It’s Silly Time Hours (nah Kinda Doin Whatever)

"baptise me in hot dog water"

Hot dog water - there's a Tumblr post out there I've seen saying hot dog water is the opposite of holy water, due to the fact that a single drop of it will contaminate what it touches. I assume this was partly inspired by this allusion but who knows for sure.

Also the the idea of holy water as inhuman and cleaning vs hot dog water as the remains of feeding someone - often a child - and entirely human. It may be dirty and I do not want it on me but God hot dog water has some memories. You will not wash away my sins. They're mine. Also, anyone can make hot dog water but holy water is refined, restricted (yes anyone can make it in an emergency but lay people are restricted from it)

"you and I both know"

Unlike baptism for babies, this one is done between two people who are both aware of what is happening. The one receiving the baptism gives the orders about what they want to happen. The giver and receiver are portrayed as equals. They are equally aware of their humanity.

"the holy stuff won't take"

Ooof heartbreaking, amazing line. Raises so many questions. What does it mean when the water "takes"? What has the receiver done that makes them unfit for holy water? Or, what has the holy water done that makes it to weak to help, to be a part of your life?

Meter

There are two readings of the poem's meter that I immediately identify, the first is how I'd want to read it, and the second is how a normal person would probably read it, but both make the same point.

In my interpretation (left), the first line is four wholely irregular feet: an iamb into a dibrach into two trochees; The second line is two trouches into a hanging stressed syllable; And the third line is three iambs.

In the more normal interpretation(right), the first line and second line are six trochees all together plus that hanging syllable in 'knowing' which transitions the poem to iambic trimeter.

And look at the interesting result of that laid bare:

In English poetry there's a tradition, all other things being equal, that iambs are considered the sophisticated foot with trochees often being contrasted as the vulgar or common foot.

The vulgar in specificity "hot dog water" is put in trochee, while the respectably vague "the holy stuff" is afforded iambs. Without the poet having thought of the stress things the pattern actively, this incapulation of the English poetic tradition is astounding. Especially when you consider the

Chiasmus

Chiasmus is a figure of rhetorical construction, in which two pairs of ideas are laid across each other, A B B A. It's one of the more popular figures of rhetoric and if you're looking for it you'll see it everywhere.

In the most literal sense, it's about repetition; but, you can apply it more liberally to ideas, thoughts, or in this case, parts of speech:

The nouns and verb pairs in the first and third lines crossover each other. They are in chiasmus. Structurally, the inversion makes the poem feel more solid, while still furthering emphasizing the contrast between the idea of hot dog water and the holy stuff.

oh and happy nano or whatever

The new girl: what’s film?

Me: … film. Like… film that goes in a film camera.

New girl: what’s that mean?

Me: … before cameras were digital.

New girl: how did you do it before digital?

Me: format?

New girl: yeah what do I do?

Me: you… put the usb in. Then you make a new folder on it and rename it with (name, date, location)

New girl: but how do I do that?

There’s a lot of assumed technical literacy because we had a whole generation brought up on desktop computers, but now it’s one that was brought up on phones, tablets, and chromebooks. Phones are easier to use, but that means the users have never had to work around the daily problems presented by most desktop environments.

Much of the back-end architecture will soon be more difficult to maintain, as those with the expertise retire or when the one guy volunteering to update a niche corner of some minute software function that holds up ¼ of the computer world dies.

While products are made to be “easier to use” now, which has made them more accessible, they aren’t made to last, contributing to tech pollution / e-waste. Many consumers don’t know how to upgrade or repair their own tech…if they are upgradeable.

Which brings me to my next point.

I bought a new low end laptop recently. Not chrome book, but actual Windows PC laptop. I haven’t had a personal computer for a while and with a lot of expectation to “return to the office” because COVID’s over, right? *heavy eye roll*, I wanted something cheap and portable. I found a deal because a lot of low end laptops are being discounted because school children aren’t remote now. I was actually looking for refurbished but found what I wanted cheaper new, sadly.

Finding one that I knew would run the software I needed or that wouldn’t be bogged down just with Windows? A challenge. You’ve got to know what RAM, HDD vs eMMC vs SSD, cores, age of processors, and all those specs mean.

Finding one that wasn’t Windows in “S mode,” a bullshit mode that locks you into the Windows app / store for ALL software (where they take a cut of each purchase)? Even more challenging.

When I booted it up…I imagine most people just click yes through things because why not, just want to get right to it, right?

The amount of privileges I had to decline because of targeted data collection, for ad preferences and other nefarious reasons; the number of easy-to-miss “no thanks” options to decline enrollment in bloatware; the number of things that wanted me to launch the free trial, where they could automatically enroll me into a monthly PAID subscription and could report failure to add a credit card to pay for it to credit agencies (!); many of these presented as the “recommended” or default option… ASTOUNDING.

