ashleigh ୨ৎ

You Dude how did it go?? Sent 21:46 Everything alright? Sent 23:05 Call me when you get this Sent 23:29 Don’t tell me you’re already sleeping!! Sent 00:47 Bitch stop ignoring me :( Sent 00:49

It’s past one in the morning, yet you were still on edge, pacing around your dimly lit living room as you stared at the series of messages you sent to your best friend. 

Your anxiety was already through the roof tonight, and Noah ignoring you— when you repeatedly told him earlier to keep you posted— was not helping your nerves in any way. You could’ve sworn you already started to taste blood from chewing hard on your lower lip.

Noah Sebastian Davis was on a special dinner date with his girlfriend. He had promised to tell you how it would go, but to your dismay, not even one of your countless texts or calls was noticed by the guy you called your best friend since grade school. You had tried asking the rest of the boys if they had heard from him, but all of them were as lost as you, though Nicholas reminded you not to worry too much. 

On regular days, you would not be this insistent on hearing from the guy– he’s a grown man with his own life after all– but tonight was a special case. 

Noah and his girlfriend were celebrating their third anniversary. 

With your help as his bestest friend, the lovestruck rockstar had organized an intimate dinner for the ‘love of his life’ in his apartment. He had wanted their date to be simple yet very romantic, and when you had wiggled your brows to tease him, his straightforward answer had instantly faded the smile off your face, the words he uttered sending a direct blow right to your chest.

“I’m proposing.”

Two words that had made your stomach drop.

Two simple words that had instantly become so powerful when they rolled off his very own tongue that it made your world stop.

It was the one thing you had been dreading to hear ever since Noah got into a serious relationship. 

It was the only news you had never wanted him to break to you when he decided to focus his eyes on one girl.

Someone who was finally not you.

With your heart pounding and hands going cold, all you could do then was stare at him through the tears that had started to blur your sight. You had slowly blinked them back, faking a smile as your eyes trailed through his beaming face. And the world had gone in slow motion when you watched him pluck out the diamond ring from his pocket, the stupid little freckles showing against his flushed cheeks— the same cheeks that you had secretly been wishing to lovingly caress for over a decade now.

For so long, you had been trying to deny your feelings for your best friend, but one day your heart had had enough. Those little flutters you had been trying to suppress every damn time Noah Sebastian was near you had become so unbearable that you had finally allowed yourself to at least acknowledge their existence.

It had all started when he hit puberty– when he transformed into an attractive, lanky goof whose wolf-cut hair and playful eyes made girls on campus squeal like maniacs. It surely did not help that he and the guys had started a garage band, always present at weekend gigs where girls had freely fawned over them. You didn’t care for it at first; you only saw Noah as ‘one of the boys’. You had been so accustomed to his dorky face since you were seven, so you just did not get the fuss.

Not until one day, when all of a sudden his simple touches, which you had been so used to, started to make you feel unusually… weird. 

His noodle arm around your shoulder when the two of you would walk together; his hands squeezing your face and fingers pinching your cheeks when he’d tease you; knuckles playfully punching your arm every time he’d get excited— these had been all part of Noah’s normal friendly gestures but now the mere graze of his fingertips on your skin had started to make your cheeks blush and your stomach do somersaults. 

For the sake of your friendship, you had wanted to avoid this feeling so badly. But as an equally hormonal teenager back then, you had found yourself giving in, allowing the attraction to blossom as the two of you got older and navigated life together. 

All of this despite knowing that you would never have the guts to tell your lanky best friend about it, so you’d for sure end up hurting on the sidelines. And even if you mustered up the courage to do so, you knew your feelings would remain unrequited. 

You had always been his best friend– his ‘bro’, his confidante. Nothing more, nothing less.

From the tail end of high school and throughout college, you had witnessed Noah’s dating escapades in the front row. Several girls had come and gone; most of them did not last more than three months, and you actually thought he was not capable of settling down with one woman. 

That was until Alexis came into his life. 

Tall, blonde, athletic, outgoing, popular. From the moment you had laid your eyes on her, you knew she was the girl you would never be able to compete with. 

How could you, anyway, when you had seen how your best friend’s eyes sparkled every single time he looked at her? When he would smile and laugh differently every damn time he was around her? When he had always dropped everything for her, no matter the consequences?

How could you, really, when she already had his heart wrapped around those soft, well-manicured fingers right at the beginning?

‘It was love at first sight,’ Noah had animatedly narrated to you when Alexis accidentally stumbled into your giraffe best friend one day at the school gymnasium. As a natural flirt, he had shamelessly asked for her number and asked her out right then and there. Months after college graduation, they had made it official, and here they were, three years into their relationship, and Mr. Davis had gotten so helplessly in love that he had finally decided to tie his woman legally to him.

And as his best friend, you just hoped she also felt the same way for him— that she would make him genuinely happy, the way he deserved it… the way you had always wanted.

Noah🦒Davis  calling…

Your phone vibrating startled you, snapping you back to reality. A heavy sigh of relief escaped your mouth when your phone screen finally lit up with your best friend’s silly contact photo.

For a second, you snorted. It was that bathroom selfie of him pouting that he sent you five years ago, when he randomly texted you, ‘I’m pooping right now, wanna FaceTime?’ 

Yep, that’s how close you two were.

“Oh my god, Noah!” Picking up the call you had been waiting for all night, you greeted him with your exasperated ‘mom’ voice, as he would always call it. Worry started to lift off your chest; you were just glad your stupid best friend was still breathing, at least. “Dude, what the fuck happened to you!?”

With eyebrows still as furrowed as before, you waited for Noah to talk on the other end, but all you could hear were his heavy breaths and muffled giggles.

What was wrong with him?

“Hello? Noah Sebastian??” You raised your voice to tell him to quit playing around. 

Your best friend let out a faint breath of your name before giggling again. This time, much louder as if to purposely annoy you.

“Dude, I swear–”

“S-shit… ‘m so fuckin’ stupid.” Words slurred, he carried on with his annoying giggles, and that’s when you questioned his current state.

“Hey, are you drunk?”

“Noooo… I’m Noah, you dimwit!” He was now laughing obnoxiously, making you roll your eyes and rub your forehead at his confirmation. You had been waiting for him to break some important news to you for the last few hours, and all you got was this stupid drunk call.

Who would’ve thought you’d get this close to being awarded the Most Patient Best Friend of the Century?

“Noah Sebastian Davis!” 

“Yup, baby, that’s me!” He continued to laugh on the other line.

“Hey, asshole, where are you right now? Are you in your apartment?”

“Yup!” He giggled once again. “Wanna come over?”

“Why, are you alone?” You pried.

“Yup!” He obnoxiously repeated, seemingly enjoying the sound of the ‘P’ popping from his lips.

“Where’s Lexi?”

“Yup!”

“Noah, for fuck’s sake–”

“Yup!”

Heaving out a sigh, you realized there was no talking sense into him at this moment. “I’ll be there in 10. You better not move a muscle or I will kill you.”

“Yup!”

And then it was like a reflex. 

As soon as you dropped the call, you hurriedly grabbed your jacket and keys and drove to his place. It was almost two in the morning, and the weather hadn’t been nice since the day before, as if mirroring the somber state of your non-existent love life. You knew, one way or another, that unpleasant news was waiting for you at Noah’s. But being the devoted, doting best friend that you were, you chose not to care. 

Like you always did.

—

“Noah?” You quietly called for him as you pushed the door open to his apartment. The glow from the kitchen allowed you to scan your best friend’s dim living room. Aside from one pillow strewn on the carpeted floor, everything looked completely normal.

After carelessly throwing your jacket on the couch, you headed straight to the dining area, thinking your best friend would be there. But as you took a turn and squinted your eyes, the scenario that greeted you made you freeze in your spot. 

Your mouth went dry as you felt the heavy weight you had been carrying the whole day drop from your chest to the pit of your stomach. 

Eyes slowly blinking, you swallowed a lump in your throat, trying to convince yourself you were just dreaming.

Noah’s dining table looked exactly the same as when you set it up this afternoon, save for an empty bottle of wine and a missing glass. All of the plates were clean, and the food you had prepared remained intact, but now looked dry, cold, and untouched. The candles were unlit while the bouquet of red roses you ordered on your best friend’s behalf remained sitting on one of the chairs. 

