustling of movement, then eventually the bathroom door opened again.

You didn’t turn around, you didn’t move at all, but a second later, Noah’s voice cut softly through the silence.

“I know you’re awake, by the way.”

Your heart began to pick up as you slowly rolled onto your back, finally looking over.

He was standing near the bathroom doorway with a towel hanging low around his hips, his hair damp from the shower, shaving cream still spread across one side of his jaw where he clearly hadn’t finished yet.

But despite how unfairly attractive he looked, his expression had already changed into something more concerned. 

“Is everything okay?” He asked quietly.

“Yeah.” You said automatically, the lie coming out before you even thought about how to tell him the truth. And judging by the way his brows pulled together slightly, he knew you were lying. 

Noah held your gaze for another second, like he was trying to decide whether to push it or not. Then, gently, he nodded.

“Okay,” he said quietly, though it was obvious he didn’t fully believe you.

He grabbed his phone and disappeared back into the bathroom a moment later, and you heard the tap running again, the soft scrape of the razor against his skin while you stayed wrapped up beneath the covers, staring at the bathroom door.

Your chest still felt tight, because part of you wanted to brush it off, tell yourself you were overthinking, pretend you hadn’t been bothered by it at all.

But another part of you couldn’t stop hearing it in your mind, replaying it over and over. 

This is what I’m paying for.

Eventually, you pushed the covers back and climbed out of bed slowly, your tank top slipping slightly off one shoulder as you wandered towards the bathroom.

Noah looked up through the mirror the second you appeared behind him.

“There you are,” he said, rinsing the razor beneath the water before glancing at you properly. “C’mere.”

You stepped closer, stopping beside the sink while he turned slightly toward you. He wrapped an arm around you, pulling you into a hug before kissing your forehead. But when he pulled back, his eyes scanned your face carefully. Then his hand came up, brushing gently along your arm.

“Last night wasn’t too much, was it?” He asked quietly. 

The question caught you a little off guard, and when you hesitated, his brows furrowed slightly. 

“I just wanna make sure you’re okay,” he said, voice softer now. “You’ve seemed different this morning...”

Your stomach twisted, because now you had to decide whether you just lie about it and pretend everything's normal, or tell him the truth- though it’d feel a little awkward. 

You took in a breath, before shaking your head. 

“No, it wasn’t too much,” you said quietly. Then after a second you added, “…but there is something I wanted to talk about.”

Immediately, his full attention settled on you.

“Okay,” he said gently. “What is it?”

You opened your mouth, and then his phone started ringing. The sound cut through the quiet room, making both of you glance toward it on the counter.

Noah groaned under his breath.

“Sorry.” He shook his head, already sounding annoyed by it, “It doesn’t matter, what do you want to talk about?”

But the phone kept ringing, and you couldn’t ignore it. So you looked away and took a step back. 

“It’s okay,” you said quietly. “You should get that.”

He hesitated, and for a moment longer he looked like he was considering ignoring it. But then the ringing stopped… only to start again. It must’ve been something important. 

“…I’ll be two minutes,” he promised, his eyes drifting back to you carefully. “Then we’ll talk, okay?”

You forced a small smile.

“Okay.”

He reached for your hand and gave it a quick squeeze before taking his phone and heading back out into the room to answer it, leaving you standing alone in the bathroom while your heart sank just a little at the timing. You stayed there for a moment, just staring at yourself in the mirror while the muffled sound of Noah’s voice carried from the other room. 

You couldn’t help but notice how different he sounded over the phone- more closed off and professional. It reminded you again that there were parts of his life you still didn’t have any idea about, parts he didn’t want to talk about, he didn’t want to share with you. 

You sighed softly and turned away from the mirror, deciding to at least use the bathroom while he was busy in there. By the time you finished and washed your hands, he sounded quieter now, like he was trying to wrap up the call. 

When you stepped back into the bedroom, Noah was sitting on the edge of his bed with his phone beside him on the bed, his elbows resting on his knees. But the moment he spotted you, he looked up, and whatever tension had settled into his face during the call softened when he met your eyes.

“Sorry about that,” he said quietly as you walked closer, and Noah reached for your hand the second you were within reach, his fingers wrapping gently around yours. “It was something to do with work. I won’t bore you with the details.” 

“It’s okay.” You said with a quiet huff of a laugh… but Noah was watching your face, like he was trying to figure out how you were feeling. 

But instead, his thumb brushed over your knuckles before he asked softly,

“Do you wanna order room service for breakfast?”

The question caught you off guard slightly, mostly because of how normal it sounded after the heaviness hanging between you, but you nodded anyway. 

“Sure.” 

“What’re you feeling?” He asked. 

You shrugged a little, still sleepy, still not fully emotionally recovered from waking up and already being in your own head.

“I dunno… coffee for sure.”

That got the smallest smile out of him.

“Okay, coffee. Anything else?”

You thought for a second before smiling,

“A croissant, maybe?”

“Of course,” he said as he stood up, reaching for the room service menu before sitting back down again, gently tugging you closer until you were standing between his knees. “C’mere,” he whispered distractedly while scanning the menu. “You look like you still need cuddles.”

Your heart squeezed unexpectedly at that, because if this was fake, he was very good at making it feel real. Still, you let him pull you closer, your hands resting gently on his shoulders while he wrapped one arm loosely around your waist and started reading the breakfast options out loud… like the conversation from earlier hadn’t almost changed everything between you.

Noah was still looking through the menu when he glanced up at you again, his thumb rubbing absentmindedly against your side before he quietly asked, 

“What was it you wanted to talk about before?”

You looked down for a second, your fingers gently playing with the chain around his neck while you tried to figure out how to word it without sounding stupid, or too sensitive… but he noticed your hesitation. 

“Hey,” he said softly, setting the menu down on the bed beside him so he could focus on you properly. “Talk to me, baby. What’s wrong?”

You swallowed.

“Some of the things you said last night just made me feel a little…” You hesitated again, searching for the word. “...weird.”

His brows pulled together in an instant.

“What do you mean?”

You looked away for a second before forcing yourself to continue.

“When we were having sex,” you said softly. “You kept saying stuff about… this being what you’re paying for.”

The second the words left your mouth, confusion crossed his face.

Not defensive confusion, but like he honestly had no idea what you meant at first.

“What?” He frowned. “I said that?”

You nodded.

“More than once… just worded differently.” You said quietly, almost embarrassed. 

For a second he just stared at you, clearly replaying the night in his head. Then his entire face fell.

“Fuck,” he said quietly, one hand dragging across his jaw. “Baby…”

Your chest tightened slightly at the pet name, but it didn’t completely soothe the ache sitting there, and Noah looked genuinely frustrated with himself now.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” he said quickly, his voice softer now, more careful. “Jesus, I was so fucked out last night my brain wasn’t even working properly… you were making me feel too good.”

You stayed quiet, and then he stood up, his hands immediately finding your waist again like he needed to be close to you while he explained himself.

“I swear to you,” he said, looking directly into your eyes now, “That is not how I see you.”

“But you said it.” You whispered.

“I know.” He said, frowning a little with guilt. “And I’m sorry.”

You could tell that he meant it.

“I think…” he exhaled softly, trying to explain himself properly. “I think I was trying to lean into the whole dynamic we’ve been joking about, the sugar daddy thing, and it just came out wrong…” His hands rubbed gently up your arms. “I would never want you thinking I only brought you here for sex. I thought I made that clear.”

You nodded slightly, but the feeling in your chest didn’t fully disappear, because logically, you understood what he was saying. But emotionally, it didn’t change a thing. The doubt and insecurity still lingered. The reminder that Noah had money, power, and this whole life you didn’t fully fit into yet… that maybe you were just a pretty distraction for him. You heard the work call just now, and he sounded stressed, maybe you were just here to take his mind off it for the weekend. 

He noticed that you still looked uncertain, and his face softened even more as one of his hands came up to tilt your chin gently toward him.

“Hey,” he whispered. “Look at me.”

You did.

“You think I’d hold you all night afterward if you were just some girl on my arm? You think I’d wait this long to take you to bed?”

You swallowed hard. 

“I don’t know,” you whispered honestly. “Maybe that’s just who you are.”

You watched as his face fell, sadness creeping into his features, because now he was realising that this had gotten into your head far more deeply than he though. And for a moment, he looked like he was almost worried about losing you. 

The longer he looked at you, the more guilty he felt. Like the idea that he’d genuinely hurt your feelings was eating away at him already. His hands stayed warm against your arms, his thumbs brushing softly over your skin while he searched your face carefully, like he was trying to figure out just how much damage he’d done.

“Fuck,” he breathed, more to himself this time. “I’m an idiot.”

You shook your head immediately.

“No, you’re not-”

“Yes, I am,” he interrupted softly, though there wasn’t any sharpness in it. “Because you’re standing here thinking you’re just some pretty thing I wanted to sleep with, and that’s… sweetheart, that’s not even close.”

Your heart ached at how sincere he sounded.

Noah exhaled slowly before leaning forward and pressing a kiss against your forehead, his hands sliding around your waist afterward until he was holding you properly against him.

“You should’ve told me sooner, I wouldn’t have answered that call if I knew,” he whispered against your hair. “I hate that you woke up feeling like that.”

You melted into him a little despite yourself, your arms slowly wrapping around him too. And for a moment he just held you there quietly, like the world had paused for just the two of you. 

But eventually he pulled back slightly, enough to look at you properly again.

“Okay,” he said softly, more determined now. “I’m fixing this.”

You blinked at him.

“Noah it’s-”

“Nope.” He pointed gently toward the bed. “Sit. I’m ordering breakfast and then I’m spending the rest of the day reminding you how spoiled and happy you should be feeling right now.”

That finally got the tiniest laugh out of you.

“There’s that smile.” He teased, clearly relieved to see it.

He kept one arm around your waist while reaching for the phone to call room service with the other, and you stayed tucked against his side listening to him casually order enough breakfast for an entire family. He asked for pancakes, pastries, fresh fruit, coffee, extra whipped cream because apparently “she deserves it,” and you rolled your eyes at that while he smirked into the phone.

Once breakfast arrived, Noah carried everything out to the balcony for you, the morning air cool and fresh against your skin and you had such a lovely view of Paris before you.

You wondered if it’d feel awkward after having that conversation, but it didn’t. If anything, Noah seemed even softer now and more attentive.

You sat cross legged in one of the chairs with a blanket wrapped around your legs while Noah sat beside you, one arm lazily draped behind you while you both picked at breakfast. 

He watched you take a sip of coffee before speaking again.

“I have a few calls I need to take today,” he said carefully, like he was worried you’d take it the wrong way now. “But if I can get them rescheduled for when I’m back home, I will.” You looked over at him just as he reached over, brushing a strand of hair behind your ear gently. “The rest of today’s yours,” he said quietly. “I wanna take you wherever you wanna go. Shopping, lunch, sightseeing, whatever you want.”

A small smile tugged at your lips despite yourself.

“Whatever I want?”

“Mm, dangerous, I know.”

You laughed softly, but the relief on his face at hearing it again was almost heartbreaking.

“I’m serious,” he said, his thumb brushing lightly against your cheek now. “I wanna treat you like my princess today.”

Your stomach flipped embarrassingly at that, and you looked down into your coffee for a second, smiling shyly to yourself before glancing back up at him.

“Well, if I can get whatever I want… can my first request be cuddles in bed for a little longer?”

“Baby,” he leaned forward to press a kiss against your temple, “That’s the easiest yes you’re getting out of me all day.”

So once the two of you finished breakfast- once Noah was happy he had hand fed you enough strawberries, and got a laugh out of smudging a little cream on your nose- you found yourself back in the bedroom with him. 

The bed was still messy from the night before, blankets tangled and pillows everywhere, the sunlight softly spilling over the sheets through the gap in the curtains. Noah climbed in first, settling back against the pillows with a happy sigh before reaching one arm toward you.

“Get over here.”

You smiled and crawled across the mattress towards him, and the second you were close enough he pulled you against his chest properly, wrapping both arms around you this time like he wanted you as close as possible, like he wanted to make sure you couldn’t escape. 

You instantly melted into him. One of his hands slid slowly up and down your back beneath your tank top while the other rested warm against your thigh under the blanket, holding you there.

You stayed like this for a while, you just listened to his heartbeat beneath your cheek while his fingers traced little patterns against your skin. It felt nice. It felt safe and soft, it was the kind of comfort you didn’t realise you’d been craving until now.

“You still upset with me?” Noah asked eventually as he pressed a kiss to the top of your head. 

You lifted your head slightly, just enough to look up at him.

“No,” you admitted softly. “I was just overthinking.”

“Still,” he gave a little shrug. “I hate that I made you doubt things.”

You looked at him for a second before asking quietly,

“What is this then?”

The question slipped out before you could stop it, and you could tell it caught Noah off guard by the way he paused. 

His fingers continued stroking slowly along your back while he looked down at you properly, like he wanted to answer you carefully.

“I don’t know yet,” he admitted honestly after a moment. “But I know I like spending time with you.”

Your heart fluttered at that. 

“I like waking up with you,” he continued quietly. “I like taking care of you. I like when you get excited over stupid little things and I love seeing you smile.”

A tiny smile pulled at your lips.

“And,” he added softly, brushing his nose against yours, “I definitely like this.”

Your cheeks warmed.

“Yeah?”

“Mhm.”

You looked at him for another second before smiling shyly and hiding your face back against his chest, making him laugh quietly under his breath.

“You’re so cute.”

“Shut up.” You laughed.

His hand slipped up into your hair then, fingertips gently scratching against your scalp in a way that made you melt further into him with an embarrassingly content sigh.

You stayed tangled together for another hour after that, half dozing beneath the blankets while Noah occasionally kissed your forehead or rubbed your back, and every now and then you’d catch him just… looking at you. 

Eventually, after a while, Noah finally spoke.

“So… shopping?”

Your head snapped up.

“Oh, now she’s interested.” Noah chuckled.

“You promised princess treatment.” You smiled. 

“Did I now?” He smirked, squeezing you slightly closer. “Guess I better stick to my word.”

…

You stayed in bed for another ten minutes, until you decided you want to start getting ready for the day. There was no rush, no time limit, Noah was letting you take as long as you wanted. 

You stood in front of the bathroom mirror doing your makeup in your own time, and Noah stood beside you, doing his skincare. Even without looking directly at him, you could feel him watching you every now and then. You caught it in the mirror, the way his eyes drifted toward you while he rubbed in his moisturiser, the way he watched you do your mascara while he pretended to fix his hair. 

Then he stopped being so subtle with it. Noah was getting dressed, pulling on his trousers, then he stood in the doorway of the bathroom, and you caught him staring. 

“What?” You asked, raising an eyebrow. 

Noah didn’t even pretend to look away.

“Nothing,” he said with a smile, his hands planted on the top of the doorframe. “You’re just pretty.”

Your stomach fluttered, and you looked away before he could see you blush.

“You’re distracting me.” You said, not looking back up.

“Mhm, too bad.”

You rolled your eyes, trying to hide your smile as you went back to your makeup, though it became significantly harder to focus once Noah disappeared to finish getting changed.

Because when he walked back out… Jesus Christ.

He looked delicious. He was wearing his pair of fancy black pants, paired with a simple black t-shirt and a jacket you’ve never seen before. It was a corduroy jacket, a pretty blue-grey colour, with a big buckle detail on the collar. 

God, he always looked so put together, and he made it seem effortless. 

You looked up through the mirror again and immediately caught the tiny smirk forming on his lips from the way your eyes lingered on him. 

“Don’t…” You warned playfully. 

“Don’t what?”

“Look at me like that.”

His grin widened slightly as he started closing the distance and wandered towards you slowly.

“How am I looking at you?”

You huffed softly, trying to focus on your lip liner instead of the fact he was now directly behind you, his chest almost brushing against your back.

“Like you know just what you do to me.”

Noah’s hands settled softly on your hips, his chin resting on your shoulder while both of you looked at each other through the mirror.

“Sweetheart,” he whispered, lips dangerously close to your ear now, “I absolutely know what I do to you.”

You felt heat rush to your cheeks, and he watched it happen in real time, and looked far too pleased with himself. Then he took a proper look at you in the mirror, your hair, makeup, outfit… and a little fond smile tugged at his lips. 

“You look gorgeous.” He said quietly, sincerely. 

Your heart ached at the softness in his voice, but before you could say anything, he let out a little chuckle under his breath, like he’d just thought of something. 

“We’re gonna have to buy you another suitcase today.” 

“What? Why?” You asked innocently. 

“Because,” he smirked, “You’ll look so cute carrying my credit card around Paris… I’d buy you the whole fucking city if you asked.”

…

You and Noah walked hand in hand down the street, until your eye caught one of the shops. You slowed down by the window and glanced inside, and Noah smiled in amusement. 

“You wanna go in there?” He asked. 

You looked at him cautiously, almost like you were checking whether he meant it.

“…Can we?”

Noah huffed a soft laugh through his nose, squeezing your hand gently before guiding you toward the entrance.

“I brought you to Paris to spoil you. Go nuts, baby.”

The second you stepped inside, it felt like entering another world. Everything looked expensive, the store smelled expensive, the employees were even dressed expensive. You felt a little intimated by it, but tried not to show it. 

“Don’t overthink it,” Noah whispered as he rested his hand gently against your lower back, “Just have fun. Buy whatever you think looks cute.”

You nodded your head, before making your way towards the perfume section. All the bottles looked so pretty, and you pointed a few out to one of the sales assistant as you asked to test them. 

You took one of them, spraying a little onto the tester strip before smelling it, and your eyes widened. 

“Oh my god.”

Noah watched you with amusement again.

“You like that one?”

You nodded quickly before trying another… then another. Within ten minutes your wrists smelled like heaven and you were happily pointing out your favourites to Noah as he leaned casually beside the counter listening to you ramble.

“Smell this one.” You said, holding out one of the tester strips to him. 

He leaned down obediently, taking a slow breath before nodding once.

“Mm,” he hummed. “You wear that around me and I’m cancelling our dinner reservations.”

Heat crept into your cheeks at his words, and like usual Noah looked ever so pleased with himself. 

Eventually you decided on your two favourites, fully expecting to put them back afterwards and move on through the store- but just as you turned to walk away, Noah waved to the sales assistant. 

“We’ll take both.” He smiled, pulling out his wallet. 

“Noah?” Your eyes widened, but he looked at you like he genuinely didn’t understand the problem.

“What?”

“They’re really expensive.”

“Mhm.”

“And you’re just buying them?”

He gave you another confused look.

“You liked them, didn’t you?”

He made it sound so simple, but you couldn’t help but hesitate. You’d never treated yourself like this before, no budget or spending limits, it wasn’t so easy for you to just pick something up and ask for it… 

But again, that’s why you’re here… 

So you let Noah pay for them, and he took the little bag for you, carrying it around the store while you looked at other things. 

