29/04/2026

if i look back, i am lost

blake kathryn
art blog(derogatory)
Misplaced Lens Cap

oozey mess
Jules of Nature
I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
🪼

pixel skylines
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"

roma★
One Nice Bug Per Day
Sade Olutola

shark vs the universe
occasionally subtle

PR's Tumblrdome
h
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
seen from Chile

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seen from United Kingdom
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@colorboundcentral
29/04/2026

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my mom taught me the therapeutic power of cleaning. open all the windows. throw out the old. wipe down the entire house. burn some incense. roast some coffee. then rest. that way the tears from last night don’t feel as heavy.
She just wanted you to clean the house
No it’s actually been studied and proven that for people with anxiety and depression that it’s really good for us it gives us a sense of control, setting, and being well grounded. It allows to make a new place out of the old and is really relaxing
It is such a catch-22, that cleaning when you are depressed (and likely less able to gather the executive functioning to do so) also alleviates it. After having a good clean, I always feel more in control and less stressed. It’s the getting started that is the hardest part. The good news is, even a tiny bit of cleaning has a positive effect, so start with what you can manage.
Even if you just clean up the immediate area around you, even if you clean a little at a time or spaced out over days, you’ll feel lighter.
This!!
Even if all you can do is put three dishes in the dishwasher, or move the dirty laundry pile to outside the laundry door, or throw out that box of leftovers that have been sitting in the fridge for 2 weeks
it counts.
My therapy professor always gets his patients to just wipe the bathroom mirror when they’re feeling that way. Just the mirror, nothing more. But then by the time his patients are done with the mirror, most of them report “well, I was already in the bathroom, so I did the sink and tub too.” And before they know it, they’ve cleaned an entire bathroom.
My therapist once told me that, every day, I should try and do at least one thing that I either enjoyed, or gave me a sense of mastery. And honestly, the enjoyment thing can kind of seem overrated, especially when you feel like crap, but the mastery thing? Doing laundry or taking out the trash or whatever else I can bring myself to accomplish?
Holy shit, man… it’s /good/
This stuff saved my ass back when I had depression. Vacuuming the room, spraying some febreze shit and wiping some countertops works wonders.
tiny baby steps are helpful
do what you can, forgive yourself for what you can’t, and challenge yourself to do better tomorrow (and it’s okay to fail at this; just try again the next tomorrow)
bugs

