confusedpimp

had a friend who used to make new ones up on the spot. The only one that stuck with me was 'good golly jelly beans'. If something catastrophic happens I go for 'that's not ideal.'

not fully related but thats also y when i see yall on here like “awww i wish we had purple people or people with horns or people with neon green eyes….💔” im like. yall cant even handle black people…yall cant even handle caring about people like 5 shades darker than you….u want the world to be ‘whimsical’ or whatever yet ur completely fine with white supremacy 😭 evil ass individuals u cant handle a cyclops or a fairy u cant even handle hip hop!!!!

eva stratt you are the most interesting character in all of fiction ever eva stratt they could never make me hate you

Green heron (Butorides virescens)

Ozempic scares the shit out of me. You're telling me there's a drug that takes away both the craving side of hunger and targets the brain's rewards center for eating. You're telling me it takes the joy out of eating and it turns you into a skeleton. Why did we turn The Curse of the Black Pearl into a drug. What the fuck.

I told my little nephew that I'd wave at his airplane when it flew over my house today, and he very calmly and politely explained that it wouldn't be possible to see me due to the limitations of human vision. I said he just had to squint real hard, and he took a deep breath and went into the toddler version of "see, what you're not understanding–"

it is actually haunting me that I forgot to wave. if he looked out the airplane window, he wouldn’t have seen me…..