Then something else caught your attention. The most gorgeous little black handbag. You must’ve stared at it for maybe a second too long, because Noah noticed, and a little smile spread across his face. 

“You like that too?” He asked. 

You tore your eyes away immediately. 

“I’m not saying that out loud.”

That made him laugh quietly.

“Why not?”

“Because that costs more than my rent!”

Noah glanced toward the bag before looking back at you again.

“…And?”

You stared at him.

“Noah-”

He stepped a little closer to you, his eyes meeting yours as he spoke again. 

“Tell me you’d like it.” He said softly, “I’m going to buy it for you, but I want to hear you say it. I want you to know it’s okay to like things and want things. We’re here so I can spoil the fuck out of you… but I can’t do that if you don’t tell me what you want.” 

You nodded your head, swallowing hard before asking, 

“I’d like the bag, please.” You said slowly, feeling your tummy flutter. 

He smiled before kissing your cheek. 

“That’s my girl.” 

Before you could recover from that, he turned toward the sales assistant again.

“We’ll take the bag too.”

Twenty minutes later you walked back out onto the Paris streets carrying two luxury shopping bags in one hand while Noah held your other. 

You looked down at the bags that you insisted you carry, then up at him.

“This is literally the first store… we’ve got a whole street to get through.”

Noah grinned slowly.

“I know.”

…

You genuinely thought Noah was joking when he said you’d need another suitcase, but the more shops you walked into, the more you believed it. 

You spotted a pretty pair of sunglasses, and smiled the moment you tried them on, turning to Noah and looked up at him through your lashes as you said I’d like these ones, please. 

Then he walked you directly into the next store, and the next, and you bought at least something from each one. 

Another new bag, a pair of the most gorgeous heels you had ever set your eyes upon- there was also a lingerie section in one of the stores, and Noah was trying to talk you into buying a new set… little did he know, you packed the set he bought you a few days ago, and you planned on wearing it for him before the end of the trip. 

You found yourselves walking out of another store with yet another shopping bag, and Noah looked down at you with an amused grin. 

“You don’t have to hold all those y’know,” he reached a hand out, “You’ve seen how big these hands are, baby. They’re good for more than one thing.” He smirked, and your eyes widened in surprise. 

You blushed, and he used your surprise to his advantage as he took each bag from your hands. 

“Better?” 

All you could do was nod your head, and you forced out a little yep… of course he smirked. 

“Good.” 

You walked a little further, until he stopped outside a store, looking through the window. 

“Mind if we go in here?” He asked gently, and you nodded your head. 

“Of course!”

So you followed him in. This was a menswear store, and as you glanced around, you could see he fit right in here…

So why was he hesitating? 

He stood there for a moment, looking around without actually looking at anything. It was like he was deciding whether he even needed anything, like he was deciding if he should just walk out. 

“You wanted to come in here?” You asked, glancing up at him.

“Yeah,” he nodded, but it came out slightly slower than usual, and less certain. “Just… wanted to look at a couple things.”

You wandered a little ahead while he drifted toward the rails of clothing, your bags pushed up his arms so his fingers could brush along jackets and shirts, bt he didn’t pull anything out properly at first. He just looked.

And it almost felt like he was thinking too much about it.

“You don’t have to rush,” you said softly, stopping beside him, “We have all day.”

Noah glanced at you, and for a second his expression softened.

“I’m not rushing.” He said, but even he didn’t sound fully convinced.

You tilted your head slightly.

“Now you’re overthinking it.”

That made him huff a quiet laugh through his nose.

“Am I that obvious?”

“A little.” You said with a soft smile.

He looked back at the clothes again, his hand pausing on a black shirt before letting it go like he’d changed his mind at the last second.

You watched him carefully, and couldn’t help but think how strange this was. Because this was the same man who, less than an hour ago, had bought you perfume and a handbag without even looking at the price, he didn’t hesitate to buy you a Dior handbag or a pair of Prada sunglasses. 

But for himself he seemed almost unsure… 

“You don’t have to justify anything you pick up,” you said gently, stepping a little closer. “You know that, right?”

Noah didn’t answer straight away. After a couple moments, he just shrugged.

“I guess I just don’t really think about myself like that.”

That made your brows knit slightly.

“What do you mean?”

He exhaled slowly, glancing at you for a moment before looking away again.

“I’m used to buying things for other people,” he said simply. “Tour stuff, band stuff, gifts for friends… whatever. I don’t really-” He paused, then shook his head slightly like he didn’t know how to finish the sentence. 

There was a quiet moment between you. You stared up at him, before reaching for his free hand, and the moment you did, he curled his fingers around yours. 

“Noah, you just bought me half of Paris.” You chuckled softly, which finally got a small smile out of him.

“Yeah,” he admitted, looking down at your hands now instead of the clothes. “But you’re different. You know that.”

Your heart squeezed in your chest, and your face softened… but before could even say anything, Noah seemed to catch himself, like he didn’t want the moment to get too serious.

So he exhaled, squeezed your hand once, then nodded toward the rails.

“Help me pick something out then.”

You smiled a little.

“Bossy now?”

“Mm, only when I need to be.” He said, a hint of his usual teasing coming back.

So you wandered through the store together, picking things up and holding them up against him, giving him your opinions.

But then you pointed out a jacket. It looked like one he owned already, just with a few more details… but this one actually made him pause. 

“This one’s actually nice.” He admitted.

You grinned.

“Oh? We found something you don’t hate?”

He rolled his eyes slightly but didn’t argue this time.

Instead, he tried it on, and when he stepped out of the fitting room a few minutes later, adjusting the sleeves slightly… you went very quiet. You bit down on your lip, because somehow he looked even better. 

“What?” Noah asked, watching your expression change as your eyes dragged over him.

Then you stepped closer, tilting your head as you looked at him properly now.

“I think you should get it.”

“Yeah?”

You nodded your head, and he gave you a smile. 

“Guess I’m getting it then.”

You grinned back, pleased he also decided to treat himself. 

And after paying, your feet were aching and his hands and arms were finally full… so you both decided to head back to the hotel. 

…

“Tired?” Noah asked while the two of you stood in the elevator going up to your floor. 

You let out a small laugh. 

“A little.”

He hummed, stepping closer as the elevator dinged and the doors slid open.

“Good thing I’m feeding you next.”

You looked up at him as you followed him down the corridor. 

“Is that another expensive surprise?” You smirked. 

“No,” he said casually, unlocking the room. “Just lunch.”

You narrowed your eyes as he pushed the door open, because that sounded suspiciously simple… but he only smirked as he dropped the shopping bags down with the few that were already leaning against the sofa. 

You stretched your arms above your head with a groan, and Noah watched you for a moment, leaning against the edge of the table. 

“Wanna go freshen up?” He asked softly, “Then we’ll find somewhere to go for lunch?”

You nodded your head, reaching for your deodorant, perfume and makeup bag. But before you could step into the bathroom, he reached for your wrist, and pulled you close for a moment, just long enough for him to press a quick kiss to your forehead. 

You couldn’t help but smile as he let you go, and you shook your head as you disappeared into the bathroom. 

When you came back out, Noah was already waiting by the door, phone in hand, and he glanced up with a little smile as you reached for your bag. 

“Ready?” He asked, and you nodded. 

You complained about your feet still hurting, so instead of walking he called a cab for you two, and you got dropped off a few feet away from a fancy cafe. You thought it looked pretty on the outside, but your face lit up as you stepped inside. 

Noah pulled out your chair for you like the gentleman he is, and then he took the seat opposite you. You were sitting next to a window, which had a view of a gorgeous looking park, and you couldn’t help but just smile. 

Noah’s plan worked. You were happy, you felt relaxed… this trip was just what you needed. 

You two talked for a while, then you ordered. Your drinks came first, and you couldn’t help but steal a sip of his since it looked too good. 

At one point, he leaned back slightly in his chair, studying you for a moment before speaking again.

“You enjoying today?”

You didn’t even have to think about it.

“Yeah,” you said honestly. “A lot.”

You watched as your words made him smile warmly, and he nodded his head.

“Good.” He said softly, very pleased with your answer. 

It wasn’t long until your plates came… and a couple minutes later, while he was mid bite, Noah’s phone lit up on the table. 

You noticed it before he did, your eyes drifting to the screen as it vibrated softly against the wooden table. Noah saw your expression change and followed your gaze, then his little smile faded. 

“Oh shit.” He said under his breath.

You watched him pick it up, already knowing from the shift in his posture that this wasn’t one of those calls he could ignore.

He stared at the screen for a second longer than you liked, like he was wondering whether he should take it or not… but then he exhaled. 

“I’m so sorry.” He said quietly, looking up at you.

You shook your head immediately. 

“It’s okay, take it.”

But he didn’t look entirely convinced...

Still, he stood up, leaning down slightly to press a quick kiss to your temple, his hand resting on the back of your chair for a moment.

“I’ll be five minutes,” he said. “Just stay here, yeah?”

You nodded. 

“Yeah, of course.”

He hesitated again, like he didn’t want to take the call, he didn’t want to leave… 

But then he reached into his pocket, pulled out his card, and gently slid it across the table toward you. Your brows lifted, and you tilted your head up to look at him again. 

“Noah-“

“Just in case,” he said softly, cutting you off before you could protest. “Order more if you want, get another drink. Don’t wait for me. I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

And then he left.

You stared at the plate in front of you for a moment, then at the practically untouched food on Noah’s side.

I’ll be five minutes, is what he said. So you waited… at first it didn’t seem like a big deal. You scrolled on your phone, sipped on your drink, glanced out the window. 

But then ten minutes passed, ten turned to fifteen, fifteen turned to twenty, and Noah still hadn’t come back. 

You eventually forced yourself to eat, picking at your lunch because you knew Noah said not to wait for him, and if he walked back in to see you had waited this long, he’d blame himself, and you didn't want that.

You tried to tell yourself it was fine, Noah was a busy guy, he told you so himself. He takes his work seriously, and some things you just can’t ignore. But it didn’t help the worry and slight disappointment from pressing on your chest. 

But even as you ate from your plate, your eyes drifted to his, his almost full glass and his empty seat. 

Every now and then you glanced toward the entrance again, hoping to see him walking back in with that apologetic look he wore this morning.

But he didn’t.

By the time nearly forty five minutes had passed, your chest just felt heavy. You weren’t even angry, you just felt sad. 

So you finally gave up waiting, quietly asking for the bill. The waitress smiled politely as she brought the machine over, and you hated how awkward you suddenly felt sitting there alone at a table meant for two. 

After paying, you took your things, grabbed his jacket from the back of his chair, and you stepped out of the cafe. You adjusted your bag over your shoulder as the door shut behind you, and you pulled your phone out to text him- 

But then you spotted him. 

He was a few tables down outside another café across the street, still on the phone, and he looked stressed as fuck. He had one elbow resting on the table, his hand tiredly dragging through his hair. His sunglasses sat abandoned on the table in front him, and even from here you could tell the conversation wasn’t going well.

“…No, because that’s not what I fucking said.” You heard him snap into the phone, and you felt your heart sink. 

You’d never really seen him like this before. No teasing or soft smiles, he looked exhausted, and under a lot of pressure. 

So this was the version of him he had clearly been trying to keep from you...

As if sensing you nearby, Noah suddenly looked up, and the moment his eyes landed on you, his expression softened. A sad little smile tugged at his mouth as he held one finger up toward the phone, as if he was silently apologising for still being on the call.

You walked over slowly and sat down opposite him without saying anything, and Noah’s hand reached across the table in an instant, his palm open like an invitation. So you rested your hand in his while he continued talking… or arguing. 

His thumb brushed over your knuckles absentmindedly while he listened to whoever was on the other end, his eyes shutting in frustration.

“No,” he said more tiredly this time. “I understand that, but that doesn’t change the fact that we only have two weeks. How the fuck are we going to find someone-”

You watched him carefully, and suddenly you felt everything click into place and make sense. Because Noah spent so much time trying to make your life easier, trying to take your stress away, trying to make you feel cared for and spoiled and protected. 

But clearly Noah was carrying a lot more than he let you see. 

You thought about the hesitation earlier in the clothing store, the way he found it easier spending money on other people than himself, the way he immediately panicked this morning when he thought he’d hurt your feelings, and now this, sitting outside in Paris, looking exhausted while trying to juggle work calls he clearly couldn’t escape from even here.

Your chest ached for him, and suddenly you didn’t just want Noah to spoil you. You wanted to take care of him too.

Noah glanced at you again while the person on the phone continued talking, and his expression softened further when he realised you weren’t upset, just worried. 

His thumb stroked slowly across your hand again, then he finally said into the phone,

“Look. I’m not even in the country right now, I’ll call back when I get home, okay? Thank you.” 

Before the other person could argue, he hung up. He tossed his phone down onto the table and let out a long sigh, rubbing one hand over his face before looking at you properly. 

“…I’m so fucking sorry,” he said quietly, “I didn’t realise how long I was-” 

“Noah,” you cut him off, shaking your head, “Don’t worry. You can’t help it.” 

He looked genuinely worn down, completely exhausted. So for a moment, you were both quiet, his thumb still stroking back and forth over your hand. 

“I’m sorry, I really didn’t mean to-”

“You don’t have to apologise.” You said gently, cutting him off again. 

His jaw tightened.

“Yes, I do,” he said softly. “I brought you here and then left you sitting alone for almost an hour.”

You shook your head immediately.

“It’s your work, Noah.”

“I know, but-”

“But nothing,” you interrupted again. “You couldn’t help it.”

He looked down for a moment, clearly frustrated with himself anyway.

“I just didn’t want this trip turning into…” He exhaled sharply, gesturing towards the phone sitting on the table. “That.”

Your expression softened.

“You don’t have to hide it from me, y’know.”

That made him look back up at you again, and he looked a little caught off guard by that. 

“What?”

“You don’t have to pretend everything’s perfect all the time,” you said quietly. “I know you’re stressed.”

Noah’s thumb slowed slightly against your hand.

“But I made you a promise, I’m supposed to be taking care of you.” He said almost under his breath.

You smiled sadly.

“And who takes care of you?”

That question seemed to hit him harder than you expected, and he immediately went quiet. His eyes looked away from yours for a moment like he genuinely didn’t know how to answer, and then you realised… maybe nobody did.

Maybe he was so used to being the one everyone relied on that he didn’t even know what it felt like to let someone else carry some of the weight, and just the thought of that made your heart hurt. 

You squeezed his hand gently.

“You look tired.” You said, “Do you want to go back to the room?”

He didn’t answer that for a moment. You assumed he maybe wanted to say yes, but he didn’t know if that’s what you wanted. 

“Do you mind?” He asked, and you shook your head. 

“Not at all.” 

…

So after that, Noah ordered a car back to the hotel, and the ride was rather quiet. You sat beside him, your head resting on his shoulder, and he had his arm around you. He kept apologising, and you kept reassuring him… all the way up to the room. 

“Seriously, it’s not a problem.” You said as you stepped through the door, “But we are going to spend the rest of the day doing nothing, okay? It’s clear you need this break just as much as I do.” 

Your shoes got kicked off by the door, you tossed your bag down onto the sofa, and you two spent the rest of the afternoon here. At one point you ended up curled beside him on the sofa watching some French reality show, laughing every time Noah tried to translate despite clearly having no idea what was happening or what was being said.

But other times it was quieter, he’d be on the bed answering some emails from his phone with you laying half on top of him, his hand rubbing lazily up and down your back. You’d steal little kisses whenever you felt like it, until the two of you were smiling against each other's lips. 

Eventually, Noah relaxed. But every now and then, you still caught him zoning out, clearly thinking about work again, but instead of brushing it off, he’d just pull you closer and press his face into your neck, letting out a groan as he complained about how his mind would just keep going back to the phone call. But every time, you’d kiss his forehead and told him it’s okay.

Hours passed, and by the evening, the city outside had started glowing with golden lights, the sky deepening slowly into a dark blue, and you were both still laying together in bed when Noah finally broke the comfortable silence.

“You wanna go watch the tower sparkle tonight?”

You lifted your head slightly from where it rested against his chest.

“You’d go all the way back out just for that?”

Noah looked down at you like the answer was obvious.

“Yeah, of course.”

“Okay.” You smiled softly. 

So an hour later, the two of you were walking slowly through Paris again, this time in the cool evening air, and dressed a lot comfier. Noah was in a black hoodie and a pair of joggers, one hand tucked into his pocket while the other held yours, and you wore a comfy hoodie and a pair of leggings, not feeling so fussed about how you looked anymore. 

Eventually you reached the river again, finding a quieter spot where the tower stood glowing against the dark sky, and you leaned against Noah’s side while you waited, his arm settling around your shoulders to keep you warm.

Then suddenly, the lights came on, making the tower sparkle. You gasped softly despite already knowing it was coming, but still looking up at it in awe- and beside you, Noah looked down at you, since apparently your reaction was better than the landmark in front of him. 

Your eyes stayed fixed upward, your expression soft with wonder while the lights reflected softly in your eyes. 

“Glad we came to Paris?” He asked suddenly, and you turned to face him. 

“Totally.” You smiled, “Are you?”

“Of course.” He nodded his head, “This is what makes it worth it.” 

Once the twinkling lights stopped, you both slowly made your way back to the hotel, picking up a couple crepes on the way back of course. You talked the whole way back, and for some reason you couldn’t help but notice how much lighter you felt now compared to earlier- maybe because after today, after seeing a side of him he clearly didn’t let a lot of people see, you just felt closer to him.

By the time you made it back to the room, your cheeks were cold from the evening air and you immediately slipped off your shoes with a relieved sigh. Noah laughed quietly from behind you while shrugging his hoodie off, leaving him topless- you assumed he was about to shower anyway. 

“Long day?” He teased when he heard your sigh. 

You turned and narrowed your eyes at him.

“Do you realise how much walking we’ve done?” 

Noah grinned, shaking his head as he walked toward you.

“But was it worth it?” He asked, his hands finding your waist and pulling you gently into him until your chest rested against his.

“Obviously.” You smiled as you looked up at him.

He still looked tired, but not from stress anymore. His hair was a little messy from the wind outside, and his eyes looked heavy from the long day.

Your chest ached a little, because he’d spent so much time taking care of you, spoiling you, holding you together this morning when your mind had run away with itself. Taking you shopping, making you laugh, carrying your bags, carrying everything.

You lifted your hands slowly, brushing your fingers softly along his jaw, and Noah looked down at you immediately.

“What’s that look for?” He asked. 

“Nothing.” You smiled shyly.

“Mhm.”

His hands rubbed slowly against your sides.

“I just…” you started softly, your fingers tracing lightly over the back of his neck. “I know we did it last night... and I know you said it isn’t expected, it’s not part of the deal… but what if I wanted to show you how much I appreciate you…?”

Noah’s expression softened, and his forehead rested gently against yours.

“You don’t have to do anything for me.”

“I know.” You smiled a little. “But I want to.”

