and the universe said i love you because you are love

sorry i never replied. everyday is blending together and im losing sense of time

whines pitifully . flops on the ground . bursts into flames

A girl can be a handsome fella. This is obvious

please dont vape your blueberry ice flavor around my kid. we are raising him on marlboro reds exclusively.

i'm your only friend (realizes that's statistically unlikely) i'm not your only friend (considers my positive qualities) but i'm a little glowing friend (suddenly gets cold feet) but really i'm not actually your friend (remembers to be confident in relationships) but i am

coming up with sexual roleplay scenarios about growing up Upper-Middle Class

Hey, it looks like your parents aren't home because they're still at their Well-Paid White Collar Jobs...why not stop playing with that New Videogame Console and come have some real fun with me in your Bedroom You Don't Share With Any Siblings ;)

i hate it when i can tell my perception of a character is diminishing in real time because of fandom wank. like nooooo i want to maintain an objective relationship with the text but everyone is so annoying about you nooooo

it will take 5 days before I am allowed to have any funds from GiveSendGo and I need to be able to pay for groceries, can anyone help me do that today? I only need about $40 to be able to get groceries until I can get paid back for the therapy appointment I had

People are unfazed if you hate women but if you dislike dogs they assume you're a bad person

i am a SUCKER for characters who start out as copies of other characters but eventually become their own people, their own identities, completely different from who they once reflected

The Clarifier would like to make just one more comment

I have one of these and I keep it in my IT toolkit because that teeny little screwdriver is the right side for laptop casings, but because it lives inside a large object it’s harder to misplace than a standard tiny screwdriver. Also because the look on a client’s face when you bring out a brass hammer to fix their laptop is absolutely wild.