And it was impossible to miss the black velvet ring box lying upside down beside the bowl of your homemade lobster ravioli.

You did your best to be emotionally prepared for Noah getting engaged tonight, but what appeared in front of you was a whole different thing. No amount of pep talks from Nicholas and emo music from Folio’s cheesy playlist could have readied you for this.

Did they get into a fight?

Did she reject his proposal? 

Did she stand him up?

Even thinking about any of the possible scenarios made your stomach churn. You were 100% ready to have your heart broken tonight, but you did not want it to be this way. Never this way. 

You had witnessed Noah’s struggles growing up. Back in the day, you had fought other kids on his behalf every time they called him ‘string bean’. When some hippies from high school had badmouthed their garage band, you were the one who had retaliated for them– for him.

And now that you’re all grown up, you certainly wished you could also protect him from the heartbreaks that came along with romantic relationships, the same way you would with his bullies back then. 

Unfortunately, there was only so much you could do when it came to matters involving his heart, especially when it had always been out of your reach from the very start.

“Noah?” Your voice croaked as you turned back to the dim hallway to search for him. “Noah, where are you?”

It only took you a couple of steps, though, before a pair of strong, familiar arms grabbed and lightly pushed you against the wall.

“Hey, are you okay?” You cooed, eyes softening at your best friend’s silhouette towering over you. While you couldn’t make out his face clearly, you could see that he’d changed into one of his muscle tees, his arm tattoos now on full display. “W-what happened–”

“What took you so long?” Noah grumbled, not letting you finish. Reeking of alcohol and weed, his hot breath hit your forehead as he slowly pressed his body against you, moving his large hands to your bare arms. You swallowed nervously at how the warmth of his palms rubbed against your cold, exposed skin. 

“Have you had dinner?” You inquired, hands gently squeezing his forearms.

“What took you so fucking long?” He repeated, this time the words rolled off his tongue through gritted teeth. 

Noah slowly caged your body against the wall as he crouched down to rest his forehead against yours– the gesture making your eyes go wide. His knitted eyebrows and bloodshot eyes were now visible.

“N-Noah, are you ok–”

“Why can’t you answer me, huh?” He sneered, cutting you off once again. “I fucking waited for five hours.” 

Your heartbeat had found an abnormal pace when his face inched closer and closer to yours, his hot breath fanning your cheek while one of his hands crawled down to grip your hip.

“I came here as fast as I could when you–”

“You couldn’t even…” He did not bother to hear you explain, letting out a heavy breath as he squeezed his eyes shut before his voice started to crack. “You couldn’t even fucking tell me.” 

Tell him what?

Now puzzled, you slightly pushed your drunk best friend’s shoulder away from you; your other hand went up to cup his cheek as you tried searching for his now glossy eyes.

“Hey, hey, you’re drunk. Let’s get you to bed, big guy,” you whispered as your thumb started stroking his cheekbone. 

“Goddammit, what the fuck took you so long!?” 

You flinched at his sudden snap, your reflex making you pull away from him despite the nonexistent space he put between you. 

This was a version of your best friend you hadn’t met before. You had seen Noah get angry and annoyed countless times, but never in your whole life did he ever raise his voice at you. 

Not even when you had accidentally broken the old acoustic guitar that his grandpa gave him when he was 13.

Noah was breathing heavily as you felt him squeeze your hip tighter than usual. His sudden outburst made your eyes well up, your lips starting to quiver like a little kid scolded by her parent. 

“Noah, I-I don’t understand…”

“Shh, baby,” he cut you off once more by placing his index finger against your lips, proceeding to brush some hair away from your face. 

You swallowed hard, blinking back tears. Your gaze followed his every move nervously as you noticed his demeanor shifting. His lazy eyes scanned your face while his hand gently cupped your cheek, inked fingers caressing your skin as if to say sorry for yelling. 

And it was as if his touch were hypnotic, because soon enough, you found your breath evening as you closed your eyes to savor the warmth his big palm afforded. A selfish part of you wanted to enjoy this moment with the love of your life, not giving a damn about his current drunken state and apparent mood swing. 

This was the guy you wanted your whole life after all– the guy you’d be willing to sell your soul to the devil if he asked you to. 

How others could easily take him for granted was beyond you.  

But the rational best friend in you knew this was wrong. 

You heaved out a sigh, eyelids fluttering as you met his gaze again. 

Your brain was telling you to push him away and talk some sense into him, but your thoughts were easily cut off by Noah tucking your hair behind your ear. With your eyes going wide, he dipped his head lower, making you gasp as his lips brushed lightly against the side of your mouth. 

You went stiff as you felt him pull you closer, one hand pressing against the small of your back, as he moved down to place feather-light kisses along your jaw. 

Now your face started burning, your legs turning to jelly as panic started creeping in. 

All your life, Noah had only kissed you on the head in nothing but a friendly manner. 

Why the fuck was he kissing your face like you were his long-time girlfriend? Like it was you whom he was proposing to tonight?

Then it finally dawned on you. 

He had always been an impulsive and forgetful drunk, and tonight was no exception. In his inebriated state, the chances of his mistaking you for someone else were high enough to alarm you.

It certainly did not help that you and his girlfriend had the same build, save for the small height difference.

“I’m so glad you’re here,” Noah whispered against the skin below your ear before nibbling on it. “Where have you been all night, hm?”

“Noah, I’m not–”

Your best friend shut you up once again, but this time by doing that one thing you thought you would never experience with him in this lifetime. 

Everything happened in slow motion as if you were in a fever dream.

You saw him pull his head back, smiling at you lazily before he dipped his head to close the gap between your lips.

Without a second thought.

Your breath hitched, heart thumping so fast you feared it might rip your chest open as you felt your best friend’s wet lips moving against yours. 

The same pair of lips you had been dreaming of kissing since you were 17.

As you remained frozen in place, the thoughts in your head started to go berserk, trying to make sense of the situation you found yourself in.

Noah Davis– that one guy who had been your constant since you learned to add and subtract; someone who unexpectedly became the only person whose heart you wanted to have your whole life– was now devouring your lips like it was a normal thing to do. All while you went stiffly pressed against his huge frame. 

His hand caressed your cheek, tilting your chin up when he slightly pulled away before diving right back into you open-mouthed, his chestnut fringe tickling your forehead and making your spine tingle. 

His soft tongue grazed your lips, and you found yourself slowly parting them as you welcomed the taste of alcohol and nicotine… of the kiss you had been wishing for god knows how long.

Your heart wanted to reciprocate so so badly— to have your hand gently caress his warm cheeks, to press your bodies together— but your brain was telling you otherwise. The logical side of you wanted to break away and perhaps slap some sense into your best friend’s head.

This was wrong. So wrong.

What about his girlfriend? 

He proposed… didn’t he?

With all your might, you pushed his chest off you, successfully pulling away from his hungry lips. Groaning from the interruption, Noah kept a tight hold on your hips, not letting go of you just yet.

Your heart was still pounding as you took in the look on his face. The dimly lit room did not stop you from noticing his clenched jaw, his scrunched brows, and the faint quiver of his plump bottom lip. 

“Noah? Let me go,” you breathed out, tapping lightly on his chest. “C’mon, you’re drunk. I am not Alexis.”

He let out a sharp breath as he again rested his forehead against yours. And as if to compensate for the contact that you just deprived him of, his swollen lips moved to reach your neck, eliciting a gasp from your lips. He started to nibble on the skin and place tiny kisses down to your exposed shoulder.

You shut your eyes tight, trying to fight off the warm sensation blooming in your stomach.

This was so fucking wrong.

“Noah…” 

He hummed in response, lightly blowing on the crook of your neck before shamelessly sucking on what he now knew was your sensitive spot. 

“I waited for so long,” he mumbled against your shoulder, both of his arms snaking around your torso to envelop you in a hug. “I thought you were not coming anymore, baby.”

“Noah, I’m not Alex–”

“Shh, baby, it’s okay,” he whispered before pecking the skin that he sucked and left a bruise on. “I’m not mad at you… I will never be mad at you.”