And then I still had to go into system settings and turn off additional data tracking that they didn’t even present during set-up, along with bloatware bullshit programs they wanted to always run at start-up. Because I knew where to go and find that stuff. Don’t even get me starting on fucking Cortana.

Technology has gotten bad. Even 10 years ago, it was a couple simple agreements not to pirate, using software at your own risk, etc. and that was it.

Now? Waiving rights, arbitration, hidden terms that could leave you owing money if you don’t uninstall it, data collection to link accounts and literally track every move / your exact location / your usage, attempts to personalize ads through your specific searches, inability to block cookies unless you download a Google app!?, four pop ups for every website, as the default?

It is scary how much tech that was designed to increase productivity and make life easier has become yet another way for corporations to track us, sell to us, and sell their data on us, even potentially incriminating us.

Oh, and heaven forbid you know what you’re doing and try to upgrade or repair your equipment yourself. Warranty voiding? Should be illegal, may be illegal in some areas, but they still tell you it’ll void your warranty. Good luck finding the parts. Using non-OEM parts will void the warranty too…by design.

Windows Vista era to

deal with this bullshit.

General basic safety

How to avoid ransomware, malware, hacks, and how to maintain good data privacy.

https://www.getsafeonline.org/

^ this has intermediate information (as well as beginner info) that I think people who grew up on the internet benefit most from (so it won’t tell you what a phone is, or how to press the power button to turn on a computer). I recommend all sections the personal section under the top drop down (except the one aimed at children).

https://edu.gcfglobal.org/en/internetsafety/

Same deal as above, with quizzes and additional topics.

https://www.digitalliteracyassessment.org/

^ this one is mostly video and audio which some people might helpful

HTML

https://www.w3schools.com/html/default.asp

W3schools is a well known free resource for coding. I recommend HTML because it gives basic website building capabilities, so you can create a neocities website for example or even edit your Tumblr theme. You can also learn CSS (used with HTML to make prettier websites) and Python (used to make programs).

Touch typing

Touch typing is using the home row on keyboards. It allows people to type faster than pressing individual keys one at a time, like on a smart phone.

https://www.typingclub.com/

This site has lessons, and honestly looks much nicer than the program I learned to use touch typing with.

https://www.how-to-type.com/touch-typing-lessons/how-to-type-home-keys/

This site has lessons and practice tests and speed tests to measure progress. In middle school I was taking a practice test about three times a week and a speed test once a week for about fifteen minutes each time, if that helps.

—

These three areas are the main things people were taught in computer literacy courses.

I also recommend checking your local library or other educational resources (like local colleges, your current college/highschool/middle school etc, the college you graduated from). These can have in person instructors which can be super helpful. Feel free to send me any questions and stuff, if I don’t already know I’ll try to find out and share where I found it!

Helpful things I’ve done with my windows computer to make it safer/more efficient:

Installing Malwarebytes/enabling windows defender

Creating a backup of my computer on a hard drive

Setting permissions for apps to start on startup

Getting a password manager

Installing a web browser that isn’t chrome

Changing old passwords into better, more secure passwords- especially websites that have debit card info

We are writers. Yes, we write of death and broken dreams and horrors beyond human comprehension, because all of those are parts of life.

That boy wearing jeans that are too tight

Your neighbors and their “friend” that lives with them

Having a beard and wearing a skirt

Wearing any kind of choker

If you are trans you are a sex pervert

If you're gay you're a sex pervert.

If you're the world's most chaste and godly nun praying in a convent, who has a lesbian thought once while delirious from a fever, you are a sex pervert.

If you're a family with a white picket fence house, a breadwinner, a stay-at-home parent, two cars, a dog, and whose politics are right wing... if you happen to be a same-sex couple, you're sex perverts and probably pedophiles.

If you're a closeted, self-hating, self-hurting, self-repressing queer going through every torturous form of conversion therapy, who condemns the other queers, who screams at the people who seek abortion help outside Planned Parenthood... you are a filthy, irredeemable sex pervert, a danger to children, and the most sympathy you deserve is transient pity if you admit to struggling.

There is nothing you can do, no behaviour you can engage in, no thought you can have, no clothes you can wear, no existence you can lead that is not an unacceptable sex perversion in the minds of these people. Your existence is kink, and you cannot appease them into thinking otherwise.

The bigoted conservative mind cannot conceive of queerness except as perversion, except as hedonistic degenerate thrill-seeking. They don't know another reason to do any thing, except as an exercise of power over someone else. Their entire world revolves around this idea. Everything is power, everything is control.

Therefore you can never appease them. Your mere existence is to them a totalizing threat, to their worldview, to their sense of normalcy, to their positions of social power, to their patriarchy, to their holiness. The only thing you can do that will ever satisfy them is die.

