Fandom and stuff

Hollanov: “Erm! actually! Shane is the one that was repressing his true self!

(if you are good than maybe it makes up for the ‘bad thing’ you are doing)

and Surprise he is ALSO a cocky asshole when he’s no longer scared of the world!”

Shane: *chirping his ass off and flirting loudly with Ilya*

And where did all that media training get him? Run out of Montreal on a rail. From now on Shane will not be holding back any longer. His public image is bland. His actual personality is not. And he’s reached the point where he’s starting to care less about presenting the perfect media trained image. Since it did him no good at all when the chips were down.

I think the OP is right. The public will be seeing a much funnier, much more savage, and more truthful Shane from now on. I’m not saying he’ll forget all his media training. But he’s going to lighten up and let bits and pieces of his cunty, hilarious real personality show through from time to time.

Yuna will be worried at first . But in fact, behaving like a Real Boy (with a wicked sense of humour) somehow makes him more popular. Finally, a Shane Hollander who occasionally breaks free of his Most Boring Man in Hockey public persona and turns out to be hilarious.

So the first time Ilya makes a joke on social media about impregnating Shane - which you KNOW he will - it goes like this:

Ilya: I want to get you pregnant so bad it makes me look stupid

Shane: sorry can't do, Hayden has dibs

get you pregnant so bad it

makes me look stupid

A few minutes later, the same guys come and drag Ilya to the bar, only for him to find Shane on the counter, lying on his back. Ilya quickly catches his eye, silently asking him if he's OK with whatever is happening and is relieved to find him smiling, giving Ilya a small nod in reassurance. Ilya then turns towards the team members gathered on the other side of the counter and shouts, " You dumb fuckers better have a good reason to have my husband up on the bar like this."

Wyatt answers," We don't want to die on the night we won the cup, so of course we have a good reason." He takes a shot from the bar tender and turns towards Shane. " OK, Hollzy. Suck your stomach in as low as you can." Shane pulls his tshirt up a little and sucks in a deep breath, pulling in his belly button, to make a hollow space as much as he can with his abs in the way. Wyatt pours the shot in, careful not to spill and announces proudly," Special shot for the Stanley Cup Champion!" All the guys start chanting " Cap! Cap! Cap!" and there is nothing else for Ilya to do except to bend forward, gather all the liquid in his mouth, his tongue tickling Shane's belly button in the process and tip his head back, swallowing it whole. Everyone gathered at the bar scream in delight, chanting Ilya's name. Ilya licks his lips and admits, " OK, that was genius. Now I feel bad for calling you stupid." Wyatt looks thrilled for a second before scrunching his face in confusion, " Wait, when did you call me stupid?" Ilya waves it away, "Doesn't matter. You are genius now." Shane doesn't get up but instead grabs the still upset Wyatt and tells him to get another shot. He then turns towards Ilya and says with a twinkle in his eye that Ilya knows so well but appears rarely in public, " Don't swallow it this time." Ilya grins at what Shane is implying and before he could respond, Wyatt has returned with another shot and is now filling Shane's belly once more.

Ilya steps forward to slurp all the liquid into his mouth again and with some difficulty manages not to swallow it. Shane lifts himself up on his elbows and Ilya wraps an arm around his neck, grabbing his chin and tilting his head back. Shane opens his lips when Ilya presses his mouth against them, pushing the vodka into his husband's mouth. Shane swallows to the sound of their team members going nuts, screaming their names at the top of their lungs. Someone calls out, " Holy shit, that's hot as fuck."

ETA2: we do use inches/miles in poetic ways ("he was lost in thought/miles away" or "his lips were a bare inch away").

how‘s the water?

you‘re in it

It started when he was a kid and he was trying to help everyone get better at hockey including the opposing teams players, he would say something like “your stick grip is weak” or “you’re slow on your right” (idk i don’t know hockey very well ESPECIALLY little kid hockey) but he says it totally deadpan because little Shanebug doesn’t understand tone yet.

This makes the other teams so mad! They try and fight him constantly! Little bitty baby hockey fights and then Yuna sits him down in middle school after the first fight that he actually gets hurt (black eye and bloody lip) and asks him what he is saying to make everyone fight him?

“Nothing mean I swear mom!!! I’m trying to be nice and help correct their form”

And suddenly Yuna gets it and explains to Shane that not everyone but especially not the opposing team likes to have their flaws pointed out to them even if it’s coming from a good place and how that could be seen as chirping.

So he stops for a while, then his coach for world juniors tells him to try and piss off Rozanov enough that they can draw a penalty. So Shane does what he does best and points out a flaw at each face off. Jokes on him though because Ilya is actively changing those things and getting better every face off because he is taking it for what it is, advice.

Which pisses Shane off, he thinks his chirping tactic won’t work now that he is older. So he points out at his first scrimmage at practice in Montreal that the center who has been there for years (who he is probably replacing) is favoring his left side is staying too far left to compensate (again I don’t know hockey so I am trying to translate things I know about soccer lol)

And the center loses it on him! Immediately yelling about the lack of respect and how a rookie makes it to the MLH and thinks they are hot shit.

So Shane realizes his chirping DOES work just not on rozanov and becomes a menace he studies game tape specifically to find holes in his opponents game and pre prepares chirps and it fucking works because all these men are so far up their own asses that they just get mad instead of using the advice.