And as if expecting your next move, your best friend did not let you protest any longer as he pressed your bodies together and backed you completely against the wall. Hearing you gasp tugged a playful smirk on his lips, especially when he deliberately slotted his crotch onto your lower belly, making your face heat up with the apparent feeling of his clothed bulge resting on your stomach.

“Noah, w-what are you doing?” You stuttered, your voice breaking and breath quickening, no longer trying to conceal the fear creeping in. “You’re scaring me.”

You tried to search for his eyes, looking for any sign– anything– that would tell you he was just messing around. But his face remained buried in the crook of your neck, ignoring your obvious discomfort. One of his hands moved down to cup your ass, kneading your flesh before pushing your lower body more against his. 

“Please… Noah, you’re drunk.” Feeling your eyes starting to water, you prayed that a part of him could still listen to reason. 

Your hands curled around his shirt as he continued to mouth along your throat down to your collarbone, his arousal grinding against you.

“Noah… you… you do not want me…” You choked back a sob, whispering the words as if you did not want anyone to hear, including yourself. “I– I’m not Lexi...”

A stray tear escaped your eye, your voice now barely a whisper. “You love her… not me.”

And then you felt his movements stop. The sound of clothes rustling and skin touching halted in an instant. 

Noah’s forehead dropped onto your shoulder, and all you could hear was his heavy breathing and the thumping of your heart against your chest.

With your trembling hand, you cradled the back of his head, slowly weaving your fingers with the ends of his overgrown hair. 

“I’m so sorry,” you whimpered.

And just as you were about to push him off, Noah’s shoulders shook lightly. You heaved out a sigh as your hand gently rubbed his back.

“I…” he croaked against your skin. “I love you so much… why- why can’t you understand that?”

Your stomach dropped. 

Nothing could’ve prepared you for this. 

Who would’ve thought that it was still possible to have your already broken heart cut into tiny pieces in just one night?

“Do I… not mean something to you anymore? All those years… those promises we made… are they all for nothing?”

Biting your lip, you chose not to say anything and just let him cry in your arms, your own tears freely shedding with his.

“What does he have that I don’t?” 

Wincing, you muttered a curse. 

You had so many questions running through your head as to why your best friend got shitfaced drunk on what was supposed to be a special night.

Now things started making sense. 

“Just tell me what I can do to fix this… anything…” he hiccuped. “I’ll do anything. Give me a chance to fix us, baby.”

And then you felt his lips on you once again— on your shoulder, towards your collarbone, moving up to your jawline.

“Fuck… let me show you how much I love you…” Noah breathed out, placing a chaste kiss below your ear. His thumb wiped off the tear stains on your face before his lips peppered your cheeks with tiny kisses– each of them lingering as if asking, begging, you to just give him this night.

“Please, baby?” 

Your heart raced anew, your puffy eyes finally meeting your best friend’s lidded ones. 

You knew it was wrong. But what else could you do to ease his pain tonight? (A/N: stupid girl)

Swallowing hard, you scanned his face before sucking in a deep breath– before finding yourself surrendering to the man whom you had willingly let hold your heart in a vice grip.

It’s just a temporary fix, anyway. You had done it with others before; it shouldn’t be a big deal… right?

You had made so many bad decisions for the unrequited love you had for this guy. 

What’s one more?

Right?

Nodding, you slowly whispered, “O-okay.”

–

Sadly, sleeping with your hammered best friend was apparently way more than a bad decision.

Noah had started acting feral when you finally returned his kiss for the first time. All of his softness completely thrown out of the window, he had hungrily devoured you while skillfully moving you to the living room couch without breaking contact. 

Then things happened in a blur. 

You had let Noah undress you, almost ripping off your underwear, before laying you down on the soft cushion and prying your legs open. The next thing you knew, you were squealing as his lips wrapped around your sensitive flesh, tongue poking your entrance. 

And while you let your hand grab onto his hair, you were still afraid of feeling things beyond your activated libido. So you decided to look away, turning your face to stare into the empty television screen instead, as though you could still pretend this was all normal. 

After a few licks, Noah repositioned himself above you, forcibly turning your face towards him to connect your lips. And as your tongues met, you felt his bulbous tip press into your hole, his mouth swallowing your gasp.

“Did you miss me?” He whispered against your ear, his smirk evident in his voice. All while you whimpered at the burn of the unfamiliar stretch. 

Taking him inch by inch, you squeezed your eyes shut as you buried your face into his damp shirt.

He did not even bother taking his clothes off while he spread you completely naked underneath him.

“M’fuck…” he grunted, bottoming out with one hard thrust, forcing a cry from you. Noah chuckled against your neck as he slowly moved, not even giving you time to adjust. “I don’t remember you being this fuckin’ tight… Alexis.”

You couldn’t help but wince– both at the name he called you and the stinging sensation in your core. Noah being drunk did not prepare you much, and given his size, you knew from the beginning this would hurt.

And yeah, it truly did.

Tears that you barely noticed in your eyes started running down your face with each pull and slam of his hips. You chewed on your lower lip, whimpering with the way he moved his shaft along your tight walls.

“Did he ever fuck you like this, hm?” Picking up his pace, Noah grumbled as his mouth moved, tracing the column of your neck down to your exposed chest. He wrapped his lips around a nipple before sucking it and releasing it with a pop. “Is he even bigger than me? Huh?”

All you could do was gasp at the different sensations he was making you feel. While his cock was tearing you open, the way his mouth worked on your body was at least helping distract you from the pain you were feeling down there.

“N-Noah… ah—”

“Yeah, that’s right, baby. Moan my name.” He shifted to a kneeling position, bringing your hips up to meet his thrusts. “M’gonna fucking ruin you for that son of a bitch.”

Noah pounded into you as if his life depended on it, the sound of his grunts and your skin slapping creating a sinking feeling in your stomach. 

Chasing his own high, strings of curses left your best friend’s mouth amid his shameless moans and your quiet whimpers. 

Your hand descended towards your clit, trying to also reach your own peak, at the very least. But you had barely even touched yourself when Noah’s body tensed up, his stuttering hips slamming into you hard as you felt spurts of his warm come shoot inside you.

Panting, he slumped forward, his broad frame going limp on top of you as his cock throbbed inside your walls.

Not even a small amount of care for your own pleasure.

As he came down from his high, Noah did not bother pulling out. He instead wrapped his arms tightly around you, pulling your naked body impossibly close to his clothed one.

“Fuck… Lex, I love you,” he sobbed against your hair, still trying to catch his breath. “I love you so fucking much.”

The sound of your heart breaking hit you once more as he uttered the next words. 

Although you were no longer sure if it was still him that your heart was breaking for.

“I’ll do anything… Just please… don’t leave me.”

–

It was past three in the morning when Noah passed out on top of you on the living room couch. When you finally felt his even breathing and his soft snores, you carefully rolled him off you as you wiggled out of his grasp. Quietly sniffling, you hurriedly picked up your clothes and got dressed. But before heading for the front door, you hesitantly fixed his clothes and draped a throw blanket over his shoulders.

You paused for a second, letting out a sharp breath as you stared at your best friend— at his peaceful sleeping face adorned with little scars and freckles that you had always wanted to trace with your fingers your whole life.

A single tear escaped your eye as you felt your stomach drop anew.

How on earth could you get to this level of stupidity?

How could you throw away the littlest ounce of respect you had left for yourself just to please a guy whom you knew would never feel the same way?

And as you made your way home, you finally let the dam break wide open.

You had never felt so disgusting.

You curled up like an infant as soon as you got into your bed, sobs racking your body so hard as your mind could not stop replaying the things you let your drunk best friend do… the things you forced yourself to take for him despite the repercussions. 

At this point, all you wanted was to drift off and forget. 

But sleep did not come easily. It was as if the universe was punishing you and letting you drown in your miserable thoughts instead of allowing you to forget temporarily.

The hours dragged on and on with you staring at your ceiling, with tears trickling down your temple, with self-deprecating thoughts keeping your mind alive and awake despite your body surrendering to exhaustion. 

It was only when the sun started showing itself that your puffy eyes finally fluttered closed, tear ducts finally running out of supply, the cogs in your brain that have been guilting you finally slowing down.

