The Clustered System

Hi! First off i’m so sorry this is so late, I normally check this frequently but I lost the login. Late response is better than none right? ^^;

It’s great that you’re willing to learn and are being so supportive! You’re a wonderful person for doing that!  

The big one i’d say is communication. Systems can open up a whole world of confusion, and it’s really important to communicate clearly with each alter. While you certainly don’t have to get as close with them as your partner, it’s good to be on good terms with his alters. Spend some time getting to know them, take interest in them as people. Even if you only end up as acquaintances, that show of friendliness can go a long way to helping you get on with a system as a whole.

Another thing i’d say is patience. It can be upsetting for example if you were wanting to spend time with your partner but someone else fronts instead. This is just one of the unfortunate pitfalls that comes with systems. Plans are a lot harder to keep. You just have to keep in mind that it wasn’t a choice, and doesn’t reflect on you or your relationship. And if you’re on good terms with his alters like I suggested, hey maybe you can still have a great time!

This last point i’d like to make is pretty hotly debated, but: accountability. While blaming one alter for the actions of another is wrong, you should absolutely not let yourself be hurt or stepped on by any member of a system, and if you are then that’s maybe something to bring up with your partner and steps can be taken to resolve it.  Look after yourself too, and don’t force yourself to act like everything is fine if you’re hurting, just because it was a different alter that hurt you. Again, communication is key! 

Sorry again for the super late response, and I wish you all the best!

Nowhere did Tai say that system responsibility wasn’t important. It absolutely is. 

but “You should step up and take responsibility and help deal with issues your alters are causing” and “Don’t paint all alters with the same brush because one does something you dislike” aren’t mutually exclusive

both can apply

Expecting others in a system to take responsibility and step in and try and do something about negative behavior being shown by one alter is fine. 

Treating all of those alters horribly and assuming they’re all the same is not so fine.

In future I would prefer trans//meds not to interact but that’s my bad for not stating that when setting up this blog. I’ll answer since it’s a good question, but please don’t interact with us again

A persecutor is the term for an alter who tends to be detrimental to the system, through actively trying to harm the body, sabotaging relationships, abusing other alters etc. 

Blog: love-cure

☆ 16  ☆ She/Her  ☆ Female  ☆  Lesbian  ☆ ENFJ   ☆ Human  ☆

While i’m sure some systems also take that side, the argument against system children being allowed on the internet most often seems to come from some singlets as a “gotcha” for why systems are, in their eyes, fake. 

Let me preface this by saying that this is in no way intended to shame systems who don’t allow their littles on the internet, this is just presenting information on why some systems choose to do so.

So, the main “gotcha” argument:

“If system littles are really children, why do you allow them on the internet, hm?”

Well, because it’s more complicated than that. Systems are very rarely black and white in their functioning, and system children are no different. 

Breaking things down to their simplest form, yes, system littles are children. However, due to being in the body of someone much older, they can’t be treated exactly like children. Let me explain.

Children in childrens bodies get their main form of entertainment through their friends. Fellow children, with whom they can play and socialise. 

Naturally, system littles also want to play and socialise. But it would be inappropriate for someone with a teenage or adult body to start hanging around small children, obviously. 

The internet however, allows system littles the opportunity to connect with other system children, as well as age regressors (a safe community of people who regress to a child like state, normally to cope with trauma or mental illness.) It gives them the opportunity to play and socialise just like every other child.

There’s also the argument of how exactly one would go about stopping a little using the internet. Switching can happen very suddenly at times. There is rarely opportunity to log out of your accounts and close things. Kids are curious. If they see something open, they’ll look through it. As well as that, if they know that everyone else in your system is doing something, they’ll want in. And if it’s your account they’re viewing, depending on the kind of content you follow, they could end up viewing something upsetting or inappropriate.

However, an older alter carefully setting up a special account for the little to switch to allows them to join in on the fun, but in a safe environment. They’ll no longer be interested in your accounts, because they have their own! It’s not as simple as letting them run wild on the internet, as clearly that would be very dangerous. It’s about providing them with supervised and monitored spaces as an alternative to letting them go ham on whatever you happen to have open at the time.