He just looked at you for a moment, and his eyes were saying everything his words couldn’t… then he slowly leaned down, and kissed you softly. This wasn’t teasing or playful, it was warm and full of everything he wished he had the words to say.

You kissed him back, your hands around his neck pulling him deeper into it. The kiss had started slow and warm, but it was quickly becoming needier and hungrier. 

You felt Noah’s hands- still cold from being outside- slide under your hoodie, coming up to your bare waist as he pulled you even closer. 

That’s when you pulled back just enough to rest your forehead against his, breathing softly. 

“I’m wearing something for you.” You whispered. 

Noah’s eyebrows lifted slightly, curiosity sparking in his tired eyes. 

“Yeah?” He asked, his voice low, “What are you wearing, baby?”

You bit your lip, suddenly feeling a little shy again, then took his hands and guided them to the hem of your hoodie. 

“Take it off and see.” 

Noah’s breath hitched, but he slowly pulled your hoodie up and over your head, revealing the beautiful red lace bra he’d bought for you just a few days ago, before you came here. The set he told you wasn’t for him… but you wanted it to be him (and only him) that saw you in it.

Noah froze for a moment, staring at you, his lips parted as his eyes drunk in the sight before him. 

“Fuck…” He breathed. 

“I wanted to surprise you,” you said, your cheeks suddenly feeling warm, “Wanted to make you feel good after taking care of me.” 

Noah let out a shaky breathy exhale, his hands sliding up your sides to cup your breasts through the lace. His thumbs brushed over your nipples, making them harden, making your head spin. 

“Baby…” His voice was now hoarse, “You have no idea what you do to me… walking around Paris looking so innocent… while wearing this underneath?”

He leaned down to kiss you again, deeper and needier this time. His hands roamed over the lace, squeezing your soft tits, then slid down to grip your ass. 

“You’re spoiling me now,” he smiled against your lips, “My sweet girl… god, I don’t deserve you.” 

You smiled shyly again, flustered now as you reached down, palming him through his joggers. 

“Let me take care of you tonight,” you whispered, “Please?”

Noah groaned softly, before hooking his thumbs into the waistband of your leggings, and slowly pulling them off, revealing the matching set. He took a step back, carefully putting your leggings down on the table, before taking in the sight of you. 

“Turn around for me, princess.”

You did, and he groaned a low curse, hands immediately gripping your hips, pulling your ass back against him so you could feel how quick he was getting hard for you.

“Look at you…” he whispered, kissing the back of your neck as his hands roamed your body. “So fucking beautiful. I’m never taking this off you. I might just keep you in lace for the rest of the trip.”

He took your hand, and pulled you along with him towards the bed. You lied against the pillows and he crawled over you, kissing you slow and deep while his hands explored every inch of the lingerie. 

“You want to make me feel good?” He asked against your lips. “Then let me fuck you in this pretty set.”

Kissed him back, suddenly feeling shy even though you were the one who started this. Your fingers traced down his chest, then lower, brushing over the obvious bulge in his pants.

“Actually, Noah?” You whispered against his lips, your voice small.

“Hm?”

You looked up at him through your lashes, cheeks warm.

“Can I… suck you first?” You asked softly. “I want to make you feel good.”

Noah let out a slow, shaky breath, his cock twitching under your hand.

“Fuck, baby,” he whispered, his voice already rough. “You don’t have to ask twice.”

He sat up against the headboard and pulled you between his legs. You knelt there in your pretty lingerie, looking up at him with nervous but eager eyes as he took off his joggers. Fuck, he was already hard, thick, and heavy in your hand...

You leaned in and pressed a soft kiss to the tip, then slowly took him into your mouth. You swirled your tongue around it, kissed softly up the length, while watching his jaw tick as he tried to keep himself contained. You then tried to take him as deep as you could- but the moment he hit the back of your throat you gagged, eyes watering as you pulled back with a soft cough.

Noah’s hand immediately cupped your cheek, his thumb wiping the one tear that fell.

“Easy,” he said softly. “You don’t have to take it all if it’s too much.”

You nodded, but you were determined, and tried again. You took him deeper this time, but still gagged, pulling off with a wet gasp, strings of spit connecting your lips to his cock. Your eyes were glassy, cheeks flushed with embarrassment and effort.

Noah groaned quietly, clearly turned on by how hard you were trying.

“Oh baby…” he cooed, voice warm and a little condescending in the sweetest and sexiest way. He brushed your hair back from your face. “Look at you trying so hard to take my cock. You want to be good for me so badly, don’t you?”

You nodded, lips shiny, breathing a little shaky.

“I want to take you deeper… but you’re bigger than I’ve ever taken,” you whispered. “I just want to make you feel really good.”

Noah’s eyes darkened with lust and affection. He gently guided your head back down, not pushing, just resting his hand in your hair.

“You’re already making me feel so good, princess,” he praised. “But we’ll train this pretty throat, okay? We’ll work on it together. One day you’ll be able to take every inch like a good girl, but for now, just use that sweet mouth however you can. I love watching you try for me.”

You whimpered around his cock at his words and tried again, sucking him with everything you had- sloppy, eager, and determined. Even though you kept gagging, you didn’t stop, bobbing your head and stroking what you couldn’t fit.

Noah’s head fell back against the headboard with a deep groan, fingers tightening gently in your hair.

“Fuck… that’s it, baby. Just like that. You look so pretty with my cock in your mouth. God, you’re so good to me.”

He looked down at you again, his eyes soft but dark. 

“If it's what you really want, why don’t you let me fuck your mouth a little, baby?” He rasped, “I’ll be gentle, just relax for me. And if it's too much, just tap my thigh.”

You whimpered around his cock and nodded as best you could, so Noah started rocking his hips slowly, fucking your mouth with shallow and controlled thrusts. He didn’t go too deep, he was careful and he stuck to his word, but the wet, sloppy sounds of his cock fucking your mouth filled the room, and it sent shivers down his spine.

“Fuck… that’s it, just like that,” he groaned, eyes half-lidded as he watched you. “Look at you… taking my cock so well. You’re so perfect, baby…”

Drool spilled from the corners of your mouth, dripping down your chin and onto your chest. Your eyes watered, but you kept sucking, looking up at him with that desperate, eager expression. The more messy and sloppy you got, the more turned on both you and Noah became.

Which is funny, because you had never actually enjoyed sucking dick before...

But then he pulled out suddenly with a wet pop, breathing hard, his cock glistening with your spit.

“Come here, princess.” He said, his voice rough.

He grabbed you gently but firmly and pulled you up the bed, laying you on your back. When he started kissing down your body, you realised what he was doing.

“Noah… wait-” you protested softly as he kissed the waistband of your lace thong, your cheeks burning. “You don’t have to. I wanted to make you feel good tonight. I don’t want you to feel like you owe me because-”

Noah looked up at you from between your thighs, his eyes dark and hungry, but his voice was warm.

“Oh baby,” he cooed, pressing a slow kiss to your inner thigh. “Trust me… eating this pretty pussy brings me just as much pleasure as your mouth on my cock. Maybe even more.”

He kissed lower, right over the damp lace covering your pussy.

“I’ve been thinking about tasting you again all day,” he confessed. “Let me have you... please?”

You hesitated for half a second, then nodded shyly.

“Okay.” 

Noah smiled and pulled your panties to the side. But instead of feeling his mouth on you like you were expecting, you felt the bed dip beside you, and before you could process the way he moved, he was pulling you on top of him.

“If I’m eating this pussy I’m doing it properly. Sit, baby,” he ordered softly, hands squeezing your thighs as you straddled his chest. “Don’t hover. I want you to sit on my fucking face.”

Your face burned with embarrassment, but the way he was looking up at you- like he was starving- made you obey. So you slowly lowered yourself onto his mouth.

The moment your pussy touched his tongue, Noah groaned loudly and pulled you down even harder, making it impossible for you to move anywhere as he buried his face between your thighs. He ate you like a man starved, slow, wet, messy licks, sucking on your clit, then dragging his tongue through your folds and pushing it inside you.

“Fuck, you taste so good,” he moaned into your pussy, the vibration making you whimper. “Ride my face, baby. Use me. Make yourself feel good- your pleasure is my pleasure.”

His hands gripped your ass, encouraging you to grind against his tongue. He was completely lost in you- slurping, sucking, groaning against your soaked folds like nothing else mattered.

Your heart was racing as you braced your hands on the headboard, thighs shaking as he devoured you even with the lingerie still on. 

He groaned loudly against your pussy as you started to rock your hips and ride his face, his hands gripping your ass tightly, pulling you down impossibly harder onto his face. He sucked and licked at your clit, his eyes dazed but locked on yours whenever you looked down.

You were shaking now, your fingers tangled in his soft hair, little desperate sounds spilling from your lips as he brought you closer and closer to the edge

“Right there Noah, oh god-” You gasped as you felt his nose nudge your clit while his tongue lapped at your entrance.

He moaned into you and then moved back up and sucked your clit harder, flicking his tongue perfectly until your thighs clamped around his head and you came with a broken cry. Your whole body trembled as pleasure rolled through you, your hips rocking weakly against his mouth while he worked you through it, drinking you down like he couldn’t get enough.

When he was done with you, Noah gently lifted you off his face and laid you down on your back in the middle of the bed. You were flushed and breathing hard, your heart beating so hard you were surprised he couldn’t hear it. 

He hovered over you, peppering little kisses across your face as you slowly came down.

“You okay, baby?” He asked softly, brushing your slightly damp hair back. “You want more, or wanna call it a night?”

You shook your head, reaching up to touch his chest.

“More... just gimme a sec.”

Noah smiled, slow and warm. He hooked his fingers into the cups of your bra and tugged them down, letting your soft tits spill out over the lace, and the sight made him groan quietly.

“Fuck… look at you.” He whispered.

He leaned down and took one of your nipples into his mouth, sucking gently while his hand kneaded the other breast. At the same time, he rubbed his hard cock against the soaked crotch of your lace panties, grinding slowly, letting you feel how much he wanted you.

You whimpered, arching into his mouth as your hands found his hair again, holding him right there- but after a few moments, Noah pulled back, kissing you deeply as he reached down and pulled your panties to the side. He lined himself up, his tip nudging your entrance as he slowly eased inside you. 

Both of you let out soft, breathy moans as he sank in.

“Oh my god…” You whispered, clutching at his shoulders.

Noah buried his face in your neck, breathing hard as he bottomed out, staying there for a moment so you could adjust to him- and because if he moved too quick, he’d cum too quickly.

“You feel too fucking good,” he whispered against your skin before pressing a little kiss on your shoulder. “So warm and tight around me, baby.”

He slowly started moving with deep and tender rolls of his hips. There was nothing rushed about it. With every thrust, he made sure he was grinding against that perfect spot inside you while he kissed you softly, sucking on your bottom lip, whispering praise between kisses.

“That’s it, sweet girl,” he breathed. “Just take me nice and slow… let me make love to you, let me apologise for being a dick last night.”

His hand came up to cup your breast again, his thumb brushing over your nipple, before he gently pinched it between his fingers. 

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered, eyes locked on yours. “So pretty… and you’re wearing this for me?… letting me have you like this? I’m so fucking lucky.”

Noah kissed you slowly again, but then he rolled onto his back, pulling you on top of him without ever slipping out of you. You were chest to chest, and his hands settled on your hips, squeezing the soft flesh gently.

“Ride me, baby, please,” he pleaded against your lips. “I want to watch you take what you need. Make yourself feel good on me.”

You sat up, and Noah’s eyes darkened as he took you in- your flushed cheeks, messy hair, lingerie slightly askew, your bra tugged beneath your tits, his cock buried deep inside you. Then you started moving, a little slow and shy at first, rocking your hips back and forth. Noah groaned, his hands sliding up to cup your breasts, his hands swallowing them whole.

“That’s it, sweet girl,” he praised softly. “Nice and slow. Use me however you want tonight.”

His words helped you grow bolder, bracing your hands on his chest as you started bouncing on him. The wet sounds of your skin slapping together filled the room. Noah’s eyes stayed glued to you, completely mesmerized.

“God, you’re so fucking beautiful,” he groaned, voice rough as he pulled the cups of your bra back up to cover your breasts again. “Look at how pretty your tits look bouncing in that lace.”

You moaned, moving faster, chasing the pleasure. Noah’s hands gripped your ass, helping guide you, occasionally spanking you lightly just to hear the sweet sound you made. 

But after a few minutes, he sat up suddenly, wrapping his arms around you and kissing you deeply.

“Come with me, baby.” He whispered.

He walked you into the bathroom, towards the mirror above the counter, and turned you so your back was against his chest. You could see everything- your flushed face, the way your tits were already spilling out of the lace bra again, Noah’s massive tattooed hand on your tummy, holding you in place as his cock rubbed against you from behind.   

“Look,” he whispered against your ear, “Look how pretty you are, baby. Now bend over, hands on the counter.”

You obeyed, and felt as he easily pushed back into you. You took in a sharp breath as he fucked you even deeper in this position while you both watched in the mirror. One of his hands wrapped around your throat gently, pulling you up so your back was against his chest, and his other hand slid down to rub your clit in slow circles.

“See that?” He groaned, his lips brushing your ear. “See how well your pussy takes me? Like you were made for me, baby.”

You whimpered, unable to look away from the reflection. The sight of his tall, broad body behind you, muscles flexing as he thrust into you, was overwhelming.

Noah kissed your neck, then bit down gently as he fucked you a little harder.

“Tell me how it feels, baby,” he ordered, eyes locked on yours in the reflection. “Tell me how good it feels.”

You watched yourselves in the mirror, mesmerized by the sight, and your voice came out breathy and soft.

“You feel so good,” you whispered, eyes locked on his in the reflection. “So deep… I love how full you make me feel.”

Noah groaned, pressing his lips to your shoulder as he rolled his hips deeper.

“Yeah? You like how I stretch you, baby?” He asked tenderly.

You nodded, cheeks flushed. 

“I’m so close already… but I want to cum with you… and I want it inside… please?”

Noah’s expression melted with affection. He kissed the side of your neck gently, then slowly pulled out of you. He turned you around and led you back to the bed, helping you lay down and making sure you were comfy. 

Then he hovered over you, brushing your hair out of your face.

“You sure you want me to cum inside you, sweetheart?” He asked softly, his eyes searching yours. “You’re on birth control, right?”

You nodded, pulling him closer. 

“Yes, I’m on it. I want to feel you, all of you.”

Noah kissed you deeply, full of adoration and warmth, then pulled back just enough to ask,

“What’s your favourite position, pretty girl? I want to make you feel perfect.”

You blushed a little but answered honestly.

“...missionary? I like being able to see you and hold you...”

He smiled softly and settled between your legs, spreading them gently. He lined himself up and slowly pushed back inside you, both of you letting out quiet moans as he filled you again.

“That’s it,” he whispered, forehead resting against yours. “Nice and deep. Just like this.”

He started moving again, keeping his slightly dazed eyes on yours. One of his hands then laced with yours, pinning it gently above your head. The other cupped your face, thumb stroking your cheek.

“You make me feel so good,” he breathed, kissing you softly between thrusts. “So warm and tight around me… I love being inside you like this.”

You wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him even closer and deeper.

“I’m getting close again.” You whimpered, your voice shaky as your eyes fell shut. 

Noah nodded, breathing heavier but keeping his pace steady and deep.

“Me too, baby. Stay with me, okay?” He kissed you again, slower this time. “Look at me. I want us to cum together.”

He kept his rhythm perfect and hit exactly where you needed him. His hand stayed on your face, thumb brushing your bottom lip as he watched you intently.

“You’re so beautiful,” he whispered. “My pretty girl… cum with me, let me feel you.”

Your orgasm built and built until it became too much, and finally washed over you. You moaned his name, clenching tightly around him as pleasure washed over you like a wave. Noah groaned, burying his face in your neck as he followed right behind you, his thrusts suddenly getting quicker and deeper as he came hard inside you, spilling his warm release inside you, giving you every last drop.

He stayed buried deep, holding you close as your bodies both trembled. His arms wrapped around you tightly, one hand gently stroking your hair while he pressed soft kisses to your temple, your cheeks, your lips.

“I’ve got you,” he whispered softly. “I’ve got you, baby.”

He stayed inside you for a long time, just holding you, breathing with you, occasionally kissing you softly like he couldn’t bear to pull away.

“Thank you for tonight.” He said after a moment, “You were so perfect for me… shit, I can already tell I’m gonna get addicted to you.” He added with a soft, little chuckle. 

You kissed his cheek, then he carefully pushed himself up again and gently pulled out. You let out a small whimper at the loss of contact, to which Noah apologised, I know, baby, I know. 

He kissed you once more, then got up from the bed. He wandered into the bathroom, grabbing a cloth and running it under the warm water before rinsing it out and bringing it into the bedroom. 

He returned and settled between your thighs again, and he was incredibly gentle as he cleaned you up, wiping away the mess of your slick and his cum that had already started leaking out. But when the cloth brushed over your still swollen, sensitive clit, you flinched and let out a tiny gasp. 

“Sorry, sweetheart,” Noah frowned, “Gotta make sure you’re cleaned up.” 

Once he was satisfied you were clean enough, he wiped himself down quickly and tossed the cloth aside. He then looked down at the sheets and let out a soft, amused chuckle. 

“We made quite a mess of the bed, huh?” He said, glancing down at the damp spots with a fond smile, “Why don’t we take a nice warm shower, then sleep in the other bed tonight? Sound good?”

You nodded tiredly. 

“Sounds good.” 

Noah went into the bathroom and turned the shower on, so the water was warm enough by the time you got in. He got in first, making sure the temperature was perfect, then he watched with a smirk as you took off the now messy lingerie and held his hand out for you to join him. 

He picked up your body wash, squeezing some into his hands before gently lathering it over your skin. His touch was incredibly tender and careful, rubbing his hands in slow circles over your shoulders, down your arms, across your chest. He paid special attention to your breasts, carefully washing them, and smirking as he rubbed his thumbs over your nipples again.

Still, you leaned into him, sighing as he washed you under the warm water. Then you turned your head, looking up at him with big, hopeful eyes.

“Did I make you feel better?” You asked almost innocently, before suddenly feeling shy and embarrassed again and looking away. 

Noah paused, then cupped your face with both soapy hands, tilting your chin up so you’d look at him.

“Baby,” he said, voice warm and full of affection, “You were perfect. You’re exactly what I needed tonight. I feel so much better because of you. You took such good care of me.”

He kissed you slowly under the running water, then continued washing you, moving down your tummy, your hips, and between your thighs with careful, loving touches. You flinched a little when he brushed over your sensitive pussy, and he immediately softened his touch even more.

“Sorry, sweetheart,” he whispered, kissing your temple. “I know you’re sore.”

You then took his own body wash, squeezed some into your hands and started washing his chest, tracing your fingers over his tattoos and toned muscles. The water cascaded over both of you as you cleaned each other in the most comfortable silence for a moment.