Your reprieve, at last, however temporary.

But just a few hours after crying yourself to sleep, your phone started pinging in the quiet corner of your room…

Ruffilo Hey have you heard? Lexi dumped your boy yesterday Turns out she’s been seeing some guy from work for quite some time now Received 08:10 Did Noah still propose? Fuck this is messed up dude Did you know? Is he ok? Received 08:17 Talked to him just now He was so disoriented lmao Told me he needs you. Your boy needs some lovin 😏 Received 12:39

A series of notifications continued lighting up the screen, seemingly taunting you unknowingly while you remained curled up in your bed of self-pity.

Noah🦒Davis Yo Sorry i was fucking wasted last night i forgot to text you Can you come over? Received 12:47 Wait, why is your jacket here lol Did i call you last night? Haha wtf did i do now Received 13:01 Noah🦒Davis calling…  Call missed 13:05 Call missed 13:08 Call missed 13:15 Call missed 14:15 Noah🦒Davis Hey, you still sleeping? Call me back Received 14:16 Noah🦒Davis calling…  Call missed 15:31 Call missed 15:50 Call missed 16:45 Noah🦒Davis Yo sleeping beauty Received 16:48 Noah🦒Davis calling… Call missed 16:59 Noah🦒Davis Are you okay? Received 17:01 Seen 17:15 Noah🦒Davis calling… Call missed 19:15 Noah🦒Davis Are we okay? Received 19:23 Seen 19:31

###

It has been a long week. Lots of work and stress for you and your roommates. Everyone was kind of pissed off for no reason and was in a bad mood at all times. And since it was the begging of July, it meant that it was unbearable to stay outside without melting, making none of you wanting to leave your shared house. So on top of everything, you were bored out of your minds.

The person you were arguing with the most was your roommate Noah. At this point it felt like you were almost doing it for fun. But everyone around was so annoyed from the two of you to a point where they tried keeping you as far away from each other as possible.

You and Noah had a great relationship. You had a lot in common and were getting along really well. You were so close, you'd say he's one of your best friends. Which is probably why you were bickering so much – he was the only one you felt comfortable enough to do that with, knowing there won't be any consequences in the end.

The two of you had a similar sense of humor so you were joking around a lot, teasing eachother from time to time but it was never too much. Until now. And everyone but the two of you were getting sick of it.

So one of your roommates – Jolly, decided it would be a good idea to throw a small pool party. Invite a couple of friends, get some food and alcohol and have fun outside without dying from the heat thanks to the pool in your backyard, that you weren't using because you were all too lazy to clean it.

Hoping this would put an end to the constant fights, you all agreed to the idea and started planning.

You were all so excited to do something different, that wasn't work related, so you all worked together after inviting a few people.

And it really wasn't too difficult to organize the party. You and Jolly went to pick up some snacks and drinks. Noah being the neat freak he is, stayed at home to clean the house and the pool, and your other roommate - Jesse was helping him.

Before you knew it, everything was done, you just had to wait 2 more days, until the day of the party. In the meantime you and Noah continued to argue as normal, while Jesse and Jolly were so sick of it by now, they didn't even feel like breaking your fights anymore.

When the day of the party finally came, you set everything up and ordered some take out as people started showing up. You still haven't changed in your swimsuit so you had to run inside the house real quick and change.

Ever since you came out, now in your swimsuit, you could feel Noah's gaze fixated on you at all times. It didn't matter where you were or who you were talking to, you could feel his eyes on you, yet you chose to ignore it as best as you could.

You tried to avoid him. Spending time with other people, having fun, not talking to eachother in hopes that a little distance and a change in your daily routine would help improve both of your moods. Or so you thought.

Every group discussion you had, Noah found a way to make a joke about you, interrupt you or simply laugh at something you said when you were serious.

You couldn't just stand there and do nothing, letting him make you look stupid. So you did exactly the same things to him. Even changing topics while he was mid sentence. Going up to whoever he was talking to and asking them to come help you with something. Everything that came to mind you knew would frustrate Noah.

That earned the two of you a bunch of eye rolls, angry looks and each of you got a warning by Jolly to behave.

Everyone was having fun but you and Noah. You weren't sure if it was because everyone was drunk and only the two of you were sober or maybe all the teasing ruined everything.

Whatever it was, was irrelevant because at this point you lost all hopes that the party will fix your relationship with Noah. And by now everyone started ignoring the two of you and having fun instead, until they got too drunk.

The party started in the morning and you had hoped it would last all day but no. It was now some time in the afternoon and most people had either gone home or were laying inadequate somewhere in the house, leaving you alone outside.

You had nothing better to do anyway so you laid on one of the loungers to tan for a little bit. You finally felt peaceful for the first time that day so you closed your eyes. No one was around, especially Noah and it was finally quiet, what else could you possibly want.

That's when you felt a shadow, making you open your eyes to find Noah hoovering over you.

"Can you move? You're blocking the sun." You asked him but the tone of your voice clearly showed your annoyance.

He just stared at you for a long moment before he smirked and made his way into the pool without saying a word. It almost surprised you how easy it was to convince him but you closed your eyes anyway because you wanted to enjoy the rest of your day, away from him and whatever was happening between the two of you.

Just as you relaxed back into the lounger you felt a sudden cold sensation wash over your legs and it took you only a few seconds to realize it was water.

When you opened your eyes, you spotted Noah in the pool, looking at you with a cheeky grin on his face. Before you could even opened your mouth to argue with him, he dived into the water and swam away.

This was your time to relax and you wouldn't let him ruin it, so you decided to ignore him. All he wanted was a reaction from you anyway so you didn't want to give that to him and you just closed your eyes again.

He splashed water on you a few more times but much to his dismay he didn't get a reaction, not even a look from you until some of the water got on your face.

"I swear to God Noah, if you splash water on me one more time I'm gonna drown in that pool!" You yelled at him but he just laughed at you and splashed you again.

That did it. You got up and made your way into the pool, not too sure what exactly you were going to do now.

"What did I do to you now? Why do you have to act like an asshole at any given moment, even when there’s no reason to?" You yelled at him from the top step of the pool stairs.

"C'mere" He said with a low tone as he stood near you. You made your way down the steps and when you got close enough he placed his hands on your waist pulling you even closer.

You could now feel his breath on your face and had to look up in order to see his face properly. The closeness drained all the anger from you and made your cheeks blush instead, and Noah noticed that so he couldn't help the grin spreading across his face.

"Look," he started "we've been arguing too much, all the time, yet it's for nothing. Why don't we just fuck it out and get it over with."

Your breath caught and you knew he saw it. You tried to speak but when you opened your mouth nothing came out, not even a sound so you nodded yes instead.

"Yeah?" He asked almost completely closing the gap between the two of you and you felt his lips on yours.

"Yeah." You finally managed to answer and that's all he needed. He kissed you and it wasn't soft or slow, quite the opposite actually. It felt like he'd been wanting to do that for so long and now that he finally could, he didn't want to hold back.

One of his arms moved up from your waist and was now on your back as he was pulling you impossibly close to him, your palms braced against his chest.

Your body was now against his, barely letting go from eachother just to take a quick breath in between kisses, as he was maneuvering the both of you so you were now on top of him, as he sat down on the pool steps.

That's when you felt him against you and you couldn't resist rolling your hips trying to ease the feeling between your thighs, making Noah let go of your lips and suck in a sharp breath, which made it so difficult for you to resist staying still, so you rocked your hips against him again.

His hands moved down to hold you, guiding you better against him and you knew in that moment that he was just as desperate as you were. Your arms wrapped around his neck pulling him back into a heated kiss.

"Please, I need you." You barely managed to let out between kisses.

"I know baby." He whispered against your lips and you felt his hand sliding down and touching exactly where you needed him the most, and even through your bikini bottoms it felt so good you couldn't help but moan his name.

He didn't tease you for too long, instead he moved your bikini to the side and started rubbing your clit with the exact pressure you liked most, as if he'd done hundreds of times before. The feeling made you throw your head back and Noah instantly started sucking on your neck.

That would definitely leave a mark but you couldn't care less right now, especially since you felt one of his fingers slip inside you making your walls instantly clamp around it.

