One Nice Bug Per Day
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let's talk about Bridgerton tea, my ask is open
shark vs the universe
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Product Placement
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he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
AnasAbdin
tumblr dot com
almost home
Origami Around
oozey mess
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hello vonnie
occasionally subtle
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@cjlovesolicity
Mobster, pointing a gun at my head: Any last words kid
Me: I actually like to use women's deodorant because the stuff for men dries out my skin and smells like harsh chemicals
*BANG*
(3 hours later, at Walmart)
(Mobster holding Dove Advance Care in the deodorant aisle)
Hmm...
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I needed to join in on this.
https://trek.epicrandomness.com/
it's tempting to just dismiss heath ledger's joker on account of how it altered society for the worse and inspired a generation of men who in the absolute best case scenario are only so annoying you'd rather eat your own ears than spend even a minute around them but then you sit down and actually watch the dark knight again and fuckkkkkk...he actually kinda crushed that shit like a hydraulic press
Im always like "i will not add my two cents. i will not add my two cents" but i cant lie the pennies are getting sweaty in my hand
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I can't believe the Pope dropped a 240 page manifesto initiating the Bulterian Jihad on AI. What an absolute legend.
I tried distracting a vampire by throwing rice at him, but I only had two grains with me so it didn't work. He counted them instantly. Then he asked me what I was even doing with exactly two grains of rice, and I explained how a bowl of rice tastes better if you spread it out over an entire day. I asked him if he was gonna suck my blood but he said no, he just had a lot more questions about the rice thing.
Putting the term "male gaze" on top of the fridge until everyone remembers that it refers to a cinematographic trend and not the act of looking at things while being a man
reaching up to get it off of the fridge and the big tshirt im wearing as pyjamas rides up and the reader sees my panties
Sorry no, it is REALLY funny to me that in S1E8 of Torchwood (They Keep Killing Suzie), Jack says that Gwen taking Suzie out of the compound is âgetting herself firedâ like there exists literally any precedent whatsoever for consequences inside this organization
because let us review, in roughly chronological order, the absolutely staggering catalogue of behavior before this action that has apparently not resulted in termination
We are introduced to the entire cast having stolen alien artifacts from work to use in their personal lives, and even after those specific items get returned itâs revealed they ALSO just casually have other stuff. Everyone at Torchwood steals from work like theyâre employees at a Spirit Halloween.
Gwen accidentally unleashed an alien organism that killed people through the power of really intense orgasms because she unsafely threw a chisel at another coworker.
Owen used alien technology to stalk and psychologically torment someone outside of work hours which, granted, the guy sucked, but from an HR perspective that sentence alone should have caused the building to implode into a legal singularity.
Ianto secretly smuggled an entire Cyberman into the base, concealed it for who knows how long, continued defending her after she tried converting both the scientist he hired AND Gwen, and somehow retained employment afterward like this was a slightly awkward misunderstanding at a team meeting.
Owen left the keys to Torchwoodâs branded SUV sitting in an unlocked vehicle with all of their classified alien tech and sensitive information inside.
Tosh read everyoneâs minds without consent and later attempted to sneak her alien girlfriend into the secret underground alien bunker.
and THIS is the environment where Jack suddenly decides âwhoa now Gwen, this crosses a lineâ
my sibling in the cosmos what line.
This organization has the structural integrity of wet cardboard. There is no line. There are vague suggestions of professionalism floating somewhere in the distance like ghosts on the horizon while everyone continues committing increasingly unbelievable workplace violations on company time.
I genuinely do not believe a fireable offense exists at Torchwood unless you perhaps arrive to work on time, emotionally stable, and capable of respecting boundaries, at which point the building itself would probably eject you for not fitting the established ecosystem.
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the "things to debate on cardassia" post reminds me of this running joke i have with my father when we come up with autonomy-stripping school assignments. which is what imagine garak had to write about in 500 words or more. "what is the best work of literature and why it's the never-ending sacrifice?" "rate all of the militaries of the quadrant and explain why you chose cardassia as the strongest one" "explain your thought process when you independently came to the conclusion that the obsidian order is the best solution for the safety of cardassia"
Okay so Victorian erotica is literally the most heinous, morally bankrupt, horrific shit I've ever read - but I've read a fair bit, partly from historical interest but also because a while back I helped a friend with a university project she was doing about censorship and pornography in 19th century England.
Anyway I need to share with you all the most hilarious line that has ever been written, circa 1887:
I feel like this excerpt is significantly enhanced by knowing that the novel in question is a first-person narrative written from the perspective of an inexplicably sapient flea who lives on Bella's body, and that's why the third priest's penis is described in this way: from the narrator's perspective it literally blots out the sky.
me when im a flea
Minotaur is not a species
The Minotaur was named that because he was the son of King Minos. Anyone with a bull head has to be named after their dad, like the Kyletaur or something.
hang on i gotta google something
I am so sorry.
1400's Jerry Seinfeld: "What's the deeeeeal with those spanish inquisition guys? They call them Moors, and then they spend their whole career making sure there's less of them!"
unfortunately in the 1400s the sedition-heresy double whammy of ridiculing the crownâs wars against the moors was not the safest bet on the board, especially for jewish writers and new christian writers of jewish descent (the latter demographic being especially known to vocally support the war effort as an ultimately unsuccessful gambit to direct inquisitorial attention away from themselves). luckily for jerĂłnimo de seinfeld, the inquisition would not ban anonymous publication until 1559, so if heâs feeling good about this comedy set he can still choose to circulate the manuscript without his name attached
Tumblr did not âGoncharovâ Poob. Poob is Glupp Shittoing Tubi/Pluto/Roku Channel/Hulu/etc.
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everyone's talking about the ibs/autism haha funny comparison thing while I'm still stuck on the concept that hamsters exist in the wild. like naturally
tf do you mean they're a wild creature. you find those ankle-biters at the pet store
Not a biologist, but the evolution of mammals is way more granular than you might expect. Humans are the sole surviving species of the genus Homo, which was a real party before the other ones went extinct. You're in for a fun time.
Domestic cats are believed to be domesticated not from tigers, but from the African wildcat:
Which evolved to be small just because it's sometimes more useful to be small.
And no, hamsters are not off-brand rats. They're part of the rodent order, which includes beavers, moles, capybaras, guinea pigs (yes, also wild) and lots of other fun things:
Shit. This dude knows an extreme amount about a niche subject. Crazy what you can accomplish when you have treatment resistant IBS
I want it on record that I shit mostly normal.
constantly making airy offhand comments to my preferred younger son about how heâs next in line for the throne after his brother but he still hasnât killed my detested firstborn for me. kids these days have no fucking initiative.
I keep sending them off on âboar huntsâ together and wouldnât you know? they keep coming back after with big smiles and boar heads and the unmistakable stench of brotherly camaraderie. what sick sad days are these!
