old studio ghibli study i never posted
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@clearskiesalloveryou
old studio ghibli study i never posted

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The type of the mother I’m trying to be. Not just encourage bodily autonomy, but reward displays of it, even when it might make someone else in the room uncomfortable.
I’ve made so many people uncomfortable in supporting my daughter’s personal space. People will try to hug her, she’ll sometimes say “No, thank you” and the adult will look at me to make her do it, but I just say “It’s ok honey, you don’t have to hug anyone you don’t want to.” It makes people irrationally huffy, making me feel even more justified in supporting my daughter’s choices. Creeps.
I legit had to mom-voice some random woman with a “she said no!” when she tried to force a hug on Madison. (who was not very good at verbalizing to people she didn’t know/trust at the time)
She replied, “I just want a hug, it won’t hurt her.”
Me: She. Said. No.
There aren’t many things more important than letting my daughter know that I have her back when it comes to something like this.
I work with five year olds and I had a very long talk with them about permission and that your body belongs to yourself and no one else. “Even if you want to hug your friend, you need to stop and ask if it’s okay and if they don’t want you to touch them, you should respect that choice and not do it.” they were like “cool” and then every time after that they had no problem asking their friends “can I give you a hug?” Or “can I hold your hand?” Very politely. If their friend said no, they shrugged and went on with their life. They even started asking me if they could hug me or if it was okay to hold my hand when they were sad. And I always ask when they need comfort “do you need or want a hug?” If they say no, I ask “okay, let me know what we can do as a class to help you feel better. Quiet time? Do you want a stuffed animal? Sit on the couch? Do you need some time alone?” They verbalize what they need and they become aware of their own autonomy and their ability and power to say “no.” Just because someone is an adult does NOT give them the right to hug a child who has said “no” or “no thanks.” Teach then that they own their own body, and no one else is in charge of it. Teach them the power of NO.
^^^^^this is so important
Whenever a kid refused to high 5 me for whatever reason, I make a point to say “thank you for stating your boundaries”.
My husbands family get so offended when my stepdaughter doesn’t want a hug. I just tell them “no, she said she doesn’t want one”. They often try to force her to hug them or just grab her. It starts young, and they learn their body isnt their own.
When I first met my stepdaughter, if I asked for a hug, she wouldn’t say no, but she’d go into a protective stance and just wait. She was waiting for me to violate her boundaries. I told her “you don’t have to give me a hug if you don’t want one. You’re allowed to say no”. It took a while, but now she’s happy saying no.
Children have a right to boundaries as much as an adult does. Don’t violate a child’s boundaries.
It means a lot to me, for reasons I won’t go into, that you’re teaching your stepdaughter that. We need to teach more kids about this, and for that matter, need to teach adults to respect kids’ boundaries.
Very important to tech both, children AND adults!
Princesas Tutu Commission for @megasumz !!
Commission Info!
she does it on purpose
i have nothing witty to say i just love them

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romeo and juliet
Hi! I'm a DV survivor and I'm in an address confidentiality program. I love to see people raising awareness, but I think accuracy is important. The post you reblogged says that it's very simple to get into these programs and you don't need to have filed a police report etc. That's true in my state (I am very lucky!) but not in all US states. Requirements vary a lot state by state. Best thing is to ask a local DV shelter or similar organization. 1/2
2/2 - Address Confidentiality Program anon - Even if you’re in a state with a low barrier to program entry, it can be a slow process to get started. They have to process all your info, mail you stuff, etc. It’s probably too late to get into a program before the presidential election. That said, they’re still beneficial to survivors. Just understand that it’s a complex system, there is a ton of misinformation out there, and it’s important to talk to an advocate in your state.
Thank you so much for writing in with more accurate information! This is very important for any survivors of domestic violence.
And here’s more of what we’ve written for survivors of financial abuse in particular:
When Money is the Weapon: Understanding Intimate Partner Financial Abuse
[image description: a tweet by user @indigenousAI saying
“fun fact: as a DV survivor i cannot register to vote because doing so makes my address public. anyone who is fleeing or hiding from an abuser is automatically disenfranchised from the political process and this is a feature, not a bug”]
I don’t know of the original poster might not be aware
but!
if you’ve been a victim of domestic violence, sexual assault, or stalking, you can enroll into the address confidentiality program (free of cost!) and be registered to vote as an absentee voter and your name and address will not be made available for the public
it is super easy to get enrolled - the application takes like 5 minutes, but it has to be with someone who is certified to do it (most likely an advocate! try going to a family justice center in your area or calling the Attorney Generals office in your area!!!!)