Which leaves us with this:

Either we have solidarity with our queer siblings - yes including the ones you don't understand, yes including the ones who have that weird sex that you think is fucked up, yes including the cringe annoying ones who "make the rest of us look bad," yes including the fucked up problematic ones who need to change and make amends, but who deserve their human rights whether or not they ever do that.

a comic about my weird irreverence for canon

The subtle interconnectedness and consistency of your stories (that I’ve read so far) are like looking at a gem from various angles. Thank you for sharing it all with the world! I can’t wait to read more of your published works in the future.

(Also, I’ve never sent an ask before, I hope this is the correct channel for this kind of thing)

1) Make it easy, make it accessible, and make it appealing. If anything this is the most important thing, all tips going forward are based around this concept.

2) That thing you think would help you but you haven’t bought/done it yet because you’re technically surviving without it? buy it, you need it. doesn’t matter if people around you might think it’s wasteful or that you’re lazy, you’re not, just do it, trust me.

3) expanding on tip #2, if you’re like me and eggs are your main source of protein because they’re quick and easy and feeding yourself is a near insurmountable task- buy yourself an electric egg cooker, make a bunch of hard boiled eggs and keep them in your fridge for quick and easy protein to add to any meal (handful of crackers, a hard boiled egg and a banana? 5 star meal right there.). Other easy protein includes: potstickers (put them in instant ramen), edamame (they have microwaveable snack packs), chickpeas (put in salads!), beans (can of beans microwaved with shredded cheese and some tortilla chips), peanut butter (with crackers, apple and cheese, adult lunchable style) and tofu (cut into cubes, throw them into a ziplock with some seasoning and potato starch, shake that shit up and bake it until crispy).

4) spend a little extra (if you are able) on daily use items that excite you, it will make you more likely to remember/want to do said daily task. for example: the only reason i remember to use sunscreen is because i bought some fancy japanese sunscreen that smells like roses so i get excited to use it, same for laundry detergent and body wash! there’s a gajillion different body wash scents out there, switch it up!

5) if there’s a task you continuously struggle with take a moment to think about which part of the task is making it difficult, it could be something even as small as “i don’t put my dirty clothes in the hamper because my hamper has a lid on it and lifting the lid is one step too many” sounds a little stupid huh? but trust your gut, it’s not stupid if it works. See tip #2 and BUY A HAMPER WITHOUT A LID.

6) if you are having trouble starting a task, break the task down further, sometimes the way i start tasks is just by going “ok step 1) stand up-“ and so forth. don’t worry about the task as a whole just take it one step at a time.

7) if you’re halfway through a task and have to stop, leave it out. all this, “put things away when you’re done with them.” is bullshit. you will be much more likely to finish the task if restarting it is easier because you left it out. you can also create faux deadlines like “I gotta finish this project before my friend comes over on tuesday because after I finish it I can clean off the dinner table.” etc.

8) It’s okay to outsource tasks and don’t let anyone tell you otherwise, humans are designed to ask for, and to require help (what do babies do when they’re first born?? cry for help!!) ask for help and receive help without shame, if it makes your life better, you are WINNING.

9) if you have one big overwhelming task that you think you need to get done before anything else, but you feel motivated to do other tasks, do those other tasks first, it’s okay. otherwise in all likelihood (at least in my case) you’ll put everything off until the last minute and then have to do said overwhelming task and those other tasks won’t get done at all. doing smaller tasks also lowers the mental load and you can use them as a motivation launch pad to tackle bigger things.

10) If you notice you tend to not put something away/forget to do something, perhaps consider moving and storing the item closer to where it ultimately ends up or where you are more likely to see it. For example, my makeup, pills, and mail are all stored on my desk because that’s where I tend to do my makeup, take my pills and deal with my mail. I used to store my pills in my bathroom medicine cabinet but all too often I would forget because they weren’t in my line of sight. now that they’re on my desk, I have multiple chances per day to pass by them, go “oh I gotta take those.” and take them.

11) Open storage, open storage, OPEN STORAGE

12) motivation can look like all kinds of things. sometimes the only reason I get out of bed is because i remember I have a fun snack and I get to go eat it if I get up. it’s okay to lean into those simple “animal-brain” type motivators, you’ll eat because then you can use that fun new kitchen gadget you got a daiso? neat. you’ll shower because then you can paint your nails that fun new color you got? fantastic. you’ll go to the dmv and do that annoying thing because you’ll take yourself out for boba after? superb. lean-IN to those small motivators, they aren’t stupid or childish, they are VITAL.

13) don’t buy into the cult of “if it’s worth doing, do it properly” it’s guaranteed to set you up for failure. if it’s worth doing, do it in whatever capacity you are able to. i put sunscreen on once a day because that’s fucking better than not doing it at all and i sure as all hell will fail at reapplying it multiple times a day. if it’s worth doing, do it half-assed babieeee.

Nagasawa Rosetsu 長沢芦雪, Slug