Then you spoke again, shyly, because it’d been on your mind from the moment he mentioned it.

“…Were you serious? About training my throat?”

Noah looked down at you with gentle eyes. He brushed wet hair out of your face and nodded.

“I was serious,” he said softly. “But only if you really want it. We’d go very slow, and I’d never push you further than you’re comfortable with. If you trust me… we can talk about it more. Maybe try some things when you’re ready. But there’s no rush, okay? You already make me feel so good just like that… it’s only if you’d be into it too.”

You nodded, relaxing a little as you continued washing his tummy and hips.

“I do trust you,” you whispered. “And I want to be better at it… for you.”

Noah smiled softly and pulled you closer, wrapping his arms around you under the warm spray.

“You’re already more than enough for me, baby. But if you want to learn… I’d love to teach you. And that goes for anything, okay? Any fantasies or kinks you want to explore, toys you want me to buy,” he let out a chuckle, then his expression turned serious again. “We’ll take it slow and make it feel good, we’ll never do anything that makes either of us uncomfortable. Deal?”

You nodded against his chest, feeling more than safe and loved in his arms.

“Deal.”

He kissed the top of your head, then continued washing you gently, running soapy hands down your back, massaging your shoulders, taking care of every inch of you. You did the same for him, washing his back and arms while the water rinsed everything away.

By the time you both stepped out, you were warm, clean, and wrapped in soft towels. Noah guided you back to the fresh bed, where you sat as he searched the room for your pyjamas. He helped dry you off and dress you, and he slipped a pair of boxers on himself before climbing into the bed and pulling you into his arms under the clean sheets, tucking you against his chest.

“I’ve been all around the world,” Noah said quietly, “But I think this is my favourite trip I’ve ever been on.” 

You smiled into the warmth of his skin. 

“So where are you gonna take me next? What beats Paris?”

He looked down at you, his hand gently stroking up and down your back.

“If I tell you, it’ll ruin the surprise.” 

・┈・୨୧・┈・

to the anon who sent me the ask about throat raining with velvet!noah AUUUGHHH i don't know whether to write it into a chapter or as a oneshot yet 🫣 BUT IM WORKING ON IT!!

also, like i said in the last chapter, if anyone has any ideas of things they wanna see in this fic LET ME KNOW <3 if i don't write it into the story i'll 100% turn some ideas into oneshots, i just want to know what other people want from this!! <3

· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·

“Are you okay? Do you want me to come in with you?” Folio asked, both his hands still resting on the steering wheel while you stared ahead of yourself. 

There was a window lit on the second floor- Noah’s bedroom. He was home. 

Your stomach turned as you wondered if he was alone, or if he had company tonight. If there was someone else laying on your side of the bed, running their fingers through his hair, wearing his shirt. What if it was too late, what if he had moved on already-

“Y/n?” Folio brought you back to reality, and this time you turned to face him. 

“It’s fine,” you said as you shook your head, “I need to do this. Whether he wants to listen to me or not.” 

“He’s gonna listen.” Folio said after a moment, his voice quieter this time. 

“How do you know?” 

“Because it’s Noah,” he said simply, like that should’ve been obvious, “And he loves you. Even now, after everything.”

You swallowed hard, reaching for the door handle… but your hand just rested there, as fear hit you all over again. But with a deep breath, you pushed through it, and opened the door. It was cold outside, and the air smelled like rain and cigarette smoke from Noah’s neighbour, who was currently standing outside on the porch. 

“You want me to wait here?” Folio asked through the open window. 

You hesitated for a moment, thinking it over. Part of you desperately wanted it, that safety net, someone to back your corner if an argument starts. But another part knew this needed to just be the two of you. 

So you shook your head. 

“No,” you said softly, “I think I need to do this on my own. But thank you for everything tonight… if you hadn’t been in the bar-” 

“Hey,” he interrupted you, a smile tugging on his lips, “Just go get your man.”

Your stomach did a flip at those words, and as you turned around you felt like time had suddenly slowed down. The walk from the driveway to his door felt far longer than it ever used to be, and the moment you reached it, memories came flashing back. 

All the nights you’d come back to Noah’s after the club, drunk and giggly, trying to unlock the door in between kisses. Other nights when the two of you had gone to pick up snacks because you were craving something sweet, and you had to sneak in like a pair of teenagers because his roommates were asleep. And now your hands were so shaky you weren’t sure if you could even knock on the door. 

But you did it anyway. 

Knock knock knock…

Panic suddenly flooded you, terrified that it wouldn’t be Noah answering the door, but maybe another girl. 

But before you could worry too much, the door swung open, and there he was. Neither of you spoke for a moment, he just stared at you like his brain had completely stopped working, like you weren’t really there. 

And he looked tired, his hair was messily tied in a bun, the sleeves of his hoodie were pushed up his forearms. And as you peered past him, you noticed the stack of boxes against the wall. 

He must’ve been packing. 

“Y/n?” He said carefully, drawing your attention back to him. When you looked back up at him, he was wearing a confused expression, almost like he was in disbelief. 

For a moment, you completely forgot the words you had rehearsed in the car. So you just stared up at him, at his eyes, the crease between his brows, at his mouth you’d missed so much it hurt. You tried to say something, but the moment you parted your lips you were afraid you’d start crying before you could even get a word out. 

“Are you okay?” He asked, genuinely concerned. 

You just took in another deep breath as you nodded your head, gathering yourself… trying to figure out how to-

SLAP

Your hand moved without you even thinking, hitting him across the face.  

“That-” You pointed a finger at his with watery eyes and trembling lips, “That’s for fucking Maya.” 

Noah just stared at you, his head turned slightly to the side from the force of your hand, and he looked absolutely baffled, his hand coming up to hold his cheek. 

Then the tears finally spilled. They ran hot down your cheeks as you reached up, carefully grabbing his face in both hands… and then you kissed him hard, days of grief and missing him and relief and loving him all crashing together at once, and your lips said everything that you couldn’t. 

His hands found your waist as you slowly pulled back, and he was even more confused now, looking at you with a little frown. 

“That… was also for fucking Maya.” You said quietly, your eyes still closed.

“What the fuck is happening right now?” He asked with an almost nervous huff of laughter. 

You opened your eyes again, and the second you looked at him properly, all the panic came flooding back. Because he looked so lost, so thrown off. He looked was trying to piece together a puzzle but half the pieces were missing.

Your hands were still cupping his face, your thumbs resting against his cheeks, and you realised you were crying so hard your whole body had started shaking, and Noah noticed it too. 

“Hey,” he said softly, his confusion immediately giving way to concern again as his grip tightened gently on your waist. “What’s wrong?”

You let out a little sound that could’ve been a laugh, it could’ve been a sob.

“Everything, and nothing…” You whispered.

His face fell.

“Can you just…” you swallowed hard, trying to gather yourself enough to speak properly, “Can you please let me explain before you say anything?”

Noah nodded immediately.

“Okay.”

And god, that hurt too, because he didn’t even hesitate. You took a shaky breath as you tried to figure out what to say first. 

“Maya lied to me.” The second her name left your mouth, his expression changed. He wasn’t angry, he just looked exhausted, like he was just tired of hearing her name. 

“What did she say?” He asked carefully.

You laughed weakly again, wiping your face with the sleeve of your jacket.

“What didn’t she say?” You scoffed. 

Noah stayed quiet, waiting for you to explain. 

“That night… when we were at Jess’s, she was telling me all these things.” You began to explain, your eyes drifting away from his because somehow it felt too vulnerable to look at him while admitting all of this. “She told me that you didn’t love me… that you never did. She told me you only wanted to sleep with me because nobody else had.” 

“Baby-” Noah frowned. 

“And then I came over here and I asked you if it was true,” you rushed on, your breathing starting to quicken. “And you said yes...”

His eyes widened instantly.

“Oh my god.”

You nodded, though your eyes were welling up again.

“I thought you were confessing to it.”

“No,” he said immediately, shaking his head hard enough that your hands moved with it, “No, no- I thought you meant about me and Maya hooking up before we got together.”

Your eyes squeezed shut.

“I know that now.”

“Jesus christ…” Noah breathed, dragging a hand down his face before looking back at you again in disbelief. “That’s what this whole thing has been about?”

You gave a weak nod, but he looked completely crushed. 

“Y/n,” he said quietly, almost in disbelief himself, “I would never do that to you, I'd never-”

“I know,” you whispered. “I know now.”

The silence that followed felt so heavy, like it was weighing down on your chest. Noah stared at you for a moment, his expression softening more and more the longer he looked at you standing there crying in his doorway.

“Why didn’t you ask me properly?” He asked gently, “We could’ve avoided all of this…”

You dropped your head down, knowing there wasn’t a good answer to this. 

“I don’t know,” you said weakly. “I think… I think I was just angry, and even more so when I asked you if it was true, and it seemed like you knew exactly what I was talking about.”

Noah gently shook his head as his thumb brushed against your side through your jacket.

“You really thought I didn’t love you?” He asked quietly. “After everything?”

You laughed through your tears again, feeling embarrassed now.

“She was messing with my head, she made me feel stupid for believing you did, and now I feel stupid for-”

“No, don’t do that, baby.” He said, and you lifted your eyes back up to his, “You’re not stupid, especially not for feeling loved.” 

Noah watched in real time as your weak smile faded and another sob nearly escaped you. 

“Oh no.” He whispered softly, and before you could even react properly, his hand slid up your arms and then he was pulling you against him, into a hug. 

You buried your face in his chest, and the second his arms wrapped around you properly, you completely gave in, and you stopped holding back.

“I’m sorry,” you cried into his hoodie. “I’m so sorry, Noah…”

“Shh,” he whispered immediately, holding the back of your head carefully. “It’s okay.”

“No it’s not,” you sobbed. “I fired you! I blocked your number! I said some things I didn’t mean, I’ve been so horrible to you-”

“No,” he said again softly, “You did it all because you thought I hurt you.”

“But I didn’t even give you a chance to explain! It’s on me for being so fucking-”

“Stubborn?” He asked, letting out the smallest laugh into your hair, “Y’know that’s one of the things I love about you though, right? You’re stubborn, I’m an asshole… you put me in my place. We’re perfect for each other.”

You let out a little weak laugh, and Noah let out a breath he hadn’t realised he’d been holding. 

God, he’d missed you. 

His hand rubbed slowly up and down your back while you cried against him, telling you to let it all out, it was so comforting that your knees nearly gave out from relief. But after a minute, you pulled back slightly, just enough to look at him again.

“I love you.” You said, so sure of it as you looked into his eyes, “I don’t know how the fuck you did it, I was so certain that I’d never let myself fall for you all those months ago… but now I don’t know how to live without you.”

The moment those last few words left your mouth, you noticed the shift in him. He was scarily quiet, and he was looking at you as if he wasn’t sure whether he should say what he was thinking. 

“What?” You asked, your brows drawing together. 

His eyes drifted away from yours, scaring you a little.

“Noah?”

He exhaled slowly through his nose, like he was trying to figure out how to say it without ruining this moment.

Then, his throat bobbed as he swallowed hard, before finally saying,

“There’s something I haven’t told you yet.”

You were guessing you already knew what it was, the move- Folio had told you. But hearing the tension in his voice now made your stomach turn anyway.

Noah stepped back slightly then, rubbing a hand over the back of his neck as he glanced over his shoulder toward the boxes stacked against the wall.

“I got offered a place in LA,” he said quietly. “It’s better for the band out there, more opportunities, closer to everything...”

You stayed still and silent, letting him explain- but Noah mistook that silence immediately.

“I wanted to tell you before everything happened,” he rushed to explain. “I was even gonna ask you to come with me, but then…” 

“Everything happened.” 

He laughed weakly under his breath, giving you a nod.

“And I was worried it was too soon,” he continued quietly. “I was waiting for the right time to ask you, but I was worried I’d be putting too much pressure on you. We’ve only known each other… for half a year, then suddenly I’m asking you to move across the country with me? And then after we broke up…” his voice faltered the slightest. “I figured there wasn’t really a point bringing it up anymore. I figured you’d be glad to get rid of me.”

The thought of that nearly broke your heart again, thinking about him packing everything up alone, thinking he was leaving without you, thinking this was over forever. 

“Noah,” you began softly, “Do you even know why I’m here right now?”

He searched your eyes, a little confused. 

“To tell me this was all a misunderstanding?”

You nodded your head before pulling back from him. 

“That's part of it… I think we should go inside before I explain it all.” 

Noah had been too caught up to realise you were still both standing at the front door, so he immediately nodded before letting you in. 

The two of you went up to his room, and it was so strange to see it this way. Everything had been taken off the walls, there was an empty space where his guitars once rested against the wall, and there was minimal furniture now, just the drawers and his bed. It made it all seem real. 

It suddenly hit you again that he was really going, and that if Folio hadn't said anything, and if you would’ve stayed home, you would’ve lost him for good. 

“I was at the bar tonight,” you started to explain as you sat down on his bed, “Jess wanted to get me out of the house. Our plan was to… celebrate Steve. But then I saw someone I recognised… Folio.” 

Noah nodded his head. 

“Yeah, he told me he was going out tonight with some of the guys. He asked if I wanted to come but I've been busy here… as you can see.” 

You nodded too, looking up to meet his eyes. 

“He came over to us and started talking to me. He brought up us, and he was saying that you wanted to tell me about you and Maya, about you two hooking up before we became serious, and it confused me because that wasn’t the story she told me-” 

“I did want to tell you about that,” Noah explained, “But she told me not to, she said it’d just mess things up between you and her, and you and me, and I was afraid. I didn’t want you to think it meant anything, because it didn’t. I was just…”

He paused for a moment, almost like he was embarrassed about what he was about to admit. 

“Just what?”

He let out a slow breath through his nose, his eyes dropping to the floor. 

“I was stupid,” he admitted, “And lonely, I guess. I was working all day, doing band stuff at night… I know it's no excuse. But I never wanted her like that… not like how I want you.” 

Your eyes widened a little, and Noah gave a weak little laugh. 

“I remember back when I first met you, I thought Jesus Christ she’s terrifying!” 

You couldn’t help but laugh at that. 

“No you didn’t.” 

“I fucking did,” he said, looking almost offended, “You walked around that shop like you owned the place, bossing everyone around, never afraid to argue with me, tell me how much you hate me…” you watched as his face softened slightly before he continued, speaking quietly, “And I kept thinking there’s no way she would ever like me.” 

Your smile faded slightly as you thought back to that first week, you could still picture it all so vividly. Noah walking through the door for the first time, that fucking smirk on his face, the way he’d lean against cars and smile at you, the shameless flirting and teasing, the morning he brought you breakfast- all the moments you brushed off, all the moments you thought were meaningless… 

“You actually liked me all that time?” You asked quietly, earning a look from that said don’t be ridiculous. 

“Baby.” He said, and the word alone made your head spin. He finally sat down beside you on the bed, close enough to bump your knee with his, “You wanna know something really embarrassing?”

You narrowed your eyes suspiciously at him. 

“That depends...” 

He chuckled, shaking his head. 

“I’ve been in love with you this entire time, since the moment I walked through that squeaky door and saw you sitting at your desk, you had no idea who I was or what I was doing there… and I was nervous, so I might’ve come across a little cocky-” 

“A little?” You scoffed. 

“Fine,” he laughed, “But that’s when I realised it got your attention, so I loved teasing you and annoying the shit out of you-”

“You still do.” You said with a little chuckle, and Noah shrugged. 

“Can you blame me? Whenever you’d get all pissed off your cheeks would go pink and you’d try so hard to pretend I didn’t have an effect on you… I thought you looked so fucking cute.” 

“Stop!” You groaned, covering your face with your hands so he couldn’t see he was having that very effect on you right now.” 

“No,” he said, gently pulling your hands away, “No, I’m saying it now, I’m telling you the truth.” 

So you looked at him again with warm cheeks and a racing heart. 

“I’d spend all day finding excuses to come bother you,” he continued with a little grin, “Stealing your pens, asking you stupid questions I already knew the answer to… hiding your stapler…” 

“That was you?” 

“...Yeah…” 

“You dick!” You laughed, smacking his arm, “I thought I was going crazy!” 

“Yeah, sorry, that was me.” He chuckled, but you watched as his smile slowly faded and he became more serious again. “But… I never thought you’d actually like me back though.” 

Your brows drew together. 

“What?”

He looked away, chewing on the inside of his cheek for a moment, before finally saying, 

“C’mon. A guy like me?”

“What do you mean?” You asked, and you watched as he just shrugged. 

“I’m far from perfect, baby, you know that.” He said quietly, “I know I joke around, I act like I don’t care about shit but… that’s because I never really had anything to care about.” He turned to face you again, his hand finding yours, intertwining your fingers, “But then I met you.” 

You swallowed, feeling your heart ache even more. 

“You had your life together. You cared about people, you worked hard, took your job far too seriously,” he couldn’t help but chuckle again. “You made me want to be a better person. So I started working on myself, because of you.” 

You froze, like you couldn’t believe what he had just said. 

“What?”

He nodded his head. 

“I wanted to deserve you,” he confessed, “I started trying harder because of you. I stopped fucking around so much, stopped smoking and drinking all the time- I started taking things seriously because…” he shook his head with a little laugh, “I wanted to feel like I was worthy of you.” 

A tear slipped down your cheek before you could stop it, but he caught it, wiping it away. 

“I’ve never had a proper relationship before, just like you,” he continued, “No one ever thought I could do anything serious, so they never gave me the chance to prove it. In the end, I started to believe it myself, so I made sure it stayed that way. I didn’t want to get hurt, so I never let myself get in the position where I would… that was until you came along.” 

You looked up at him, still not saying anything, letting him continue. 

“And when I realised there was even the slightest possibility that you liked me back, I knew none of that mattered anymore. At first I thought our stupid enemies with benefits thing was enough, but then I started to miss you when you weren’t around, and I didn’t want to fill that void with random girls anymore. I wanted you, I wanted more, so that day you told me you don’t want me sleeping with other girls… I was hoping that meant you wanted the same thing as me, but you were just too afraid to admit it.” 

You nodded your head. 

“You wanna hear something stupid?” You asked, looking up at him with teary eyes. 

“Nothing you ever say is stupid.” 

“Trust me, this is.” You said, a little laugh escaping, “I spent every day trying to convince myself I didn’t like you. Ever since you walked into my office with that red beanie on your head and your tattoos out, with that stupid sexy smirk that I wanted to wipe off your face, I knew I was in trouble. I told myself and everyone around me that I hated you, but you were right all along- I hated that I didn’t hate you. Then we spent more and more time together, and I started to get to know you properly, and I started to see through that front you put on. I knew you weren’t this fuckboy asshole you pretended to be, and the more you proved it... the harder I fell for you.” 

Noah looked genuinely taken back by that, and it made you feel a little shy. You looked down at your hands, giving his a little squeeze before you continued. 