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You’re just not ready. At no point in this video when he says the next thing are you ready.
the prototype is actually a massive boyfailure who does not have as much control as they've led us to believe
-despite his efforts to keep all the toys in the factory, gentle john and all the joyless managed to escape, and he's like "oh shit" and covers it up with a fake story in his little newspaper
-genuine fear isn't the only method he's used to keep his people in line but also making up random shit, like stories about the toys in safe haven eating each other to make them be like "ew"
-instead of boarding up the door to poppy's room or something to keep people out, he just painted cryptic warning signs on the wall which the player later ignores and waltzes in anyway
-his plan to make poppy see things his way by locking her in the case COMPLETELY backfired on him, and instead she emerged from the case as a homicidal little menace trying to blow everything up
-accidentally crushing the living hell out of his sister's face
-he gets the player to finally take down the doctor, thank god that tool is gone and there's no one left strong enough to oppose hi- oh shit he's back
locking poppy in the case like that was fucked up, but the fact that oliver also left the music box playing and little room light spinning as well as painting the flower on the door afterwards... truly familial-yandere level bullying right there
Do you think Elliot Ludwig actually loved and/or cared about Harley or Ollie at all.
I think Elliot loved the idea of loving them.
Believe it or not, Elliot does have a conscience. It doesn't excuse him. Lots of shady individuals have consciences they are just experts at suppressing or shoving away. Elliot happens to be one of those people with consciences they are good at "negotiating" with.
I'll cover both Harley and Oliver in two separate sections: Harley:
He admits that his attracting Harley into his "human experimentation" pipeline is selfish. And then continues with it.
And look at how he handled Harley's rejection: he didn't talk to him in person. He sent him a letter. Harley was right there and available to be spoken to in person. He sent a letter that was 50% rationalization of what he was going to do to Harley, after he directly wrote that without kindness Harley's mind would twist, and after intuiting Harley wasn't getting that kindness wherever he came from.
He sent that letter and half of it seems almost like a rationalization to himself rather then to Harley:
"In thinking about those days, I'm reminded that rejection can sometimes be the best thing for us. " " Ultimately, I believe it made me a better person, and I have to believe that doing this now will make you better too."
Ollie really was copying Elliot. Elliot tried to "make people better" too.
But anyways The way Elliot talks in this letter makes it perfectly clear he knows he's dropping a bomb on Harley's psyche and for whatever reason is talking himself into it and praying it doesn't go sideways (it did, infact, go sideways)
It's funny. With everyone else in his life Elliot locked down and never let go. For the orphans in Playcare: For Poppy, obviously.
Harley? The one example of a kid Elliot pushed away.
Oliver: I think Oliver was right when he spoke to Elliot in "Elliot and The Prototype" tape. That being said, I can tell Elliot feels some nagging, haunting sense of guilt: You can tell by how nervous he sounds at the beginning of the tape, when he asks if Oliver said something.
Whatever guilt, whatever care he had for these two boys, though, it wasn't enough. Wasn't enough to stop them from using them both to get Poppy back.
I also felt so disgusted, watching the first tape blind, when, just after Oliver poured his heart out to Elliot about feeling like Elliot can't stop talking about Poppy, that he feels like he's just a "test run" now, Elliot performs sympathy for five seconds before saying: "I think you and her would get along really well." ELLIOT. YOU ARE. TALKING ABOUT POPPY. Right at the one point when Oliver needed you to NOT.
He kept Oliver trapped under there, and since Elliot never introduced Poppy to Oliver (as she has no idea who Oliver really is or what his relation to her is) that means that Elliot never fulfilled that promise.
Did Elliot care about or feel bad for those boys? Oh I think he knew it was right to love and care for those vulnerable souls. The idea of shepherding them, guiding them, must have been appealing for someone who is sensitive to his public image as Elliot Ludwig.
But, did he really care? Well, I will say this: Whatever care, whatever guilt he felt, wasn't enough.
The Monsters We Make, indeed. For both of them. (One of Chapter 5's OSTs is The Monsters We Make)

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Sharp-eyed, quick on her feet, and impossible to intimidate, Mira carves her own path through the neon chaos of Seoul.
Still working on the girls but here is Mira’s design for now (still may add and or remove stuff since I feel like something is missing)
Every piece of chrome she wears is a reminder that she survived a world determined to break her.
source
name badge! done with acrylic markers
there is no greater joy on this earth than Making Lists, Categorizing, & Sorting
oh do I have the game for you
I could . not. put. this down for 48 hours - stayed up too late, had weird dreams about it, woke up early, and played it while I was supposed to be doing other things. the last several dozen items took a lot of googling, which I do not even begrudge it.
and then. My partner started it. And the SAME THING happened to him.
surprisingly compelling. start when you have free time. like, yanno, a snow day.
JFC this was a game for me! I have been doing it for two days now, I'm NOT finished. I even dreamt about it tonight - or at least about sorting things into categories. AMAZING.

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i really hate the way the "boobs vs butt" thing got broken down into this implicit idea that butt is the nobler stance. it's really stupid. personally im a woman guy. [realizes how that sounds] [purses my lips in thought] [nods confidently] im a woman guy
I work with kids and sometimes we have to do safety lessons with them about like, not telling strangers on the internet your home address or something. And sometimes the kids wont understand why, so you have to impart upon them that, well, some adults want to hurt children. And thats kind of difficult to do, because you have to beat around the bush, both because you dont want to scare them (while still making them understand how serious it is) and because you might lose your job if you explain it too straight forward.
Luckily, for some reason, the villain of one of the most popular franchises with children for the last 10 years happens to be a serial child murderer. So when a kid asks why they shouldnt trust strangers, instead of hand wringing and humhawing my answer out, I can just say "we dont always know when a strange adult has good intentions with children, or when they are William Afton."