ciipherss

To first state: I have zero idea how active this blog will be. Do not expect consistency from me.

General info:

I am an autistic minor. I also struggle from OCD and chronic pain issues, mostly surrounding my kidney and legs.

(I may or may not go into kidney failure in my 30’s lol)

I absolutely adore science and aim to become a pathologist when older. I am totally happy to discuss biomed and biochem to anyone interested!! (Indoctrination)

Former Catholic

I am Bisexual and gender fluid (he/they/she/it)

fandoms/things I like

Gravity Falls, bg3, crk, Genshin Impact, Will Wood, jjba, tdlosk, mha, mob psycho, vocaloid, tbhk, dungeon meshi, omori, iwate, epic: the musical, kcc (it’s fallen off as of late..sigh), my and my pokes ocs, dr. jekyll and mr. hyde, way of the househusband

DNI: pro/comshipperscontent, lolicons/shotacons, racists, sexists, transphobes, homophobes, ableists

NEW ALIEN STAGE IS OUT!! HOLY FUCK!!

the religious imagery. I grew up catholic don’t play these GAMES with me💔

Singing a song of angry men?

It is the music of a people

Who will not be slaves again

###

I am not American. I’m an Australian genderqueer who is shocked and appalled by Trumps actions. Keep protesting! Everyone has a right to have their voices be heard.

I will NEVER side with the emperor unless I’m doing an evil run. Even then ehhh I don’t wanna.. he is the WORST. He lies to you throughout the first half of the game, the other half he bitches and whines if you mistrust him. He constantly gaslights you and holds the fact he saved you over your head, and is SO quick to side with the nether brain if you don’t listen to him.

Also it is genuinely insane that he shows you him enthralling Stelmane, who might’ve been his lover, giving her a stoke and leaving her brain damaged and paralysed. Even if they weren’t dating that’s still fucking insane because obviously?? And he shows you this like: “Aren’t you grateful this isn’t you? That you aren’t this innocent woman who I fucking possessed and enthralled? I’m the good guy.”

Going to be romancing Astarion because his evil storyline is so TRAGIC!! it will pain me to ascend him.

Immediately calling out the big guns here on proof that Mystra is, without a doubt, a predator:

1. Anyone who uses the Weave, Mystra is aware of them, how they used it, and who they are. That’s how she keeps anyone who uses The Weave in check.

2. Gale mentions being a child prodigy and catching the eye of Mystra at a young age, most likely at around 8.

(Elminster letter for reference: this can only be unlocked of Gale dies trying to achieve godhood.)

‘You could have been no more than eight summers' old, clutching your mother's apron, eyebrows singed off by the fireball you'd unleashed into your neighbour's rose bush. You were crying because the flowers were so beautiful, and you did not mean to destroy them.

How kind, how eager, how brilliant you were. And yet so naive. You could not yet see that power so carelessly begets destruction, but so too might your good nature be the guiding light by which your abilities might shape our world for the better.

Where is that child now, I wonder? Did he remain at Blackstaff, nose buried in his books? Does he live within his mother's ageing heart, weeping for those roses? Or is he within you still, lost amongst the trappings of godhood you so casually adorn yourself with?

Wherever he is, I hope he can forgive me. To him I promise - I will not make the same mistakes again.

Elminster’

3. Minscs dialogue after Gale is granted an audience with Mystra goes as follows:

Minsc: Gale reminds me of the vremyonni of my homeland. The man-mages of Rashemen.

Minsc: While the girl-folk go on to rule as wychlaran, Weave-touched boys were hidden away. Trained to work their craft in silence and secrecy.

Minsc: It is an old custom, not well-observed. In truth I thought it born of caution, after some catastrophe wrought by wizardly men-folk of old.

Minsc: Now I wonder if it was not done to hide them from Mystra, and the snares she sets for young and prideful boys, hm?

If that doesn’t not SCREAM ‘predator’, I don’t know what does. Even if Mystra only started to date Gale when he was 18 and had somehow had no prior relationship/knowing/WHATEVER with Gale: it’s still a relationship with some insanely unbalanced power dynamics.