"Fuck you're so tight. We'll have to do something about that, if you want to take me later, you know." You didn't have to see his face to know he was grinning as he said that.

In any other case you'd be disgusted with what he was saying but in the moment it felt so hot. He knew exactly where and how to touch to make your brain turn into mush, so instead of telling him to shut up or something like that you just moaned as you felt a second finger slip inside.

"Shhh, you have to be quiet sweetheart." He whispered, slightly wrapping his hand around your neck so his fingers were on each side of your jaw and turned your head down, so you could look at him. "I know everyone's drunk but that doesn't mean they're also deaf, and we don't want them to hear and interrupt us, do we?"

He was so cocky when he spoke but it turned you on even more, so much so you couldn't even answer him so you just let out an 'uh huh' instead and tried to nod but his grip on you didn't allow it.

"Oh, you can't even answer me, huh? If that's the effect my fingers have on you, what's gonna happen if you tried to taking my cock?" His fingers didn't stop for a second and his tumb now started rubbing your clit.

This mixed with the filth coming out of his mouth made you almost let out a moan but you stopped yourself, remembering what he'd just told you about the people in the house. It honestly surprised you that you could even register what he was saying.

"Good girl, you're listening and doing exactly what I'm asking of you." He murmured against your neck as he lowered his head to leave a trail of kisses there. "Because of that you deserve to cum. Go on baby and cum on my fingers."

You were even more desperate at this point and he really knew what he was doing so this was all it took for you as he guided you through your orgasm, your head dropping down to his shoulder, when he finally loosened his grip on you and his now free hands settled on your waist.

"You want to continue? We don't have to if you don't want to." Noah asked after you've calmed down a bit.

"Yeah, I do." You answered without hesitation and he gently kissed your shoulder.

You put your hands on the edge of the pool on each side of his head and lifted yourself up enough for him to pull down his swim trunks, just enough to free his cock.

One of his hands stayed on your waist and his other hand helped lining him up with your entrance. Your hands were now on his shoulders for balance as he slowly helped you settle down on top him.

You both let out quiet moans once he was fully inside you and you felt so full, in a way you've never felt before. Now chest to chest, impossibly close, you couldn't hold back and kissed him while the both of you were trying to get used to the feeling of eachother.

"Take your time," he whispered "move whenever you're ready." The cocky smile was now replaced by a soft look you've only ever seen on his face when he was with you.

This made your heart squeeze a little, at the thought that maybe you two weren't just friends, and there was much more between you that you never thought about until now.

And maybe the tension between you wasn't from how hot it was outside or just sexual tension, but was caused by both of you denying your actual feelings for the other person.

You didn't want to think about that right now though, so you shook your head to get rid of the thoughts and decided you were ready to move.

You rocked your hips a little at first and although it wasn't much it felt so much better than anything you've felt before, so you did it again and again as you listened to the soft quiet sounds Noah was making.

You managed to find the right rhythm, the pace being faster now, it felt kind of weird as it was all happening under water but it didn't bother you too much, as he was too good at this. His mouth leaving even more marks on your neck, his fingers digging into your hips helping to guide you down on him.

"Fuck you feel so good baby, better than I imagined." He whispered against your ear. "If I knew you'd agree to this, I would've suggested it much sooner."

His words didn't quite register in your brain he could've been talking about whatever and you'd find it hot in the moment, including his cocky smirk that you normally hated, as it has returned on his face now, that he pulled back from your neck.

"Was this what you wanted all along sweetheart? Is that why you've been in a bad mood, teasing me all the time?" He started thrusting up into you, increasing the pace even more.

It took you a little while to realize what he was saying and you shook your head no but that only made his grin widen.

"Oh it's okay to admit it, I get it. Now we don't have to argue anymore though, we can just do that instead."

Oh he knew what he was doing to you.

You mumbled a quiet 'yes' as you started to feel the thight knot forming in your stomach again.

"Do you even know what you're agreeing to or did my cock completely turn your brain into mush?" You didn't even know how to answer that so you just nodded, not really knowing what you just agreed with.

Noah let out a soft but cruel laugh and shook his head.

"Yeah, you don't know what I'm saying but that's okay. Why don't you just cum for me now and we can talk about it later?" He asked, placing a quick kiss on your temple, as his hand slid down to rub your clit.

"Fuck, I can already feel you squeezing me." He groaned burying his face in your neck. By this point you were overwhelmed by everything that'd happened today but really happy with how the day was about to end.

Not long after that you felt your second orgasm that has been building up for a while now become too overwhelming, as it finally washed over you and you clenched around Noah with a quiet moan of his name escaping you, your whole body now shaking.

Pleasure washed over the both of you and before your own orgasm was over, you felt him spill inside you as he kissed your lips.

Your head dropped to his shoulder and you felt his hands tightening around you as he slowly creased your back.

Once the both of you have calmed down, you looked at eachother for a long moment before you spoke first.

"We have a lot to unpack don't we?"

"Yeah." He said softly, much calmer now and leaned to kiss you. Just as your lips touched you got interrupted by the now drunk Jolly yelling at you from the opened window on the second floor.

"I wish I hadn't seen what the two of you just did in our pool but I hope there'll be no more arguments." You and Noah looked at Jolly with terrified looks as he continued speaking. "I just wanted to let you know that – first, ew that was gross, second, I'm not gonna be the one cleaning the pool after this."

You weren’t really sure what reaction you were hoping for, or even what you were expecting. All you knew was that it wasn’t… this. 

You were expecting a reaction. 

You waited. One second. Two. Three. Nothing came. Not a word. Not a sound. No movement. 

The silence stretched out between you until it felt unbearable. Say something. Please. He didn’t. He just looked at you with his lips slightly parted. 

A faint ringing filled your ears. Your stomach dropped and you could feel panic bloom in your chest. 

“I know,” you blurted before he had the chance to find his voice. “I know we never planned this. I know the timing is awful and you’re on tour and that we’ve never actually talked about it and I know Nick shouldn’t have found out before you and—”

Your voice cracked. More tears streamed down your face. 

“I tried to tell you. All day. This is why I came here... I swear I tried.”

You lifted your own hands to cover your eyes. You couldn’t look at him. You even tried to push his hands away from your cheeks, but they were cemented to your face. 

”I just— I didn’t know how. Every time I tried I couldn’t do it. Or something happened,” you cried. ”I was— I am so scared. I’m so, so sorry. I’m so scared, Noah. I’m so scared I’ve ruined- that I’ve ruined everything.” 

And just like that, he moved. He gently pried your hands from your eyes. You couldn’t look at him. 

”I’m sorry,” you whispered again, barely audible. 

”Angel…”

His voice was scarcely more than a breath.

He slid one finger beneath your chin, tilting your face back towards him.

“Look at me.”

Reluctantly, you met his eyes. They weren’t angry. Not disappointed. Barely even confused. Just… soft. 

Before you could say another word, he closed the distance between you. Both of his hands cupping your face, his lips found yours. 

He kissed you as though he was trying to quiet every fear that had been living inside your head. It was silent ”I'm here”. A silent ”You’re not alone in this.” A silent ”We’re okay.”

One of your hands found his bare chest, palm pressing over his heart. The steady, rhythmic beat underneath your fingertips helped slowly bring your frantic pulse down. As the kiss broke apart, Noah rested his forehead against yours, his nose brushed softly against yours as the two of you tried to catch the same shaky breath.

“I’m sorry,” you whispered.

His brows knit together. 

“Sweetheart, why are you apologising?” 

“Because I—”

“No.” 

His hands found yours where it still rested over his heart. He put both hands over yours, pressing it against his chest. 

“I’m the one who should be sorry,” he began. “I’m sorry you thought that you had to carry this all by yourself.”

You looked up at him, the sincerity written all over his face making your breath hitch. 

“How long have you known?” 

“Ten days.” 

He let out a whistle of a breath. 

“But…” you closed your eyes. “I told Nick.” 

“... Nick knew?” 

You opened your eyes, giving him a small smile. 

“I panicked. I took that old test… Do you remember? The one from two years ago?” 

He nodded. 

“And it was positive. I thought that it might’ve been… expired?” 

