yikes

this is a philosophy tho

fucking shut up i’m trying to complete the ritual

thank you. snakes are gay now

Fuck dude you really can’t

This is the first ad I’ve seen on here that actually fits tumblr’s demographic

every day i eat bread and think about women to stay alive, this is known as maintaining homostasis

remember the time i pitched a longform piece to buzzfeed and the editor was like, “this sure is an interesting idea, how about you write this entire 12,000-word article on spec and then i’ll take a look at it and see if i like it enough to publish it and pay you for it” and i was like, “no, i want some assurance that you will publish my work and pay me for my labour before i spend several months researching and reporting and writing this piece, that is standard in this industry,” and she never replied to me, and i eventually pitched it to another publication with a fraction of buzzfeed’s budget and got paid literally thousands of dollars. bc i think about that a lot.

it’s almost like buzzfeed isn’t real journalism

no, buzzfeed is real journalism, buzzfeed’s news team won a pulitzer, it’s just that buzzfeed’s management is made up of grifters and their greed has penetrated every level of the publication! effed up!

mark fuckerburg

slap your balls and die

at this point comedy is a moving target and im just flailing my arms in a vain hope to hit it

#you hit it twice man

THIS IS THE WORST THING

HATE

this is why we’re getting deleted

Oh my god it just keeps going

no i cant FUCKING come into work right now im being goth. idiot.