“I never liked relying on people, I even hate letting myself be vulnerable around my best friends. But you made it so easy, you never made me feel like a burden or like I was too much. Which I think Maya knew, and that’s why she came up with that lie. She knew that would hurt me more than a stupid fling, and I guess it did.” 

Noah frowned, a sorry look in his eyes. 

“But just so I know... what exactly happened between the two of you?” You asked, “I know it’s none of my business because it was before we got together, but she never said a word about it to me.” 

Noah took a deep breath. 

“I started because she kept hanging around after my shows, she’d be there alone so I’d ask where you were- and she’d always have some excuse. She’d always look pissed when I mentioned your name though, like she already knew how I felt about you. But in the beginning she was messing with my head too, telling me how much you hated me and talked shit about me, so of course I believed her because she was your best friend…”

You nodded your head slowly. 

“So when was the first time that you two… y’know.” 

Noah bit down on his lip as he tried to think back. 

“It was after a show one night, there was an afterparty, we were both drunk and she was just there.” He confessed. “Never once did it mean anything though. Like I said, I was just lonely, I never thought you’d give me a chance… and it only happened two more times after that. She kept trying to make it happen again and again but I kept turning her down because it wasn't what I wanted.” 

You nodded your head again, silently telling him you understood. 

“I won’t pretend I’m not hurt by it,” you said quietly, “But I get it. We weren’t together. And I trust that as soon as I asked you to stop seeing other girls, you did.” 

Noah nodded his head, reaching behind him for his phone before handing it over to you. 

“I did. You can even check if you don’t believe me-” 

You shook your head. 

“I do believe you.” You said, a little smile tugging at your lips as you handed his phone straight back, “You’ve never done anything to make me doubt you before, and you’ve just owned up to all of this. I trust you, Noah.” 

The moment he took his phone back, his face softened. He put his phone back down beside him on the bed as his throat bobbed, and for a moment he couldn’t look at you. His vision had blurred with tears, and he pressed his lips together while he thought of how to word what he wanted to say. 

Finally he took in a breath through his nose before turning to face you. He then reached over, both his hands finding your face, gently cupping your cheeks. 

“I love you so much.” He said quietly. 

And you could tell he meant it, 

“So fucking much.” He added, his voice a little shaky. 

Your face crumpled slightly as you tried to hold back your own tears, but it was impossible. 

“No, hey-” Noah laughed softly, “Don’t cry again.” 

“I can’t help it.” You said, laughing even as your bottom lip wobbled. 

He leaned forwards, pressing his forehead against yours, the both of you smiling stupidly through the tears. You stayed like this for a moment until he slowly pulled back, and then his smile started to fade again. 

Because he remembered. His eyes drifted from your face to the boxes, the empty walls, and you felt your heart sink. You knew exactly where his mind went- he was moving away. He was leaving this life, and you, behind. 

You watched him swallow and then he looked back at you again, and tried to smile, though it didn’t quite reach his eyes. 

“I hate this.” He finally said, quietly.

“What?” You asked, your brows furrowed. 

He laughed softly, though it sounded sad. 

“You’re here telling me you love me and you trust me…” he shook his head, “And I’m leaving at the end of the month.” 

He looked away then, and for a moment it was silent between you two.

“I’ve never wanted to stay somewhere before, not for anyone… but then this happened, you happened.” He said with another weak laugh, “I finally get everything I’ve ever wanted… and I’ve gotta leave it all behind-” 

“Noah.” 

He looked at you again, and you reached up, taking his hands away from your face and holding them tightly between yours.

“This is where I was going with all of this,” you whispered, giving his hands a little squeeze. He looked confused, so you continued. “I knew about this before I came here. Folio told me about the move, and he told me you were going to ask me to come with you before everything blew up between us…” You felt nervous now, nervous that he’d turn you down, but you kept going anyway. “I know it sounds reckless, and I know it probably seems like I haven’t thought about it properly-”

“Babe-”

“No, let me finish.” You said, looking right into his eyes. “If you still want me, if you still want us… then take me with you.”

For a moment, Noah didn’t move. He didn’t blink, he didn’t breathe, he just stared at you. You suddenly felt your stomach drop. Oh god, you’ve only just fixed things, maybe this was too much, maybe you-

“What?” Noah asked, still staring at you like he’d just imagined it. 

You swallowed hard, holding his hands even tighter. 

“What would I have left here without you, Noah? Steve’s… gone. Linda’s moving- the shop was going to be handed to me, but they’ve got two sons, one of them could have it… but I've also been thinking about selling it-”

“You can’t,” Noah shook his head, “That place has been owned by your family for years.”

You took another breath, trying to keep yourself composed. 

“I spoke to Glenn, just after Steve passed. I don’t know if you remember him, he was good friends with my uncle, he’d bring his car in sometimes even though there was nothing wrong with it, just to talk to him. He told me he’d take over if I ever needed it, if one day an opportunity came up. He said the only thing Steve’s ever wanted is to see me happy, to live my life with no regrets… he never wanted me to work there forever.”

Noah nodded his head, his eyes softening.

“Since everything happened, and since losing him, this town just doesn’t feel like home anymore.” You said softly. “It feels like my past… and ever since meeting you, every time I picture my future, you’re always there.” Your eyes lifted back to his. “It’s always you.”

You watched as every overwhelming emotion crossed his face- love and joy and affection- you could see it all in his eyes. 

“Baby…” He whispered, and you laughed shakily through fresh tears.

“I know it’s terrifying,” you admitted. “And yeah, maybe everyone’s gonna think I’m insane for following my boyfriend to LA after all of this-”

“Boyfriend…?” 

Your watery eyes met his again.

“Well…” you smiled shyly. “Unless you don’t wanna be?”

The silence between you only lasted a couple seconds, and it wasn’t from hesitation, it was pure awe. 

“Are you kidding?” He asked, suddenly lost for words, “Baby, of course… why would I say no…?”

You didn’t get to say anything before he pulled you into another kiss, kissing you so suddenly that it stole your breath, that your heart fluttered as you felt every word he couldn’t say. 

And when he pulled back, he gave you a proper smile, one you hadn’t seen in what felt like forever. 

“You’re serious about this? You really wanna come with me?”

You nodded your head. 

“I do.” 

“You’d really leave all this behind and move to a city you’ve never even seen before.” 

“Yeah.” You said simply. 

“You’d live in some shitty apartment with me? You’d really move in… with me?”

You nodded again. 

“I’ve learnt to put up with you over these months, it can’t be that bad.” You chuckled, making him laugh. 

“Shit… okay…” He grinned, then he pressed his forehead against yours like he couldn’t even stand the few inches of distance between you. “We’re really doing this.” 

You pressed a soft kiss to his lips. 

“Looks like we are.” You said, smiling against his mouth. 

Noah let out a shaky breath and kissed you again, but slower this time. His lips moved so gently against yours, like he was taking the time to memorise you all over again after all this time apart. His hand slid up to cradle the back of your head, his fingers gently threading through your hair as the kiss deepened. 

When he pulled back enough to look at you, his eyes weren’t dark or hungry, they were soft and full of such love and wonder. He gave you a look that silently asked for your permission, and as soon as you nodded, he reached for the hem of your top, gently lifting it over your head- then you did the same with his, letting your palms rest against his warm chest, feeling his heart beating fast beneath your fingers. 

There was no rush at all, he kissed every inch of your face- your forehead, your temple, the tip of your nose, the corner of your mouth, then he found your lips again. His hands gently explored your bare skin like it was the first time all over again. The tips of his fingers traced your spine, your ribs, the curve of your waist… and it wasn’t long before the two of you lost the rest of your clothes, then he laid you down on his bed. 

He settled between your legs, touching you with one hand while the other held himself up above you, looking at you with so much love it made your chest hurt. You let out a soft sound as his finger circled your clit, your hands reaching up to cup his face again, pulling him down into another kiss. 

“I can’t believe you’re really mine again.” He whispered when he pulled back for air, his nose brushing against yours. 

“I’m yours.” You breathed against his lips, “I’ve always been yours.”

With that, Noah kissed you again, deeper this time, and carefully lined himself up with you. He made sure to be extra careful as it had been a while since you were last in bed together. He slowlyand gently pushed inside you until he was buried to the hilt. Then he stilled, and the both of you let out a soft shaky sound. 

You wrapped your arms and legs around him, holding him as close as possible. You both stayed like this for a long moment, just holding each other, completely connected, your foreheads pressed together, breathing in the same air. 

When he finally started to move, he gave you slow, deep thrusts that let you feel every inch of him. Every movement was gentle, full of love and tenderness. He buried his face in your neck, pressing soft, open mouthed kisses against your skin as he moved inside you. 

“I love you,” he whispered between kisses, “So much…”

Tears began to fill your eyes again as you clung to him, your fingers gently running through his hair.

“I love you too,” you breathed, your voice trembling with emotion, “I missed you so much…”

He kept the pace slow the entire time, rocking into you with long, deep strokes. He had one hand between your bodies, stroking your clit, while your nails dragged down his back, leaving faint red lines across his skin. He shivered at the feeling. 

Your lips found his again, catching his bottom lip between your teeth for a moment before soothing it by kissing him even deeper. You don’t think he has ever been so soft and gentle with you, the thought of it not only made your heart squeeze, but your walls clenched around him too. 

“I’m close,” he pulled back to whisper, his face glowing with a sheen of sweat, “Are you?”

You nodded, your lips brushing his. 

“Yeah I’m with you… just like this.”

He kept the same slow, loving pace, kissing you deeply as the pleasure started to build. Your fingers tugged at his hair. A soft, trembling moan left your lips as you came, your body tightening around him in gentle pulses. Noah followed right after, burying his face in your neck again with a quiet, broken sound as he spilled inside you.

Neither of you moved too quickly after, you just held each other. Noah stayed buried deep inside you, arms wrapped around your body as he pressed soft kisses to your neck, your shoulder, your jaw. 

He finally lifted his head to look at you, his eyes soft and full of love. Without a word, he kissed your lips again, slow and sweet.

“I’ve got you,” he whispered, brushing damp hair from your forehead. “I’m right here.”

You smiled, tired and glowing, and pulled him back down so his head rested on your bare chest. Your fingers continued running through his hair as your heartbeats slowly settled together.

Noah pressed another kiss right over your heart, then nuzzled closer, wrapping himself around you like he never wanted to let go.

“Stay with me tonight,” he mumbled sleepily against your skin. “Stay with me every night.”

You kissed the top of his head, holding him tighter.

“I’m not going anywhere.”

…

For the first time in what felt like weeks, you woke up without that horrible heavy feeling in your chest suffocating you, without panic, without grief consuming you the second your eyes opened. Instead, you felt warmth. A whole 6ft 3 of warmth, to be precise. 

You sleepily blinked your eyes open, confused at how something heavy was wrapped around your waist, and something warm was pressed against your back. But then when you felt his slow breaths at the back of your neck, you couldn’t help but smile to yourself. 

The two of you were tangled up, one of his legs were somehow thrown over yours, and his arm was locked around your middle like if he loosened his grip the slightest, he’d lose you again. You just stayed there for a moment, listening to him softly snoring, feeling his chest rise and fall against your back. 

God, you’d missed this. Missed him. 

Slowly, you turned around just enough to look at him. His hair was a mess, falling into his face, his lips were slightly parted as he slept… and for a moment your chest had that funny feeling, because he looked so peaceful, like maybe he’d slept properly for the first time in weeks too. 

You slowly lifted your hand and brushed his hair back from his forehead, pressing a kiss to it. And as you pulled back, he reacted, scrunching his face slightly before he made a sleepy sound.

“Mmph.” 

You couldn’t help but smile. Then he opened one eye, then the other, and for a moment he stared at you sleepily, a confused look spreading across his face as he processed everything. Then suddenly his face softened, and he gave you a sleepy smile.

“...Hi.” His voice was rough with sleep, making your tummy do a fuzzy flip. 

“Hi.” You said as you smiled back. 

He stared at you for another second, then looked around the room, then back at you. Then he smiled big and wide, but buried it in the pillow. 

“What?” You asked with a soft, quiet laugh. 

Somehow, he moved even closer, pulling you closer into him, his arms wrapped tight around you as he pressed a soft kiss to your shoulder. 

“My girlfriend stayed over.” 

You snorted. 

“There he is.” 

“Mm, morning baby.” 

He pressed another kiss to your shoulder, then your neck, then your jaw, then lazily against your lips. You kissed him back, because how could you not, then he smiled against your lips before giving you another kiss. Then another, and another. Small, slow, needy, sleepy kisses… until you smiled into one of them. 

“What?” He asked, pulling back. 

“...Nothing.” You said, though he wasn’t convinced. 

“You better get used to this, baby. When we’re in our own apartment, this is how I’m gonna wake you up every morning.” 

“I woke you up.” You laughed as he kissed you again. 

“Shut up.” He grinned as he kissed you again. 

Then again, and again. Until eventually, you had to pull back because you were starting to giggle. 

“Noah-” 

“Nope.” He said as he kissed you again. 

“Noah-” You giggled, but again, he shut you up with another nope and another kiss. 

He kept doing this until you shoved gently at his chest. 

“Stop!” You said, still laughing, and his face dropped playfully. 

“Stop kissing you? You want me, your boyfriend, to stop kissing you, my girlfriend?”

“Yes!” You giggled. 

“But why?” He asked, putting on a sad face that made him look like a little puppy. 

“Because you’re being annoying!” You grinned despite yourself, and he innocently rested his chin on your shoulder. 

“Babe?”

“Hm?”

“Say it again.” 

“...Say what again? That you annoy me?” You laughed. 

“No… that thing you said yesterday. What you called me.”

You stared at him. 

“No.” 

“Baby-”

“No.” 

“Baaabe.”

“Noah.” 

“Please?”

You rolled your eyes. 

“Oh my god,” you groaned as you finally sat up. “Boyfriend? You want me to call you my boyfriend?”

He grinned wide, and it melted your heart, because you had been terrified you’d never see that smile again. Then his arms wrapped around you again as he kissed your cheek. 

“Mmhm. That hit the spot.” 

You let out a sigh as you rested your head on his chest, and tilted your head up to look at him. 

“Y’know, I was thinking…” 

He met your eyes suddenly, his smile softening. 

“About what?”

“I should probably go home soon and start figuring everything out… packing and calling people.” 

“Yeah?”

You nodded your head. 

“I just don’t even know where to start.” 

Noah looked at you quietly for a moment, before nuzzling his face into your hair, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. 

“I’ll help you, baby. You won’t have to do it alone,” his hand gently stroked up and down your arm, “I’ll be with you every step, okay?”

You nodded your head. He always knew just how to make you feel safe and reassured, even when you hated asking for help. 

“Thank you.” You said quietly. 

“No problem.” He said with a smile. “...I’ve gotta pee.” 

You stared at him, your expression blank. Trust him to ruin the moment. 

“Noah!” You groaned. 

“What?” He laughed, already sitting up, “I’m being honest, babe.” 

“Mm.” You grumbled, but he gave you one last kiss before stumbling sleepily out of bed in nothing but his boxers, and disappeared out of the bedroom. 

And you couldn’t help the smile that spread across your face after he left. 

… 

A little while later you found yourselves in the bathroom together, brushing your teeth- mostly because Noah refused to let you out of his sight. His exact words had been “I’ve only had my girlfriend back for like… twelve hours.”

So now you were standing beside him at the sink while he brushed his teeth, watching him in the mirror. He caught you staring almost immediately, and he lifted an eyebrow, his mouth still full of toothpaste as he made a noise.

“…Mph?”

You rolled your eyes.

“Nothing.”

He narrowed his eyes and pointed at you with his toothbrush. 

“Mmphmm.”

“Noah, I have no idea what you’re saying.”

He spat into the sink.

“I said,” he grinned, “You got a staring problem?”

“Pfft, as if.” 

He nodded like he didn’t believe you for a second. 

“You think I’m hot first thing in the morning, huh? You missed all of this?” He gestured to himself.

“You’re so annoying.” You scoffed.

And of course, he wouldn’t let you out of his sight when you were in the shower either, insisting you do it together. It felt nice, the two washed each other's hair, and then Noah started singing badly to purposely annoy you. And of course, it worked. 

“What’s up with you this morning?” You asked as you hesitantly reached for his 5-in-1 shower gel, since you made him give all your stuff back a while ago now.

He shrugged. 

“I’m just happy,” he said simply, “I’ve missed you.” 

And the smile he gave you made it impossible to stay annoyed at him, so you smiled back, before pulling him down into a kiss. 

“I’ve missed you too.” 

About an hour later you were both dressed and downstairs. Noah had made coffee, and was gathering his spare boxes from the house so you could start packing. 

You stared at them, the pile of flat boxes piling up on the couch. 

“You got so many.” You said as he threw another onto the pile. 

“I bought all of these back when I was planning to ask you to come with me, so I made sure I got enough.” He explained, and for some reason that hurt a little. 

He was going to have all these spare boxes- 

Suddenly his arm slipped around your shoulders and he pressed a kiss to your temple, as if he could sense the change in your mood. 

“Hey, no more sad face.” He told you, making you grin. 

…

By the time you got back to your place, Noah was taking this a lot more seriously than you expected him to, which really surprised you. You expected him to come in, throw your shit into boxes, forget the important things and somehow lose his phone halfway through. 

Instead he sat cross legged on your living room floor with a notebook in his lap. You sat beside him, hugging your knees as he clicked the end of a pen. 

“Okay.” He said, nodding seriously as he began to write on the page, “Things y/n is not allowed to stress about.” 

“…What?”

He ignored you.

“House.” Scribble scribble. “You rent this place, right?”

You nodded.

“Do you pay rent monthly.”

“Yeah… how much notice am I gonna have to give?”

“Uhh probably a month minimum? Maybe give your landlord a call-”

“Landlady,” you said proudly, “Her names Maxine, and she likes me so I’m hoping she’ll be okay with it.” 

“Okay, that's good.” His hand found your knee, “What about work? The shop?”

The thought of that hurt more than you wanted it to, and Noah clearly noticed. He looked over at you, his voice softening as he spoke. 

“You said you were thinking about handing it to Glenn?”

You nodded.

“He said he’d take it.”

“Then we call Glenn.”

Your eyes dropped to the notebook.

“…There’s probably loads of paperwork I'd have to do.”

“That’s okay.”

“And legal stuff.”

“We can handle that.”

“And then there’s all Steve’s things and-”

“Baby.” He interrupted.

You looked at him. Noah had put the notebook down now, and he had shuffled closer towards you. He reached up, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear. 

“You know what your job is right now? The only thing I'll let you worry about?”

You stared at him quietly.

“What?”

He smiled softly.

“Start packing.”

“What?” Your brows furrowed. “But-”

“I’ll handle everything else.”

“Noah-”

“I’m serious.”

His hand slid into yours, and his thumb brushed over your knuckles as he spoke softly. 