“I think they do expire, yeah.” 

“So I bought another three. I even got one of those expensive digital ones.” 

Noah closed his eyes, an almost pained expression painting his features. Like the thought of you doing all of this by yourself physically wounded him. 

“And well… They were all positive. I’m so sorry, I should’ve… I just panicked. I needed to tell someone. I didn’t want to tell you over the phone.” 

You bit the inside of your cheek. 

“I don’t even remember calling him. I think I was on auto-pilot,” you said. “He wasn’t talking to his mom inside that storage closet. It was me. I had just told him.” 

Noah opened his eyes and let out a shaky laugh. 

“I can’t believe he’s managed to act so… normal…since,” Noah said. “But I’ve been wondering why the hell he was talking to his mom in there.” 

The corners of your mouth twitched and you let out the first real laugh since before you took the first test. And it was like you couldn’t stop. It flowed out of you, and Noah started laughing too. For the first time in ten days, the weight on your shoulders didn't feel quite so heavy.

As your laughter subsided, a silence filled the room. But this time, it didn’t feel suffocating. It felt calm. Safe. 

Noah broke the silence first. 

“I’m gonna be a dad.” 

You nodded. 

Noah shook his head slightly before letting out the smallest, disbelieving laugh. 

“...Wow.”

You could see his eyes welling up, the faint glow from the bedside lamp gleaming in them. He blinked rapidly as a single tear escaped, rolling down his cheek. 

The sight of his tears undid you completely, your own tears were not far behind. 

“No, no, no,” he sounded almost panicked. “Baby, no. Why are you crying?” 

“I’m just so happy.” 

And you were, you really were. Laying with your back against his chest in the dark moments later you couldn’t recall ever feeling so happy before. 

He pulled you even closer to him. Almost instinctively, his hand settled on your stomach. This time, though, it didn't stop there. His thumb traced slow, absentminded circles over the fabric of your shirt.

"...Wow," he whispered, pressing a kiss to the back of your head. 

You placed your own hand over his. 

“I know,” you whispered. 

Noah let out a quiet chuckle. 

“I didn’t think I could love you any more,” he stated. “I guess I was wrong.” 

You intertwined your fingers with his, brought them up to your lips and kissed his knuckles. 

”Are you scared?” Noah asked quietly. 

”Terrified.” 

”Me too.” 

There was a small silence. 

”I can’t believe I’ve missed ten days already,” he admitted. 

”I’m sor—”

”Please stop saying sorry, sweetheart.”

You turned around so you were facing him. The streetlight outside shone through a gap in the curtains, providing just enough light for you to make out his features. You lifted your hand, tracing your fingers over his jaw out of habit. 

“I do wish that you had been there,” you confessed. “It has been so hard lying to you.” 

He sighed. 

“I do too,” he said. “But I know now.” 

“You do.” 

“We’re going to be someone’s parents.” 

You smiled. 

“I hope they look like you,” you whispered. 

“Like me?” he huffed. “I hope they look like their mom.” 

Like their mom. You weren’t prepared for how that word would sound coming from his lips. It made your heart feel so full it almost ached. 

”Did you ever imagine this?” you asked.

He hummed. ”I did, yeah.” 

”You did?”

”Not quite like this, no,” he began. He was quiet for a second. ”But of course I imagined starting a family with you.” 

”Sometimes after shows I’d see dads carrying sleeping kids back to their cars, little legs hanging over their fathers arms” he continued. ”I always wondered what that would be like.”

”You did?”

”Yeah.”

”With me?”

”You goof,” he snorted. ”There has never been a version of my future that didn’t have you in it.”

---

Noah stood still for a moment before wrapping his arms around you, pulling you impossibly closer. You could feel his whole body relax as he melted into the embrace. He lifted a hand to cradle the back of your head, tucking your head under his chin. You simply stood there, your fingers clutching the fabric of his hoodie as he nuzzled his nose into your hair. 

“What are you doing here?” he asked, rubbing small circles on your back. 

And that was when the floodgates opened. Large, hot tears started to stream down your face and onto the fabric of his hoodie. Noah didn’t notice until he felt your shoulders starting to shake. He tried to lean backwards a little to look at your face, but you buried it deeper into his chest. 

“Woah - baby? Are you crying? What happened?” 

You just clung tighter to him. 

“Is everyone alright? Is your family okay?”

You hiccuped a little. “I just missed you.” 

“Oh sweetheart… You flew all the way here because you missed me?” 

You nodded. 

Noah carefully pried your hands from his where they were tangled in his hoodie. He took half a step back, taking your face in both of his hands. 

“Let me look at you.” 

You finally glanced up to meet his gaze. His eyes softened as they met your watery ones. 

“Oh my sweet angel…” He rubbed his thumbs over your cheeks, wiping your tears away. 

“C’mere,” he whispered as he pulled you back in. 

A few moments later you were sitting cross-legged on the end of Noah's bed while he unpacked your bag as though it was the most natural thing in the world. 

“How long are you staying?” 

“Until after the show, I think.”

“I feel like four hoodies is a bit excessive, no?” 

You frowned at him. “I packed three?” 

Noah shook his head and started to pull hoodies out of your bag. 

“One… Two… Three…” He pointed at the hoodie that he was wearing. “Four!” 

You snorted and threw the nearest pillow you could find at him. 

“Hey!” He threw the pillow back at you. “Here I am, being a nice boyfriend and unpacking for you and you assault me with a pillow?” 

“Dork,” you muttered under your breath. 

“Oh really?” Noah's eyes narrowed playfully.

You lifted an eyebrow. “What?”

A slow grin spread across his face.

“Oh, it's so on.”

Before you even had time to react, he lunged at you.

“Noah!”

You barely managed to squeal before he tackled you backwards onto the bed, the mattress bouncing beneath the two of you.

“You started this,” he said matter-of-factly.

“I did not!”

“You absolutely did.”

His fingers found your sides. He knew exactly where you were ticklish. You twisted beneath him, trying to squirm away, but every attempt only made him laugh harder. His fingertips danced over your ribs before slipping to your waist, drawing another helpless shriek from you.

“No- No! Noah!”

“You surrender yet?”

You tried pushing him away to no avail, he was so much stronger than you. You planted both hands against his chest and pushed with all your strength. He didn't budge.

“Never!”

“That was the wrong answer.”

He attacked again, relentless.

Laughter echoed through the hotel room as you twisted beneath him, trying desperately to grab his wrists. It was hopeless. You couldn't even catch your breath anymore. Tears stung the corners of your eyes, your stomach already beginning to ache from laughing so hard.

“Noah-” you wheezed between laughs. “Please! Mercy!”

“That's not surrender.”

“I hate you!”

He gasped dramatically.

“That hurts."

“I love you! Mercy! Mercy!”

His hands froze immediately.

A grin tugged at the corners of his mouth.

“Better.”

Only then he leaned in to steal a kiss before finally letting you breathe. You laid back, both hands clutching your stomach. You took a few deep breaths to stifle your giggles. You turned your head sideways to look at him only to discover that he was already looking at you. 

“I’m so happy you came. I’ve missed you so much,” he whispered.

You smiled. 

“So have I,” you said. And you meant it. You just wished those were the only words you needed to say. 

Noah suddenly jawned, his eyes drooping a little. 

“Tired?” 

He didn’t answer. Instead he simply pulled his phone out from his pocket, set an alarm and pulled you closer to him. Oh how you had missed the feeling of his tall frame surrounding you. You let out a content little sigh and leaned back into him. One of his large hands found its way to your stomach, fingers splaying over your soft skin under your shirt. You went perfectly still. Your heart stuttered. It was such a small gesture, something he usually did - but this time it carried a much heavier meaning. 

Noah fell asleep within minutes. You turned around in his arms so that you could look at him. For a while you simply observed him. How his hair had gotten long enough to fall down in front of his eyes when he slept. For a moment you wondered if he was planning to grow it out or not. You smiled to yourself, remembering the boy you fell in love with seven years ago. His hair had been longer than yours, his cheeks rounder than they were now. The man in front of you looked more chiseled in every way. But he still had the same smile, the skin around his eyes still crinkled in the same way when he laughed. And above all, he still made you feel the same way as he did back then. 

