ʕ•ᴥ•ʔ

When you relapse during recovery, it's like walking for an hour and then falling on your face. You're hurt and you're on the ground, but all the kilometers you walked are still behind you. You're not back where you started. And you can get back up and walk even further

A reminder to myself

Remember that you must allow people to love you, to be kind to you, to help you. Not everyone is going to be toxic for you, some people just genuinely want to be a part of your life, but you to feel all this love coming your way, you have to believe you deserve it. Let people love you. Let them look out for you, care for you, don't push them away. Let them stay.

This is so hard for me since I constantly feel like I deserve nothing 😶

A part of being an adult is living with regret and not allowing it to consume you. The older you get, the more mistakes you’ve made, opportunities you’ve missed, people you’ve disappointed. And every day you have to remind yourself to be kind and forgiving of yourself. You accept and love the you from the past and understand that it’s all a part of the process. Then you move on and live your best life, knowing now as old as you feel today, you’ll never be this young again.

once you stop fantasizing about that ideal version of yourself and start working towards becoming that person by setting your alarm clock earlier and actually going to the gym and actually volunteering at places and actually eating healthier and not procrastinating and working just a little bit harder you’ll realize that it was so easy all along. becoming your ideal self will only ever exist in your mind until you make the decision to work towards becoming that person. get up!! get going!! it’s now or never!! there is no light at the end of the tunnel!! get that flashlight and pave your own path bitch bc no one else is going to do it for u!!

I’m not afraid of being friendzoned, I’m afraid of being acquaintancezoned. I’m afraid that the nice way friends regard me is just how they generally treat anyone they just met by default and that it doesn’t necessarily mean they like me.

Me in a nutshell

I think the fast paced society we live in currently has brainwashed me into thinking i can upgrade myself and my life just as fast as when i restart my computer or phone. I have forgotten the natural cycles of life… how the moon takes her time to be full or how the crops take their time to grow their fruits. 

some of y'all didnt grow up as the person nobody has a crush on and it really shows

some of yall never have to deal with the constant doubt in your own ability to be loved to the point where you get second hand embarrassment at the idea of someone being in love with you and finding you attractive because you’ve been diagnosed with ugly and cringy your whole life and it really shows

some of yall never had to deal with seeing bullies come up to you to say “(Name) wanna ask you out” as a joke to humiliate their friend because nothing was as embarrassing and disgusting than imagining going out with you and it really shows

Some of yall never ended up as emotionally destroyed by this that you ended up rejecting not only the idea of others potentially falling for you but also your only ability to be in love with someone and now you feel like you will never feel loved and feel love and you are confused because you don’t know if you might just not be able to fall in love or whether you just developped this protective numbness to protect yourself from Inevitable rejection and because you have severe trust issues and it really shows

: )