“You’ve just lost one of the most important people in your life, you’ve gone through hell and back this month… let me take care of things for a bit, okay?” He leaned forward and pressed a kiss against your forehead. “I’ve got this, I promise.” 

You frowned, your eyes starting to sting again. 

“Noah…”

He smiled softly.

“Just pack your things, baby. Start with clothes you don’t wear that often, or things in the cupboards you don’t use everyday.” He nudged one of the boxes toward you. “And maybe stop crying on everything or all your stuff’s gonna get wet.”

You let out a weak laugh at that and leaned forwards, giving Noah a kiss before standing up. 

“Fine.”

“Love you!” Noah called out as you left the room. 

“Love you too.” 

…

You stood in your bedroom, the bedroom you have lived in since you got this place three years ago. You still remember the day you moved in, Steve had friends with big vans who helped take all your stuff from his place to here, and you could still remember the look on his face when he left you by yourself on your very first night here. He told you he was proud of you, yet also terrified. Not because you were living alone, he knew for a fact you could handle yourself, you had always been so independent- it just scared him because of how quick you had grown up. 

One minute you were 8 years old and moving in with him and Linda, the next you were 15, working in the shop on the weekends, learning all about the ins and outs of cars. Then you were 18, moving out of what had become your home. Now, you’re almost 22 and about to restart your life without him. You had always imagined this happening- leaving this town- but you never imagined you'd be doing it without his help.

You tried not to get too emotional. You tried not to think about how proud Steve would be, and how relentlessly he’d be teasing you for stupidly breaking up with Noah over a lie, to then deciding to move across the country with him the very same night you got back together. 

You thought about what you’d say to him right now if he was still here. You’d ask him if he thought what you were doing was stupid, and then you heard his voice in your head,

“You gotta take the risk to find out. That’s what life’s all about, kid.” 

Though a tear slid down your cheek, you smiled. He was always right. 

So you started with your drawers, finding random things you forgot you even had. Concert tickets from shows you went to with her. Old birthday cards, because you could never throw them away, random polaroid pictures and photos from the photobooth at the bar Jess worked at. 

You found yourself sitting on the floor with the box beside you, throwing everything in… until you stumbled across something. An old coffee mug you never used with WORLD’S OKAYEST MECHANIC printed across the front.

You smiled softly, then frowned, then smiled sadly. Noah then appeared out of nowhere, stood by your bedroom door, his arms folded over his chest. 

“…What’s that face?”

You held the mug up.

“Steve got me this after I accidentally put diesel in someone’s petrol car.”

Noah stared at you, looking very unimpressed.

“You what?”

“I was seventeen!”

He looked horrified.

“Babe.”

“It was one time, Noah!”

He started laughing, shaking his head. 

“Remind me to never let you take my car to the gas station.” 

You rolled your eyes but you were still smiling.

“Have you packed much?” He asked, sitting on the edge of your bed. 

“Not really,” you sighed, “I keep getting distracted.” 

“You want some help?” He asked softly, and you nodded your head. 

You gave him the task of packing your closet. You grabbed a few things out to set aside so you’d actually have some clothes to wear before the end of the month. While he did that, you tried your best to carry on with the drawers- and just as you got back into it, your phone started buzzing on your bed. 

Noah picked it up, taking a look at the name on the screen. 

“Who is it?” You asked. 

“Jess,” he said, handing it over to you, “You want me to give you some space?”

"It's fine." You shook your head, and answered the call. 

 “Hey.” 

“FINALLY!” You immediately pulled the phone away from your ear.

“What the hell-”

“I’ve been calling you all morning but you haven’t been answering. How did it go?!”

“…What?”

“With Noah!” Jess practically yelled. “Did the two of you make up, or...”

You looked over at Noah, who was trying very hard to make it look like he wasn’t listening, folding a tshirt with a smirk on his face. 

“Yeah… yeah, we did.” 

She was quiet for a moment, until she finally said,

“And?”

You looked up at Noah again, his hair falling into his face while he organised your clothes in the box, and you couldn’t help but smile at his concentration face. Then he looked up for a moment, and when he noticed you looking, he smiled back at you. A small, soft, fond little smile. As if he couldn’t believe you were both here, packing up your room. 

“We talked- a lot actually- and then I stayed at his place last night.”

“Oh my god!!” She squealed, “So the two of you are back together?”

You smiled even wider, unable to stop it. 

“Yeah, we are. Properly this time.” 

She gasped. 

“He asked you to be his girlfriend.” 

“Well,” you said, “I kinda asked him to be my boyfriend.” 

Jess squealed again, unable to contain her excitement. 

“Oh, I’m so happy for you!” She said, and you could hear the pure joy in her voice, “And uh… I thought I should let you know I paid Maya a visit last night.” 

You swallowed. 

“Yeah?... what happened?”

“Well…” she said, “Nothing bad.”

“Jess.”

“I might’ve yelled a little.”

“…Just a little?”

“And maybe Sam had to get between us because I was about to do something stupid…”

Your eyes widened.

“Oh my god.”

“Relax! I didn’t kill her!” She laughed again, before adding under her breath, “Sam didn't give me the chance.”

You couldn’t help but laugh. 

“So what exactly did you do?”

Jess sighed dramatically.

“I just told her exactly what I thought.”

“What did you say?”

“Oh, y’know… I just asked her what you did for her to hurt you like that. She had no answer, so I asked her if it’s because she’s jealous, and I seemed to hit a nerve there.”

You scoffed, but she carried on. 

“We argued for like twenty minutes until she fucking slapped me. And I wasn’t gonna let that bitch think she can do that… there was a pretty much empty bottle of wine on her coffee table, so I grabbed that, then-”

You gasped, your hand covering your mouth.

“You didn’t!” 

“I couldn’t,” she scoffed, “That was when Sam stepped in, he told me she wasn’t worth it. Then he dragged me back to the car.”

For a moment, you processed everything she had said, knowing she did that for you. 

For as long as you’ve known her, Jess has always had your back- whether you were in the right or wrong. She had been there for you when nobody else has- during everything with Noah, losing Steve, nights where you had convinced yourself you were alone, that everyone eventually leaves and all you could rely on was yourself… 

It suddenly hit you, that you had never actually been alone. 

“Hey, you still there?” She asked over the phone. 

“Oh,” you suddenly laughed, quickly wiping under your eyes, “Yeah… sorry.” 

“...Are you crying?”

“No.” You said, though your sniffle gave you away.

“It sounds like it-”

“I’m not crying.” You insisted, and across the room Noah looked up immediately, his brows pulling together. 

You gave him a little smile and shook your head as if to say I’m okay, though he looked unconvinced.

“I’ll be right back.” You told Noah as you stood up.

“Everything okay?” He asked softly, and you nodded your head. 

“Yeah…” you smiled, “I’ll be two seconds.” 

He watched you carefully for a moment, like he was trying to read you, but he gave you a little smile nonetheless. 

“Okay, baby.” 

Baby. It’s funny how after all this time, your stomach still felt all warm and fuzzy every time he said it. 

You walked out into the hallway, pulling your bedroom door closed behind you before wandering down the stairs, and when you reached the living room you let out a long sigh. 

On the other end of the phone, Jess was explaining something to Sam, and you were grateful for the timing. You sat down on the couch, looking at the wall opposite you for a moment… at the framed picture standing up in your bookshelf. It was a picture of you and Steve, one Linda took when you all went on vacation almost ten years ago. It hurt to look at now, but despite the ache, your heart warmed at Steve’s grin. 

It made you think- if six months ago someone had told you that after losing Steve, after losing one of your best friends, after losing absolutely everything that felt comforting and familiar, you’d be trying to work out how to tell your one remaining best friend that you were about to move across the country with Noah the mechanic… you would’ve laughed in their face. 

“Sorry about that,” Jess said with a little laugh, “Sam didn’t know how to work the new dishwasher.”

You let out a small breath of a laugh, then swallowed. 

“Jess… there’s something I need to tell you.” 

“...What is it?”

You chewed on your lip for a moment… figuring out how to break it to her. 

“Did you hear Folio last night? He said Noah’s moving to LA?”

“Oh yeah,” she said, “It’s a good job you found out before-”

“I’m going with him.” You said suddenly… 

And Jess was silent. 

So silent that you actually pulled the phone away to check if either of you had accidentally hung up. 

“Jess?”

“...You’re what?”

“I was just thinking-”

“The two of you only got back together last night!” 

“I know, but… let me explain.” 

“Please do.” She said with a lighthearted laugh. 

You stared at the picture on the shelf again. 

“I don’t know if it’s the right thing to do. Only time will tell, but… Steve’s gone,” saying it still hurt, it still felt wrong, “Linda’s moving, I’d rather chew off my own arm than have to think about Maya again… and I know I’ve still got you and Sam, I know I do, but this place doesn’t feel the same anymore. My house doesn’t feel like home, this town just feels like a reminder of it all… and I feel like I’ve got to move on. I feel like it’s my time to leave this place, and hopefully I never look back.” You took a breath, then a little smile tugged at your lips, “And I know no matter what happens, or where I go, or how much we might argue over the stupidest thing… Noah feels more like home than anything I've ever known.” 

On the other end of the line, you heard Jess sniffle. 

“Are you crying?” You asked with a little laugh. 

“Can you blame me?” She asked, not even trying to hide it now. “After that?” 

“Sorry,” you chuckled, “You always knew I wanted to get out of here. And after everything that’s happened, I’ve just realised that life’s too short. If I don’t go now… will I ever?”

Jess went quiet for a moment before sniffling and asking,

“You’re really gonna leave me?” 

“Jess,” you frowned, “It’s not-”

“No no no,” she said quickly, sniffing again, “I’m happy. I’m so fucking happy for you. God, I adore Noah and I love you two together, and if anyone deserves to leave this shitty little town it’s you… but I’m really gonna miss you.”

Oh, that did it. A tear rolled down your cheek, you couldn’t hold them back anymore. Because now you weren’t thinking about Steve or Maya or how much you hated this town… 

You were thinking about summer roadtrips, driving around with the windows down, singing terribly with Jess. Movie nights, coffee runs, shopping trips, sleepovers where the two of you would sit in her room and talk shit and giggle until three in the morning. You used to talk about your futures, how you’d make sure your kids were best friends whether they liked each other or not, how you should be neighbours and raise them together. You thought about how she made a promise when she first started dating Sam that she’d never let him take your place, that you’d always come first… and she never went back on that promise. 

But here you were telling her you’re about to move across the country with a guy you haven’t even known for a year. It made you feel awful.

“I’m sorry…” 

“Don’t apologise!” 

“No,” you sobbed, “I know I’m being selfish and-” 

“Y/n.” She stopped you, “You are my best friend, and you deserve the whole world, and I’m so happy that you’ve got this opportunity. Noah’s proved himself to be worthy of you time and time again, so I’ve got no doubts that he’ll treat you exactly how you should be treated. You’re doing this for you. And sure, I’m going to miss you more than anything… but I’ll still come to visit- fuck, you’ll never get rid of me!” She laughed, “So let yourself be selfish. Let yourself be happy.” 

Those words really stuck with you, and for a moment you couldn’t say anything because suddenly it felt like everything was catching up to you again. But this time it didn’t feel hollow or crushing or panicked, if anything you felt like you were slowly making peace with it. 

“Jess-”

“Oh no.” She said suddenly, “Now we’re both crying!” 

“I’m not crying.” You said, shaking your head. 

“You’re doing the voice.”

“What voice?”

“The little wobbly voice you do before you cry.”

You let out a breathy laugh that betrayed you in an instant, because the second it left your mouth, it broke apart, and came out sounding a little choked. 

You weren’t even entirely sure why you were crying though. 

Maybe because you felt like you were finally giving yourself permission to stop feeling so guilty, to stop holding onto everything so tightly. It felt like you were being given permission to move forwards. 

For a while you’d felt like if you even smiled too much after Steve died, it meant you were leaving him behind. Like if you moved away, you were abandoning him, and if you chose Noah, you were choosing him over everything else.

But maybe you weren’t. Maybe you didn’t have to leave anything behind- the past, Steve, all your happy memories… maybe you just had to carry it with you in your heart, and let yourself move on with the rest of your life without feeling guilty.

Another tear rolled down your cheek, and another and another, until you couldn’t hold it back anymore and you let out a quiet sob. 

“Oh honey…” Jess whispered.

Before you could say anything, you heard the sound of soft footsteps coming down the stairs, and you looked up. Noah was there, carrying the cardboard box that was now full of your clothes… but the moment he met your eyes, concern washed over his face. 

“Baby?” He carefully set the box down on the floor, “What’s wrong?”

God, the poor guy looked terrified. Like he’d just walked in and assumed the worst, like maybe you had changed your mind, or someone else had called with bad news again. But you shook your head, laughing through your tears. 

“Nothing.” You said, though your voice came out a little weak. 

Noah’s eyes widened a little, and he stepped across the room until he crouched down in front of you, his hands finding your face, wiping away your tears with his thumbs. 

“What’s the matter?”

You shook your head again, tears slipping free now.

“Baby, talk to me.”

You let out another little broken laugh and reached for him immediately, your arms wrapping around his neck to pull him close, and your phone dropped down onto the couch beside you. Noah moved you, sitting down on the couch and pulling you closer until you were in his lap, both arms wrapped around him, your face buried into his shoulder, into his neck… and he just held you tighter. 

Then he glanced down at your phone, and put it on speaker. 

“Jess?” He said, his voice sounding concerned again. “Have I missed something?”

“No, everythings fine... they’re happy tears!” She called out. 

· · ─ ·✶· ─ · ·

i can't believe this is almost over :') i have no idea what to do with myself once this comes to an end...

note: sooooo. jesus christ. LOL. I'm so sorry this took me a few more days than I had hoped (and that it’s 2am); but I worked so hard on this and i hope you enjoy it!! I am frothing at the mouth and genuinely so happy with how the smut turned out. I have missed biscuit!noah so much, but thanks to this I am an absolute whore for hockey!noah all over again. Fuck me.

THIS IS A FANFIC ABOUT REAL PEOPLE IN FICTIONAL SCENARIOS. I AM NOT IMPLYING THIS IS HOW THESE PEOPLE ARE IRL OR THAT THIS SITUATION WOULD HAPPEN. IT IS FOR FANFIC PURPOSES ONLY!

⋆❆˚｡₊

It was the first time watching Noah play for the WHL in your hometown, the stadium arena already packed despite the game not starting for another forty-five minutes.

It had been over a year since the tournament where you met him; since the hotel hallways, and the boy who kissed you in a swimming pool like the rest of the world didn’t exist.

Now he played for the Raiders, and dozens of strangers wore his name across their backs.

Noah had flown in late the night before from a game in Montreal, but he definitely hadn’t let his late arrival stop him from proving just how much he missed you.

You followed Jolly and Ruffilo down the concrete steps toward the lower tunnel near the Raiders bench, the noise of the arena swelling the closer you got to the ice. Nicholas slowed slightly, glancing sideways at you before snorting. “Rough night? Or should I say, good night?”

“What?” Your brows pinched together as you winced on the last step, pulling your hands into the sleeves of your oversized jersey.

Ruffilo nudged Jolly with his elbow, nodding towards you while ignoring your response. “Tell me you see it.”

The Swede looked you up and down as he turned, chewing back a laugh. “…oooh yeah.”

Your eyes narrowed, flicking between the boys, “See what?”

Ruffilo wheezed again, “The walk.”

Halting on the last cement stair, you turned, shooting them a glare. “I do not have a walk.”

Jolly's grin widened as he nudged Nicholas. “Oh, you definitely have that ‘I-just-saw-my-boyfriend-for-the-first-time-in-weeks’ shuffle.”

Your cheeks burned as you shoved them both forward with more force than necessary. “You’re disgusting. Both of you.”

As you reached the players’ box entrance, Jolly leaned in teasingly, “So what I’m hearing is... no sleep happened.”

You pinched the bridge of your nose, fighting embarrassment. “Remind me again why I agreed to come down here with you two?”

“Because,” Ruffilo said cheerfully, resting his arms on the boards as he gave a casual nod to the coach, then looking out over the ice, “you love us.”

“Yeah, that,” Jolly added, grinning as he followed Nicholas’ stance, “and because Noah promised he’d buy us both a beer if we brought his good luck charm down here for a pregame smooch.”

Your head snapped toward him. “He did not.”

Ruffilo’s tongue ran over his teeth as he sang, enjoying the growing flush casting over your face. “Ohh but he absolutely diiiiid.”

“You’re both unbelievable. Or should I say all three of you?”

“Relax,” Nicholas said, waving a hand dismissively. “It’s a win-win situation. He gets his good luck charm, we get free beer… and you get-” he paused, grinning, “-maybe mono.”

Jolly nodded, glancing up at the ceiling in contemplation. “Yes. Worth.”

Shoving both of them again with your shoulders, you groaned, fighting the smile tugging at your mouth as you joined them, body pressed against the railing. “You idiots.”

You had almost forgotten how much you missed the other boys until now. With Nicholas, Jolly, and Matt all wearing different WHL jerseys these days, your paths rarely crossed. Their schedule clashed with Noah’s, making reunions like this one all the more precious.

A puck crashed against the boards below, the sharp crack reverberating through the lower bowl. Down here by the tunnel, sounds hit differently- the impact travelling through the vinyl under your palms. Another puck whizzed by, bouncing off the plexiglass with a ping before sliding across the gleaming ice toward the center rink.

Even more fans began filling the arena stands, and you listened to the bass of the music while the warmups commenced. Players from both teams began to cut across the sheet in fast arcs, skates carving thin scratches into the surface. Sticks tapped the ice, and every few seconds another shot rang out against the boards or clapped into one of the goalie’s pads.

One of Noah’s teammates streaked past the tunnel entrance in a blur of red and white, his skates sending up a fine spray of ice as he chased down a loose puck and ricocheted it off the boards. The rush of cold air made you shiver, and you tugged down the beanie you had stolen from Noah’s duffel this morning.

Jolly rested his forearms on the railing, watching the group with casual interest. “This is a nice arena,” he muttered approvingly, “I’m excited to play here in a couple of weeks with the Hitmen.”

Ruffilo hummed beside him. “Yeah. Loud too, just the way I like it. Matt’s gonna flip.”

Another shot fired high and slammed into the glass just a few feet away from where you stood. You flinched, and Nicholas nudged you gently with his shoulder. “Relax. If it comes through the glass, we’ve got bigger problems.”

Nicholas’s warning fell on deaf ears as your eyes swept across the rink, searching for Noah among the sea of players now covering the ice. Some of the Raiders lounged on the cold surface in stretches as teammates zipped around them, sticks dancing with pucks.

Through the blur of motion, you caught sight of Folio trading rapid passes with another player, their sticks clicking rhythmically until his partner suddenly accelerated forward and unleashed a shot that whistled toward the goal.