Gale is a wizard. Wizards when doing any type of spell, have to beckon to Mystra to allow use of The Weave. And also the fact that, well, I don’t know- Mystra is a god. What more can I say? She made him feel special. He was one of the ‘lucky’ boys, being gifted and chosen by her. He was ‘lucky’ to be graced with the overwhelming force of celestial euphoria. He was ‘lucky’ to be a plaything.

Being that close to a drider was definitely an incredibly confrontational experience for him. And now being in a relationship with Wyll and having some earnest sit-down conversations about his life, he's rethinking just about everything.

Current loss of faith: 80%

"I feel as if l'm going mad. My prayers are not being answered- not even by myself. If the past 367 years have truly been a lie- gods help me."

(pro tip: talk to the sentient amulet to get a teethies shot. everyone loves teethies!)

(Admittedly I am not very good at this whole photo mode business. Enjoy an amateur shot and two boring face profiles!)

His name is Rhyl, and he’s a Warlock Lolth-Sworn Drow.

Rhyl was born into a lesser-known high house in the West Wall of Menzoberranzan, having worked for Elstearn's Escorts for as long as he can remember in order for favour of his mistress and to give his house a bigger name. He learnt how to keep people entertained and contented. At around 160 he’s never particularly questioned his life before the whole.. mind flayer debacle. He knew he had it better than the poor souls who were slaves, or the hung in Lolths favour. He knew to other male patrons, he had it easy. His mistress kept her leash loose, never really punished him for fun. (At least that’s what he tells himself, anyways). His life was mostly spent comparing his hardships to that of others to seek what little comfort was there to have.

Around 3 years ago, his mistress sent him out on a mission. It was simple, she said. Said he was ‘lucky to even be let out there’. Simply leave the city and find a kidnapped noble. He was ‘just a little westward, probably captured by some common criminals trying to get a ransom sum’.

It was hard. Rhyl is used to taking orders, listening to others. He never exactly.. thought for himself. And out by himself, give or take the few other drow seeking out the same salvation of convenience or murder of the nobleman. Being drow raised in Menzoberranzan- backstabbing naturally occurred.

Maybe it was dumb luck on the other man’s part- maybe it was purposeful. Maybe it was the universe being cold. But on the path there, a small spot of to the shadowfell had opened. And at the first glance, Rhyl was shoved in by someone. One less meddler to deal with. Nice and easy. The shadowfell consumes all.

And it was most definitely dumb luck on Rhyls part the he immediately caught the eye of the curious and enigmatic Raven Queen. They stuck up a deal- in exchange for freedom from the Shadowfell (and some neat little powers on top), Ryhl would make a pact with her and become a warlock. He took it- of course. He’s sheltered, not an idiot. She never demanded much. Mostly information and secrets. He was glad to supply, knowing many people from his.. connections having worked in Elstearn's Escorts for over a century.

Life was fine. Until the mind flayer ship. This new surface is confusing, scary and he wants to go back home to the relative safety of being a puppet. It’s easier than having a tadpole in your head. (Although maybe that’s just an alternative form on puppetry? I don’t know the schematics of mind-flayer philosophy). Mostly as of now, he’s just listening to what his party mates tell him. So he’s saving the grove since Wyll wants it and was the first to pitch in about it. Not to say he dosent make his own choices.. he may of gotten a little mad at Nettie and ‘accidentally’ slipped a few Eldritch Blasts.

Current thoughts on party:

Gale: The way he talks is somewhat humorous, but wizards are power-hungry. Also a little peeved about him eating up an artefact without telling me why.. but it was useless, anyways. Less loot off my back.

Wyll: Far too.. nice. Not to say it's bad, but I feel like he wants something from me. No one can just be nice without wanting something in return. I do like him, however. I'm just waiting for him to drop the ball.

Astarion: Keep those fangs away from me. He should consider himself lucky there's not a stake through his heart. He's also a darthiir.

Lae'zel: She's.. respectable. (SHES SCARY!!)

Shadowheart: I am quite fond of a woman who knows her aesthetics well. Other than that, nothing much to note on. Other than the glaring Shar worship..