Just Thinkin’ Of Random Songs @cleargoggles - Tumblr Blog

tes THDPSSSSPS 💜

wgat did u say

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loveamongthesailors

*walking down main street sweeping my scythe back and forth in front of me* watch out bitch! watch out bitch!

energyprison

Having a job is an awesome way to stay hydrated because you get so bored you start drinking water just for a little excitement

slimegargoyle

guys you gotta stop thinking of women in their 30s as elderly it’s just misogyny

courtesyname

you also gotta stop thinking about actual elderly women as lesser human beings. Youth is not a measure of one’s worth.

glowwormcentral-deactivated2021

[lawyer voice] mothers and fuckers of the jury-

hellenhighwater

DO YOU KNOW HOW OFTEN I THINK ABOUT THIS POST??? IM IN LAW SCHOOL THIS POST IS GOING TO RUIN MY LIFE

toontwink

reblog to ruin a law student’s life

theshitpostcalligrapher

oh hello you’ve returned to us

hellenhighwater

Hi. I’m a trial attorney now and every last one of you is a motherfucker.

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troublepunk-ldn

me as a teenager: man it sucks to have no privacy or autonomy but i guess its for a good reason. when i turn 18 i will realise how young i was and understand why they did all that.

me as an adult: teenagers are an oppressed class, their abuse is normalised and systemic and they need to start killing people

dumbpuppyfag

smitten is such a great word :) omg he's so cute it feels like i'm being killed by god

thefairytaler

My wife pointed out to me the other day that apparently most people were literally only taught how to say Sorry and not how to Apologize or even that they are different things so here.

If all you ever do is step 1, not only did you not apologize, but people will rightfully stop believing you and start getting pissed or hurt.

liquidstar

If my mom sees a significant amount of blood she gets lightheaded, and has fainted on some occasions. Once it happened when we were kids, I wasn't there to witness it but I heard the story from my dad. Basically my brothers, around 7 or 8 at the time, were playing outside while my mom was making their lunch, and she accidentally cut her finger. It wasn't anything serious, but it drew a fair bit of blood and she passed out. My dad saw this and rushed over, but he didn't really know what to do so he just sort of started slapping her to wake her up (not recommended, but he had no idea and panicked)

At that exact moment my brothers both came in from playing, and all they saw was our mom unconscious on the floor and our dad slapping her. So, like, without even saying a word to each other they both just INSTANTLY start whaling on him, like, full blown attack mode to defend our mom. Which obviously didn't help the situation, but she did wake up and everything was fine.

Now our dad says that he's actually really glad they attacked him over what they thought was going on, because it means he raised good boys. And I still think that's true, they're very good boys.

liquidstar

Same guys btw. So they did turn out good yeah

castielrisingabove

I just keep thinking about how Ryland Grace used to be a regular at his local diner.

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universeleads

I explained the concept of "blorbo from my shows" to my 71 year old immigrant grandfather because I referenced it in passing and I thought nothing of it, until today when he said "I think I'll watch peaky blinders tonight and see my blorbo from my shows" referring, of course, to Cillian Murphy playing Tommy Shelby

universeleads

English isn't his first language so he's not super in touch with modern slang, so I've been accidentally teaching him to talk like a tumblr user. His favorite thing to say lately is "me when I'm a little hater" when he's like talking shit about the neighbor's son

overwhelmedfernfrond

I explained the “x before gta6” meme to my immigrant father and he, in turn, explained to me how back in his day in Romania, they had the same type of joke, except instead of it being gta6, it was about the imminent death of a singer named Gică Petrescu, who everyone was continuously shocked by because he refused to die. Every time a momentous event happened people would say, in essence: “This happened and Gică Petrescu hasn’t even died yet?!?”

So. He understood the gta6 meme immediately because they apparently had the same thing in Romania when he was young, except way, way more morbid

venort

OP are you telling me we got the death of Gică Petrescu before we got gta6

melodeelaine

Kingfisher and Great Egret lined up just right

blazing-butterfly-inactive

@notsospiteful I like the way you think

dogpuppy

analog-television

i learned about a stupid looking bird today and i cant stop laughing

its called a crested satinbird (cnemophilus macgregorii)

bace-jeleren

batterbees

bob-artist

You can't just nerf him without admitting that he was too powerful in his original form

youhaveaguineapigwhere

Everytime this gets a note when its nowhere near christmas I question my sanity just a little bit more

youhaveaguineapigwhere

No, it is July, stop that, stop giving this notes, you guys have lost reblogging privileges

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lesvegas

passing in public makes me feel like white shrek

lesvegas

literally how it feels

welpnotagain

sexboobomb

I want to learn more exclamations that aren’t strictly just religious stuff. “Jesus Christ” this, “oh my god” that, nah I want something fresh.

What are some of y’all’s favorite exclamations that aren’t about god?

sexboobomb

first submission and we're already off to a fantastic start. absolutely love this one thank you

sexboobomb

ok its time for the challenge round now we want nominations that arent about sex either actually

mbrainspaz

had a friend who used to make new ones up on the spot. The only one that stuck with me was 'good golly jelly beans'. If something catastrophic happens I go for 'that's not ideal.'

foldingfittedsheets

@chekhovs-tantrum

Absolutely not letting you leave these in the tags.

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