Don't visit me. Shoo

I just asked him to rinse his plate so it would be easier for me to clean later!

I guess it’s “either get out from the abuser or stay long enough to be like him” because I sure as hell see signs of my father in me so I went to therapy. I’m not about to became him after I escaped no fucking way

enthralled and obsessed with this car i saw at the science museum today

For all my fellow oversharers out there.

im sure there’s a self-own in here somewhere but i’m gonna leave this one up to sarcastic teens on the internet

Fixed it

I’ll just leave this here

Diver convince octopus to trade his plastic cup for a seashell

really loving how ominous this is

i made a friend at target and we found a really good glitter nail polish that neither of us bought. also i love his mom

When we were in the hospital I got my wife a blanket. What was awesome was they were kept in this machine that was specifically made to heat blankets. I laid the blanket over my wife and said, “do you think they keep these at womb temperature?” I heard a nurse laugh for a solid 3 minutes.

hero: *now looking uncomfortable* oh

hero: i mean- bad!! you did bad!!

hero: *awkwardness intensifies* no problem...

hero: where are your parents I just want to talk

when you're scrolling through tumblr and you suddenly think of something to post or Google or whatever but you keep scrolling coz you can't stop and then you realise oh shit I forgot what i was gonna do so you have to scroll back to where you were when the thought™ occured even if the post was completely unrelated because doing this somehow magically summons your memories