“You’re gonna be such a good dad,” you whispered, barely audible. 

You hadn’t even noticed that you were falling asleep. The familiar sound of Noah's alarm woke you. He reached out without opening his eyes, tapping the bed with his hand to find his phone. His eyes shot open when his hand landed on you. 

“Oh my god. I forgot you were here!” 

“Rude,” you mumbled. 

“I’m sorry sweetheart.” He reached for you, pulling you on top of him. He smiled up at you, tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear. His lips met yours in a tender kiss. Your heart swelled. You should tell him. Now.

You were just about to open your mouth, but Noah was faster. 

“Coffee?” 

Outside of the hotel you pulled your jacket a closer around you, shivering a little. 

“Cold?” 

“A little.” 

“Want my hoodie?” 

“Noah. You’re not even wearing a jacket.” 

He looked down at his own body. 

“Yeah. I know. But still.” 

You rolled your eyes at him. "Absolutely not. I’ll warm up as we walk.” 

Noah shrugged before reaching for your hand. Your fingers intertwined with his as you started walking. 

“Are you not supposed to be at work? I just realised,” he asked, glancing down at you. 

“I called in sick,” you shrugged. 

He stopped in his tracks. 

“Y/N.” 

“That’s me.” 

“You called in sick to work because you missed me?” he frowned. 

“...Yeah,” you answered hesitantly. Because that was not the whole truth, was it? You started walking again, pulling him with you. You didn’t want to give him the chance to study your expression for too long. 

“What if your boss finds out?” 

“You’re gonna tell her? Gonna snitch on me?” you joked, elbowing him slightly in the ribs. 

He let out a bark of a laugh. 

“Yeah, obviously. Gonna get you fired so you can come on tour with me instead.” 

You rolled your eyes. His tone of voice was sarcastic, but you knew that there was some truth to it. The band had gotten big enough that your income didn’t make that much difference, and Noah had suggested that you could always quit. He’d even suggested that the band could employ you in one way or the other. You thought that it was sweet in a way, that he wanted to spend every day with you, but you also thought that you’d lose your mind if you didn’t have anything of your own. 

The two of you crossed the street together. Once you reached the opposite sidewalk, you found yourself walking closest to the road. A second later, Noah casually guided you to the other side of him, taking your place nearest the traffic. 

“What?”

“You were on the traffic side.”

“So?”

“So now you're not.”

Five minutes later, the familiar green Starbucks sign came into view.

“You're buying,” Noah declared.

“I flew across the country to see you!”

“Exactly. You clearly have money.”

You just huffed and shoved him inside. Your nostrils filled with the scent of freshly brewed coffee and baked goods. You felt yourself almost sniff the air, which made Noah grin and shake his head at you. 

Noah went up to the counter. “Two large americanos please. And one of those cookies.” He pointed towards the cookie display. 

“Actually, could I get mine decaf?” you interjected. 

Noah looked at you, brows furrowed. 

“Decaf?” 

“Yeah… I- I’ve been cutting down on caffeine.” 

“Since when?” 

“Since recently.” 

“...Who are you?” 

You rolled your eyes. Noah turned back to the barista. 

“Okay, one normal and one decaf then, please.” 

Once outside Noah pulled the chocolate chip cookie out of the bag. He split it in two, one half clearly larger than the other. He handed you the larger piece without hesitation. 

The two of you wandered through the streets of Chicago with paper cups warming your hands. Noah filled the afternoon with stories from the tour. A guitar case that had almost been left behind at a gas station. Jolly accidentally walking onto the wrong side of the stage. Nick getting his sandwich stolen by Noah halfway through lunch and refusing to let it go for the rest of the day, five days in a row. 

"Apparently, I have a new nickname.” 

”Oh?”

”They call me the seagull.” 

”…Why?” 

”Nick claims I’ve stolen his food.”

”Noah, you just admitted to me that you have been stealing his food.” 

He shrugged. ”Well… I mean, yeah I have… but I feel like that’s beside the point!”

You laughed until your cheeks hurt.

For a little while, it almost felt like life had paused. There was no countdown. No secret weighing heavily in your chest. It was just you, Noah, and the city stretching out around you. Every now and then he’d bump his shoulder against you, smiling to himself as if though he couldn’t believe you were actually there. 

You couldn't remember the last time you'd seen him this relaxed.

He stopped suddenly, pointing at a large building in front of you. 

“That’s the one,” he chirped. 

It looked massive. 

“That's the arena?!” 

He tilted his head sideways, looking down at you. 

“Yeah. Today it’s empty… On Saturday, hopefully not.” 

“Noah, it’s sold out. It’s not gonna be empty,” you stated. 

He shrugged. 

“How many tickets sold?” you asked. 

A shy smile spread across his face. 

“Ten thousand.” 

“Woah.” 

You looked up at him, watching him taking it in. In your mind, he was still the guy playing in front of a few hundred people. He put one arm around your shoulder, tucking you into his side. 

“Crazy, isn’t it? That they’re all coming to see us?”

“I’m so proud of you.” 

“Even after all these years?” 

“Especially after all these years.” 

You stood there for a few seconds. This was as good of a time as any. You closed your eyes for a split second. 

You opened your mouth to speak but stopped as you noticed a group of girls a few feet away. They looked at the pair of you hesitantly. One of them whispered something to another. You could recognise that look from miles away. You gave them an encouraging smile. 

One of them took a cautious step forward.  

“Hi... I'm so sorry to bother you.”

Noah smiled immediately.

“You're not bothering me.”

“We just... we were wondering if it'd be okay to get a quick picture?”

“Of course.”

He glanced at you apologetically before stepping over to them.

You couldn't help but smile as you watched him chat with them for a minute, thanking them for coming to the shows before posing for a couple of photos. He never seemed in a rush. Even after they'd thanked him about six times, he was still the one wishing them a good day as they walked away.

He reached for your hand as the group of girls went the other way, giggling amongst themselves. Walking side by side you looked up at him. 

“Noah, there’s something I…” 

Noah’s stomach let out an unmistakable growl. 

“...Was that?” 

“Yeah. I'm starving." 

“You just had half a cookie.” 

“I should've gotten two.”

You threw your head back, laughing. If there was something Noah could do it was definitely eat. It seemed like he was always hungry. But to be fair, he was a very large man. 

“We’ll have dinner in a few hours, yeah?” 

“Oh yeah!” Noah started, “I forgot to tell you! We were planning on a big band and crew dinner tonight. But since you’re here I could-” 

“No, no. That sounds great actually. I’ve missed the guys too.”

“More than me?” 

"Definitely," you grinned. That earned you a light shove in the shoulders. 

“Is there like a mall or something nearby? I didn’t bring big dinner-clothes.” 

Now it was Noah's turn to roll his eyes. “Baby, you’d look amazing in a garbage bag.” 

Two hours later you found yourself standing in front of the bathroom mirror, smoothing your hands over your new dress for what had to be the seventh time. You knew that this night was the night you had to tell him. You wanted it to be perfect. 

The door opened behind you. 

”Ready?”

You turned around.

Noah had already changed into a black button-up, sleeves rolled to his forearms. His hair was still slightly messy from the afternoon nap he’d taken as you’d gotten ready.

He looked you up and down.

”Wow…” he said, closing the distance between you. 

Noah’s hand brushed against your side and came to a halt on your hip, the other settled in the small of your back. He pulled you into him, looking down at you with a certain glint in his eyes. 

”We’re gonna be late,” he stated. 

”No we’re not,” you replied. He looked slightly disappointed. 

The restaurant buzzed with the familiar hum of conversations and clinking cutlery. Warm pendant lights hung low from the ceiling, casting a soft amber glow over dark wooden tables. The smell of grilled food, garlic and fresh bread filled the air as waiters weaved effortlessly between the crowded tables.

A long table had been pushed together near the back of the restaurant.The rest of the band and a few crew members were already there. Jolly spotted you first. 

”Y/N!!!” he called, standing up from his seat. ”I heard you were in town!” 

He pulled you into a bone crushing hug. 

”Well,” you said trying to catch your breath, ”I just missed you too much Jolly.”

