Star Girl Trash

THIS IS THE GREATEST THING I HAVE EVER SEEN

Y’all made Chris Pratt Florida, I-

the worst part about studying languages is knowing that you will never be nearly as good at it as a literal baby

homosexual? oh no, you misheard me. i’m homersexual. im only attracted to the abstract concept of a collection of oral poets who can recite thousands of lines about the rage of achilles and the journeys of odysseus from memory

Oh thank God I thought you meant Simpsons porn

Date me I’m the whole package babe, clingy, always asleep when you need me, and a lil ugly

In anthropological terms, Rickrolling technically qualifies as a “ritual”.

This gives me a headache

Radical Orpheus descends to the underworld.

Morpheus Orpheus Dorpheus

Throckmorpheus

I need a minimum of 2 hours at the start of every day to just vibe before I actually begin my day lol

Maybe if we Ran away with Carly Rae Jepsen in 2015 none of this would have happened

being attracted to older women like, am i attracted to her because she’s hot??? because she’s probably unobtainable?? is it my mommy issues????? anyways, i love a milf

therapists don’t interact

getting an archaeology degree did not make me smarter but it did take me from “lmao isn’t it funny some people think the pyramids were built by aliens” to “i will put venomous snakes in your washing machine if you so much as lightly suggest the pyramids were built by aliens”

Preach