hello hi omg

Remember when Charlie Kirk was murdered in broad daylight in front of hundreds of people…….that was so fucking awesome

getting diagnosed with alcoholism because of the scratch marks around my robot girlfriend's usb pussy

fellatio sounds like a supporting shakespeare character rather than oral sex on a penis to be honest

goodbye $200 helloooo 3 groceries

There’s someone who has their iPhone named “hot single horses in your area” and they airdrop people pictures of horses randomly. Nobody knows who it is. Once, during an assembly, the laptop that the projector was from had airdrop turned on, and in the middle of a presentation about bullying, it popped up in front of the entire school. HOT SINGLE HORSES IN YOUR AREA WANTS TO SHARE AN IMAGE. A picture of a horse, with text in bubble letters over it saying “available”

probably a good thing this wasn’t at the school I used to teach at where the principal was arrested for embezzling school funds to buy horses

A standard porno with the bad acting and music and whatnot but partway through the action the camera pans to a millipede and hunting spider locked in a duel for survival, the sounds of sex fade out and the scene in the background blurs, epic battle music starts to play

Im glad they made up romance for stories and music but can you imagine how scary it would be to deal with all that for real

I think we as people who have periods should be able to expel it rapidly all at once like peeing. There's a whole untapped potential out there. I'd let it all go in the back of a police cruiser

I think the british really popped off with "bloody" as an expletive but unfortunately I can't say it out loud in real life or I sound like a teeaboo from 2012