Your eyes followed the play for a moment, and then you saw him. Number twenty-six, no longer nineteen with the Panthers, cut across the blue line, collecting a pass mid-stride before snapping a wrist shot top shelf.

The puck hit the back of the net before the Raiders' goalie could even flinch. A smile spread across your face without thinking. Noah stood out from the blur of twenty players cutting across the ice, unmistakable. The way he moved now carried something new; his stride stretched longer, each push of his skates more assured than they had been last year. Watching him glide through the drill, you couldn't help but think: if you’d fallen for his talent then, what he had become now was something else entirely.

Jolly noticed where you were looking and leaned a little closer to the glass. “Oh look,” he nodded, “It’s the problem.”

Across the rink, Noah coasted toward the boards during the next rotation, stick resting loosely in his gloves while he waited for the next puck. His gaze swept across the glass near the tunnel until his eyes landed on yours behind the curve of his visor.

For half a second, his stride faltered, and then the corner of his mouth tilted upward into that infamous smirk- the one that had made you fall for him in the first place. Butterflies grew rapid in your stomach, the sensation sending heat down each of your arms until your fingertips burned.

Ruffilo sighed dramatically beside you, “And now he’s gonna show off.”

As if on cue, Noah pushed off hard, cutting back toward the blue line, collecting a pass before snapping a quick shot toward the net with immense force. The puck cracked against the back bar with a sharp ping, and before it had even settled in the net, he was already circling behind the goal, eyes searching through the glass for yours.

Ruffilo pointed. “See?”

Noah spun around again, slower this time, before he angled his path to the tunnel.

You straightened slightly as he coasted closer, snow spraying lightly beneath his skates as he braked near the boards. Up close and through the glass, the arena lights reflected off the curve of his visor, his chest rising heavily from the warmup drills.

He stared at you for a heartbeat before his lips pulled.

“What’s up, Captain?” you called through the glass. A quiet laugh escaped him, his breath creating a momentary fog between you as his gaze travelled across your features before dropping to the oversized Raiders jersey draped around your frame.

Noah caught his lower lip for a moment, then flicked his head toward the box in a silent invitation. You couldn't help the playful smile that spread across your face as you made your way over. The heavy door creaked open as you slipped through, offering the coach a quick wave before turning to find Noah already leaning against the boards, waiting.

The barrier of glass had disappeared between you. Standing this close, you felt the chill radiating off the ice seep into your skin, while the subtle hint of mint from his breath ghosted across your face as he leaned in, his cocky grin melting into something softer.

His voice came low, just a simple “Hey,” but the half-lidded look in his eyes made your breath quicken.

You tilted your head. “That’s it?” you teased, jerking your thumb over your shoulder toward Nicholas and Jolly. “You bribed them with beer to drag me down here for a ‘hey’?”

Noah’s ocher eyes drifted to where his team logo stretched across your chest, then back up to meet yours, “I bribed them,” he murmured, leaning his weight onto his forearms against the boards. “But certainly not just for a ‘hey’.”

“No?” You bit your lower lip, rising slightly on your toes as you gripped the edge between you.

Without answering, Noah reached over the boards, his gloved hand finding your waist and drawing you forward that final inch. He angled his head, the visor of his helmet hovering just above your forehead- before pressing his lips against yours in a kiss so gentle it made your knees weak, carrying that familiar taste that was uniquely his.

It was too quick for either of your liking, though it still made your stomach flip the same way it had the first time, especially since you knew there were fans in the stands watching. Behind you, Jolly and Ruffilo made a synchronized gagging sound that caused Noah to chuckle quietly against your mouth, his breath warm on your cheek as he pushed back and settled onto his skates.

He looked at you again, his eyes lingering on the fabric draped over you, and you watched his throat work slowly.

“Mine looks better on you,” Noah murmured.

“Yours is sweaty,” you teased, tugging at his collar gently before folding your fingers in front of you, “Plus, you’re biased.”

“Yeah,” he said easily, lifting a quick brow and twirling his stick in his hand, causing it to thunk against the barrier. “Very biased.”

You turned, giving him a glimpse of his surname stretched across your shoulders. “Well, least I’m still wearing your name,” you said, facing him again. Your gaze lingered on his mouth just long enough.

Noah’s eyes darkened as he read your expression, that familiar half-smile forming slowly on his face. His body was already leaning forward across the boards when his coach’s voice cracked through the moment.

“Sebastian! That’s enough. Get back out there and lead those boys.”

With the slight roll of his eyes as a response, Noah pushed off the wall, gliding backward slowly.

He tapped his stick against the boards, eyes glinting beneath his visor. “Don’t go anywhere. I’ll need another kiss before the game starts. For luck.”

You rolled your head toward the ceiling, but couldn’t stop your lips from curving upward as he glided back to join his teammates. The door to the players’ box swung open with a metallic groan.

Jolly ducked through first, hands buried deep in his pockets as he settled next to you along the boards. Ruffilo followed close behind, shoulder brushing yours as he took his place.

The swede watched Noah for a second before shaking his head. “I still think it’s crazy,” he muttered, scoffing a laugh, “that you two met in a fucking hotel pool.”

“Yeah,” Nicholas added. “I mean, people at least meet on tinder or something.”

+

As the clock counted down toward the first period, the warmup intensified, players colliding in their rush to get final shots on goal.

“So I’m standing there, right?” Jolly waved his arms while you scanned the ice for Noah. “And this ref- this absolute clown- tells me to stop arguing. I look him dead in the eyes and say, ‘This isn’t an argument. I’m educating you on why you’re completely wrong.’”

Ruffilo rolled his eyes. “Classic.”

“Yeah well that was two minutes in the box,” Jolly continued, ignoring him. “For unsportsmanlike conduct.”

“Worth it though?” you asked, smiling.

Jolly’s shoulders slumped. “It wasn’t until Coach dragged me over to apologize after the final buzzer.”

The scrape of blades on ice drew your attention as a player in green and yellow stopped just inches from the boards, chest heaving as he caught his breath between rotations.

The player’s gaze swept across your small group in the box, lingering first on Jolly, then Ruffilo, before settling on you with interest. His attention was fixed on the red and white fabric draped over your shoulders.

A smirk tugged at his mouth as his golden eyebrows arched upward. He leaned one elbow against the barrier, the green and yellow of his jersey catching the harsh arena lights.

“That’s a shame,” he said, nodding at your chest. “A girl like you should be wearing our colours tonight.”

Beside you, Ruffilo’s breath hitched softly before a slow grin spread across his face. “Oh, this is gonna be good,” he whispered.

You fingered the hem of your jersey, eyes flicking up to meet the blonde player’s stare. “Well, green’s not really my colour,” you shrugged, chin tilting toward the opposite side of the rink, “plus, someone over there might disagree with you.”

The man’s gaze tracked your gesture across the ice, landing on number twenty-six. Noah carved tight circles at center ice, his shoulders rigid as he slapped pucks toward teammates without looking, jaw visibly tight even from this distance.

“Ah,” the blonde’s cocky smile faltered slightly. “You’re Sebastian girl.”

Jolly let out a quiet whistle beside you. “And looks like he noticed.”

Across the rink, Noah caught another puck on his blade. Instead of sending it into the team, he turned and glided towards you. He slowed, still balancing it on his stick while his helmet tilted at the small group.

The player noticed too, which only caused his smile to sharpen, and once Noah was close enough, he leaned closer with a cocky laugh, “Still think you’d look better in our colours.”

For a second, Noah didn’t answer. You watched as your boyfriend stared directly at his opposition, jaw working in annoyance. Then, almost absently, Noah tugged one glove off with his teeth, dropping it onto the ice, before pulling off his helmet.

The puck slid off his stick and clattered softly against the surface, and he slid closer to the opening of the box, eyes refusing to leave the man who stood beside you.

His eyes finally found yours, the irritation melting away into something hungrier, more possessive. Before you could process what was happening, Noah’s fingers had slipped under your chin, tilting your face upward for his gaze to catch your mouth.

His lips met yours with an intentional slowness that was very much meant to be seen, tongue pressed against your lower lip with a hunger that held you in place, your shoulders immediately relaxing as you melted into his mouth.

When Noah finally pushed back, his inked thumb brushed once along your jaw, his eyes flicking back to the opposing player in challenge, pupils wide with steely composure.

“Careful,” he said calmly, the word all too quiet for the way his chest heaved. Noah’s head tilted as he glanced toward the clock over the rink. “Just a reminder, you’re gonna have to play me in about two minutes.”

He retreated across the ice, gaze locked on his opponent until the last possible second before sliding his helmet back on and scooping up his discarded glove. Noah tossed you a final look- one that left your heartbeat stumbling.

The player only scoffed, glancing at you quickly with a smug grin before skating back toward his bench.

Once he was gone, Jolly snickered beside you. “Well, that guy is fucking dead.”

+

Noah had played brutally that night. Ruffilo and Jolly joked about “someone getting beat tonight,” and they certainly weren’t wrong.

Leaning forward slightly in your seat, your fingers curled together nervously as you watched Noah skate into the center for the third-period faceoff. Even from the stands, you could see how furious he was.

The whistle cut through the arena, and the puck dropped. Noah lunged forward like a predator, stick cracking against ice as he won the face-off with a clean sweep back to his defenseman. In the same motion, he plowed his shoulder through the opposing center, sending the man stumbling.

Above you, the Raiders mascot hammered a drum that seemed to vibrate through your bones. Goosebumps prickled along your arms as you watched Noah skid to a halt, ice crystals showering over another player’s skates. When his teammate fumbled the puck, Noah pivoted sharply, his entire body coiled with tension as he gave chase.

“Jesus,” you muttered, swallowing thickly as your stomach twisted. You weren’t sure you had ever seen Noah play this angry, let alone for an entire game.

Jolly laughed quietly under his breath while Ruffilo rested a hand on his chin.

Their skates sliced deep arcs across the rink, and players slammed into the boards while the puck rocketed end to end in violent bursts. Every time Noah touched the ice, the entire pace seemed to shift, but it wasn’t until he came face to face with the man who had chirped you earlier that everything snapped.

The blonde had been avoiding him all game; and when he tried to slip past Noah near the wall, reaching his stick around to pull the puck free, Noah stepped into him with a brutal shoulder check that rattled the glass so hard a vibration buzzed through the floor beneath you.

Rage coloured Noah’s face crimson as he pinned the snickering opponent against the glass. The barrier shuddered under their combined weight, the blonde’s helmet making a hollow thud each time Noah pressed harder. They remained locked together- Noah’s glove twisted in the back of the man’s jersey, his other forearm jammed across the player’s throat.

Though you couldn’t make out the words, you watched the blonde’s breath cloud his visor as he whispered something that made Noah's jaw clench tight enough to strain the tendons in his neck, his body leaning in with renewed fury.

Ruffilo muttered beside you, “Oh shit, they’re talking.”

Noah’s fingers twitched at his sides, hovering near his gloves for a heartbeat while your pulse hammered in your ears. Then he drove the player harder against the glass instead, the barrier quaking beneath the impact before he thrust away, sending his opponent stumbling backward across the ice.

A whistle cut through the arena as a referee glided between them, arms outstretched, while the crowd’s roar swelled to the ceiling. Noah drifted backward, chest heaving beneath his jersey, gaze sweeping the stands until it locked with yours. Something dark and possessive flashed in his eyes, stealing your breath before he turned that same look back toward the blonde.

“Enough,” the ref barked, pointing them both in opposite directions.

Dragging a slow breath through his teeth, Noah skated away slowly until the opposing player laughed. The blonde then yelled loud enough for you and Noah to catch his words, head tipping towards the crowd briefly.

The blonde’s voice carried across the ice, sharp and taunting. “That’s supposed to be your girl? The way she kissed you, it seems like she’s looking for an upgrade. I could help her out.”

Noah pivoted before the referee's whistle finished its shrill cry. Too late.

His gloves slapped against the ice as his bare fist connected with the opponent’s jaw in a sickening crack that whipped the man’s head sideways. Noah’s fingers twisted into the jersey fabric, slamming him backward into the boards with such force that the glass shuddered again.

The arena exploded. Your pulse hammered as you found yourself on your feet. Nicholas and Jolly shouted hoarsely beside you, pumping their fists skyward, bellowing encouragement.

On the ice, helmets collided as Noah straddled his opponent, tattooed knuckles finding their mark against the blonde’s jaw. The referee lunged between them too late; the blonde had already locked an arm around Noah’s neck. Across the rink, Folio shed his gloves and charged forward, seizing Noah by the shoulders to pull him away.

“Oh, he is so getting suspended tomorrow!” Ruffilo hollered, grinning ear to ear as Noah finally relented to Folio’s tug, leaving his opponent sprawled on the ice with blood streaming from what could only be a shattered nose.

Minutes later, the final horn cut through the arena's roar. Raiders 5, Vipers 2. As the crowd surged to their feet, players glided toward the exit.

Ruffilo snorted beside you, extending a hand to help you down toward the tunnel. “Great leadership tonight from the captain,” he said dryly. “That was such an inspirational knuckle sandwich.”

Jolly tipped his chin toward the tunnel with a snicker at the comment. “Let’s get you down to the locker room before security realizes you don’t have clearance.”

The hallway beneath the arena was louder than you expected.

Players clattered past, their sticks knocking against the rubber flooring while the sharp smell of sweat and damp equipment hung in the air. Somewhere further down the corridor, their coach was yelling about the fight, and that’s when Jolly shouldered open the door leading to the hall of the locker room.

The pulsing arena music faded to a dull thud behind you. Three steps in, the locker room door burst open, the sound echoing against the concrete walls.

A group of Raiders spilled out noisily, helmets half off and towels slung around their shoulders. A player with a fresh bruise forming under his eye bumped Folio's shoulder.

“That cross-check was filthy,” he said, grinning. “Highlight reel material.”

Folio barely acknowledged the compliment, muscling through the cluster of teammates. When he spotted you approaching, his expression flattened.

“Oh, good,” he said mumbled, stepping aside and jerking his thumb toward the locker room behind him. “You deal with him.”

Heat rose to your ears as you glanced between him, Ruffilo and Jolly. “Is he angry?” you asked.

Folio yanked the towel from his neck and swiped it across his glistening forehead with a snort. “Not angry,” he said, shoving the door wider with his shoulder. “But he’s being weird.”

Somehow that sounded worse, so you stopped just outside the doorway, the noise of the locker room echoing out into the hallway as players moved around inside.

Behind you, Ruffilo settled his weight casually against the paint-chipped cement wall, arms crossed. Jolly’s eyes, meanwhile, had already spotted something through the open doorway.

“…oh boy,” he muttered, and you barely had time to glance back before a shadow filled the doorway.

Noah stepped out. He was half out of his gear already, shoulder pads hanging loose beneath his jersey, helmet gone, and his dark hair damp with sweat. One glove was missing, the other dangling from his fingers, while the tape around his knuckles from the punch had started to peel loose.

For a moment, he just stood there, his gaze locked on you, expression impossible to read.

Beside you, Jolly let out a slow breath. Ruffilo straightened from the wall and nudged Folio's shoulder.

“Well,” Ruffilo said with forced casualness, “This seems like a private conversation. Peace, dudes.”

“Agreed,” Jolly nodded immediately. “Just… try not to punch anyone else, brother. Yeah?”

The two of them retreated down the corridor while Folio nudged past Noah’s still form and disappeared into the locker room.

The rubber flooring barely muffled the click of his skate blades as he moved toward you.

On the ice, Noah had been imposing- now, with those extra inches of height from his skates, he towered. You had to tilt your head back just to meet his gaze. His attention drifted from your eyes to the jersey you wore, then back up again. The tip of his tongue traced slowly across his teeth as he studied you. You opened your mouth to speak, but Noah beat you to it.

“Did you hear what he said?”

You blinked, thrown off slightly by the question. Of all the things you expected him to say after that fight, it hadn’t been that.

“I mean, it was hard not to,” you replied softly, looking up at him through your lashes. You caught the way his jaw flexed, and for a moment, all he did was stare at you again, as if searching for something in your expression.

“You believe him?” he asked.

With a tilt of your head, your brows pinched together. “Believe-” you began, before letting out a quiet huff of disbelief. “Noah…”

He didn’t smile, the muscle in his jaw tightening even more, and that's when you realized that he was jealous.

“He was talking about kissing you,” Noah muttered, voice low. “Like he had a shot.”

“You really think I’d downgrade like that?” you asked softly, and Noah’s gaze darted to the floor as he swallowed the sudden insecurity.

Your eyes darted briefly to his mouth, taking a step closer. “If you’re worried, though…” You teased lightly, “Feel free to remind me, Sebastian.”

The hallway hummed faintly with the noise of the locker room behind him, but he seemed to hear none of it. His eyes dropped to your mouth, then back to your face, before meeting your step. The movement was small, though on his skates it closed the distance instantly, forcing you back a half-step until your shoulders brushed the cool concrete wall.

His name barely left your mouth before his hand caught the front of the jersey you wore, his inked fingers curling into the fabric near your collarbone, tugging you forward just enough to erase the space between you. Noah’s mouth crashed against yours, the kiss not even close to how it was before the game.

There was no teasing smirk or careful glance toward the stands to see who might be watching; it was possessive, the way his lips moved against yours, clearly trying to prove something he didn’t even need to.

Noah’s other hand found your waist before you could catch your breath, yanking you against him as his tongue sought entrance past your lips. You clutched at his shoulder pads for balance; he towered even taller on skates, feeling the hard plastic give slightly under your fingers while he angled his head to claim your mouth more thoroughly.

His dark hair fell across your forehead, still wet from the game, as his grip on your waist tightened with each passing second in the empty hallway.

Suddenly the sound of a door slamming somewhere nearby made you jerk back.

Noah made a dismissive sound in his throat and pulled you against him again, one hand sliding down to cup your ass possessively, not caring who saw. With his other hand, he traced the edge of the jersey collar he’d just crumpled in his fist.

“Careful,” he murmured against your mouth, mirroring the word from the game. “You’re the one who told me to prove it.”

With the hitch of your breath, the warmth of his words brushed your lips while his forehead rested briefly against yours, and suddenly, the hallway felt a lot less private.

The sound of boots and voices bounced off the concrete walls, followed by raucous laughter from the opposing team’s locker room as a door swung open and then clicked shut.

You pulled back just enough to meet his gaze, your fingers still tangled in the plastic edges of his shoulder pads.

“Right here? In the hallway?” you whispered, eyebrow raised.

A low chuckle rumbled in Noah’s chest, but his grip only tightened, palms sliding to bracket your hips and tug you against the rough fabric of his hockey shorts. “I’m considering it,” he said, eyes darkening. “Might be worth it just to let that fucker watch.”

Voices echoed from around the corner. Noah’s head snapped toward the sound before his eyes found yours again. He released your hips with a reluctant squeeze.

“Give me five minutes to change,” he murmured, backing away. His skate blades tapped a quiet rhythm against the rubber floor. “Wait for me.”

