bloodymary symbolisms truly be keeping me up at night...
the patron saints of one-way trips.
hail mary full of grace, the lord is with thee. simon, popularly attributed to its link to "listener/the one who listens" but may i also propose: simon peter, one of christ's apostles, most notably the one who always stumbled and struggled with his faith? who promised to never forsake the lord but later promised, thrice, that he never met him? he was a fisherman, for crying out loud, he and his brother both were.
the butcher, the teacher, the convict, the scientist—the lambs sent to the slaughterhouse so everyone else could live.
is it cowardice to want to live? why can't they see that you choosing that is just as important...
something about the dying and the death of the light. it wouldn't be a hail mary without human desperation. and you understand, from a utilitarian standpoint, why the trolley is headed for your track. you still cry over how unfair everything is.
it's worth it. it's bigger than you and me. it is a seed you will never see the fruits of, but it will live, long after you. perhaps your body can even nourish its soil.
you never go home again. (it haunts you sometimes, to think that even your own home will not recognize you anymore.)
something about grasping hope with shaking fingers, and fighting anyways.