ALSO :
you don’t need to have any police reports or have a protection order to qualify!!! you just have to sign stating that you’ve been a victim of one of the aforementioned crimes.
Links to the info for every state in the Wikipedia article:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Address_confidentiality_program
Address confidentiality program - Wikipedia

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Throwback Thursday to when I posted this GIF all the way back in 2013. Everyone on this site thought that this had to do with Fifty Shades of Gray and the daddy dom lifestyle, and acted like a bunch of horny fools in the replies. But it wasn’t. It really wasn’t!
I was just trying to get my work friend to come over to my house to see the funny images that I had up on my cork board. His phone service had recently expired, and the only way I could get him to see it was through Tumblr. I had done this a few times with him prior to this GIF blowing up, which soured our friendship.
I was wearing the suit because I had a formal business meeting in a couple of hours. I actually hate the daddy dom lifestyle. Please stop thinking that I’m a part of that community!!
Every villain has a tragic backstory
i need like. $300 by the 12th of march 🙃
so my university decided to fuck me over. instead of taking out the money i charged for my books in august, which i purposefully bought early so the money would be taken out of my student loan and grant money, they decided to "push back" the charge to now because supposedly other students were having trouble paying for shit in august so they decided to just not talk to anyone about their financial situation and just do whatever the fuck they wanted to with my charges i guess. i assumed this money was taken out in august like it was supposed to, but it was not, and therefor i did not budget to spend an extra $300 this month.
i could use any help that y'all are willing to give. if you're interested in commissioning me for some art, here is my commission carrd with all my commissioning info. if you're not interested in a commission but would like to donate a bit of cash, here is my paypal, venmo, and my google pay is [email protected]. otherwise you can help by reblogging this, which i would also appreciate.
EDIT: also realized i said march not october. it's been a long day
posted on october 4th 2020. $0/336
i'm already about a fourth of the way there the morning of october 5th, thank y'all so much for helping me out! again please reach out to me if you'd like a commission! also, if you donate and you'd still like some art please feel free to message me and i'd be happy to draw you like an icon or something to show my appreciation if you would like!
october 5th 2020. $80/336
october 6th 2020. $105/336
october 6th 2020, $165/336
i'm halfway there in only two days, thank y'all so much!!! reminder that if you sent me money and have the receipt you're more than welcome to reach out and get some art in return!!! but either way thank y'all so much!!!! it really means a lot 💚
also an update: i talked to my school's financial aid office and they said they would waive the late fee for me if i couldn't pay by the 12th! so now my deadline is the 26th of october as that's my priority registration day for my classes and i cannot have a student bill balance when i sign up for classes. but i'm thinking hopefully i'll be in the clear by then!
october 8th 2020. $170/336
hey guys!! so i paid my student bill today to get it out of the way, but i had to take the extra $166 i needed for it out of my rent check. this means i'm running the possibility of my rent being short this month, but luckily i have more time to earn some money in that time- my rent is due 11/5. reminder that i do commissions and accept payments through paypal, venmo, AND google pay! if you're interested in a commission or just want to kick a couple bucks my way i would appreciate it so much, and if you can't then a reblog of this works too! thank y'all so much for the help you've given me!!
october 12th 2020. $170/336
here is a carrd with links to donate to first nations
please dm me, or reblog this post with additional links, so that i can add more.
it's so funny seeing people on twitter pining after tumblr like "damn the tagging system was great" or "i miss customizing my own page" it's like that scene in movies where everyone eulogizes a character who's very much still alive and in the room
They pretend like tumblr is dead but still go on here everyday to steal jokes 😭
indigenous terminology in north america
it's indigenous peoples' day in the usa! to celebrate i am here to help non-indigenous folks in north america to think about the terminology they use because i know not all of y'all know how the nuances of the many things we're called. in general, when talking about an indigenous person or character and referring to their indigeneity, referring to their specific culture is the best option. i am indigenous, but more specifically i am cree. that said, let's talk about terminology while recognizing that the following list is super simplified to give you a brief overview.