”Ahh, very understandable. Who wouldn't?"

You felt a hand on your shoulder. Bryan gave you a squeeze. ”I’m so happy you’re here,” he said. ”This one,” he pointed at Noah, ”has been a mess since last week.” 

”Oh shut up,” Noah groaned. 

You sat down between Jolly and Noah. Nick was on the opposite side of the table, observing you. He could see the way you stiffened when a waiter came to take everyone’s orders. Noah leaned into you, asking if you wanted a glass of wine. You declined, blaming a headache. Noah just nodded and ordered you a soda without paying it too much attention, but not without adding that you should drink some water too. Nick however noticed the way your eyes darted from Noah, to the candle on the table, to the untouched glass of water in front of you.

After the food was ordered the conversation bounced effortlessly around the table.

Jolly was in the middle of telling some ridiculous story about getting lost backstage in Germany on the last European tour.

“…I’m telling you, it wasn’t our stage.”

“It literally had our backdrop on it,” Folio deadpanned.

“No, that was afterwards.”

“It was before.”

“It was… somewhere in the middle.”

Laughter erupted around the table.

You barely managed to follow the conversation before it had already moved on to something else.

”So…” you said, taking a sip of your soda. ”I’ve heard that my boyfriend has earned a new nickname.” 

”Oh he’s been awful!” Jolly exclaimed. 

”New levels of shit housery, even for him,” added Davis. 

”Hey!” Noah cut in. 

”At lunch today he stole half my sandwich,” said Nick.

“The day before that, my fries,” Folio chimed in.

“This morning he took a bite of my bagel while maintaining eye contact,” Nick added. 

Noah shrugged. 

”You make it sound like I’m the problem.” 

Nick raised an eyebrow. ”You ARE the problem, man.” 

Noah shook his head, unable to hide the smile tugging at the corners of his mouth.

As if on cue, a waiter appeared with a tray full of steaming plates, setting them down one by one in front of everyone.

Noah shot Nick's fries a look. 

”…Don’t.”

”Wasn’t gonna.” 

Nick gave Noah an unimpressed look, moving his plate closer to himself. 

You couldn’t help but giggle. 

”Does he actually do this a lot?” 

”YES!” Everyone answered as one. 

Noah turned towards you, gave an exaggerated shrug and grinned at you like a little kid who’d just gotten away with something.

As dinner went on, the conversations around the table naturally splintered into smaller ones. Jolly was still defending his German mishap, while Bryan and a few other crew members debated the best burger they’ve had on tour. 

Beside you, Noah had absentmindedly rested his hand on your thigh. Every now and then he traced small circles with his thumb through the fabric of your dress, as if to remind himself that you were really there. 

Across the table, Nick watched this friend for a moment. Noah looked relaxed, happy. Noah was deep in conversation with the others, laughing at something Folio had said. Yet somehow, he never stopped facing you. His body remained angled towards yours. He looked completely at ease. Not like someone that had just been told something that would change the rest of his life. Nick focused his attention on you. You were smiling too, but the smile didn't quite reach your eyes. He also noticed that you were mostly moving food around your plate. 

Nick caught your eye, tilting his head slightly and raising an eyebrow. Well? You looked down at your plate, giving him the smallest shake of your head. He closed his eyes for a brief second before exhaling quietly through his nose.

When dinner had drawn to a close, Noah told you that he just needed to use the bathroom. Nick seized the opportunity, putting his arm around your shoulders. 

”Walk with me for a second, darling.” 

He guided you out of the restaurant, stopping a few feet from the entrance. For a moment, the two of you just stood there. He searched your face, you looked at everything but at him. 

”You didn’t tell him.” 

You shook your head, biting the inside of your cheek. 

”…What happened?”

Closing your eyes for a second, you exhaled deeply. 

”I just… I couldn’t do it.” You scuffed the toe of your shoe against the pavement. ”I tried. But every time I was about to tell him, something happened. Something interrupted.”

Nick placed both hands on your shoulders, giving them a light squeeze. 

”You’re looking for the perfect moment, Y/N.” 

You nodded.

”There isn’t one.” 

There was a moment of silence before Nick spoke again. 

”You’re not protecting him. You’re protecting yourself.” 

You lifted your gaze to hesitantly meet his. His expression was gentle, but there was an unmistakable determination behind it. He wasn’t judging you. He was trying to help you. You knew he was right.

”And I get it. I’d be terrified too.” Another squeeze around your shoulders. ”But he deserves to know.” 

You tilted your head back, blinking rapidly in an attempt to keep your tears from falling. 

”Look at him,” Nick continued. 

You glanced through the window. Noah had just returned from the restroom and was joking around with the others, Ricky caught in a loose headlock while everyone laughed. Somehow, even in the middle of it all, his gaze instinctively wandered until it found you. The second he found you, his grin widened. 

”He’ll be okay.” 

”How do you know?” 

You looked through the window once more, Noah caught your eye again. He tilted his head slightly, silently asking if everything was okay. You forced a smile. 

”Because it’s him. It’s Noah.”

You moved your head in the slightest nod. Nick once again put his arm around your shoulders. 

”Come on, mom. Let’s go.” 

”I’ve told you to stop calling me that!”

The hotel room felt unusually quiet after the evening at the restaurant. You could hear your own heartbeat pounding in your ears. The sound felt intrusive, unwelcome. 

”I can’t believe Nick is still mad about the sandwiches,” Noah said, toothbrush in one hand. 

”I mean,” he continued, ”we’re supposed to be brothers!” 

Silence. 

”Y/N? Angel?” 

”Hm?” you busied yourself with paying even more attention to the makeup remover in your hand. 

”You okay?”

”Yeah.” You weren’t. 

He leaned against the sink, arms crossed over his chest. 

”You’re doing that thing.”

”What thing?” 

”Where you say you’re okay even though you’re obviously not.” 

”Oh.” You rubbed your eyes more intensely with the wipe. ”I’m just tired honey. Promise.” 

He looked at you for a moment. 

”Alright,” he said. ”I just… you know you can talk to me, right?” 

”Mhm.” 

Noah studied you for another moment before giving in with a quiet nod, not pushing any further.

No matter how tightly you closed your eyes, sleep refused to come. You needed to tell him. You cursed yourself for not getting to it. For having climbed into bed and curled up next to him without telling him.

”Alright,” came Noah’s voice beside you. 

He sat up, reaching for the light on his bedstand. You heard a quiet click before the room illuminated with an amber glow. 

”I give up,” he said. ”I can practically hear your brain frying. Whatever’s going on in there must be very loud.” 

Slowly, you lifted your gaze to meet his. For a heartbeat, you simply looked at him. Really looked at him.

His brows knit together ever so slightly. There was something in your expression he’d never seen before. You looked frozen. His stomach tightened. You looked terrified. Not anxious, not upset. Terrified.

Like a deer caught in headlights.

“Angel…?”

Your lips parted, but no words came. Your eyes filled so quickly with tears that it almost startled him.

Then, all at once, you broke.

A sob tore through your chest as you threw yourself into his arms so hard it knocked the breath out of his lungs. He closed his arms around you, pulling you into his lap. 

Your whole body trembled with violent sobs. You cried like he’d never seen you cry before. Noah felt so helpless. All he knew to do was hold you closer, rubbing your back and rocking you gently back and forth. He didn’t shush you, didn’t ask any questions. He just held you, continuously swaying and pressing kisses to your hair. 

After a while, your sobs gradually became quieter, giving way to shaky breathing and the occasional hiccup. Your body stopped shaking so violently. And still, Noah just held you. 

”Angel…” 

”Look at me.” 

You shook your head. His hold of you loosened, his arms snaking between you. He cupped your face with both hands, forcing you to glance up at him. He searched your face, his own stricken by the sight of you. You’d never seen him look so helpless. Not because you were crying, but because he couldn’t reach you. Because whatever was hurting you, you were carrying it alone. Because you would not let him in. 

“It’s me,” he whispered.

Those two words, paired with the look in his eyes, broke through something inside you. You took a shaky breath and closed your eyes for just a second. When you opened them again, you met his gaze.

For the first time all evening, you didn’t look away.

”Noah… I’m pregnant.”

---

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