His gaze traveled slowly down your body, lingering. One corner of his mouth lifted in that way that made your stomach flip.

“Right here,” he added, lowly. Then he was gone, the locker room door swinging shut behind him.

+

By the time you and Noah finally pushed through the arena doors, the night air had become cold.

He had changed into his usual grey sweats and a dark hoodie, his damp hair still slightly messy from the game. The bruise along his knuckles had darkened under the parking lot lights.

Your eyes dropped to his hands instinctively, and he noticed, reaching for your hand to entwine your fingers.

“So worth it,” he said simply, your lips twitching with the shake of your head.

He guided you across the parking lot with the tug of your hand, his hockey bag thunking behind him with every crack in the pavement. The two of you were quiet as you walked toward your car.

The arena noise faded behind you as he opened the passenger door, letting you slide in. Your fingers had just curled around the handle to pull it closed when Noah leaned against the doorframe instead, one arm braced along the roof as he looked down at you. That same look was still in his eyes.

“Alright, beautiful,” he murmured, his gaze flicking once across the empty parking lot before settling back on you again. “You want that reminder here…” he said slowly, licking his lips, “…or back at my hotel room?”

You answered with your hands instead of words, fingers twisting into the soft fabric of his hoodie and yanking him down to meet your mouth. The kiss was all teeth and breath.

Noah’s palm slapped against the car door as it started to swing shut, his other hand finding your waist and dragging you from the passenger seat. In one fluid motion, he had the back door open.

The leather seat creaked beneath you as you slid backward. Noah followed, his body eclipsing the parking lot lights as he pulled the door closed with a decisive thunk. The locks clicked into place with a push of his finger, and then his weight was pressing you into the seat, his shadow covering you completely.

His chest rose heavily, and you weren’t sure if it was from the game or the hard press of his arousal in his sweatpants, but the dim glow of the parking lot lights through the window caught the way his inked neck swallowed thickly.

Noah’s laugh was dark, almost predatory as he pressed his weight against you. “The nerve of that fucking guy,” he muttered, fingers finding the elastic of your leggings.

“Even with my name and number across your back,” he said, voice dropping lower with each word. His eyes locked on yours while his grip tightened. “he still thought he had a fucking chance?”

“Well,” you whispered, tilting your head with a small smile, “you didn’t seem worried about your odds.”

He tugged the fabric of your leggings roughly down your thighs as he leaned in, his breath hot against your ear. “That’s because,” Noah whispered, the words vibrating through you, “I already know exactly what you sound like when you’re mine.”

Your knees knocked against his hips as he shifted above you, the backseat too narrow for his broad shoulders. Cool air rushed over your skin as he dragged your leggings down and tossed them aside, leaving nothing but the thin fabric of your underwear between his hungry gaze.

Noah’s fingers curled under your thighs as he pulled you closer, hips rocking between your knees, not shy about the want pressing thick against his sweats. He buried his nose in the side of your jaw, inhaling as he could never get enough, and then bit gently below your ear. You whined, breath catching, and felt his lips curl up as he tasted the sound in the hollow of your neck.

The car was already fogging; the cold air outside clashed with the heat between you. Every time you tried to get a hand under his hoodie, he blocked you, gripping your wrists in one hand and pinning them above your head and forcing you to feel how much stronger he had gotten since last year, since the pool and the hotel.

His mouth trailed down the hollow where your pulse jumped against his lips, planting bruises where the collar of his jersey would almost cover them, his hands clamped over your wrists in reverence.

Noah pressed you deeper into the seat, the stretch of your arms above your head a silent demand while heat pooled in your stomach, making you squirm. A whimper caught in your throat as he rocked his hips forward, the endless hard line of him trapped between grey cotton. He didn’t let up, another helpless sound escaping your throat as he ground against the seam of your soaked underwear, thighs squeezing together at the friction.

He wanted you desperately. He wanted his name painted on your own lips- needed it after that fucking game, especially after the way that guy had looked at you through the glass. Every drag of his mouth and fistful of your skin proved it, spelling your name into the crook of your neck with his tongue, the edge of his teeth unrelenting as he marked you.

Noah’s voice was barely a whisper, “You know who you belong to, right?”

You shivered, pressing your hips up to meet his. “Yes. You.”

“That’s right princess,” he rasped, fisting the elastic of your panties so hard the seams snapped at your hip. He dragged them down and off, baring you to the frigid air just for the pleasure of watching your body react. A flush spread up your thighs and over your ribs as his hand skimmed up, slipping between your legs, gathering every slick inch of you and coating his fingers.

One knuckle curled inside you almost lazily, the other hand holding both your wrists in place as he watched your jaw go slack and your lashes flutter. A low noise buzzed from the back of his throat, and he pressed in deeper until the heel of his palm ground into your clit.

Noah’s wrist flexed, the heel of his palm crowding against the swollen ache between your thighs. You tried to keep quiet, but he wasn’t having it, pinning your hands tighter above your head and tsking softly as your hips threatened to buck off the seat. The whole time, he never looked away from your flustered face, your mouth parted, and your eyes glazed.

“You wanna make some noise?” he growled, his thumb circling mercilessly while two fingers curled up inside you slowly, “Go ahead. Let the whole fucking parkinglot hear how I wreck you.” The sound that left your throat could probably have turned the ice in the arena to slush, and he dove for your neck, teeth grazing the gentle bruises he had just left.

His ragged breath scorched your skin as his teeth sank in, one hand yanking his sweats past his hips while the other never stopped its relentless rhythm inside you.

It was so sharp, the way his cock caught against your thigh as he slid down the seat, burying his nose lower and inhaling at the junction of your leg, relishing in the ruined elastic of your underwear. He yanked his sweats the rest of the way down, his arousal springing free and slapping hot against his stomach. His hand wrapped firmly around the base of his cock, knuckles still red and darkening by the second, and he didn't hesitate.

Pulling your hips flush and dragging the slick head up and down the length of your arousal, Noah mouthed at your collarbone, “Don’t even pretend you don’t want it like this, spread out in the backseat like a fucking groupie.”

You tried to answer, but the words choked off as he thrust in shallow, pressing the tip only partway before pulling out and slapping it against you. He groaned at the sound, closed his eyes like it was all he had ever wanted. Noah’s teasing was agony as he continued; he stretched you, then slipped back, every motion taunting, as if he meant to wring submission from your body and make you admit to every last drop of want that had pooled there since landing last night. Since he pounded you into your mattress.

He watched your lips part, and if that fucker from the other team could see the look on your face now, he would never have opened his goddamn mouth in the first place.

Noah’s groan was deep as he gathered your knees up and apart, your calves bracing his ribs, and pressed forward. The head of his cock stretched you wider than his fingers ever could, and the ache of him filling you slowly was everything you had been thinking about since the second intermission.

Then he bottomed out in a single brutal stroke. “That’s it, baby, take it for me,” he breathed. “Take it like you fucking need it.”

Your hands shot down to claw at his thighs with a moan, nails sinking into the bunched waistband of his sweats, but Noah leaned all his weight into his palm and hammered you into the vinyl. The seatbelt buckle dug into your back, hard enough to leave a mark, and you rocked with every thrust, body arching against his.

Over the last year, you had loved that Noah fucked like he played hockey: relentless and with zero hesitation- a breakaway sprint with only one goal.

“Look at me,” your boyfriend demanded, voice shredded and raw. His hand caught your jaw, thumbs pressing to the hinge, forcing your gaze up, eyes wet and glossy and barely able to focus on his face while he railed into you. “Look at me when I fuck you, baby, c’mon, that’s it-” Your breath caught on the sound, every limb on fire.

The words spiked in your veins, almost more than the thick brutal drag of his length. He set a punishing rhythm, the whole car groaning beneath the collision of your bodies, windows steamed opaque except for the quick, shuddering wipes of your palms smearing the condensation.

Noah kept you there, anchored and helpless, taking every inch of your pussy in claim. The way you clenched him made his teeth grit, and every time you moaned his name or pleaded, he fucked you deeper.

“Y’know,” he spat, laughing as his hand gripped the back of your neck, pulling your body head forward, forcing you to look at the way he slid inside your body, “I bet that guy’s never even seen a pussy up close.”

You could barely laugh, the angle stealing all the air from your chest as you watched the head of his length disappear between your thighs, every inch that pulled out shining in the neon parking lot glow, then vanishing as he pushed back in.

“You want a closer look, princess?” Noah rasped, hips stuttering as your cunt squeezed him so hard he nearly folded. “Look at how pretty you look stuffed full of me. Fuck, that’s my girl.”

He groaned, his next phrase leaving you shaking.“My good fucking girl.”

Tonight drew something meaner out of him: the way he bruised your neck, the way he pressed the curve of your knee up and back so he could grind deeper, the wet sound of his cock splitting you echoing off the glass louder than he probably realized.

But he didn’t care. He needed to prove you were his, always and forever.

Noah withdrew suddenly, his breath ragged as he collapsed back against the seat. He yanked you forward by your thighs, dragging you onto his lap with possessive hands. He pressed your legs around his hips, locking you in, an arm tight at the small of your back.

He seized your jaw with his other hand, thumb rough on your lower lip. “Open.”

You obliged, and he spat, a hot slick string landing on your tongue, filthy and so fucking necessary. 

“Swallow,” he seethed, and the pride in his voice, the pure animal possessiveness, hit you wild in a way you had never felt with him before.

With another praise he pushed you down onto his length, forcing the angle so every thrust ripped another ounce of restraint from you, every bounce of your hips slapping skin to skin and making you dizzier, sweat and arousal mixing. Your face burned, thighs trembling as your nails ran through his scalp, pulling his lips to yours.

You couldn’t keep still on his lap, each grind catching at the oversensitive place where he filled you. Both of his hands palmed your ass, rutting you down over each punishing thrust as you rode him.

You wanted to say something smart and joke about the way he was acting like a goddamn animal, but all that came out were half-choked whimpers, the breath smothered right out of you each time the thick head of his length bottomed out. Noah didn’t let up, let alone think about mercy- just muttered more filth into the shell of your ear.

“Look how much of a mess you are,” he growled into your mouth, tongue swirling with your own, “so needy you can’t even fucking talk, just bouncing yourself dumb on my lap.”

You whimpered, the sound collapsing into another open-mouthed moan as he slapped a hand against your ass. “Noah, please- I need to cum so bad.”

His fingers slid up your torso, clamping down at the base of your neck, holding you steady. “You wanna cum? Then fucking earn it. Put your hands behind your back.”

You obeyed, arms immediately dropping behind as he jerked you up and down his body, using you. His lips mashed to yours, teeth catching on your tongue as he groaned into your mouth, spit and air and heat an endless fervour.

“Bet he could never fuck you like this, huh? Never make you beg, never fill you up so deep-”

With a lazy nod you bit at his jaw, high off the frantic slap of his hips. “No one else, Noah-” you cried, eyes squeezing shut as he reached between your bodies, thumb pressing quick circles against your need.

He smiled against your skin, pushing you back slightly, “You gonna let anyone else touch you like this?”

“No,” you panted, “I’m only yours.”

He spat another laugh, dragging your ass back down even harder, watching  his jaw, the ink and lines of his neck straining, “Fucking rights you are.”

He palmed the crown of your head and yanked your mouth to his again, moans leaving both of your chests with complete desperation. Noah rolled his hips again and held you open, one hand at the base of your throat and the other fisting your hair to make sure you never looked away. When you started to tremble, thighs twitching around his waist as you approached your orgasm, he just grinned, teeth sharp as he set a meaner rhythm and forced a choked scream out of your lungs.

“Atta girl,” he panted, sweat beading along his temple, “Didn’t even get to the hotel before you’re begging.” His thumb slid up to your lips, his thumb pressed into your mouth, hooking at the edge of your teeth. 

“Open,” he breathed. You did, tongue lolling as he forced it between your lips. “Suck on it like you mean it, Y/N.”

Your name sounded vulgar rolling off his tongue, and you hollowed your cheeks around his thumb, drawing a groan from him as your body clenched involuntarily around his length. “Noah,” you gasped, barely able to form words. “I can’t, I'm so close-“

“Then cum,” he commanded. His thumb rolled circles inside your mouth, the hunger in his hands and voice enough to push you over.

You whimpered when he pressed in deeper, flattening your clit against the hard plane of his pelvis. He drew back, just enough to spit at you again, the string of saliva slicking your tongue before you swallowed it down and moaned, desperate and eager for the next thing he had to offer; and that’s when you caught the hitch in his breath, and the way his cock flexed inside you at the sight.

“Christ, I could fuck you here forever,” he groaned, face contorting as his eyes fell shut, chest heaving with a ragged inhale, “but I need to cum inside you. Now.”

His grip abandoned your throat, fingers finding that swollen bundle of nerves again, determined to drag you over the edge with him.

The pressure spun tighter, burning up your back and down through your thighs, every nerve ending focused on the vicious drag of his arousal and the attention he gave her desire. With a final push of his hips, Noah held you still, and the sight of his head falling back, eyes half-lidded as he watched your face, pushed you over.

Your orgasm snapped across your body, Noah’s name falling past your lips in prayer as he held you close. Your breath sawed in and out, bracing against his chest as the fabric of his hoodie twisted in your fingers. Noah’s hands clamped around your hips, holding you firmly as he fucked up into you hungrily, a groan splitting through his teeth as a mix of your and his release coated the length of his cock.

You blinked, still high off the aftershock, mouth loose and trembling while Noah’s arms gripped you so tight you could barely breathe. His body shuddered under you as sweat matted his hair to his forehead, a flush spreading over his cheekbones. The air in the car was so hot you felt dizzy .

His head dropped to your shoulder, lips brushing the bottom of your ear. “Next time someone tries to talk to you like that,” he panted, “You fucking show them these marks.” Noah’s hand slid over the bruises blooming along your neck, gentle now, his tongue laving the salt from your skin.

Noah kept you on his lap longer than he needed to, relishing in the feeling of your body against his. After a long minute, you let yourself collapse into his chest, face pressed into the soft cotton at his throat. His heart jerked under your cheek, and that’s when you realized he was shaking a little, arms wrapping around your back protectively.

“I love you so goddamn much,” He whispered, peppering kisses on top of your hair, fingers lacing through the strands affectionately.

“I love you too,” you murmured. Noah’s arms tightened instinctively around you as you shifted just enough to look up at him. “And for the record…” You added, your fingers brushing lazily along the front of his hoodie, “I only ever want your name across my back.”

Noah rested his chin on your shoulder, the shadow of his laugh muffled by your hair. His hands wandered up and down your spine slowly, gently and warmly. It wasn’t long before the silence between you thinned, breath in sync.

“Good,” he whispered, and you leaned back, eyes tracing his face.

He pulled you in for a kiss, one that was longingly sweet and reverent. A lazy smile played across Noah's mouth as he let your lips part, eyes flicking open and closed in a dazed way, the soft sweep of his lashes against your cheek the only movement for a moment.

The fog in the car had condensed into beaded droplets on the glass, distorting the parking lot lights into dreamy constellations that blurred and swam when you blinked. For all the violence of the game and the sting in his knuckles, Noah’s hands now held you as if you were glass; something delicate and breakable.

Your boyfriend tipped his head back against the seat, running a palm up your bare thigh, fingers trailing until they settled lightly around your knee.

“Was that too much?” he asked, voice so low it barely registered as a question. “I got a little carried away.”

There was a flicker of something boyish in the apology, a sheepishness that burned through his cheeks as he looked away. 

With a small smile, you reached a hand up, cupping his cheek. He closed his eyes for a second under your palm, then coughed out a crooked laugh, “I’m not sorry. But… I could’ve waited ‘til we got back to the room, probably.”

You bit back a grin. “You could have…but in the interest of honest communication, I’d like to admit that I maybe, sort of, really wanted you to lose your mind in the car.”

Noah’s eyes flicked open, less guarded now. “Oh yeah?”

“Yeah.”

He ducked his chin, hair hanging down as he considered that, then looked up through his lashes.

Your thumb slipped along his cheekbone, “I mean it, though,” you added. “You can do that as often as you want.”

Noah’s brows lifted slowly as his palm found your ankle, squeezing gently through your sock as he teased. “You trying to get me suspended for the rest of the season?”

He kissed you again, and you rested into it, letting the warmth fold over you. For a long while, neither of you moved, locked together in the heat of your own little world while the arena parking lot emptied and the night deepened. You wanted this moment to last forever, but you knew he would have to fly out again in a couple of days.

He broke the silence first, his fingers drawing slow trails over your calf. “You hungry?”

It was so abrupt you laughed, “Always.”

Noah grinned. “There’s a shawarma truck by the bus stop, if you want?”

“God, yes.” You groaned, the thought of food nearly sending you into a spiral.

He helped you climb off his lap, his hands gentle and a bit apologetic as he reached for your underwear, smoothing the hem of your jersey with care. Noah stared at the ruined elastic of your panties, a slow, wicked smile overtaking his face as he pocketed them without a word.

You pretended not to notice, right until you caught a flash of black lace sticking out from his sweats.

“That’s theft, you know,” you said, eyeing the waistband with the roll of your eyes.”

He shrugged. “Finders keepers. I need a lucky charm for the next game.” He grinned as he slipped his sneakers back on, crawling clumsily over the middle console and into the driver’s seat.

He fiddled with his phone as you dressed, swiping a thumb over the cracked screen and answering a text from Jolly with an overexaggerated smirk. You watched his reflection in the rearview while you fixed your hair, pulling the beanie back overtop while the sight of his jawline still made your chest squeeze in disbelief that he was yours.

“I’m never going to live this down, am I,” you said, climbing into the passenger’s side. “The whole team probably knew the second we left the locker room.”

Noah grinned as he started the engine, his left hand loose on the wheel, right hand stroking circles on your thigh with his thumb. “They’ll chirp me for like, a week…maybe two if Folio’s feeling brave,” he chuckled, reversing the car, “but then someone else will do something dumb and Matt will have something new to meme on the group chat.”

A soft laugh escaped you as the arena lights disappeared behind you.

The road ahead stretched empty and dark, broken only by the golden glow of the shawarma truck waiting by the deserted bus stop.

“Any regrets?” you asked.

Noah’s gaze danced to yours, the corner of his mouth lifting.

“Not a single one.”

His hand found yours across the center console, fingers threading together before he returned to the gearshift. The engine's steady purr filled the comfortable silence between you as streetlights washed over the dashboard in rhythmic patterns.

Noah’s voice broke through the quiet. “Sooo, my hotel has this really nice indoor pool that closes around 11.”

You turned slowly toward him. “Is that so?”

The lines of his smile deepened, “Just thinking,” he said, voice dropping to a private tone that always made your stomach flip, “about how empty that pool might be. Reminds me of that night the cleaner almost caught us… Maybe we should finish what we started.”

You couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled up. “Sebastian,” you warned.

And Noah only grinned wider.

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