indigenous is an umbrella term that refers to the original inhabitants of a land. it is used to talk about indigenous people worldwide. we use it as a collective term because we share many interests, but we are all different peoples and nations. people who are māori or sámi or ainu are all indigenous, but they're all from very different places and cultures. indigenous as a term unites us, but shouldn't be used to erase our differences.
aboriginal is, like indigenous, an umbrella term that refers to the original inhabitants of a land. aboriginal was a favoured term in canada for many years and is still used by some multi-nation organizations. canada's indigenous peoples' day (june 21) is also sometimes called aboriginal peoples' day.
native american is a term that refers specifically to indigenous people living in what is currently the contiguous united states of america. people living in alaska or hawaii may prefer the term native hawaiian or native alaskan. if you call someone in canada native american they'll know what you mean, but it's not the preferred term. like indigenous, it is an umbrella term and covers many different tribes/nations. it is a term assigned to indigenous people and adopted by us, but not one we came up with ourselves.
native alaskan is an umbrella term that refers to indigenous people living in what is currently alaska. they are culturally distinct peoples from native american cultures. you may be used to calling native alaskans "esk*mos" and if you are you should stop that right fucking now because esk*mo is a derrogatory term that comes from cree slang. some native alaskan people are inuit (see below), but not all are.
native hawaiian is a term for indigenous hawaiians. this is another umbrella term. native hawaiians were not included in federal programs for native americans until the 70s and some programs still exclude them, as do many discussions about native american issues even though they are also an indigenous group colonized by the usa.
native is an umbrella term used by indigenous people to refer to themselves. in north america, it may be socially acceptable to refer to indigenous people as being native, but ymmv and elsewhere in the world, it carries more racist, colonial baggage than it does here, where it is generally understood as a shortened form of native american.
american indian is a dated term that is still used in some official spaces in the united states. older indigenous people may use this (or the term indian) because they're used to saying it. if you're not indigenous, you should probably say native american or indigenous. amerindian is a portmanteau of this term and similarly isn't really favoured anymore.
indian is a dated term for indigenous people in canada and the united states. it stems from the time of christopher columbus when columbus decided to call us "indian". if you are non-indigenous, do not refer to indigenous people as indian. in canada, it is also a legal designation tied to the indian act that means some indigenous people hold "indian status," which grants them certain rights. some indigenous people in north america have reclaimed the term indian to refer to themselves.
ndn is a slang term we use to refer to ourselves online. if you're non-indigenous then bro. do not. it just stands for indian, you can't!
first nations is a term analogous to native american. it is used in canada to refer to the many indigenous nations south of the arctic circle. as someone who is cree, i'm first nations. it is an umbrella term, but not every indigenous person in canada is first nations. unlike "indian", it is not a legal term.
inuit is the term for indigenous peoples that live in what is currently canada's north. some indigenous people in alaska (and elsewhere) may also identify as inuit because the american/canadian border is a new addition in the grand scope of their histories. inuit are culturally distinct from first nations/native americans. also inuit means "the people" and y'all my inuk friend is so fucking amused every time someone says "the inuit people" because y'all are out here saying "the the people people." not all indigenous people in the north are inuit.
métis is a term for people who are descended from specific communities where indigenous people and non-indigenous settlers intermarried and created their own culture. they are specific, cultural communities within canada with their own culture and language. not everyone with mixed indigenous and settler ancestry is métis. for example, my dad is white and my mom is cree. i am not métis because i don't have any connection to a historic métis community. again, this is not a legal term the way indian is.
redsk*n is a derogatory term for native american/first nations people. the term originates from the genocide of our peoples, tied with the practice of collecting bounties for the scalps (the "red skins" in question) or other body parts of indigenous people in the west. do not use the term. even if you're talking about the football team that recently changed its name, say "the washington team" or something similar. it's a slur. (source: https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/a-brief-history-of-the-word-redskin-and-how-it-became-a-source-of-controversy/2016/05/19/062cd618-187f-11e6-9e16-2e5a123aac62_story.html)
esk*mo is another slur. it's an anglicized version of askipiw, a cree word which is more or less saying that inuit eat raw meat (i.e. that is implying they're more akin to animals than people). again, even when you're referring to sports teams that use the term in their name, don't say it. it doesn't matter what some white dude on QI told you, it's not a "more acceptable" umbrella term for northern indigenous peoples. some people might use it to refer to themselves still, but, as with other terminology on this list, if you're not indigenous, don't say it!

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